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Geezus christ, 12?!
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H O L Y
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Thursday, September 17, 2020
On today’s news! We’ve got some random weather going on around the world, yet the sun rises. Sally touched down in Sweet Home, Alabama as a Category 2 storm. Slowly moving towards the Carolinas, it is expected that it will take her time traveling the East Coast. Meanwhile, wildfires on the West Coast are worsening. But fear not, since the one and only, Donald Dickerson Trumpet firmly believes it will ‘cool down’ and science is completely unnecessary. Heads up, annoying orange, you might be the unnecessary one here. Moving on to more catastrophic events! Venezuela’s government is accused of committing crimes against humanity according to the United Nations (UN). The government was working alongside other state agents to commit things such as extrajudicial executions, enforced disappearances, arbitrary detentions, and torture. Can someone please insert the ‘surprised’ meme? Because, honestly, nothing surprises me anymore. Back on the environmental side sea biologist, Emma Camp, says that the toughest corals could help dying reefs. That is great news but scientists fear climate change could wipe out all of Earth's coral reefs by 2100 and that means no future at all for your kids, grandkids, or anyone who’s able to live up to the year. So, what are you going to do? Be part of the solution or just another annoying wandering existence? HOLD UP! Do you remember this guy? That goes by the name of ‘Rona, “the virus”, Covid19 or Corona Di Virus, traveled the world for free and turned on the Pandemic button. Worldwide there are 939,427 deaths. Is that a big number? Maybe. But people are growing tired of it and the second wave is not just going to have a jumpstart but this time it will probably come with a boost. So far, everyone is trying to come up with a vaccine that actually works. In the meantime, wear a mask and stay away from me. Remember we are all at risk and if one (or couple more) thing we could learn from this virus is to not be a damn racist, to reconnect with nature, that humankind is both the antidote and the disease of the world and you can have a different opinion and still deserve respect. Hopping off the trainwreck, let me tell you that the Burmese roofed turtles, known for their permanent smile, are now saved from extinction in Myanmar! Not sure they might be ninjas, but the smile is guaranteed. And to keep brightening up this messy world, Scott Thompson, a farmer in Wisconsin decided to plant two million sunflowers to give joy to others. Happy International Patient Safety Day! Be safe, fist bumps are better than handshakes and wear a mask! Today is Thursday, September 17; 105 days until the end of 2020.
Friday, August 28, 2020
On today’s news! Weather is as random as a woman's mood swings. One day there’s a storm and the next one the heat tries to strangle you. The world is burning not just because of climate change but due to humanity being unnecessarily annoying to the environment lately (I see you California). Oh, and heads up! Despite the fact that you might be over Coronavirus it does not mean it is actually over, so be respectful and wear a mask (nose included). I seriously have no intention of dying, but you are free to do so; stay the hell away. The United States is under the Republican and Democratic National Convention Show. This year it will be the annoying orange, Donald Dickerson Trumpet vs. the other half of the O-bromance, Biden-boy. Any preferences? Don’t care, just vote. We’ve seen enough and maybe, just maybe a change is needed. C’mon democracy, do your thing. Russia, please stay out of this, go fix your vaccine or something. For a dose of unnecessary information, actress Bella Thorne became the first to earn one damn million in a day on OnlyFans. If you can please share news and awareness regarding Cuba’s current status. They are forced to live under a dictatorship, no freedom of speech, no voting rights, famine, and the cherry on top, the pandemic. Prices are going up and pockets are as empty as ever. There are non-governmental organizations but you can help by talking about it, get the word around. Instead of just drinking Cuba Libre, we could share awareness and hopefully break 61 years of Castro's regime. The world of entertainment invites us to watch the 2020 MTV Video Music Awards this Sunday, August 30th, because despite a virus, storm, or the end of the world, the show must go on. If you are curious, then this map is for you, because it will let you see how the continents have moved from 750 million years of continental drift (Here: https://dinosaurpictures.org/ancient-earth#170) Quite interesting to know that approximately 240 million years ago the Dominican-Haitian island was a submarine that went from the Pacific to the Caribbean. The dog days are over, Happy Birthday Florence Welch! Have a nice anxiety-free weekend! Today is Friday, August 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Tuesday, August 18, 2020
On today’s news! My eyes are not the only round thing burning since the sun came out once again after some intense rain and an orchestra of thunder and lighting. Speaking of, remember Wuhan? Yeah, that place in China where the virus developed and ruined the rest of the world, our lives, and added a boost to our anxiety. Well, they were having a massive pool party with a concert included. There were no signs of masks or social distancing. If cases peak, I hope you all keep having fun in lockdown. It is almost time to hop on the election rollercoaster and our least favorite annoying orange has been talking about whether he should go for four more years and maybe do a redo? Well,... hell no. Just like Michelle Obama expressed at the DNC, “D. Trump is the wrong president for our country” and boy o’boy she was not wrong. Talking presidency, after releasing her song and being who she is, Cardi B wants Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) to run for president. That sounded like music to my ears. Funny how people claim to have respect for women but would be shocked if an actual one ran for president. For the human that said “it’s a man's world”, your rights have been revoked because the world is just the world. In Belarus, there have been some issues as well and the leader, Alexander Lukashenko, menacing there won’t be elections until they kill him. At least he is honest and is opening the door to some other options on how to deal with him. The people are peacefully protesting with flowers in their hands and are still coming out despite the grenades and the police. Back to the bull--U.S. a deal was made with Taiwan, they sold 66 new American-made F-16 fighter jets and guess who’s not happy: China. Moving on, if you would like some inspiration and change the Pitch Perfect crew made a reunion and is the kind of energy we need right now. The group was singing ‘Love on Top’ by Beyoncé. In Warsaw, Poland there is a mural that not only makes the wall look pretty but it also cleans up smog and purifies the air since it is made of special, sun-activated, smog-cleaning pigments that were painted by local artists. Happy Constitution Day, Indonesia! Today is Tuesday, August 18, 2020. Day unknown od quarantine. --
Monday, August 17, 2020
On today’s news! The weather caught me off guard dropping in temperatures and not the bass. There have been some tropical storms going on around the globe but none of them seem to be a threat (for now). Mentioning the globe, there is something going on the Virgin Atlantic Group. They did file for bankruptcy but looks like they decided to turn it up a notch now with not just regular flights or cruises to make it out of the struggle. Presenting now, galactic trips. Yeah, Virgin will literally take you and other random people into space for the kind price of 250,000 dollars. Isn’t that just great? An offer out of this world and people are already booking. Unfortunately, I will have to bring you back down to Earth and land on top of New Zealand who’s 100-day-streak was broken by no other than Corona Di Virus. Apparently the disease is like the FBI, it listened to how good things were and decided to visit. Again. At least they are more decent than the rest of the world and will get back on track while in other countries, like the US, the president is attacking USPS because, well… If they are not voting for him, then no one gets a vote. Charming, aye? Speaking of votes and election, in the Dominican Republic, people were celebrating not just for the new president, but the fact that change happened after years and years under the same useless government. Karma is a beautiful thing. Someone else who is breaking records and going places, literally, is no other than Lewis Hamilton who dominated the Grand Prix in Spain leading the F1 standings. Now, I know nothing about cars but in Australia, the unsold beer due to the lockdown is being used to make renewable energy. They generated around 300k cubic meters of biogas, enough to power 1,200 houses. While we get wasted, houses can be powered up. Double boost. Retrievers (Labrador) is the most popular dog breed of the 21st century, Stephenie Meyer is planning on releasing more Twilight books and Happy birthday, to the one and only, Robert De Niro! Today is Monday, August 17, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Friday, August 14, 2020
On today’s news! I am growing tired of this weather drama, but what is worse is knowing that we are the cause of it. Hashtag climate change is real. First I want to get Senator DeSantis out of the way. This idiotic sack of meat, bones, among other things, just made a comparison between kids going back to school, and the killing of Osama bin Laden. ‘Aw, man I could not make it on time to work today, had to take another train and it kinda felt like doing the same thing as the SEAL’s tactics when they killed the guy’. Florida, you firecrackers need to be either nuked or let the ocean finally swallow you to clean you up. On the same line of delusion as the soon to be “ex-president of the Dominican Republic”, Danilo Blind Medina is now stating facts that are not real. Saying such things as “there are no more blackouts thanks to the new electric plant Punta Catalina”. First of all, you doofus, that is a monument of corruption, secondly, that piece of junk never worked. So if you apply that to the formula, how do you expect it to actually solve the problem when it is not even part of the solution! It is junk before even working, it is not environmentally friendly. To make it worse for Mother Nature, Mauritius is having an environmental catastrophe after a ship began leaking oil into the ocean. Greta Thunberg and Leo are disappointed, worried and so am I. Luckily, not everything is bad. John Legend released his new video ‘Wild’ and is not just utterly romantic and makes you feel bad about being single forever, but it also raised speculations about Chrissy. New recipe? No. New baby! Apparently they might be waiting for their third tiny human. No need to worry about having a gas station nearby, there is now a new german car, covered with solar panels and that charges as it drives. For the approximate price of 29,000 dollars (or 25,500 euros), you can have a solar-car. More importantly, there is a video going around the internet of a cat bobbing his head to some music. Happy birthday, Halle Berry! Today is Friday, August 14, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Thursday, August 13, 2020
On today’s news! The clouds finally opened up and felt much better after letting go of a few things. I, on the other hand, am not because humidity came afterward and the sun is not helping. Despite morphing with my chair due to sweaty thighs let me tell you that in the Netherlands, the Dutch police raided a large cocaine laboratory that was housed nowhere else but in an old riding school. The lab could produce a bunch of drugs (200kg) worth 5.3-7.1 million. Unless you want to have heart issues, toast your brain, or sudden death, please don’t do drugs. They are bad and so far, I haven’t seen any positive outcomes from them. Friendly reminder, there was a torture site in shipping containers found a while ago. Dutch police sure are finding stuff lately. Let’s talk about some business now. Somewhere in the tech world, there is a phone that costs 1,399 dollars (no tax included) and surprisingly is not from Apple. This time it is Microsoft’s first Android phone called the Surface Duo. Is basically a phone you can fold and it feels like having both an iPad and a phone fused together. Pretty much like a flip-phone but from 2020 and a couple more gadgets that you can pre-order at the eligible stores. Maybe in 30 years, we will be carrying plasmas in our pockets. Who knows. But what I know is that meat prices are finally falling, except for hot dogs. In Virginia, nurse Stacy Mason just made what I’ve always dreamed of: A pantry of taking what you need and giving what you can. Throwback to when the aisles of grocery stores were emptied of toilet paper because the virus was a total gastrointestinal issue and forts needed to be built. If you were one of those toilet paper freaks, I don’t like you at all and I hope one of your rolls gets wet. Anyways, this nurse passed by the ICU with a pantry (cart) full of items that people might actually need, and if someone had a spare to share, she’d take it and put it in the pantry in case someone else needs it. Lady, thank you for being on the front lines and for basically being an angel. Our elephant friend Kavaan is finally free from the Murghazar Zoo and if you feel like vacationing and going for a drink, Budapest is the place. Happy International Lefthanders Day! Today is Thursday, August 13, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Wednesday, August 12, 2020
On today’s news! I’ve been awake all night thinking about the meteor shower, unfortunately only thinking since the clouds were preparing for their upcoming presentation on possible rain and humidity 101. On to the Pacific! Hurricane Elida. She is a Category 2 aiming for a slight brush to the west-central Mexican coast. Um, and for the Atlantic, lookout for a possible Josephine. On the pandemic menu, the world keeps serving Corona-Beer-Us, but now a new item was added: Vaccine. From whom? Well, Russia. Obviously, they got their title of “the first to come up with one”, congratulations but because of that, and despite being approved, it still raises some questions whether it works or not. Some might even wonder if it could be infused with some vodka, but let's leave the shots for later. Biden announced that Kamala Harris will be taking the spot of vice president; she is California’s actual Senator. If you want to get goosebumps, look her up talking about the anti-lynching bill. Yes, it is a shame that at this point, we need to talk about the subject. Some humans seem to be evolving but backwards and maybe we should just brainwash them into believing they are cockatoos or something. Moving to the state where everything is possible and common sense is a shiny pokemon: Florida. More specifically, Key West. No, Karens are not asking for the managers, this time police officers arrested an EIGHT-year-old kid, with special needs, for hitting his teacher at school. Now I ask the world and you: Where is humanity? The kid got a damn mugshot, was taken into custody, got his fingerprints taken, and on top of that charged with felony battery (unwanted touching). Seriously, what the fridge. Fortunately, his case was dismissed and the boy will be receiving mental health treatment. Feel like quarantine erased clothes from your life? Well, not in Virginia’s Sharp case! She survived the pandemic by live streaming fashion shows on Facebook, so if you would like to reconnect with your closet, dress for the occasion and watch the show on the first row. Also, two beluga whales are now free for the first time since 2011 with a new life on the Icelandic coast. Everything whale be ok now, my maritime friends. Happy world elephant day! Today is Wednesday, August 12, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
On today’s news! It seems like I am waking up on the left side with my right foot. Despite the curls due to the humidity, it appears that the weather will be less of an arse in the upcoming days. Shall I remind you that there’s no better trickster than the weather itself! As you probably know, since you read these masterpieces, people are getting over the pandemic that started approximately five months ago for the rest of the world out of Asia. Records are breaking and of course, who has to come in first? North America. A few days ago we left the Corona Di Virus subscription at 18 Million (worldwide) but just like Pewdiepie, the subscribers went up to 20 million registered cases. Are you worried? Well, don’t be. Relax your mind with the meteor shower that will happen in the late evening hours of August 11 (today) and early morning hours of August 12. Let’s hope for clear skies and beautiful balls of gas moving from miles away. Now back to worrying, the world is burning, exploding, and erupting. The floor is lava in Indonesia after Sinabung volcano erupts and sends ash three miles into the sky. In Baltimore, Maryland a house exploded, no cause has been determined but a possible leak could be the culprit. In Puertollano, Spain there was an explosion as well but this one was thanks to lighting and the most unfortunate one is that there was a shooting near the White House but Sir Yose-Trumpet remained untouched. Talking about blowing away, Chicago just faced a derecho (definitely not law-related), a weather event you probably haven’t heard off unless you’re into weather and stuff. Is basically a hurricane Jr., strong winds for a long period of time. The Dominican Republic will be changing its chairman (president) in 5 days and Juan Orlando Hernández (Honduras president) will join the ceremony along with Mike Pompeo (U.S. Secretary of State) and Jovenel Moïse (Haiti president). Moving on, but still remembering to wear a goddamn mask, look up Joan MacDonald (@trainwithjoan). What about her? Well, she is a 73-year-old badass lady who had an incredible transformation. While we complain about back pain, the lady is getting ready to bury us all. Way to go! It is never too late. Literally. Chris Pratt is having a baby girl, is global kinetic sand day, and a happy birthday to Chris Hemsworth. Today is Tuesday, August 11, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Monday, August 10, 2020
On today’s news! Trying to resist the urge to go back to sleep, the sun rays are as intense as ever. The heat comes and goes while my coffee is nowhere to be found. Send help. As usual, the start of the week is supposed to be the reset button for some, but not for the virus that is still going on in the world, except for New Zealand. Congrats for celebrating 100 days Covid-19 free. However, hide yo’kids, because they are testing positive. To the East of the Caribbean, there have been some disturbances other than the Sahara dust. Apparently, those disturbances are the perfect mix to create another tropical storm with a 60% chance of developing. You know the year will not go down quietly and the same goes for Belarus who are protesting after the preliminary results from Sunday’s presidential election revealed another victory for Alexander Lukashenko. Why are they mad? Well, because the dude has not only been on the job since 1994, or called Europe’s last “dictator”, or has long drawn international criticism for suppressing dissent, but because some discrepancies were shown in the vote count. Again, what else is new? Some ol’voting fraud. What is wrong with people lately, wanting the presidential job so badly, go cut grass or something, stop messing around with countries, making people go out the streets to protest because you are making a bigger mess just to grab all the benefits for yourself. Similar in Lebanon, Beirut, where grief is turning to anger and the people want to shake the government tree wanting them to step down. For example, the Minister of Information and the Environment Minister stepped down after facing the calls from the people to do so. We create things and then fight over them. Humanity, please, we’ve got to step up the game. In India, Meena Kumar, a teenager abandoned by her parents, now raises money to give senior dogs the love she found with a forever home. Ever heard about smart windows? Well, there is now a new transparent spray-on coating for windows, developed by researchers at RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia, that can block heat and conduct electricity for a cheap yet smart solution. You can not just block the haters, but now the heat. Epic. Now, please let us celebrate one of the majestic species to walk the earth, and no, I am not talking about me. Happy World Lion Day! Today is Monday, August 10, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Friday, August 7, 2020
On today’s news! Despite the weather being a pain not just in the neck but on the hair, it is a lovely day. If you are a makeup fan and/or Alicia Keys, the brand e.l.f will have another line of products and it is said is not ‘another celebrity beauty line’ since it will be inclined to preserve what is natural beauty. Adding to that, Alicia would like you to know that you are good enough for the world to see and society has unrealistic beauty ideals. I mean, come on, we should really stop stereotyping people and remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Still talking about the famous, Cameron Diaz quit acting and decided to become “self-sufficient” but what is more important, she was able to find peace. From her personal experience, it is intense being in the public eye. You might not have to deal with that but just picture being in a family gathering and you are bombarded with the usual killer questions of what you’re doing with your life while waiting for your favorite cousin to arrive. It is no surprise, but Manhattan apartment sales plunge while the suburbs go up. After all, paying rent for an apartment in New York is pretty much like throwing money into the air and hoping for the best. Yes, you are stupidly expensive for just 2 square feet, social distance is not even possible. For the world’s luck, they are not giving Mr. Orange Hayman military options because the doofus could start a war. So, instead of having two unpredictable loaded guns (Yeah, North Korea), we rather have just one. Oh, and unless China sells TikTok, it will be banned in the States. But since it is the weekend, and we don’t need more nonsense about people not knowing how to properly wear a mask, I have to tell you this: Jason Momoa surprised his wife Lisa with the restoration of her first car which is a 1965 Mustang. Talk about love in four wheels. I know you will have a nice weekend, stay away from me, and wear a damn mask. Happy International Beer day! Today is Friday, August 7, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
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Thursday, August 6, 2020
On today’s news! Temperatures are going up and my sleep schedule is under error 404. Luckily for Hawaii, hurricane Douglas kept moving north; it only grazed the islands, preventing it from making landfall. At the moment, the application TikTok recently got a copycat app that goes by the name of “Reels'', it is available in the US, was tested in Brazil and of course, Zuckenberg is back under the spotlight for his awesome copying features. Way to go! Now let us sit back, relax, and watch the world burn. Out of the phone and into the box, Mike Tyson, who is 54 and has a marvelous tattoo, is returning to the ring. I suppose quarantine had some secondary effects but unfortunately, working out was taken out of our manuals and the only marathon I see is the one from the kitchen to the room with constant back pain. The man of the hour, Corona Di Virus, apparently will have a vaccine available for frontline responders by December. If we all have to start singing Mariah Carey right away, count me in, because all I want for Christmas is not you, but vaccines and some peace of mind. Let’s go down to Chile where they said “farewell, plastic bags!” and now it has become the first South American country to ban the commercial use of plastic bags. Could we please turn this into a challenge? Since it looks like its the only way to grab someone’s attention nowadays. Oh, and while we are at the climate subject, two Canadian ice caps have completely disappeared. I have the bad feeling that unless the problem comes knocking at people’s doors, humankind will do nothing about it. I hope I’m wrong and we take better care of Mother Nature. After all, we only have one planet at the moment and can’t wait for Mars to have the water running for us. Walking with science, a new study says that infrared lasers destroy harmful plaques in Alzheimer’s brains. And, in Thailand, a five-month-old pup tracked down his vet’s office and found help getting home. Who’s a clever boy? He definitely is. Happy Independence day to Jamaica and Bolivia! Wanna join the “plastic bag free” club? Today is Thursday, August 6, 2020. Day unknown of quarantine.
Wednesday, August 5, 2020
On today’s news! After the so awaited hurricane-storm Isaias, came by, the power left in some areas without a note and trees fell like sticks. Not sure if this is summer’s farewell or prologue. Stay tuned. You probably know it, but Beirut, Lebanon is not having a good time at the moment after a massive explosion took place in their docks. The cause? Ammonium nitrate. White-looking like chunks of powder, this chemical compound is soluble in water but once it comes near high temperatures (210 °C, approx 410 °F) and/or fire it creates an explosive reaction. This item has a deadly combination of explosiveness and oxidizing. It explodes naturally in hight temperatures but it can also explode without a match since it is also a material capable of oxidizing, in other words, it can be triggered on its own if not handled properly. It is as if the month could not wait to get worse. Oh, and since we need to talk about benign careful, some countries are straightening their face mask rules. What does that mean? Take a deep breath and sit because soon you might have to wear one outdoors, too. Looks like social distancing is not super effective anymore. But fear not! Even if the market runs out of masks, let me tell you that a couple in Colorado restored a 100-year-old sewing machine, learned how to sew, and are donating the face masks to the needy. Please don’t forget to eat your greens! In Australia, musicians perform songs using only fresh vegetables before cooking the spare parts for the audience. I bet that sounded healthy and fresh. Talking fresh, wind power is now so cheap that it could start paying the money back to the United Kingdom consumers. How crazy is that? Money flying back to you must be nice. Oh, and if it was not enough circus, a certain king Juan Carlos I, from Spain is planning to move (in exile) to the Dominican Republic wearing a crown of corruption. My dude, was is not enough with the crown poking their noses back in 1492? Beyoncé would not approve. Happy Independence Day, Burkina Faso! Today is Wednesday, August 5, 2020. Day unknown of royal quarantine.