Less than 3, More than 3

Adventures and experiences in polyamory, friendship, and life.

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

It's Been Too Long

Since I've blogged anything resembling an update on this blog. This is because grad school had completely consumed my existence, but I feel the urge to drop by to post little updates, so here's some updates:

- my second year of grad school is going extremely well. I've decided to take a year off between my Masters and my PHD, so I'll be in Alabama for a bit longer.  - I'm now acting in a Shakespeare play. I will be various minor roles in Rocket City Shakespeare's Coriolanus in December. - Things are still good with C. He's also acting this semester, in a play the university is putting on - β and I are doing all right too. Distance is hell though. We try to talk every day, but school is making that a little bit complicated, sadly. He's running a D&D game for me over google chat, so we've at least had some fun between all of my insane running around.  - I have a new squish! My friend ST who goes to grad school in Canada and I have started exploring a fun mutual attraction, which isn't quite a relationship and isn't quite friends with benefits, but it's a Thing and it's been fascinating and fun to explore. - I'll try to update this blog more, since I have a feeling I'll have more things to say about poly soon :)

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

A Surprising Weekend Inside the Touchy-Feely World of Polyamory

When sexual liberation becomes an official “lifestyle,” is there any fun left?

An interesting read, but the author and I clearly diverge on the idea of 'fun', the idea of polyamory as a whole, and the purpose of nonmonogamy. 

I have many thoughts about this article, most of which boil down to my thinking that both the author and the folks at the conference are attempting to box an unboxable lifestyle, and focuses heavily on the salacious 'free love' angle rather than the way most polyamorous relationships tend to play out in reality. 

Also, I'm not a fan of being referred to as 'polys'. Smacks a little bit too much of 'the gays' or similar. It's also very hetero focused, and generally very narrow overall.   

Thought I'd post it along on my tumblr and share with my poly friends and other folks in nontraditional relationships. Your thoughts? 

[brella]

Visit Original Link

Remember our song, Val?

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

A song for thepolyguy, who proposed to me a week and a half ago. Next summer, we're having a commitment ceremony, to share with our closest friends and family that we love each other, and that we wish to be married in the eyes of those who love us, even if the law won't permit me to marry a man who's already legally hitched. 

But that's as maybe. The important thing is, we went out to see the second How To Train Your Dragon movie, and when this song played... we looked at each other and just... knew... that it was time to make our words real. 

So after the movie, he asked me. 

And I said yes. 

I love you, C. I can't wait to marry you. 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Three days of β sharing my odd little life here in Alabama. We went on a mini-road trip, cooked, played tabletop games, played with cats, and the time went too quickly. 

I miss him already... 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Slow blog month

But is mostly because I've been working, helping with shakespeare. And getting excited. β is gonna be here in literally an hour and a half. I am losing my mind with excitement.

[cinereys]

I will love you forever; whatever happens. Until I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, until I find you again.

Philip Pullman, The Amber Spyglass (via mazzello)

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

β is coming to visit at the beginning of July

The noise that just came out of my mouth was not human and was possibly only audible to dogs. 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Never underestimate the therapeutic power of a good blowjob.

The only piece of advice I truly have to offer the world.

[fuckyeahsuccubi]

What kind of Succubus do you love the most?

Oooh, tough question. Laying aside the easy answers - whichever one I’m closest to, who’s most liable to get naked - and the stupid answers - I’m a lust and illicit sex demon, I don’t love! - leaves me in quite a pickle.

It also depends on how you’re really defining ‘kind.’ I mean, do you mean phenotype in their native form? What kind of abilities they have? Who they prey upon? What are their hunting patterns? And so on.

In the form: Wellllll, native shapeshifters, most of us. Any physique or coloration you name, I wouldn’t mind getting freaky with it. Laying aside possible succubi feeding feedback loops. The mortal have better have enough energy for all of us, otherwise, bad times.

In the abilities: Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I’m not crazy about the dream haunting stuff. Mortals have these painfully active imaginations, and that can get dangerous for not much reward. Also not a huge fan of the mind control mojo. It just feels like cheating. I prefer to get by on my appearance and years of experience.

In the hunt: Personally, I favor the path of obsession. Basically, you catch your target’s eye, and see how far they’ll go to have you. Will they steal, kill, betray their country, their family? And when they’ve sacrificed everything for you, you reward them by ripping their essence out of them, and laughing at their ‘love’. Mind, it’s a long-term hunting method, more for the flavor than the sustenance. Toooootally worth it.

…In conclusion, I’m my favorite kind of succubus. Hands up, everyone who was surprised.

(Personally, I’m a fan of my significant other. They’re a bit too filled with candor, and I’m a bit too not dead from energy drain for me to really call them a foocubus, but pet names don’t have to make sense. They just have to be suitably sappy.)

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

in which β refers to me as the succubus he loves the most, and I am flattered and turn into a little ball of happy squealing nerdiness. 

New Relationship Energy is fantastic, even if you're 900 miles away from the person you love. <3 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Executive Decision

It has been decided that the book Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey is required reading for our polycule. Preferably the entire trilogy, but at the very least, Dart is required reading.

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Limbo

I've been sitting in this airport since 1:30pm. My flight home is delayed and I feel as if I'm going to lose my mind. It's like Nebraska refuses to remove its claws from my soul. Not to mention I miss β already. I have no idea when I'm going to see him next. The dichotomy of anticipating meeting C at the airport and feeling like everything that happened this week was an insane dream is gnawing at me. All I know for sure is that I'm in love, and I'm lucky, and I'm ready to go home.

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Updating the Relationship Web

As of yesterday, β and I have moved away from the awkward 'we don't know what it is we're doing but we have feelings' romantic entanglement and upgraded to actual significant others. 

So, tl:dr -- I got a new boyfran :D 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Wedding Drama Update

So, instead of stewing over events of last night conversing with my friend and getting more and more upset, I actually did the adult thing and decided to ask him, via text, if he'd had the same conversation with Jm. 

And he has. And it's been made clear across the board that it's not a matter of responsibility, it's like a neutrality agreement, wherein both Jm and I have agreed (through the groom) to not engage in conversations that would cause an excess of drama, and to avoid each other, something simple in a large crowd at a wedding reception. 

So, it isn't just me being treated like crap, communication is open and clear all around, and now that I have all the information, I feel better about the situation. 

I still need feminism, obviously. But what I need most of all, independent of anything else, is good communication. So, I'm glad I took the time to ask him and get everything cleared up.

All is well amongst the plains-dwellers. Wedding's on Friday. Tonight is the bachelorette party, and that'll be fun. 

I'm glad I sorted things out. 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Because tonight I got a text from my friend who’s getting married on Friday. The one I came back to Nebraska for. Because, in all honesty, there are maybe four people who I’d willingly come back to Nebraska for, and he’s one of them.

He texts me to inform me that my ex, Jm, will be attending the…

[pulchriglutenous-deactivated202]

I would just not go to the wedding, personally, and when asked why I didn’t show up? I’d say exactly what you said.

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Which is exactly what I would do if coming to this wedding weren't my sole reason for coming back to Nebraska for a week. >.<

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Why I Need Feminism: Personal Stories Edition

Because tonight I got a text from my friend who's getting married on Friday. The one I came back to Nebraska for. Because, in all honesty, there are maybe four people who I'd willingly come back to Nebraska for, and he's one of them. 

He texts me to inform me that my ex, Jm, will be attending the wedding (which I knew) and that it would probably be best if I didn't talk to him. In fact, his exact words were 'well, don't speak with him if you can avoid it and that should prevent any issues.'

Because Jm is still in unrequited love with β, who I had and still have something resembling a romantic entanglement with. And so, my talking with him might upset him and cause awkwardness and drama at the wedding.

As far as I'm aware, he only spoke to me about this, and not to either β or Jm. 

So, just to make that perfectly clear, I have to avoid talking to HIM, it is MY responsibility, to avoid him and not speak to him, because HE has a problem with me being involved with a person who has expressly stated they were not interested.

...

I need feminism because I live in a world where I, the (mostly) female-presenting party, am responsible for my four years past ex-boyfriend's reactions to being rejected, and it's MY job to make sure there isn't any awkward drama.

I'm responsible for his being an asshole. Not him, not β, not anybody else. Me. 

... Someone explain to me how that isn't just so fucked up. 

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Such Excite

W is flying in tomorrow. I can't wait to see him!!

[lessthanthreemorethanthree]

Priorities

Me: ( concerning one of C's coworkers) you liiiiiike her.

C: she's crunchy!

C: ... and she brings me food.