Les Swan Queen @lesswanqueen - Tumblr Blog

It takes courage to allow yourself to feel love

To say “I love you” for the first time to a new person after a toxic relationship

So more than a year ago I ended my relationship with a girl who trully hurt me and changed me in many different ways. I used to say to her “I love you” quite a lot, I always wanted to be sure she knew it even I was not recieving the same kind of answer from her, in fact... the first time I said to her “I love you” she literally answered “I hate you”. Its amazing how 3 words can actually mean a lot.

It took me almost 3 years to finally love myself a little and end a relationship that took me to the point of a dangerous depression in which I even found the word “suicide” a possibility.

After the break up I started to heal myself and get surronded by people who appreciate me, I started a new life and met a lot of new and amazing people.

Now I find myself building a healthy relationship in which I’m loved, respected, valued and safe. The thing is... I feel love, I really do and I can’t let those words out of me, I guess I’m scared to say it for the first time after all that happened.

Today I woke up next to that amazing person, she went out fo a run like every morning and I grabbed a tiny piece of paper, I wrote “I love you”. It will take me a while to say it with my own voice looking at her but that tiny piece of paper is a start right?

So now I write this post from another room waiting for her to come back and see that tiny piece of paper... I’m nervous as fuck...