shark vs the universe
$LAYYYTER
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@lethargic-flora
hey I just watched the finale of avatar for the first time and I sobbed so hysterically at it my fitbit started vibrating violently to tell me that I was burning calories. I’m 17 years old.
the kids are all right
no I’m not man I’m still sobbing
one of my classic texts, from the archives
dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.
My orange cat won't eat people food but apparently freeze dried strawberry shortcake bars are the exception
When I was little my auntie loved pirates of the Caribbean and my weird godfather was like a real life ninja or something and they kept asking me if I'd rather be a pirate or a shinobi. I was like five. Don't know what a Shinobi is. Obviously, pirate, her influence mattered more to me bc she looked like bayonetta.Whateva. But this dude was very intent on changing my mind. He got me smoke bombs. Sometimes a little tnt here and there because he was an explosives engineer as his dayjob. He taught me how to make the moltov cocktails, got shurukeins for my bday, a grappling hook, brass knuckles, smoke bombs with fun colors, I already had nunchucks bc I was in martial arts in a specific class-but when I was 13 for my b'day he gave me a katana. Like sharpened and everything. Taught me how to cut branches and shit with technique, there was a note that said specifically not to use it to kms and then I never saw him again. That was a part of my childhood. I kept getting the katana taken away bc I used it to poke holes in my ceiling. I have nobody I can tell this to. I still have it, it's in my room in a corner.
He was in love with my mother like for a long time but to this day she won't tell me why she left him
Here's the katana pic @levy-the-artist it's old and went through three separate moves and not every mover was the kindest with it
When I was little my auntie loved pirates of the Caribbean and my weird godfather was like a real life ninja or something and they kept asking me if I'd rather be a pirate or a shinobi. I was like five. Don't know what a Shinobi is. Obviously, pirate, her influence mattered more to me bc she looked like bayonetta.Whateva. But this dude was very intent on changing my mind. He got me smoke bombs. Sometimes a little tnt here and there because he was an explosives engineer as his dayjob. He taught me how to make the moltov cocktails, got shurukeins for my bday, a grappling hook, brass knuckles, smoke bombs with fun colors, I already had nunchucks bc I was in martial arts in a specific class-but when I was 13 for my b'day he gave me a katana. Like sharpened and everything. Taught me how to cut branches and shit with technique, there was a note that said specifically not to use it to kms and then I never saw him again. That was a part of my childhood. I kept getting the katana taken away bc I used it to poke holes in my ceiling. I have nobody I can tell this to. I still have it, it's in my room in a corner.
He was in love with my mother like for a long time but to this day she won't tell me why she left him
When I was little my auntie loved pirates of the Caribbean and my weird godfather was like a real life ninja or something and they kept asking me if I'd rather be a pirate or a shinobi. I was like five. Don't know what a Shinobi is. Obviously, pirate, her influence mattered more to me bc she looked like bayonetta.Whateva. But this dude was very intent on changing my mind. He got me smoke bombs. Sometimes a little tnt here and there because he was an explosives engineer as his dayjob. He taught me how to make the moltov cocktails, got shurukeins for my bday, a grappling hook, brass knuckles, smoke bombs with fun colors, I already had nunchucks bc I was in martial arts in a specific class-but when I was 13 for my b'day he gave me a katana. Like sharpened and everything. Taught me how to cut branches and shit with technique, there was a note that said specifically not to use it to kms and then I never saw him again. That was a part of my childhood. I kept getting the katana taken away bc I used it to poke holes in my ceiling. I have nobody I can tell this to. I still have it, it's in my room in a corner.
i have a bunch of disgusting ideas if anyone's interested
Some people don't need a girlfriend or a boyfriend they just need a really really niche interest or hobby or a weird animal as a pet that requires 24/7 mental engagement and that's all dude
captchas are getting way too hard man I can't do this
If I had a diner, the coffee would be 50¢ a cup. Just 50¢. Always 50¢, price never changes, it’s like the Costco hotdog. But the coffee is bad. Really bad, so bad, lukewarm, watery, medium roast SWILL. But it’s so cheap you feel like you want to finish your cup and buy another because wow, it’s so affordable. You drive by and you think ‘Hey, that’s the place with the cheap coffee, I need to go back there.’ having totally forgotten the coffee is bad, you fall for it again. Why would I do this? Because I’m evil.
warm fuzzies
i dont have an angel and devil on my shoulder there's just a protestant telling me to work harder and a white buddhist who probably misunderstood buddhism telling me to stop wanting anything
i used to follow someone who would reblog this post like 50 times a day and i tried to filter it but because i filtered it using the whole phrase i would see them all anyway but it made the whole post funnier to me so i left it like that and now every time i see this i smile fondly
I can't tell you how strange it felt to see a post with this photo attached, bc I also have this post blocked in the exact same way
Though to be fair it's nice to know I'm not alone
For some reason none of my Miis like my beescake...
[showing a medieval peasant radioactive by imagine dragons] so we have devices that can record sounds and music as if it were words upon a page
peasant: can we listen to something else
me [lying maliciously]: this is the only song we have.
I think its funny when they do this
