AMA! Just a satyr trying to live my day-to-day life and sharing my thoughts with the world. He/him, 23, "otherkin". Apparently plural. Gosh, it is hard to keep track of what I keep uncovering about myself.
Ok, so, it took me time to gain confidence for creating this blog. I know there are not a lot of Changeling: The Dreaming fans and even less of those who, well, actually find it believable enough to center their entire personality around it, buuut...
In case there are, welcome! This blog is about... me? kind of? because I can certainly say that I identify myself as a 100% real-no-scam-no-lies satyr, though limited by the confines of the ever growing Banality taint. In case you feel the same connection to The Dreaming as I do, or are just curious, feel free to follow!
Been doing some personal research, found out about many things my fellow brethren did in the past.
First of all, the world definitely needs some glamourbombing here, in Moscow's outskirts. The forest here is in danger of being cut down by a fraudy construction company, and all I personally can do is make it as remarkable and mysterious to local people as possible. The place needs to entwine its roots around people's hearts, and then maybe, just maybe there would be one with authority enough to protect it.
Second, I was a bit low on the mood lately. I crave whimsiness, I require silliness, I long for goofiness. Spare old satyr a couple of jokes to make his day brighter, if you may.
Well, might as well share some info about my headmates, that they seem fitting to share.
One of them is a human 18 y.o. she/her from her world's version of GA, Atlanta. She was turned into a vampire right at her 18th birthday and it bothered her for a long time, to say the least. She miss the taste of human food, so she often just takes control to have a treat or two.
The other one is a living armor. We can't figure out what it is, but it's alive, sorta. It once belonged to a Mongol warrior, and usually it just... stands there menacingly. Unless it doesn't, in which case it likes to hang out with the third one...-s? It never spoke a word or made any sound except metal noises, and it's proven to be empty inside.
Third ones are some sort of nature spirit. They have a difficult past, but now they just like to hang out (literally) with their living armor pal. We assume they talk to each other, but spirit never told us anything about it. They are very communicative and choose a new name and new pronouns as well as a new appearance every now and then. By the time I finish this post, I think they'll become something entirely different.
Fourth wants to share his name. Goccen, he/him. He's some sort of complex meta-being that collects new aspects as we explore the "worlds beyond" — usually from videogames, movies or books. It's hard to say either what he is or what he isn't, but he just points out what labels don't exactly fit for him when asked about particular ones. He is very polite and likes to talk in British received pronunciation, although none of his aspects never originated from Britain.
He has a brother, though. This one personally heavily empathizes on being a demon, and he is a founder of the clan the vampire girl was given an embrace by (like an Antediluvian, iynyn). He likes hot baths and black tea with chili pepper and no sugar. He had done many nasty deeds before, but he takes pride in repentance and is always the first one to properly apologize when the argument takes place.
There are many more, but not all of them are willing to share, and most of them are currently in a state that makes it difficult to communicate with them. I am hoping for asks, as it may encourage those headmates who opened up to share their stories, and the rest to be less afraid. It's like finally opening a bunker door, and the residents are so very much unsure about coming out into the vast unknown.
Here are some old photos I've made during different periods of my life in no particular order, just to archive them here. I rarely take photos, so every single one of them bears significance to me. I didn't know that there are a limit of 10, so I'll make one or two more posts with them.
Just blocked the funniest anti (@/songsofthedisturbed if you wanna block). Can't believe you'd be sad enough to make a post of 'if you're reading this you are a human' and then tag it with as many alterhuman tags as you can.
Can just imagine them fiendishly rubbing their hands together like hohoho that'll show 'em! They'll cry and piss because I told them they're human, hurts to face reality doesn't it freaks? This is such a good use of my time.
And then it's like...0 notes lol.
Please keep it at no notes. Absolutely hilarious this way.
Here's a better version btw
The irony is that also posting a picture about 'i didn't ask to be born as this' like dude are you denying yourself something here?
greatly suspect this is same user who indeed seem to deal with very bad species dysphoria , and label self to be " therian anti " while deny personal needs and identity . if familiar with another semi-recent wave of hate just like this , well , this seem to be that same user .
this user make claims that to harass and hate on others help to deal with dissonance and what not . this is obviously unfortunate , and really only throw further into crisis while drive away folks that might want to help otherwise .
would suggest everyone to disengage . not even to mock how futile this is , please . as some people say , any attention is good attention .
I want to share a little rhyme from child's writer and poetess Agnia Barto. Made an heuristic translation, of course, but I'd add a picture of original book, because it just adds to the feeling.
It's called "Conscience", but a figurative "Still small voice" is much more fitting, I think.
WARNING! This rhyme mentions mild animal abuse, so read at your own risk!
Any other nonhumans who have never met another one of their species? goddamn it gets so lonely sometimes. feeling related to so many creatures, but not quite there. not quite fitting in. other specific monsterkins and demonkin where y’all at😭😭
Because I am definitely a pack animal, even if I’m not even an animal at all. I very much long for and dream of some type of connection with my own species. Humans constantly say it’s cruel to separate members of the same species, that, “a human could never replace what another ——— could” and we’re unfairly the exception
I feel like I’m lacking social skills. Not social skills when it comes to humans, but social skills when it comes to interacting with my own species😭
Anyways use this post to find more creatures like you if you can!? What are you? What’s your species?
Satyr here! I understand it deeply, nothing hurts as bad as longing, and longing for your kith is as painful as longing for long lost home. I just get the feeling sometimes that I was too separated from my kith, and the only company I currently have is a nocker and a mage. They are the best people I've ever known, but they are just not satyrs.
Sometimes I wonder if a tragos even accept me, if I was to meet one. I feel like all this Banal life I lived had left too big of a scar on my fae nature for others to interact with me. What if they, like, "Oops, haha, um, sorry, we thought you'd be capable of running a little longer and play any music instrument besides guitar! And, uh, your humor is too dark and specific, maybe try attending sluagh tea party next time?"
It's horrible of me to assume, but I am just too scared deep inside.
Heh, love how there's a "scar-" in "scared", ironic.
For all the time since my Chrysalis I've been contemplating the Seelie and Unseelie courts, more from a moral perspective than anything else. Today I've come to an unusual thought, regarding Seelie Code as I know it. I'll be using this part of C:tD as reference, so if you don't see the Seelie as it is described in C:tD universe, you might as well not read this post to minimize the misunderstanding! If you do feel comfortable with me referencing to it, or if you are just curious to take a glance on my point of view, then feel free to continue.
(TW: this text will be referring to such themes as religion, hate, banality, discrimination and revenge.)
Now, I've been thinking about one particular "tenet" — "Never forget a debt". My human side, raised in human morality and somewhat close to Christian concept of forgiveness, never sitted right with this tenet. It was protesting, saying that a debt is a choice, a contract that can expire and sometimes even be neglected. That we aren't obligated to hate the hateful and harm the harming.
And, well, it resonated. I have thought of it as a problem, not as a conflict of natures. How do one incorporate forgiveness into the "eye for an eye" policy? It hit me only today, so that's the reason I'm writing this post.
Let's start from the far, almost as far as we can. Trust me, we'll need a deep dive here. What is a fairy? A being (I think, just hoping you'll be on it with me) born of creativity and Glamour, a dream incarnate. The very nature of a fairy depends upon powers of belief, of emotions and fantasies. True be the word that our existence may predate this of a human, and may even precede the wery Earth we live on. Yet the times changed, and now the vast majority of beings populating this planet are not-so-firmly connected to the Dreaming; moreover, most of them even see the concept as something hard to grasp, let alone accept. This, by all means, does not mean that they are to blame — after all, there was, and maybe still are reasons why humankind at large rejected the wondrous and embraced the mundane, dividing those concepts. But it presents us with the harsh reality. Denizens of Dreaming retreated deeper, and those who remained assumed guises.
But... Why did we persist on staying here? What made us stop at the golden gates of Arcadia and turn our gazes towards the world that we inhabit to this very day, despite all the dangers and hardships? I think I might have an answer, deep in my heart, and if this answer is right, then it might as well be in yours.
We stayed because we are needed.
Every being is needed in some way. I can't say why exactly we are needed, but there may be a mission given to us by Tuatha, or, perhaps, just a long-forgotten oath. Whatever it is, it makes our presence here meaningful. And to me, the meaning is in preservation of the Dreaming itself. Why else would we leave Arcadia's reaches? It definitely has a room for everyone, it is not confined by "space" and "time", the very act of exiting it is ridiculous due to what you miss by doing so! And yet we were here and not there even before the Banality was a thing. I am sure there are someone somewhere who can say that they left Arcadia after the Banality influx, purely out of spite. Purely to fight it off.
So, what is the deal with the "Never forget a debt" thing?
Banality is hate. Banality is refusal of accepting and understanding. It is a following of the main lane, where only vibrant colors are traffic lights and store signs at best. Banality is a distillate dogma, the mundane, the faith in all that opposes opportunity and discriminates the unique.
Hate itself is a good fuel to it. Banality feeds off hatred and intolerance, of despair and compliance. And when you lash out on some deeply lost person that tries to spread the hate — you comply to the rules of force they serve. Mind you, not their rules. They don't make the rules, they abide by them, like an appendage abides the command of a brain. Trying to fight the appendage is like trying to cut the head of a hydra — you'll only summon more hate and oppression upon yourself.
So, here's the solution: teach. Think of a hateful person as if they weren't taught to operate their empathy and emotions, as if they were never taught on how to hold a spoon or what are names of things around them. Imagine what would happen to the force they serve if they were to understand what they are doing? It's as if the appendage rises against its body, separates itself and becomes something more than a part of system. Every head cut like that is cauterized, it won't grow back.
I know, it's tempting to just mark people as half-wits and oafs, but it would bear no fruit at best. Retreating to think about a fitting and explanatory answer to a hateful (and therefore false, inherently contestible) statement is never bad; separating yourself is making their task of segregation and opression easier.
What is for an "eye for an eye", then? Oh, well, just think about how they would feel if they truly understand what they've done and what they have been doing. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and the remorse is ice-cold indeed. Just make sure to offer a chance to repent and some warm guidance afterwards; I beg of you not to leave anyone freezing in this harsh Autumn World.
Aaah I've never seen someone connected to the Dreaming like I am!! I generally call myself faekin but like... nothing has described my experience like CtD has. So , hi from a fellow seelie (Eshu :3)
Hello, fellow kithain! May your wanders be wondrous, and your stories be plenty!
Yeah, same about CtD. When I digged into it, the very concept and many of terms proved to be very precise about the whole experience. By the way, thanks for the first ever "ask" on this blog, really'd love to see more of it!
I wrote a little poem a while ago. It's written in other language, but a passion of mine is heuristic translation. I'll try to retell it here as close to original as possibe in English.
I've seen a world; so beautiful, so carefree,
The birds there sang about ther cherished lovers.
The trees there grew and smiled at the dawn breeze,
Oh, to angrily stride through your palace, smashing antique vases and statues along the way in impotent rage, while a letter slowly smolders in the fireplace, saying that the plot against the Duke has been uncovered, and a flintlock pistol with one bullet awaits you in your chambers.
Since I've started this blog, I felt my link to the Dreaming regrowing and my passions re-emerging. It has multiple factors to it, but I want to mark one particular aspect: connection.
In my local community (a district of a capital city, mind you! the scale is huge!) there were exactly none like-minded people found by me or my close, non-kithain friends. And here... Here I feel this communal understanding, moreover an understanding of themes and feelings the local language doesn't even have words for. For the first time in my life since Chrysalis I've stopped thinking about horrible things, for the first time ever I've stopped fearing the Banality as much as I did before. For I know there always will be a community I could go to for an advice, for a good laugh and an interesting story, for a correct term and inspiration.
I am so, so thankful for it. Everyone reading, reblogging and commenting my blog is wonderful. Thank you all!
Went silent for a few days, lurking behind the wordless veil of reading and leaving likes here and there.
I have learned so much. Even that maybe, just maybe, if I were not the only one to speak on behalf of this body, then we(?) would be counting as plural (I'm still questioning of the terminology, so I haven't managed to develop a habit of phrasing it without being afraid to offend anybody). And yet, all the others in our system(I'd rather call it a hierarchy or community in my/our case) are yet too cautious to step out and tell their story. I hope they will find themselves comfortable one day.
