I created this blog as a space to share my spiritual insights and to help explain spiritual concepts that have become very mainstream that I believe are being misunderstood. Please understand this is my understanding and I’m not god, just a mere interpreter trying to help the collective. If you are new to spirituality, read this.
2023 Master Post
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tarot | law of attraction | twin flames | soul mates | spiritual awakening | auras | past lives | therapy | mental health | starseeds | inner child | numerology | faeries & mermaids | spirit animals | MBTI | enneagram | human design
Topics on my to-do list:
mythology, specifically Greek and Roman | deities /finding yours | 5D integration | 3D proof of the 5D | death energy | the language of spirit | why our spirituality weakens with age | blood disorders and other “disorders” and spirituality | energy sensing | energetic proximity | levels of living | energetic loss | hierarchies | cassadaga | energetic clearing | meaning of life | translating higher dimensions into 3D | energy of creation | energetic shifting | how you hold your power back | anti love | energetic manipulation | power of intention | frequency and music | letting go | portals | discovering spiritual gifts | storytelling and spiritual tools | how to remember what you know | circulating energies | aha moments | energy of non-judgement | energetic recharging | energy channeling | energy of spaces, ie bedroom and how to shift energy of spaces | remote viewing/deja vu
I know I’ve been away and it’s because Saturn return babes. I’ve really been considering making a tarot or oracle deck, putting my spirituality out there in a more forward way. But I’ve been really scared about it, fear of being seen and what not. If you want, I can share a video I saw recently about that that I really liked. I feel like people I’ve met here have been so wonderful. What do you guys think?
Like should I compile this blog into a book and add stuff? I really want to figure out how to explain some of my more in depth ideas around looping and the inversion we exist in.
Should I make a TikTok? I could do readings online like some people and use my own deck which would be dope.
My deck idea, I kinda want to do a deck based on the journey of the wounded healer and use some of my life insights and maybe poetry to get the message across. An oracle deck is more free form and a tarot deck is more formal, I don’t have to follow RW so I could do it however I want. I’d love to work with an artist on this deck so if any of you are artists and want to work with me, lmk :)
You guys are my first group I’ve found and connected to in this way as like someone sharing my authentic self from a place of confidence and being someone people look to for guidance and it was so healing for me. I’m not sure this blog is the best space for my spirituality any more but let’s talk about it.
Hey. I saw someone do a lyric analysis of Sunflower Vol. 6 and I was curious what you think of it: https://www.tumblr.com/rachthepoet/751666859836948480/sunflower-vol-6-analysis?source=share
Hi :) hope you’re doing well. I appreciate you sending this in. It was a fascinating read for many reasons.
Some parts it sounded like they had read and were responding to my interpretation which is dope and another layer in the human communication spiral that makes stories so fun.
I want to start my response with this instagram post that I came across this month:
I looked into it and yes. It’s a thing. And sunflowers are now being used in Hawaii to not only remove harmful toxins from the land that was caused by big agricultural companies testing harsh chemicals in Hawaii (there are numerous microclimates across the islands that make them valuable for testing agricultural products like pesticides and it’s also poisoning the land and people, leading to birth defects and illness) but to also create sunflower oil as alternative fuel.
I bring this up because the life cycle of the sunflower is used a lot in their interpretation which I loved, but now with a new dimension to sunflowers I just learned about I think there is more nuance around the idea of planting new seeds. And picking sunflowers.
“Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody” “sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory”
With this added layer, we now know sometimes sunflowers being picked is to prevent the spread of further toxicity. You kill the plant for better soil. Which is interesting when you think of keeping something sweet in your memory. Sunflower seeds can also be toxic to some plants. The idea being that it’s not just the plant is toxic or not but the environment it grows in and what surrounds it and what it is used for. More toxic soil, more death and starting over for sunflower, but each new start creates better soil until you create the right growing conditions “you can see the world, following the seasons” the pain and endings (deaths) you go through leads to more fertile foundations.
There is also the idea that toxins that are held in the roots and stems aren’t seen in the beauty of what is produced, the flower “we held darkness in withheld clouds” the darkness and pain in Harry and his relationships aren’t shown, just the bloom of the song, no one knows why he cut the plant down or the quality of his soil.
**sunflowers are native to North America, peak planting of seeds is between April and May, they bloom in August with National Sunflower Day being in August**
Now for some specific comments:
Communicating through flowers… didn’t Harry’s house use flower imagery for hints leading up?? Harry is in love with the art of subtlety and I know he’s read up on flower symbolism. He loves cryptic communication.
Sunflowers represent devotion “you’ve got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes”
Sunflowers follow the sun across the sky as part of its growth cycle, “browns my skin just right” satellites rotate around a planet, the earth rotates around the sun, he watches this person from the outside, from above and from below, a rotating cycle between earth and sky that we’ve talked about on here before, he watches them shine in the distance, from a far, from another planet/world in awe “you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring light to the darkest days”
Harry understands this relationship to be one of advancement and development and not just love alone
1-9 in numerology also represents the cycle, so yes I think numerology comes into play here. 6 is also the month of June “baby you’re the end of June”
I loved the insight of psychosocial inclusion! Gotta read up on that. Isolation vs intimacy is a continual theme for him. I think he feels safer isolating and experiencing his feelings for himself but that creates a lack of intimacy in some ways. I’m actually learning this lesson right now which is why this also strikes me. Part of relationship isn’t just being there for others but allowing others to be there for you. You don’t just celebrate your birthday for yourself but so others who love you can also celebrate you. People who truly love you want to celebrate you and be there for you in your times of need and you deny them that when you cannot show up and be there or accept their love and support. I think maybe he was alluding to understanding this more in Harry’s house promo talking about being a son and friend etc.
Cyclical experience as a theme in the as it was video, in him rewriting songs, a satellite revolves, spinning out waiting, he’s looping around and around, like I’ve mentioned before, but I think he broke through finally with Harry’s house, but then with Make my Day, maybe he didn’t break through as much as he thought ( I have to guys)
“I believe Sunflower, Vol. 6 can be heard as a romantic reassurance hymn when studied through the lens of Ginsberg's poem. Something, or rather someone, beaten down but with the potential to bloom out of hardships. I see this narrative & nuance running rampant through the song and its core relationship”
I agree with them on this… because we hear this sentiment fleshed out more with Matilda. I’ve said before that part of Harry’s fame is to provide that reassurance to many, including his sm. This song is a reminder that not only can sunflowers bloom in toxic environments, they take that toxicity and turn it into spiraling infinite beauty of flowers blooming within flowers (sunflowers are giant spirals and fall in line with sacred geometry). They remove the toxicity from where they are and leave behind more fertile land for the next person. Harry sees sunflower this way, as someone who’s done that, but he also wants to say even if they don’t reap the benefits of what they’ve done, it still meant something.
Will Harry not stop spinning out till they step in and stop him, like a record, he can’t stop spinning until the cycle ends “I’m coming back again” (JCHNY). They have to complete the cycle for him move on? He’s been rewriting music for years, how long has he been looping?
This relationship, this daydream and dream world he returns to with them is his stabilizer, we see this sentiment in LNT. I mentioned this song could be a daydream with them and that sort of makes further sense to me. When does he feel the most beautiful? After he sleeps? Why? He goes to his dream world and relationship as his home within himself, the place he returns to when he’s fallen and he’s low. When he’s tired of playing pretend. He goes to She, the soulmate and love he feels has always been there that he imagines finding if he can just stop looping.
You were never no locomotive, Sunflower, you were a sunflower!" Fascinating when we know now how they can remove poisonous toxins from the earth. Being compared to industrialization, sunflowers can cure the soil of the toxins of this industrialization, its change is both the curse and the cure, “could but wouldn’t stay, wouldn’t put it like that” sunflowers becoming locomotives creates toxicity, sunflowers becoming sunflowers again removed the toxicity, being authentic, the sunflower didn’t know the power in being a sunflower until it became a locomotive and could see why it needed to be a sunflower
The natural vs. the unnatural. The natural here is Harry and his sunflower, of course. The unnatural being encompassing of whoever and whatever that is a negative outside force impacting the health of the relationship. Think of infected soil.
We see this theme in his distaste with modernity “go home get ahead, light speed internet” “tea with cyborgs” … think of infected soil and that soil is cured by the sunflower itself, you have to stick it out to really heal
Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you… I now read more as false intimacy sometimes when we want to connect with someone we move really quickly, tell them everything about us, jump in really quickly to spending time together, meeting friends and families and integrating into one life “two hearts in one home” instead of keeping our own separate lives and building a bigger shared life. It creates an intense connection without a true foundation (we hear these themes further fleshed out in Harry’s house) Harry wants interdependence not codependency and I think he’s had to heal a lot to understand the difference between the two. But I think codependency and the intensity is still hard for him to not feel drawn to. True love grows over time and you don’t feel the need to move fast because you aren’t afraid they will abandon you because you are secure enough to know you will be okay with or without them. Most of us don’t date like this until we are older or have done significant internal work. He’s reflecting on the love of younger years being more intense but less real. True love is more peaceful and can feel boring if you’re used to the ups and downs of false intimacy caused by unhealed wounds. But that’s part of the process before you learn how to create excitement from a new healthy place like learning relationship skills together or seeing it as a fun challenge (I’ve started viewing exercise this way after healing a lot of stuff with my body so I think this can happen for romance too, seeing having hard conversations as learning opportunities because you can handle the outcomes better)
but not having himself hung up high beside them, for he's the one in constant admiration
He can see them but they cannot see him. See they share a world together in the non-physical but in reality they aren’t together, he can see her in his dreams, but he can’t know for sure if she sees him, he sees her clearly, but she doesn’t see him clearly, for he is a real person staring and she is an image, a mirage, ghost, daydream, he’s staring in her eyes but is she looking back, that’s why he longs for her in the flesh, to ask these questions that she may or may not be able to answer, she is now a portrait of a person but not a person, he’s in love with the portrait of them but he longs to love all of them, if he could only know them beyond this portrait of them he has
In the end, just like you can pick a sunflower and the toxins contained within will be removed from the soil, this song is a capsule that contains all the seeds he’s been planting for years and is a reminder to his person that soon the flowers will have to bloom
This has even more significance when we connect it with one of Harry’s favorite songs which is all about wanting to experience and watch a relationship grow throughout its lifetime, not just the parts where it blooms “Its cuz I love you babe, in every kind of way”
Now all you have to do is show up, he built the house and has a sink and every thing. lol. Can’t wait to see what HS4 ends up being.
Um, hello?? This amazing response to my analysis of Sunflower, Vol. 6?? I am so honored to have sparked this beautiful post. There were so many added details that I never even thought of, and I’m in such awe. Adore the nuance you added about the sunflowers, it truly made me sit back and think even deeper than I already have.
Thank you to whoever shared my post, for one, and, two, thank you to this talented person for further expanding! You amazed me! 🤍
Hi! I loved reading your analysis. I would love to analyze music with you any time or hear your take on other songs and meanings. Feel free to check out or respond to any of my other Harry lyric analyses if you want to :) I feel like I see so many similar themes across songs that sometimes it does feel like collective messages or they’re all intertwining at times (between artists and between their own discography obviously)
Anyway because the universe and synchronicity, I saw this a few days ago.
This is what I meant about the sacred geometry thing. It’s interesting because everything is like a Russian doll, or a forever inward spiral, more inward, less outward; and Harry’s work captures that feeling of spiraling so well and I’m not sure if it was intentional but this return of themes is fascinating for me and I’m curious how he takes it further.
Can you do a couple more lyric analysis posts if you’re up to it? I was gonna request adore you and as it was. The songs not the music videos. (Although the music videos are a conversation for another time). I just heard them while I was driving home back to back
I’ll do As It Was! That’s a pretty fascinating song to be so popular, but I almost never vibe best with the singles he picks lol.
TW: this song explores dark themes in my interpretation so I talk about self unaliving and some darker topics, just fair warning.
(Come on Harry we wanna say goodnight to you)
Harry’s all about the playfulness of childhood. It’s also funny to have this at the beginning of the song because it indicates maybe he is about to go to sleep, so maybe this song is a dream in and of itself. It also ties in with the phone call theme…
Holdin' me back, gravity's holdin' me back
Interesting because of his theme with his person waiting in the sky, he’s answering their unspoken question of “where are you?” Heaviness is weighing him down “I’m getting heavy, you know what it feels like” I always heard this as the gravity of life, of reality, the stressors of the real world keep them apart, he can’t reach them (another theme)
I want you to hold out the palm of your hand
This is him admitting he needs help, he’s saying I’m weighed down but if you’d just reach out your hand and help pull me up we’d be on the same level, what does he want from them? Just a helping hand sometimes, but he’s breaking it down to the actionable steps needed.
Why don't we leave it at that?
I always feel like there’s a part of him that’s frustrated he has to even ask for help, didn’t they notice he was held back behind them? Why do I have to ask for a basic helping hand?
Nothin' to say, when everything gets in the way
The miscommunication between Harry and this person continues and it’s really a misunderstanding, people approaching things from a different perspective, this angle I think applies to a past relationship as well as to his sm. To an ex or even the world at large he’s saying you didn’t understand my basic humanity and there’s nothing to say, with his sm there’s all these years between them. All his life they’ve witnessed. What does he say when they do meet? This is all “the middle” he’s talking about, the past, what happened, what didn’t happen
Seems you cannot be replaced, and I'm the one who will stay, oh
Harry is terrified of being left alone (abandoned) and here he notes the irony that he’s the one who still believes and is holding on while this person left him in the cold, they left and can’t be replaced “can’t unpack the baggage you left” this is why he’s not really a loner, he just hasn’t found the right fit. Despite his attempts. “There’s always the two, the one who stays the one who’s leaving you” (leaked song lyrics from him but also from the Preatures “is this how you feel” they toured with Harry— the whole album is great but business, yeah was always my fav)
Seems you cannot be replaced but he’s not sure if they can be or not still. He could still be the one to leave. Things just seem this way.
My honest to God feeling is that both Harry and his sm have been through darkness and in many ways I think Harry is worried they may leave him alone in this world. They might exit. Seems your unique energy cannot be replaced on this planet, and I’m the one who will stay, I’m the one who is holding us down, this same gravity holding them apart is also what’s tethering them together.
It’s also that no one can replace the energy of this person, and while he’s stayed believing all this time in the specialness they waver (maybe because he can see them but they can’t see him)
In this world, it's just us, you know it's not the same as it was (2x)
“Maybe one day you’ll come into my world” in something great he talks about his world and their world, but now they have a shared world. What is this shared world? His daydream world with she, the world he’s created and manifested through music “your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody” he’s planting the seeds that it’s different now, he realizes they aren’t in separate worlds, they are in the same world, it’s actually only them in this world. He thought he couldn’t touch them in their separate worlds but through going within he finds their shared same world.
But like I said above, this is also to me, a song of encouragement to his person. In Matilda we get, “you can see the world, you can chase the seasons anywhere you go” like that is Harry telling someone who doesn’t want to be alive anymore what there is to live for. Directly. “It’s not the same as it was” because you’re an adult now. That’s where the video comes in. Looping around and around on a hamster wheel and never getting anywhere (themes in satellite and keep driving). He tells them he loves them but they never understand. Ironically his fans do the same, see all the parallels and mirrors man. He’s encouraging them throughout this whole album to keep going. “Its not the same as it was” can also mean things get better. He’s saying don’t leave, it’s just us in this world (soothing technique to calm people down, like it’s okay it’s just us, remember, things are different now. )
Answer the phone
“Don’t blame the drunk caller” “even my phone misses your call by the way” demanding like it can’t be missed or unaddressed, answer the phone like answer the call, which was used with late night talking, the phone ringing as well as the whole “people destined to meet” thing in the promo. I think he’s both confirming he answered the call (telling sm I’ve been doing my work for us, and also begging them to answer the call, the phone too, show up, which gives double meaning to the you’re no good alone, he’s saying sm answer the phone I’m not good without you)
Harry also plays with the theme of communication in his music by also having lyrics that seem to be pieces of conversations such as in lights up, this song and others, where he uses someone else’s words to tell his story or only his words omitting theirs (like in lights up) so much to do around media narration, him not having the words, him reflecting on the words, who’s words matter more his or theirs, so many layers here. The way he plays with perspective by intentionally keeping it vague allows various meanings.
Is Harry telling himself to answer the phone? Is someone else telling him to, or is he just saying he answered the phone and was told the following line…
"Harry, you're no good alone, Why are you sittin' at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Harry believes he’s not good without someone, (maybe fear of being a solo artist and he’s devastated by the ending of 1D) he doesn’t know what his purpose is when he’s alone. I think this part of the song is Harry reflecting back on his lowest moment in life like he said.
There are many feelings I have here. I have a vision of young Harry and his mom coming in and saying something like this to him. Like why are you sitting all alone on the floor, he’s not actually alone, he’s daydreaming , but this part of him people make out to be crazy “what kind of pills are you on” This misunderstanding of his nature made him feel he had to perform a version of himself for others. But what if he wasn’t alone on the floor but with his sm in his mind? What if he was talking to imaginary friends and his mom jokingly came in and asked what he was doing in a way that made him feel shame for being different.
This may also deal with a self unaliving attempt. Like I get a vision of him using drugs to cope and another woman he cares about finding him and getting him to the doctor. He’s showing his scars and deep pain because so many people see him as this lucky happy guy when deep inside he feels chronically misunderstood and alone and he can’t even be really free now with fame. And he can’t stand being vulnerable so he will always perform fine to the masses. He wouldn’t ever admit to having depression let alone discuss his possible suicidal thoughts publicly. He doesn’t share his thoughts much publicly. I wonder if he shares his thoughts outside of art much at all, when he feels like no one “wants to hear his tiny violin” That’s not his image and who he is. He wants to put love into the world even if he’s full of disillusionment with it. But he doesn’t want to perform with a partner and yet he still “plays along” when “she asked me to choke her”
Ringin' the bell
Urgency, door bell, again like answer the call, wake up basically, he’s ringing the bell? There’s no subject but someone is ringing the bell. Ringing implies more than once.
And nobody's comin' to help
No one is answering, not Harry, no one is coming to help him but also who’s ringing his bell with urgency and is he answering?? The bell is being rung for help, as opposed to being a warning or being a chime indicating time. Or maybe he misread the sound of the bell.
Is someone ringing the bell alerting about Harry not being okay and no one is listening?
Your daddy lives by himself, he just wants to know that you're well, oh
What? This line seems to come from nowhere. This is a mirror reflection, Harry has watched his dad have multiple marriages and he doesn’t want to end up alone like his dad. I think this line signals he recognized where he was living out his father’s mistake, he sees how he’s been similar. I also see a young Harry like ringing his dads doorbell maybe being dropped off or after school and no one answered. I think Harry learned young no one would get him or soothe his feelings so he just turned them off. His dad in an interview from years ago mentions Harry wasn’t an emotional child and didn’t cry when his parents told them they were divorcing, he was 7. Which means his emotions were messed up before then. Young children should be able to openly cry and since he couldn’t I’d say his upbringing being British and also his particular parental stuff left him not knowing how to have or feel feelings.
I had a similar experience. I think really sensitive children can intuit their parents feelings and may naturally people please before they even know that’s what they’re doing. So I think Harry always learned to put an “I’m fine” face to people please his parents out of worrying about him. The problem is that this leads to a deep disconnect of self. Like him saying he didn’t have it bad growing up. He always down plays what he’s been through and he’s rewarded for this particular coping mechanism but it’s why he has to ask someone to hold out their hand and he sees this now too, which we hear in make my day “you won’t have the answers to all my questions” he’s not looking to be saved, he’s saving himself, inner child work
Who is talking to him? Is it his mom trying to get Harry to talk to his dad on the phone? Or is Harry rationalizing how to perform being a son to his dad (he lives alone, he just wants to know you’re okay) but again that’s Harry putting his parents needs before his own as a child.
He’s also juxtaposing what sounds like multiple phone calls. Harry is a master of piecing clips of moments together to paint a disjointed picture of his reality which mirrors his own experience living in a chaotic reality. We see this in the promo with fast moving clips of various scenes. This album is clips of his thoughts and memories and mind like he’s said. The first is Harry talking to someone on the phone about what he’s feeling (the song opens with a phone ringing sound almost) the next is someone calling him worried about his state of mind, the next is his mom trying to have him talk to his dad and I think he’s trying to show the connection between them all. His dad wants to know he’s well but we just learned he’s been on a bunch of pills, it’s going back between childhood and adulthood, cause effect, back and forth. His dad wants to know he’s well, will he perform and say yes? Cyclical like he accomplishes in so many works.
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet
“All we ever want is automatic” the modern hamster wheel of life, distractions from dealing with the past, being present
I don't wanna talk about the way that it was
Ooooofff so much in this line. He doesn’t want to talk about the way what was? The band for one, relationships from the past, he’s saying pretty definitively, I don’t want to keep rehashing the past, also maybe he’s referring to people watching his life online, he watched during the pandemic his music have this new life and I think this could reflect that too, I don’t want to have to talk about this old thing from years ago, the weird part of making music is living in like a time warp where you live in the present writing about now for the future while singing and playing about the past. He wants to move on and release this but can’t when people won’t let him. Maybe that’s why he’s started trying to pick select things for search engine reasons (was Harry’s house named that to decrease searches for his homes location or images??)
Leave America, two kids follow her
Bro I know all the things about this line. As an American I have joked many times about Harry being right and we need to leave America lol. People say this line is about Harry’s family, say it’s about Olivia, etc.
I mean yeah he could be reflecting about being someone who breaks up families coming from a broken family and what that says about him. He made sure to not connect his music to Olivia for this round for fans who listen to him, so I think that was deliberate so I don’t read this line about Olivia. I read it as he moved away from the US in 2020? Right sold his mansion in LA? Leave America (LA). It’s a random line people throw away but when we connect it to the next line…
I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first
I feel like he’s saying so many things. I always first hear it as like I don’t want to talk about who’s getting married first, that’s what comes to my mind. Probably because the bells right after lol. Which give both wedding and Christmas chime vibes. He could be talking about who’s gonna leave the band first. Who’s gonna leave the relationship first. Or also like he mentioned, this could be him releasing the need to be the first and greatest and he doesn’t want to talk about trivial stuff like that.
I know everyone says this is a song about his parents divorce, and yes partly it’s that but also to me it’s him exploring what made him this way and he’s reassuring himself and his person that he’s not the same, things aren’t the same, “we’ll be alright” “we never learn, we’ve been here before” this song is so popular because it stands in for so many things. For Harry I think it means so many things… even more so with the success of it. I think to his person and to himself he’s soothing and saying it’s okay it’s not the same as it was.
Hey. I saw someone do a lyric analysis of Sunflower Vol. 6 and I was curious what you think of it: https://www.tumblr.com/rachthepoet/751666859836948480/sunflower-vol-6-analysis?source=share
Hi :) hope you’re doing well. I appreciate you sending this in. It was a fascinating read for many reasons.
Some parts it sounded like they had read and were responding to my interpretation which is dope and another layer in the human communication spiral that makes stories so fun.
I want to start my response with this instagram post that I came across this month:
I looked into it and yes. It’s a thing. And sunflowers are now being used in Hawaii to not only remove harmful toxins from the land that was caused by big agricultural companies testing harsh chemicals in Hawaii (there are numerous microclimates across the islands that make them valuable for testing agricultural products like pesticides and it’s also poisoning the land and people, leading to birth defects and illness) but to also create sunflower oil as alternative fuel.
I bring this up because the life cycle of the sunflower is used a lot in their interpretation which I loved, but now with a new dimension to sunflowers I just learned about I think there is more nuance around the idea of planting new seeds. And picking sunflowers.
“Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody” “sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory”
With this added layer, we now know sometimes sunflowers being picked is to prevent the spread of further toxicity. You kill the plant for better soil. Which is interesting when you think of keeping something sweet in your memory. Sunflower seeds can also be toxic to some plants. The idea being that it’s not just the plant is toxic or not but the environment it grows in and what surrounds it and what it is used for. More toxic soil, more death and starting over for sunflower, but each new start creates better soil until you create the right growing conditions “you can see the world, following the seasons” the pain and endings (deaths) you go through leads to more fertile foundations.
There is also the idea that toxins that are held in the roots and stems aren’t seen in the beauty of what is produced, the flower “we held darkness in withheld clouds” the darkness and pain in Harry and his relationships aren’t shown, just the bloom of the song, no one knows why he cut the plant down or the quality of his soil.
**sunflowers are native to North America, peak planting of seeds is between April and May, they bloom in August with National Sunflower Day being in August**
Now for some specific comments:
Communicating through flowers… didn’t Harry’s house use flower imagery for hints leading up?? Harry is in love with the art of subtlety and I know he’s read up on flower symbolism. He loves cryptic communication.
Sunflowers represent devotion “you’ve got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes”
Sunflowers follow the sun across the sky as part of its growth cycle, “browns my skin just right” satellites rotate around a planet, the earth rotates around the sun, he watches this person from the outside, from above and from below, a rotating cycle between earth and sky that we’ve talked about on here before, he watches them shine in the distance, from a far, from another planet/world in awe “you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring light to the darkest days”
Harry understands this relationship to be one of advancement and development and not just love alone
1-9 in numerology also represents the cycle, so yes I think numerology comes into play here. 6 is also the month of June “baby you’re the end of June”
I loved the insight of psychosocial inclusion! Gotta read up on that. Isolation vs intimacy is a continual theme for him. I think he feels safer isolating and experiencing his feelings for himself but that creates a lack of intimacy in some ways. I’m actually learning this lesson right now which is why this also strikes me. Part of relationship isn’t just being there for others but allowing others to be there for you. You don’t just celebrate your birthday for yourself but so others who love you can also celebrate you. People who truly love you want to celebrate you and be there for you in your times of need and you deny them that when you cannot show up and be there or accept their love and support. I think maybe he was alluding to understanding this more in Harry’s house promo talking about being a son and friend etc.
Cyclical experience as a theme in the as it was video, in him rewriting songs, a satellite revolves, spinning out waiting, he’s looping around and around, like I’ve mentioned before, but I think he broke through finally with Harry’s house, but then with Make my Day, maybe he didn’t break through as much as he thought ( I have to guys)
“I believe Sunflower, Vol. 6 can be heard as a romantic reassurance hymn when studied through the lens of Ginsberg's poem. Something, or rather someone, beaten down but with the potential to bloom out of hardships. I see this narrative & nuance running rampant through the song and its core relationship”
I agree with them on this… because we hear this sentiment fleshed out more with Matilda. I’ve said before that part of Harry’s fame is to provide that reassurance to many, including his sm. This song is a reminder that not only can sunflowers bloom in toxic environments, they take that toxicity and turn it into spiraling infinite beauty of flowers blooming within flowers (sunflowers are giant spirals and fall in line with sacred geometry). They remove the toxicity from where they are and leave behind more fertile land for the next person. Harry sees sunflower this way, as someone who’s done that, but he also wants to say even if they don’t reap the benefits of what they’ve done, it still meant something.
Will Harry not stop spinning out till they step in and stop him, like a record, he can’t stop spinning until the cycle ends “I’m coming back again” (JCHNY). They have to complete the cycle for him move on? He’s been rewriting music for years, how long has he been looping?
This relationship, this daydream and dream world he returns to with them is his stabilizer, we see this sentiment in LNT. I mentioned this song could be a daydream with them and that sort of makes further sense to me. When does he feel the most beautiful? After he sleeps? Why? He goes to his dream world and relationship as his home within himself, the place he returns to when he’s fallen and he’s low. When he’s tired of playing pretend. He goes to She, the soulmate and love he feels has always been there that he imagines finding if he can just stop looping.
You were never no locomotive, Sunflower, you were a sunflower!" Fascinating when we know now how they can remove poisonous toxins from the earth. Being compared to industrialization, sunflowers can cure the soil of the toxins of this industrialization, its change is both the curse and the cure, “could but wouldn’t stay, wouldn’t put it like that” sunflowers becoming locomotives creates toxicity, sunflowers becoming sunflowers again removed the toxicity, being authentic, the sunflower didn’t know the power in being a sunflower until it became a locomotive and could see why it needed to be a sunflower
The natural vs. the unnatural. The natural here is Harry and his sunflower, of course. The unnatural being encompassing of whoever and whatever that is a negative outside force impacting the health of the relationship. Think of infected soil.
We see this theme in his distaste with modernity “go home get ahead, light speed internet” “tea with cyborgs” … think of infected soil and that soil is cured by the sunflower itself, you have to stick it out to really heal
Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you… I now read more as false intimacy sometimes when we want to connect with someone we move really quickly, tell them everything about us, jump in really quickly to spending time together, meeting friends and families and integrating into one life “two hearts in one home” instead of keeping our own separate lives and building a bigger shared life. It creates an intense connection without a true foundation (we hear these themes further fleshed out in Harry’s house) Harry wants interdependence not codependency and I think he’s had to heal a lot to understand the difference between the two. But I think codependency and the intensity is still hard for him to not feel drawn to. True love grows over time and you don’t feel the need to move fast because you aren’t afraid they will abandon you because you are secure enough to know you will be okay with or without them. Most of us don’t date like this until we are older or have done significant internal work. He’s reflecting on the love of younger years being more intense but less real. True love is more peaceful and can feel boring if you’re used to the ups and downs of false intimacy caused by unhealed wounds. But that’s part of the process before you learn how to create excitement from a new healthy place like learning relationship skills together or seeing it as a fun challenge (I’ve started viewing exercise this way after healing a lot of stuff with my body so I think this can happen for romance too, seeing having hard conversations as learning opportunities because you can handle the outcomes better)
but not having himself hung up high beside them, for he's the one in constant admiration
He can see them but they cannot see him. See they share a world together in the non-physical but in reality they aren’t together, he can see her in his dreams, but he can’t know for sure if she sees him, he sees her clearly, but she doesn’t see him clearly, for he is a real person staring and she is an image, a mirage, ghost, daydream, he’s staring in her eyes but is she looking back, that’s why he longs for her in the flesh, to ask these questions that she may or may not be able to answer, she is now a portrait of a person but not a person, he’s in love with the portrait of them but he longs to love all of them, if he could only know them beyond this portrait of them he has
In the end, just like you can pick a sunflower and the toxins contained within will be removed from the soil, this song is a capsule that contains all the seeds he’s been planting for years and is a reminder to his person that soon the flowers will have to bloom
This has even more significance when we connect it with one of Harry’s favorite songs which is all about wanting to experience and watch a relationship grow throughout its lifetime, not just the parts where it blooms “Its cuz I love you babe, in every kind of way”
Now all you have to do is show up, he built the house and has a sink and every thing. lol. Can’t wait to see what HS4 ends up being.
Since you have been sharing some lyrics analysis of harry’s music
What do you think about “little freak”? 👀
I feel like there is so much we can try to figure it out
I agree with the idea it is about the sm
The first parts of the lyrics are so direct with “You bring blue lights to dreams”
Or “Somehow, you've become some paranoia”
A wet dream just dangling
But your gift is wasted on me”
I guess new music is coming and maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling his energy more the past month or so and wanting to analyze songs. So here’s a long awaited draft.
I think little freak is really complex and it feels like three parts to me. To me, all Harry’s songs are inspired by his real world bodily sensations, his mental fantasies, and his spiritual metaphysical feelings (his gut and intuition). So this song in a way feels like three parts addressing three things—mind body and soul. That’s why I say his songs can be about a physical person and still be spiritually a song for his soulmate. I think he’s aware of some songs he writes and others I think he’s acting as a divine channel and what comes out comes out which is why I’m not sure how deeply he looks into his own work. She is one of these that I think poured out of him and maybe even shocked him that he could write something like that whereas other songs he’s more meticulously worked on over time to get right like this one.
Little freak, Jezebel
So the term Jezebel comes from the Bible and basically it’s a term for a woman who is sexually alluring and can lead men to evil, not unlike a siren. Jezebel is also a term for a black American women stereotype that was used to dehumanize and sexualize black women. In general it’s a sexist term that more colloquially means a sexually alluring woman who’s dangerous, a femme fatale. I’m not sure he is aware of its racialized history in the US as a white British guy. I don’t think he would call a black female muse a jezebel.
There is a repeated muse in Harry’s songs who is someone very alluring and tempting to him, but ultimately they are not something he can have or he thinks they aren’t right for him in some way or at this time even though they feel right to him. Whether because he won’t let himself have them or because they won’t let him have them the full way he wants. “You sunshine you temptress” “you flower you feast” Someone both light and dark. Complex, “not too sweet.” Calling someone a freak can be sexual but he can also be saying someone who is a freak of nature, someone who stands out and is different.
You sit high atop the kitchen counter
High as in above or as in high on drugs, (“so you wait for me in the sky” “you’re in your airplane seat”) I get the image of a boy reaching up high for cookies. Something desirable he yearns for but can’t quite reach, there they are, always just out of reach, kitchen is the place of domesticity for Harry “kids in the kitchen listen to dance hall”
He could also mean literally they are sitting on his counter top “you were just doing cocaine in my kitchen, you never listen”
Stay green a little while
Stay green as in stay young, naive, I think Harry sees himself as someone that has been taught hard lessons in life. I think he sees the world much differently than others, not just because of success but because the industry he’s in and what he’s had to give of himself, he is jaded. Green like jade.
I also always felt this line is him saying, stop rushing things, just let things happen at their own pace, things will be what they are meant to be in time, we have time (timing is another theme in his music “guess we’re in time” “one day” and gives a theme of two people never quite syncing up but almost getting there)
You bring blue lights to dreams
For me, blue is indigo the color of the soul, indigo the color of Scorpio and Pluto energy, blue ties to the throat chakra, this line feels to me very much like “it’ll all go away when it comes to you” blue is calming, but blue is also sad, his dreams are always tinged blue without his person, they bring a blue haze over his life, a sadness that doesn’t go away even when he reaches his dreams, even when he’s “9 in the morning, the man drops his kids off at school”
Harry had to stop worrying about where you are and who you go home to because he had to accept loving from a distance. This is the antidote he discovered back in Fine Line. Loving them, even if only in his internal gallery, is the antidote to his sadness without them. He keeps them out of the shade, out of the harsh darkness of the world, by holding them safely inside and close to his chest. You can love someone perhaps more when you aren’t with them. That seems odd but when you have no say or control in their life, you learn love as appreciation not ownership. And that’s his lesson. “Now I know what it’s like to love from the outside” What’s interesting is this duality throughout like the craving from harry to know them, to be close, to have something real, yet it’s all dreams and distance. Harry is looking for someone who understands closeness and distance in the way he does.
Starry haze, crystal ball
“There’s a haze on the horizon babe” this line is like him storytelling a bit, painting a picture of the energy he feels, it feels like a starry haze. I also deeply feel that Harry has consulted spirituality as a way to answer his questions about life and love, he’s confused and he went to a psychic, he’s searching for answers, trying to figure out how to get better, he’s saying everything feels cosmic with you
Throughout his songwriting Harry seems to express this feeling of fatedness of things needing to be the right time “the script was written” (something great) “I used the light to guide me home” So here I think he’s also invoking the idea of like he knows there’s something more powerful at play than just them two
Somehow, you've become some paranoia
Somehow indicates he’s not sure, but a paranoia is an obsession, this person, this thought, he’s paranoid about it, he feels delusional and “out of his head” The paranoia is the obsession with figuring out who they are and where they are.
Did you guys ever see that 365 movie on Netflix where like the guy is looking for this woman he saw and loved in a dream and he had someone paint her and he met the woman in real life? He kidnaps her and it’s not all healthy but like he does that thinking she would never be real. I think he maybe found her purposefully. Anyway… This gives me same vibes but not that crazy. I feel like Harry has dreamt of someone and he has the money to consult psychics to run face checks (yes I think he could be this obsessive, all that fixed Aquarius baby?) And finding them is this paranoia. He’s been everywhere and yet he can’t find his person and he’s frustrated. What else is he supposed to do “hit me with a real life and that’s when I’ll change” he values freedom and wants to respect theirs but also he feels like the timing is coming
A wet dream just dangling
A wet dream is generally a term for guys (although women too) ejaculating in their sleep. It isn’t always from a sex dream but it can be. Sex dreams can be wild yall. But yeah it’s dangling because he feels like they are there just waiting for him to grab them, dangling in front of him to keep him going, this thing always right out of reach, I think wet dream is him saying like a dream fantasy come to life but right now they’re dangling in the dream part
But your gift is wasted on me
Gift of what? I always read this as gift of love. He doesn’t feel deserving of love, which is something I’ve said before.
“You showed me a power that’s strong enough to bring light to the darkest of days” “you never told me who but you taught me how to love” this person showed him true unconditional love “you still open the door” and he feels undeserving.
I was thinkin' about who you are
“I don’t know who she is” “he’s thinking of you, like all of us do” Harry is always thinking thinking thinking and one thing he thinks about is who this person must be, this person he so deeply feels and yet is so distant from, how can he get to them?
Your delicate point of view, I was thinking about you
Delicate is how I would describe Matilda and Boyfriends and Make My Day, all such delicate songs. He feels like he wants to be gentle with this person, he’s afraid to hurt them. Him calling their view delicate is enough to indicate he understands a lot of nuance to what they feel “I know you’re scared because hearts get broken” Harry has been described as perceptive and intuitive, he understands how they must see him and his life “get the picture, cut out my middle”
I'm not worried about where you are
This is so interesting. Why is he worried? I think Harry is afraid this person may not wait for him, or will stop loving him and prove him right about love not being real. Or at least he used to be worried until he accepted himself and started to see all he brings to the table. Now he’s not worried, he trusts the connection because love is appreciation not ownership. What he wants his fans and media to understand and what he had to learn in regards to his person.
He was worried about where this person was. And presumably to a degree if they were physically safe as well based on some context with Matilda. He understands this persons heaviness, that they can hold space for his too “getting heavy, you know what it feels like”
Or who you will go home to, I'm just thinkin' about you, just thinkin' about you
Home is a big theme— obviously he means he’s worried or used to be worried about who they’re sleeping with “are you sleeping baby by yourself, or are you giving it to someone else?” “if you’re going out tonight then I’m going out tonight I know you’re persuasive”
Did you dress up for Halloween?
But now he’s thinking of them and others as a person, not just an idea or a wet dream. This is what the gift of love taught Harry. To see women as humans in a deeper way “you still open the door” We move from spiritual connection to a real world person that taught Harry part of this lesson, he doesn’t care about sex and the body he wants to talk to them, but this section is about the body and him seeing their body as something beyond sex
I spilt beer on your friend, I'm not sorry,
Now we have pieces of things he wants to tell this person. That’s the hard part about not talking or moving on, you still wanna tell them things
a golf swing and a trampoline, maybe we'll do this again
Playing, having fun, “I’ve never met someone who’s so perfect for me” he’s optimistic about a new person to me here (like early conversing, early dating—maybe we’ll hang out again) and also at the same time showcasing reaching out to a past person, it’s kinda beautiful the mirroring (which is his point, it’s all the same)
Tracksuit and a ponytail, you hide the body all that yoga gave you
He’s careful not to objectify them and look at their body through its abilities and what it does for them, not his sexual pleasure or gaze which shows amazing internal work to me. After Kendrick’s last album can’t wait to see how Harry’s inspired and what he may finally write about. This line is also about body. He notices their body and respects it.
Red wine and a ginger ale
Grapejuice! Red wine is a theme as well for Harry. “It’s not a stain of red wine, I’m bleeding love” I think Harry hints at using drugs and sex and alcohol (also obviously tattooing) to handle the pressure of his early intense fame. He “pays for it more than he did back then.” He’s trying to temper the wine now, he’s older now
But you would make fun of me, for sure
It could be light teasing or this past person he’s reflecting on may also be someone who made him feel like he was bad or not good enough because he couldn’t give what they needed or wanted “I gotta get better” for example. HS1 hints at a toxic relationship so maybe it’s light hearted or maybe they always pointed out Harry being different. He doesn’t drink a lot at times. He goes through periods. Maybe they were teasing him for being sober and they like to party and he’s outgrowing that part of life.
I disrespected you, Jumped in feet first, and I landed too hard, A broken ankle, karma rules, You never saw my birthmark
This is to many people and echoes a sentiment in boyfriends, I think it’s to specific past people who he’s apologizing for giving immature love to. He didn’t realize he was over promising, it’s also an apology to his person/sm for disrespecting them in the sense of how he let his life be played out in the media, I think he’s aware how he’s painted and he does worry it will affect their view of him “I hope you don’t run from me” “your a dirty little monster” he sees himself like this, he landed too hard into fame and disrespected people by how he coped. And he’s reflecting now how it kept them from really seeing him clearly, and a part of him wishes he had shown his vulnerabilities, his birth mark, his “scars even though they can’t always be seen”
So yes this song to me is sort of like an apology to the women in Harry’s heart, the ex he hurt deeply and that changed him, his sm he yearns to meet and holds deeply within, women he had flings with and didn’t give much to, etc.
Why did he choose little freak for the title? Harry likes to pick interesting song titles like if I could fly, and like that song, this song is named for the first line. Because his songs are letters to someone he can’t speak to directly. Think of it as
Little Freak,
You have thinking in the chorus—mind, you have crystal ball in the beginning—soul, you have body and yoga in the second verse—body; and you have a realization of the connection of mind (I disrespected you) body (jumped in feet first and I landed too hard, a broken ankle) and soul (karma rules) for a whole picture of intimacy “you never saw my birthmark”
This whole album to me was Harry reflecting back on his career to that point and his growth and lessons and letting go. This song shows what he’s learned about love as appreciation as the overarching theme of the song and album.
 I was wondering if you could possibly do lyric analysis, for if I could fly and walking in the wind eventually. Whenever you have the time and energy. 
Now’s the perfect time for me to get to this even though you sent this however many moons ago. Hello. I will do if I could fly!
If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you
“If I were a bluebird, I would fly to ya” (daylight) “so you wait for me in the sky” (golden) in a lot of his songs there’s this battle between leaving and staying, wanting to be gone and home “two weeks and I’ll be home, carry the feeling, through Paris all through Rome” (Canyon Moon), we even see in his video for Daylight that he tries to be a bird but it doesn’t work, there is a sentiment of wishing things could be different but they can’t be, and here we have again, he can’t fly because he’s human
I think I might give up everything, Just ask me to
He’s not sure but he thinks he’d give up everything if they’d just ask him to, what is everything? Fame, success, music “my eyes want you more than a melody” (sv6) money, women?
Pay attention, I hope that you listen
“I told you but I know you never listen” (woman) “you never listen, I hope you’re missing me by now” (daylight) “open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see” (only angel) throughout his writing there is a theme of him trying to express his love but this person not hearing him for some reason, not getting it, so the pay attention part is him wanting them to listen closely
'Cause I let my guard down, Right now, I'm completely defenseless
Harry is fearful of being vulnerable “I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken” (golden) and also scared to be alone, he’s telling this person that this song is him being defenseless for them in the only way he can, but he will only let his defenses down for them, which is what he really wants them to see—this song for the gesture it is
For your eyes only, I show you my heart
This person is the only one he shows his heart to, maybe because they are the only one who can truly see him clearly, but he also doesn’t think in many ways that they do see him clearly, he hopes by showing his heart to them they will see him clearly, I also hear this as he is setting this person apart as special, your eyes only, only you do I show my heart to, that’s what makes you different to me
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
“I don’t want you to get lost” (MFASR) “I can see you’re lonely down there, don’t you know that I am right here” (satellite) “You say we’ll be together even when you’re lost” (something great) I also hear this line as this person easily forgets who they are to him, he wrote them a love song for when they forget what they mean to him, because he can’t fly, they aren’t together, they don’t pay attention sometimes and can’t see his heart (at least he feels/fears they don’t) so he hopes this song will do as a reminder
I'm missing half of me when we're apart / Now you know me, for your eyes only / For your eyes only
For some reason he wants to make sure this person understands and knows him “you never saw my birth mark” (little freak) because he feels he came across wrong “I was just tongue tied” (sv6) and it’s interesting because he has many songs about yearning to know someone and be known in return, these common themes repeat throughout later songs as shown through out the analysis when I allude to future songs, for some reason he and this person cannot communicate clearly and he is worried they don’t know he loves them
I've got scars, Even though they can't always be seen
This person doesn’t understand Harry’s pain and he continually tries to explain it throughout his music… what are these scars that can’t be seen (he thinks can’t be seen?) — deep down he doesn’t feel good enough, he’s worried no one will ever understand or love him, he chronically feels alone, he has intimacy issues, etc. The other scar is they can’t see how much he loves them and that wounds him.
Scars are also tattoos. I’ve always seen and understood Harry to have used tattoos to deal with the pressure of his life in one direction. I think he too learned the grounding of pain which is part of his love of fitness. It is grounding. He literally wears his pain in the open, as a singer and famous person we see all his pain in the open and yet still we don’t see his true pain. Or so he feels, and this person the song is for he feels definitely doesn’t see his pain.
And pain gets hard, But now you're here and I don't feel a thing
“Shadows come from the pain you’re running from” (WDBHG) “Matilda you talk of the pain like it’s all alright” (Matilda) “you’ve got the antidote” (daylight) “running with the thieves because you left me in the hallway” (mmith)
Harry uses sex and drugs to escape the pain of this deep emptiness and brokenness he feels that comes from his childhood. He also uses love or relationships to escape the pain of his chronic loneliness only it ultimately becomes amplified because he feels his pain and his experience aren’t seen which they aren’t because he’s so busy playing pretend that he never shows his true self. This person in this song momentarily eases his existential pain.
“Now you’re in my life” “come on jump out at me” there are themes of someone showing up randomly and him begging for someone to show up randomly, we also see this theme of coming in and out of connection in the as it was music video. It seems them showing is random.
I can feel your heart inside of mine, (I feel it, I feel it)
“two hearts in one home” harry feels deeply connected to this person, he uses very physical and vivid imagery to express the concept of feeling a deep soul connection to someone, he feels their heart beating within his own heart “i can feel you take control of who i am and all I’ve ever known”
I've been going out of my mind, (I feel it, I feel it)
“I’m out of my head” (golden) there are many themes of Harry expressing that falling in love to him feels like letting go of his autonomy of status as separate self and that makes him feel out of sorts or crazy which is part of why he pulls back
Know that I'm just wasting time, and I hope that you don't run from me
“Don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong” “I build a big house, say I’ll settle down”
Basically Harry knows that hes meant to be with someone and this in between “cut out my middle” is a waste of time but it’s important for him to have this time to grow and develop, he hopes this person will understand this about him and not run from him “they make me feel wanted make me come fast” I always took this line to be like he knows how he looks in the media as this fuck boy and he hopes his person will see past that to his core, see that he’s been in pain trying to figure out who he is and that it’s all illusions, all he really wants is to find love that lasts and a family that sticks together (he’s been saying this this whole time I swear yall lol)
Hii!!! I don't know if you are still doing readings. But I guess it's worth a try. So I am in this relationship, and oh my god, it is the most fulfilling relationship I have ever been to. He checked all the things I ever wanted in a guy. I will go beyond and say he is literally a man written by women. But the feelings I have for him.... I don't know, I don't love him. I so desperately want to love him and cherish him. I way he does. But somewhere in my heart... I don't know how to explain this. It still feels like something is missing. Can you please do a reading. This is the guy I want to be with in my life.
This is interesting. My first thought is, do you have a history of loving toxic people? You could not be feeling something toxic that you’re used to feeling and that could be the missing thing. Like if most partners have left you feeling anxious, you may have thought that was part of what love feels like. If this new man isn’t making you feel anxious, because he’s safe to attach to for example, then you may be feeling your lack of anxiety as something missing, a spark or something exciting missing.
If you think that’s the case, I think you should study your attachment style more and communicate this clearly with this man. Explain to him like you did to me, and tell him that you would like to have a healthy partnership but aren’t sure what that feels like or looks like. It’s important to communicate the areas we are working to improve and heal early on in a dynamic so that you can see ultimately if this is a person who will help us heal or harm us more. He sounds like he’d be understanding and willing to work through something like this.
So much of what we think love is, is not what it is at all. You may not love him the way he loves you, because your capacity for love is different from his, at this point in time. Especially if you’re on a healing journey. Maybe your capacity isn’t as deep because you have unhealed wounds.
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I still feel like this is something we should all examine. Respect your current feelings and if the person is doing it for you now, decide if you want to work on it or try with someone else but most importantly examine why this is happening.
I know you sent this months ago but, I’m getting to it now. Hope all is well with you and you’re doing okay with whatever is going on or went on with this person.
Can you please do a lyric analysis of make my day?
Yeah because this is one of the leaks that really hit me. The beginning guitar intro reminds me of this song
I love Ben Howard so much! Amazing artist. Hope Harry listens to him. Figure he has to of.
You don’t want to hear my tiny violin /You don’t wanna hear my explanation
“Get the picture, cut out my middle, you ain’t got time for me right now.” “You never listen” (daylight) etc. Harry feels chronically misunderstood and like no one understands him. There is a theme in his music of lack of communication or miscommunication when it exists. Again he’s saying you don’t really want to hear the truth because you think my issues are minuscule. Because of my position or how you see me, which is actually super fucking heartbreaking. I think this is to the general public. They hate hearing a hot rich white guy moan over love he can’t find, and he knows it.
They make me feel wanted, make me come fast / The hottest of fire’s still cold when it’s ash
“there’s never been someone who’s so perfect for me” “I’m so over whites and pinks” (Grapejuice) he’s explaining why he hasn’t found lasting love, because it always dies / fizzles out. He also has a bad habit of idealizing partners and then struggles when they aren’t perfect and he is aware of it. Hot and cold. Whore/madonna complex like I’ve written about. That’s why it fizzles out and comes in hot. It’s an illusion of intimacy “mouth full of toothpaste before I got to know you” (sv6) and love but not real love “maybe you don’t know what’s lost till you find it” (loml) and he knows that but feels he can’t find real love because he believes deep down he’s unlovable. Which is part of what he has been saying is he couldn’t really love this past person because he didn’t love himself. “I heard a little love is better than none.” (JALBOYH) He’s working on it in therapy.
I’m not sure who they is, maybe fans or people who idolize him, models, maybe even people he pays for sex which seems to be a theme in his music and he may feel more comfortable with paid sex since they tend to keep business private. It’s easy for him to compartmentalize sex away from love but he struggles to connect the two. But now he feels prepared for the whole thing. Like that one article talking about him settling down “Harry feels he’s lived ten lifetimes already” (ties to ten years in satellite mv). He’s done his heroes journey, his long quest of self discovery, and now like in all the epics, his true love comes to ride off into the sunset (end of daylight with the horse??) Harry is a lover of music but most importantly stories “raconteur” he tells stories. All the great love stories are journeys of the self first. I think turning 30 is a big deal to him because to him I think he sees it as time for this next phase to be ushered in. And all these underlying things are coming to the surface in this song.
[Pre-Chorus]
I make lots of money, build a big house / Put an extra sink in, say I’ll settle down
“Built you a house from a broken home” (WDBHG) He did all the things he was supposed to do to achieve manhood by societal standards, including fucked around (at least publicly), he knows he’s supposed to settle down now and he’s done all the things that should reward him with a family and kids and yet…
Friends call me a loner, I know they’re wrong
He feels like even his friends don’t fully grasp him and why he doesn’t just settle down when he has so many options “he takes a boat out, imagines just sailing away, and not telling his mates, wouldn’t know what to say” (she) I interpret this as my friends think I’m a loner, like I like to keep to myself but I know they’re wrong, I just haven’t found the one, someone right for me, even with them, my friends, I’m misunderstood. I’m not a loner I just don’t fit in with most people.
You can feel deeply and chronically alone even with friends and because you can be seen but not fully understood because people can only understand you to the level they understand themselves. I’ve always thought Harry is on a different wavelength or vibration and has a hard time connecting to many people and kind of has for most of his life. He tried all the stuff out when he was younger (partying and sex to fit in and deal with the pressure of fame, plus he was supposed to do that and enjoy his fame according to society) but found it unappealing and empty “chewed it up, spat it out” (TMS) and his whole life is being a mirage. It’s deeply painful to constantly be seen as this piece of yourself when you want to be loved for all you are. That’s why in part of me he says he would’ve given a past person everything and they have a piece of him. This is the first person he thinks saw him behind the mask he wears “I’ll always be a little in between” even if they didn’t fully get him, they understood this piece of him. The piece that pretends.
She asked me to choke her, I play along
“She sleeps in his bed, while he plays pretend” (which I always interpreted to mean he’s not really there mentally when he’s fucking other people and welll….. I feel like I was right after these song leaks) “choke her with a sea view” (keep driving) this whole song is him explaining the pretend part, he’s going through the motions of life but why he asks himself, if he doesn’t have a deep love, but maybe one day he will and the hope is enough, he plays along because at least he’s not alone. He plays into what people want him to be because it makes them happy and he figures why not. I’ll play along. Play as in not serious. “I don’t think I’ve ever publicly dated anyone” It’s a play, it’s acting “why does he keep doing PR relationships?” Why not when there’s nothing real for him anyway? Why change when it doesn’t change the outcome (he grapples with this in many songs as well, the inevitability of change and how it hurts even if you can see it coming and prepare.) Fire may be light but it’s not as powerful as the sun “so you wait for me in the sky…” (golden) “is it too much to ask for something great?” Maybe Harry, it’s been almost 13 years now.
[Chorus]
Hit me like a ray of light, straight to my veins
Again he doesn’t want a fire that turns to ash, he wants a ray of light, concentrated, powerful, strong, something that hits him like a drug to his veins (if you ever felt a shot go through your blood stream then you know what it feels like) “give me some morphine” (mmith) “you got the antidote“ (daylight) he has equated love to light and drugs many times lol, he wants something powerful like the sun, that takes control over him and changes him, he knows it will be night time some times but the sun always comes back and he wants love that always returns, “you got me cursing the daylight” seeing things clearly but also lights can blind you, he plays with light and dark as awareness and lack of awareness a lot “shine, step into the light”(lights up)
Hit me with a real life and that’s when I’ll change
I wish I could yell at him, “you have to change first” but maybe he’s learning/learned that. This was written years ago around 2022 I’ve read, which I believe because of his Coachella comments about coming fast… His life is pretend, he plays along even when he’s having sex, where he’s supposed to be real and nothing feels real so he keeps pursuing what makes him spark up or feel alive but it dies “keep it sweet in your memory” (sv6) because what makes him feel alive is fleeting instead of the hardness of reality, which he equates with stress and wants to transcend or dissociate from. He wants to do the hard lasting love like he sees his friends have with someone but can’t find the right person. He’s “spinning out waiting for ya” (satellite) looping and looping round and round which is why he’s frustrated and writing this song again “should we just keep driving” “it’s not the same as it was” he wants off the loop now. I see this as a song to the universe being like wtf, you want me to change, stop sending me bullshit and then I can. Lol. I’ve said that to them many times.
If the grass isn’t greener, if the song’s out of tune
The grass isn’t greener is specifically used colloquially with looking outside your relationship for fulfillment. The grass is green where you water it. Again he doesn’t understand, he tried to water the grass where he was “seems you cannot be replaced and I’m the one who will stay” he fucked around and found out it’s not greener “wherever you go there you are”
I hear this in his overthinking mind as like if then statements happening. He tried the other grass and it isn’t greener so if it isn’t greener over there then I must need to go home and water my grass. He’s rationalizing if things aren’t ever gonna be better anywhere else, if I can’t write music or ever get the song in tune, none of that will matter with you, because what I want with you is forever. Being with you is enough to weather the bull shit in life like the stress of not figuring out the right notes for the song, or an occasional thought or wandering eye. He had his “this is it” moment where he realized there’s no where else to go or be (Harry’s House and the pandemic made him sit with this) and if that’s the case, then all I want is you. I tried out all the things that were supposed to bring me joy and I still want you.
It’ll all go away whеn it comes to you
All these worries he has about love dying, him not being anything more than his music, it will in the future go away when it comes to them, the one person who will understand him. One day. “One day you’ll come into my world and say it all” (something great)
[Verse 2]
You won’t have the answеrs to all my questions
Now he’s showing them he knows what reality looks like, he’s not just idealizing love anymore, he’s ready for the real thing, he knows his anxieties and need for assurance may not always be what his person can give him
I’ll piss you off, won’t learn my lesson
He knows he’s not perfect and has flaws that will upset them, he’s gonna make mistakes, he’s accepted he also can’t be a perfect partner and that’s not the point of partnership.
I don’t want you perfect, Don’t want too sweet
Now again, he reassures this person he wants them for all they are just as they are “come on jump out at me, come on being everything” (SG) “it’s cuz I love you babe, in every kind of way” (MFASR) “she’s hard candy dripping on me til my feet are wet” (kiwi) He doesn’t want sugary sweet fake love, real love is full bodied and bitter and takes time to mature like 1982 wine a la Grapejuice.
But you’ll make my day and make my whole week
In the future, when I find this, just having you around “what if you’re someone I just want around” (falling) is enough. With the right person it’s enough. This is what I want. Someone who can be around “it’s unfortunate, just coordinates.” (Loml) I don’t need a perfect person, just someone who gets me and can be with me.
To me, Harry seems to be always rewriting songs. Like maybe this song strikes me so much because it’s a more matured take of She which is more matured Something Great. Like he is growing in life and approaching the same material but differently each time which is kind of fascinating and I’m not sure how aware he is he does this. But like this whole career he’s been asking for the same things and all around him life changes and he grows and he lives and plays pretend and still this same desire of wanting to find someone who will be there no matter what, who sees him clearly persists.
In Something Great, we have a young 18/19 year old Harry asking the universe is it too much to ask for a great love, the truly lasting one he’s been imagining, where he begs the right person to just come forward and none of the other stuff will matter. In She, we have a 24/25 year old Harry painting the image that as he goes about his life, there is the presence of the absence of a partner that he daydreams about being with but he doesn’t know who she is or where she is, but that this daydream with them feels more real than his day to day life where he plays pretend, even with real life partners. In Make My Day we have 27/28 year old Harry explaining that yes he has money and a big house and lots of flames but nothing lasts because all he wants is someone he can have a real life with and he can’t find someone who speaks deeply to his soul this way…so he keeps just going along hoping something strikes him like lightning… someone who hits his veins like a ray of light. But now he’s older and frustrated thinking he’d have broken the cycle and found them by now.
He may have stepped into the light of love “I’m not ever going back” through experiencing being loved “you never told me who to love but you showed me how” he even thinks he’s felt the light of love with other flames, but they are not the sun that was “way too bright for me” and burned him. He doesn’t need the full sun, just a ray. He’s learning love isn’t possession but expansion. He doesn’t want someone’s full love (the whole sun) just a ray for him. He sees love more in a balanced and healthy way and this is his cry to the void again for the right person to show up. See I earned my love! I did my work. Part of healing is creating more space inside you to hold more love so you can give more love.
This song is him saying give me something real and more than daydreams, I want reality which is another theme I talk about in sunflower v 6 “my eyes want you more than a melody” he wants a hit to his “veins” he wants something in the physical. The same yearning he’s had this whole time. Maybe it’s not a soulmate he’s yearning for but like… idk man. Dream woman strikes again lol.
I have my Chiron (astrological element that indicates where there is a strong chance to heal wounds in this life) in 11th house Virgo and throughout my life I have had wounding around community and group belonging. When I moved to Hawai’i, this changed. It’s a cliche here that people move here and feel at home and part of community, but it truly does feel that way to me. Over the past few months, I have been going through relationship boot camp, learning basic relating skills and what friendship and showing up consistently looks like. I have healthier friends now and it’s requiring me to confront my lack of capacity for relationships, teaching me how to grow and expand and allow myself to care deeply about more people, to allow others to care and know me. It’s challenging at times trusting and confronting how I am perpetuating my own separateness and I have to fight through discomfort to reach the intimacy I want.
Lately I’ve been reflecting on belonging as it was always something I’ve craved. I feel I have it now but it still feels like it’s illusive and I’m reflecting on why that is.
Where does the feeling of not belonging come from?
Part of my lack of belonging is rooted in my inability to actually ground myself fully in the present, to take up space, to bring energy to the table and to connect. It takes energy to be present and I found myself being on my phone when I was with my friends. I’d crave having people around to be around them and checked out.
Why? Socializing feels very intense and scary to me because of these feelings I carry about not belonging. Every time I felt slightly awkward or rejected I retreated to the comfort and acceptance of my phone instead of sitting with the reality of relating (it is a weaving not a continuous stream). My friends weren’t rejecting me when they don’t respond. I only felt that because I already felt a lack of belonging inside. No one can make you feel what you don’t already have within you. Because in more confident moments when I do feel I belong, I see it for what it is. Just a moment in conversation.
Belonging and Enmeshment
I’m starting to reflect on what parts of me are parts I’m meant to save for myself and parts I can safely share with others. Because those pauses don’t always show rejection— they may show where I should create a boundary. When you grow up enmeshed you think people need to know everything, that everyone can and should be able to be everything to you. As you heal and understand capacity you learn that you can get your needs met with more people and that you don’t always need them met so deeply. You only craved that deepness to that level because you were taught to give everything of yourself. That is where the loop began. Your parents learned that same suffering. You were never meant to give everything to anyone. So when people didn’t toxically give all of themselves to you, you didn’t see it as them showing you boundaries you needed for yourself, you saw it as a rejection of your desire for closeness. You saw it as unequal give and take. You wondered why can’t they get as deep and close as I can, not why do I feel I have to get so deep to be loved, why do I feel I have to get so deep to feel safe. You didn’t see their ability to meter out intimacy so it can grow healthily as a strength, but as a painful proof that there were never seeds to begin with. What I’ve learned here is that so many of us mourn illusions we hold because we live in a world of mirrors. To be within a group and feel alone, it’s not because you are depressed and fucked up, it’s not because the group doesn’t like you or want you there unless they specifically said so, often it is because you are still learning the lines between self and other, and that’s okay. To feel alone can feel safe because you feel like a self, to feel fully one with a group can be scary and you can become lost to group think. There’s a balance. Isolation to stay a self and enmeshment to belong are two halves of the same coin, a lack of boundaries surrounding what makes you a separate self. Those boundaries are made of core beliefs, things you’ve made for yourself and grown for yourself. When you’re young you lack boundaries so often because your walls are so short you can’t see them. There’s still so much your building for yourself you can’t even see the reason to protect it. Can’t even see it’s worth yet.
Misdirection
What I’ve also realized is that the concept of belonging is misleading. Belonging doesn’t exist without “I”. Belonging refers to the container of connection and energy that comes about when many loved ones are gathered together. If you are somewhere it is because you belong there and you belong there until you feel it is time to leave. My friends here, island living has shown me this. When the group dissipates, that connection dissipates, because belonging is a feeling that the group creates together. Connecting isn’t effortless, it takes showing up. We act as if connecting should always be effortless but to connect deeply is effort. I’ve had beautiful camping experiences but they didnt miraculously happen. Each of us brought something to make the party memorable even if it ended up just being ourselves. To be inside of a group and feel you don’t belong is an illusion of separation.
My one friend will always ask “feeling the pull?” When we’re both kinda feeling like it’s time to leave somewhere and I love that idea. It’s not leaving as much as being pulled somewhere else. Leaving isn’t as much about not wanting to be somewhere as much as it’s about wanting to be somewhere else more or being needed somewhere else. Life is all about preferences and choices and none of it is personal. It’s taken me a long time to feel these things and understand these things.
Things only exist because they exist
The energy of feeling a lack of belonging within a group only exists because someone feels a lack of belonging. That’s what people mean by your energy creates your reality. I live in a magical place and have the privilege to see these things so clearly because I’m around highly sensitive people all the time and I can watch them react to energy. When you feel you don’t belong people pick up on that. They don’t “avoid” you because of it, they give you space because they know it’s intuitively part of your process and job to know you already belong and they are there waiting for you to join in with them. Your feeling of lack of belonging is your emotion to manage. They are allowing you to see where you are blocking your own self from fully showing up with them. This space to reflect is actually a gift and not a rejection. The idea of gate keeping doesn’t actually exist. That’s why I’ve been in “dangerous” places and been fine. I belonged there and no one messed with me. Why? Because I brought the energy of belonging with me
What we mistake as our own lack of belonging is really just the collective pieces of energy from each person in that group. Our rejected, lower vibrational things that we work to clear out come to groups with us. We come together to clear our collective wounds, we all bring it and lay it down and what you feel not belonging isn’t you, but the pieces of all of us we’ve outgrown. They don’t belong anymore which is why you feel relieved and good a lot of the times after you let loose with friends.
How could you ever need to belong when we are all one? To be is to be a part of
So normally I’m not one to do this, but this person found me on instagram and contacted me directly for help, has sent photos of them in Rafah, has sent voice notes of sounds of air raids, and I chose to send money. Maybe you cannot send money, but you can share this gofundme. Direct financial support is the best we can do to help. We saw this with Lahaina, where an instagram Venmo account was set up to highlight the families who needed direct money. I hope someone does this for Gaza, can help us send direct money. I hope you’ll help Shahed’s family. I have spoken with her directly and she wants to become a surgeon when the war is over. I pray she can because Gaza will need her.
Hello, my name is Maryam, and I am raising funds for my dear … Maryam Rahmani needs your support for Help a Family in Rafah, Gaza
Just know, we could have that perfect world that you are too scared to dream about. We could have already had it a million times over if not for the greed and hate of european empire. Know that.
Free your mind. Stop seeing capitalism as the best economic system we have and view it as an opportunity for us to create something better. Stop seeing imperialism as normal human behavior and see it as a small group of cold white people who fought for resources in arctic temperatures using their brutality to spread that mindset throughout the world, and we were forced to comply. Hawaii was always abundant, warmer places were abundant. The cold of the Anglo Saxons wasn’t. Their idea of the world was always skewed and we can change that. We have more knowledge now than ever and that’s why so many of us can see clearly. Israel cannot lie when we watch their war crimes with our own eyes.
So normally I’m not one to do this, but this person found me on instagram and contacted me directly for help, has sent photos of them in Rafah, has sent voice notes of sounds of air raids, and I chose to send money. Maybe you cannot send money, but you can share this gofundme. Direct financial support is the best we can do to help. We saw this with Lahaina, where an instagram Venmo account was set up to highlight the families who needed direct money. I hope someone does this for Gaza, can help us send direct money. I hope you’ll help Shahed’s family. I have spoken with her directly and she wants to become a surgeon when the war is over. I pray she can because Gaza will need her.
Hello, my name is Maryam, and I am raising funds for my dear … Maryam Rahmani needs your support for Help a Family in Rafah, Gaza
