Marcus Wainwright was a famous man by all accounts. You could go to anywhere on the dirt planet Earth, from USA to the Indian Ocean, and ask any man, woman, child, or most dogs, and they would recognize this man. From a Finnish construction worker to an Argentine hairdresser, they would all know about, and love Marcus. The Tibetan Monks knew about Marcus. Ironically, the only people who didn’t love Marcus were the Tibetan monks. Really, monks of any sort despised Marcus Wainwright, but the Tibetan monks especially.
This is because Marcus Wainwright’s claim to fame is that he is the first man to achieve Enlightenment beyond any reasonable doubt. Of course, such a claim had to be verified by nearly every professional who knew anything about the field. The Tibetan monks were consulted, and without much opposition, they begrudgingly agreed that Marcus had broken the cycle of reincarnation and achieved the lifelong quest for Nirvana. Later, they played a game of golf and a few of them finally got Facebook. When the Dalai Lama was asked why, he replied “some of them are trying to replicate Wainwright’s success. But I think a few of them have just given up.”
Marcus has been interviewed nearly every day for the past year. Either because there’s so much to learn about Enlightenment and it’s so applicable to everyone’s life—or people just like hearing the same story over and over again. There have been plays, books, and films already produced about the event that happened mere months ago. World leaders have declared the day, a dreary Tuesday afternoon in March, an international holiday. When Marcus was asked about how he had done it, he had replied “Well, I just started thinking about peaches. Pretty soon they became pretty frivolous. Then, I started thinking about how many peach things and peach-flavoured things there in the world. Pretty soon the world became pretty frivolous. Then, I thought about the universe as one giant peach. I thought of myself as James, on top of that peach. Pretty soon the universe became pretty frivolous.”
What really got the monks ticked off was that Marcus had been in training for only a day. While they recognize the whole purpose of Enlightenment is that it can happen at any time, upon his announcement they could be heard grumbling “but it should take you a couple years of eating vegan every day, at least.”
Another thing that made many monks unhappy was Marcus’ decision to return to Earth. Some of them smirked that he “wasn’t ready,” but Marcus holds fast to his reasoning. Marcus rejected Nirvana and the other world, he says, because now that he’s been, Nirvana doesn’t seem like all that much to him, and he can see himself being a really big fan of peaches.
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