I think the scariest thing about art is the fact that some people won't understand what you're conveying. I have come to terms with this to a certain degree, that different people will pull different things from a work, but there is something difficult about trying to convey a raw feeling you have and knowing some people will simply not understand.
I work in a warehouse, on the night shift, and in the warehouse, there's some small square windows, about twenty feet up. For most of my shift, they're nothing more than black glass. But, in the summer, when the sun rises, they're little glimpses of a beautiful and colorful sky. It's a square of pinks and oranges the shades of sherbet, and I often wish my phone was capable of taking a photo high-quality enough to forever hold on to this little moment. More than that, I wished I could share that photo, and convey all the feelings I feel to another with just that photo.
I know what the easy on-the-surface reading of that image would be, however. It's the beautiful morning sky being seen through a small window, with plaster white walls and florescent lights between the photographer and that window. For most, such a sight is a lamentation of the trappings of capitalism and blue collar work, and I can understand that interpretation, but it isn't mine.
For me, that sight in the window is a sign that a hard day's work, a day at work I can be proud of, is almost over, and when I go outside I will be rewarded with the luxury of a warm summer morning. That sight is a reminder of the innate beauty of the world, and my late-to-rise self gets to see it because of my job. It's a reminder that glimpses of beauty can be found everywhere.
I'm lucky enough to be a writer, and as such, I at least get to use words to try and communicate such feelings outright, but I know that even words can fail. I'm sure that, even in this post, I haven't done a sufficient job in the wrenching out all the feelings in my chest to the point where you understand.
But the endless pursuit will continue, until I've fully accepted the futility in the matter, and simply stop caring.
