"I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?"
I figured I'd make a post with all the resources/tips I've collected to help people get out of shitty situations so far, since it's easier than linking to a bunch of posts each time.
Seek out appropriate resources. This can include support groups (online or offline), helplines, and the like.
If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.
Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.
The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.
If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.
If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.
You might also Duckduckgo something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".
Ask people for help in finding resources. If you can't find anything on your own, there are other people who know where to direct you. It might take awhile to find what you're looking for, but keep asking.
A WORD OF CAUTION: there are many predatory spiritual groups and conspiracy theorists out there who prey on abuse survivors and mentally ill people. You will often see these people claiming that channeling or hypnosis can help you remember past life memories or repressed traumatic memories. This is nonsense and quackery.
Hypnosis is unreliable for memory recovery, and this is one way we know.
False past life memories among the starseed movement
Here’s the trouble with hypnotic regression…
If you're on a website that claims to support cult survivors and you see any of these names in the citations (and make sure you check the citations!), leave immediately - all of these people are far right conspiracy theorists. (Unfortunately, many people today are unwittingly perpetuating the BS of Fritz Springmeier in particular. See this and this for more info on that.)
Change who and what you surround yourself with. Start associating with different people/groups as much as you can. Get hobbies to fill your time. Unfollow blogs that reinforce the beliefs you're trying to get away from, and follow blogs that provide a healthier alternative.
You might follow blogs like:
Trauma Survivors Helping Trauma Survivors
Trauma Survivors Activities
If you're trying to rebuild your worldview without conspiratorial/culty elements, go take a look at my Resources page.
Remember that your first job is looking after yourself. You don't owe the group. You aren't responsible for the group, or for anyone in it. It might feel that way, but it's vitally important to acknowledge when you're unqualified or suffering burnout. You might feel like bad things will happen if you leave, but that's a fear, not a fact.
You also don't have to justify your departure to the group. You can just leave. If you feel that you must give a reason, you can offer something as simple as "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm really busy lately and don't have time to spend here." If they throw a fit over this, that's honestly just more proof that you need to get out.
If any practices the group taught you actually helped, you can keep doing them. If doing affirmations helped you, keep doing affirmations. If listening to so-called healing frequencies actually made you feel better, you don't have to stop listening to them. If you were practicing something like the Law of Assumption, you can carry on with a lot of that under a psychological model rather than Neville Goddard's wacky metaphysical model. (See this video for an example.) If it genuinely helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, by all means, keep doing it.
Get some critical thinking skills. In order to keep yourself from falling into another bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills.
Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.
Learn common logical fallacies.
Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.
Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.
Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.
Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.
Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.
Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.
Learn how propaganda works.
Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.
And watch out for this red flag.
Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.
So yeah, hopefully this'll give folks some actionable advice. I can't promise it's going to help each and every person out there, but hopefully it'll give a lot of you something that will help.
