Crunch And Munch

Trash

[plastidecor]

pregnant guinea pigs

[libraryfacts-blog]

Yeah so I just adopted two guinea pigs and one way be pregnant and this has confirmed my suspicions that she is. This thiccy better not have more than one pup.

[libraryfacts-blog]

Lol she’s just fat dumbo

[plastidecor]

pregnant guinea pigs

[libraryfacts-blog]

Yeah so I just adopted two guinea pigs and one way be pregnant and this has confirmed my suspicions that she is. This thiccy better not have more than one pup.

[tlbodine]

Run, run, run, as fast as you can.

You can’t get away from the Florida Man. 

[libraryfacts-blog]

Breaking news. One Florida man has stolen another’s anus.

[just-high-school-things]

our first day of school is on Tuesday and the administration made a new policy where we aren’t allowed to have ANY bags in class (backpacks, purses etc) and we have to leave our phones in our (mandatory) lockers.

like how the hell am I supposed to carry all my books everywhere AND my laptop AND a pencil bag AND my notebooks with no backpack

how are people supposed to have access to pads/tampons if we aren’t allowed bags

and I’m sure as hell not leaving my phone unattended in a locker like do you know how fuckin easy those things are to break into

[libraryfacts-blog]

Damn. In my old school we had to leave all our phones in an unlocked basket. It was the same for all classrooms and they were in the same place. It’s like they wanted our phones to get stolen

[libraryfacts-blog]

Imagine hearing the word rabies and getting a boner like “hmmm yes sinful rabies lord suck this foaming infected dick of mine” and running up to a damn raccoon like that’s all I imagine when I hear rabies

[fake-true-shit]

Thanks to tumblr every time i hear 'good news' that idc about, in my mind i automatically sarcastically say 'good for her' and this image pops into my head!

[libraryfacts-blog]

At this point in my life everytime someone tells me that something’s unpleasant I say “that’s amazing for you” and immediately feel bad. It’s like crack

[libraryfacts-blog]

Pickup line #1

Baby I’m like that horse at chunky cheese.

I’ll rock you hard and leave you unsatisfied

[libraryfacts-blog]

Hey guys look it’s terry the platypus

[libraryfacts-blog]

I really thought anime was sin until the age of 11

[libraryfacts-blog]

It’s no secret I once accidentally turned a blender on while the spoon was inside, broke the blender, then almost ate the glass mixture it had produced.

[libraryfacts-blog]

Anyways I found out a bunch of the kids at my old schools parents are anti vax so I believe next year that hell hole will be quarantined because everyone inside it will have polio

[libraryfacts-blog]

Don’t you ever say Obama wasn’t gay

- I don’t remember her name we haven’t talked in years

[memes-to-show-my-therapist]

[libraryfacts-blog]

How to get your local Starbucks shut down

Okay so I’ve come up with a plan that I promise I won’t carry out but involves sperm and a willing employing who has a need for bread.

[libraryfacts-blog]

It’s all fun and games until someone says gotcha before dad says uno.

[libraryfacts-blog]

Lol I literally have a project due on the first day of school and I’m still sitting here just planning out my New Guinea pigs cage

[libraryfacts-blog]

Top ten ways to confuse your nephew

“ If you didn’t know the Apple is a grape and the banana is a bean”

“What do you mean you’re three? Oh right you keep forgetting the coma”

“Here ask your mom if you can watch Texas chainsaw massacre”

“Okay so repeat after me, tu mon Cher es comme un petit chien”

*slowly hands over Minecraft sword* “now don’t hit me with it or I’ll steal them toes”

“Clean up the toys, oh your legs don’t work? Guess I’ll take your kneecaps”

“Okay stuff your face in the birthday cake”

Teach him to take selfies and use filters, it’s wonderful.

When he won’t eat his food threaten to munch a crunch it

Basically if he miss behaves jokingly threaten him in a playful way “I know where you live” for example works great