The Ramblings

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #20

live until you are full

tears pour out of you, so done with living that there is nothing left for you to do

live until the stars are sick of your presence

so fed up, they want to get rid off your sparkle

live until you have found love

your bodies molded to each other, two puzzle pieces you just click

jagged edges bind to create the softest joy

live until you feel happy

when each day is just as good as the last, the best it will ever be

live until your heart has skipped a beat

no feeling is as complete as knowing what happens when you cease

live until you have heard music played so loud it reverberates in your body

your bones vibrate, the rise and fall of your body matching the beat

live until you've been alone

outside in the world with nothing but your thoughts racing through your head

live until the seams on your pants are worn down

soft from the friction of your hands running up and down them in moments of nervousness

live until you have done something that scares you

it makes your hands clammy and mouth dry

your heart drop down to your stomach or up in your throat

live until you've made someone smile

in a moment when they are unaware and you see their lips turn upwards

live until you have fallen down

when your limbs fail you and in that moment you realise you can't rely on yourself

live until you have been outside in nature

hands running through the rich soil feeling the potential for life

the rise and fall of the earths chest

and if you want

live a little more

or a little less

find life within you

embrace it as you understand

life is a gift granted to all and only you can give yours any meaning

make it worth everything

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #19

like an overflowing cup

it pours out of me

out of every pore

it seeps

searching for someone

anyone

to have it

keep it

make it their own

all I want

all I need

is somewhere safe for it to go

someone to keep it for me

to cherish it

I don't need their's back

it would be nice of course

but I have so much

I want to know that it'll be safe

sound

warm

in its new home

not exploited and wasted

not abused and neglected

an owner who will care for it

someone I need not know

my family takes some of it

and gives me some right back

my friends are given some too

though they may not know what to do

it twists and it turns

digging barbs deep in my skin

each breath it takes away

is a space that it can fill

it leaves a trail everywhere I step

and though not understood by many

my love is here,

a plenty

[liescanberight-blog]

Poetry Prompt: Playground at Night

creaking swings sway in the wind

no storm can erase

what the looming trees have seen

countless fights

countless punches

no rain could wash away

the traces of deceit

lies woven so softly

by traitors incomplete

empty promises hang

on noses far too long

girls stitch up their problems

no questions

it’s all unknown

boys climb the stairs

rising higher and higher

but the end is only the beginning

of their fall from grace and poise

they all slide down

twisting and turning through the foggy haze

no screams can be heard

for they have already lost

their stature is too large

too many years have they lived on earth

to have fun like a child

only those recently birthed

can live carefree

and happy

not a care in the world

the others must sneak around

enjoy the playground at night

for no one can see them

in this state of delight

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #3

People fear falling

tumbling off a building

a cliff

some people fear smaller heights

six feet is enough to make them quake

i fear not falling

the worst thing,

at least for me,

would be to never fall in love

every cell in my body yearns

craves

needs

what i read about

watch in movies

but do i want something i can never have?

not having that bliss

that overwhelming sense of being

that connection

would make me feel broken

i know i wouldn’t be

but something inside would feel wrong

it pulls me this way and that

and i just hope

that one day

i’ll find someone to fall with

not off a cliff

not six feet under

just fall

together in love

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #5

People often ask 'what advice would you give to your younger self?"

My younger self is 12

She is small

but not as small as others

tall

but not as tall as others

She has all the worries of others

And many many more

My present self is 15

I am small

but not as small as others

tall

but not as tall as others

I have all the worries of others

and then some

I have lived more than my younger self

Experienced more

Learnt more

The words I would give her

Well

I would like to tell her not to worry what others think

what others like

I would like to ask her to try new things

learn what she likes

and what she doesn't

who she wants in her life

and who she doesn't

I would like to tell her to brush her teeth everyday

listen to her mother

Get 8 hours of sleep

There are so many things I would like to tell her

But

My mouth will open and nothing will come out

For without the advice I became the person I am today

Not perfect

Not even close

But she’s me

absolutely

utterly

me

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #6

sometimes I think about the end

of a song

of a day

a week

I count down until it's over

we all do

3

2

1

happy new year

not many count to their end

and even fewer greet it with a smile

those who do

well

they know that this is it

they are insignificant

the inevitable has come for them

and they aren't scared

for what may seem so important for one person

is nothing for the universe

we are each just raindrops on the windscreen of life

present but just one of many

the world will still turn

like a disc it spins unperturbed by our ends

what happens beyond death is a mystery

but hope that when the end comes

your lips will turn upwards

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #7

they say all matter comes in four states

solid

liquid

gas

plasma

i think

people come in states too

you have the solids

so sure of themselves

steady

grounded

confident

you have the gases

never content to stay put

spreading out

occupying the whole room

I’m a liquid

fluid

changing depending on surroundings

finally there’s plasma

people few and far between

can’t be contained

electric with energy

come and go like lightning

sweep into your life

and leave without a visible trace

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #8

somethings are like math

simple answers

clear and precise

a right and a wrong

there is a formula

a way to get from a to b

but reality is not

it wriggles and writhes

the truth can be wrong

and the lies can be right

how do we separate the two?

how do we separate me from you?

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #9

what if i was meant for great things?

if i was supposed to cure cancer

cause world peace

stop global warming

and all that stopped me was myself

my fear

my cowardice

my hesitation

I’d be a murderer

a villain

but then again maybe that’s how it plays out

i become the villain

only for some hero to defeat me

they cure cancer

cause world peace

stop global warming

then am I the true hero or has fate played us all

like pawns on a chessboard we wait

does every choice we make change our fate

or will every road lead to the same path

and every decision is simply a detour

inevitably leading to the same thing

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #12

look

I'm not one for love

well maybe I am

but not one for real love

I'm one for the love trapped between pages

hidden behind my screen

not the dirty ugly love

that creeps up from underneath

but somehow it happened

like it does to everyone

and as I lay

hot tears streaming down my face

I thought of you

and tears became stains

so easily removed

you became something

always on my mind

you flirted in and out of my forests of thought

always there

but hidden

somewhere in the shadows

did I love you?

do I love you?

will I love you?

I hope to know

what does love feel like?

she asks to the world

it's cold

and it's warm

it's what lightens the dark

it's a spark in the hay

a mere pearl in the sea

it's endless

it's short

and it's found with a he

the world told her many things

she would not believe

the shining armour she wore

lost all of its gleam

she started a journey

and with miles ahead

she stopped and she waited

for someone instead

she waited for minutes, for hours, for days

but alas her poor prince came not through the haze

when the spark in the hay had all gone away

she walked and she saw

saw what awaits

a princess so fair, her words turned to gold

or a knight with her sword, stories she told

either way she felt right at home

not with him

but with her

and that's how

how her story unfolds

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #14

I fall so often

clumsy limbs

can't keep me upright

but also

I don't fall enough

never been in love

never had a crush

well I don't think so

what is a crush

it sounds so painful

like a bug under a shoe

something crumbling in a giant fist

I don't want that

but maybe I do

everyone has them

am I broken?

am I 'too young’?

have I not lived enough?

a crush could never be as painful

as watching yourself walk away

from all you have known

empty promises of 'we'll talk'

hang heavy in the air

we all nod

lying to ourselves is an age old game

we are masters

always winning

but always losing

so yeah I've been crushed

and maybe that's all I get

no love for me

I don’t deserve it

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #15

my face flushes red

is it your gaze

or the sun instead

I don't know which would be worse

the sun could give me disease

riddle my skin with wrinkles or freckles

your gaze can do worse things

deep within me

make my insides twist and turn

your gaze could end it all

well at least could your words

[liescanberight-blog]

Rant #16

I live out of a suitcase

whenever I go on a trip

I never take things out

'I might leave again' quick

my clothes in compartments

never seeing the sun

and my closet is empty

nothing permanent is hung

my life is a suitcase

all locked up and shut

I don't dare to leave it open

'someone could come!'

they could rummage through

see all the parts of my life

I hide in the compartments,

shoe bags and pockets

my life is a suitcase

I'm always ready to leave

but one day

I hope

someone might look and see

then come back

with a brand new place to put my suitcase and me

[liescanberight-blog]

Blue

it's the color of

her lips in winter as she laughs

and of your sweater she stole

it's the color of

the ice she perches precariously on

and her scream as she falls

it's the color of

her sheets in the bright hospital bed

and the tears falling from her mothers head

finally

when she is put to rest

it's the color of your heart

already bled