[lightbetweenstars]

I've been having a lot more intrusive thoughts/urges lately so that's not great. I have to attribute it to a combination of my living situation and work situation. The fact that I haven't had the house to myself at all for almost a year is unraveling me. I REQUIRE 100% alone time in order to effectively recharge but when the person you live with has no job and no life whatsoever outside the house 🙃🙂🙃🙂 it's infuriating. Huge difference between being by yourself and being alone. I'm by myself all the time but never truly alone and I hate it. While not every single autistic person experiences this, many of us, like myself, need breaks from being perceived and I usually get that break at home but I no longer do because I can be perceived at any moment. Then the fact that I worked 7 days in a row with 1 day off then 8 days in a row... I'm at a point where I can only work part time for both my physical and mental well being. Suddenly being thrown into not just full time without even a heads up but this many days in a row multiple times, immediately after being sick for a week, has fried my peace.

I could never have imagined what my life would become. Discovering quite late that I have two musculoskeletal disorders and two neurodevelopmental conditions. Being an athlete for 24 years actually harmed me... Who knew that being so physically active would actually break my body down. One of these musculoskeletal disorders is more rare than 1 in 1 million and that's so crazy to me. I want to mention that I think our nervous systems know how vulnerable we are even if we consciously do not. I really truly believe that my nervous system has tried so hard to protect me my whole life even when I had no idea what I was really dealing with. I've always been much more cautious, high alert, and risk averse. If I get in a car accident for example, my injuries will almost certainly be more severe than the average person and I've always been a very defensive driver. Outside of sports, I am extremely cautious about things that could impact my body. And do you know how embarrassing it is that I can't have a sex life without looking like I'm being abused? I bruise so much easier, my skin tears easier, etc. it's easier to just not date at all. I'm really not living a very full life right now and I'm struggling. I'll be moving into my own place again in less than 2 months again and that will help a lot but wow, I'm really just in survival mode.

[lightbetweenstars]

Wtf. I was out of work for a week sick with a cold. I come back to work and immediately am working 8 days in a row. I'm going to lose my shit. This new manager seriously sucks.

[liberalsarecool]

"That’s what makes Zohran Mamdani’s election in New York so unsettling to the old order. New York City is not just another municipality; it’s a sovereign-scale entity. Its population surpasses 38 states. Its metropolitan GDP trails only Texas and California.

It is, by any metric, a small country masquerading as a city.

It governs more lives and more wealth than most nations. If democratic socialism — housing reform, public banking, equitable taxation — functions here, it obliterates the myth that such governance can’t work at scale. The fear isn’t ideological. It’s empirical. Because if Mamdani can keep the lights on, reduce homelessness, and maintain economic growth without catering to Wall Street, then the capitalist gospel collapses under its own dead weight.

What terrifies the establishment isn’t failure. It’s feasibility.

If it works in New York, there’s no reason it can’t work in Nebraska. If it works in Queens, it can work in Kansas City. And once proof exists, belief becomes irrelevant. The ship of democracy, fully refitted, will keep sailing — and no one can claim it isn’t American."

- Jackie Summers

[lightbetweenstars]

I did yoga for the first time in well over a year. I'm really not doing well. I realized I have heavily dissociated from myself once again. This is something I'm prone to after long periods of high stress. I haven't seen this level of skill regression in myself for 6+ years. I'm so over these low points. But this is also literal proof of autism. It's tough because I know what helps me thrive and much of it is currently out of my control. Seriously so hard to live in capitalism with multiple disabilities.

[lightbetweenstars]

I'm realizing that I'm really not doing well, oops. I'm struggling a lot more than I initially thought. I understand that the way I view the world is... unique because of autism and ADHD but it's kinda miserable a lot of the time. I'm extremely justice sensitive and it's ruining my well-being. I cannot control other people but do I just ignore injustices like all too many do? Is there a middle ground? How do I both stand up for others and maintain sanity and regulate myself? I need to get off instagram honestly. I feel guilty for even being on Instagram because it's so corrupt and that guilt is feeding into the arguing as well. I just don't know what other platforms people are using instead. It's TOO easy for me to slip into this toxic cycle of arguing with strangers.

[lightbetweenstars]

My mom is a perfect example of someone who hasn't researched what they support. She's always identified as a Republican and when I've asked what specifically about it she supports, she doesn't have an answer. Reagan is her favorite President and the more I've learned about him I'm like what the fuck???? He was actually one of the worst Presidents we've ever had! One of my favorite things about myself is the fact that I question everything. I often questioned authority growing up and I see that as a very valuable trait now actually. As children, we are scolded for talking back aka having an opinion or asking questions a lot of the time. We should not be trained to be compliant, that's exactly how we get taken advantage of and we as a country have been/are being exploited by some of our Presidents.

[allsadnshit]

Keeping an alive tumblr in 2026 is proof of one's sincerity and authenticity - a type of person who enjoys posting for the sake of it with absolutely nothing to be gained....just the enjoyment of curation and self expression untainted by opportunity and relevance

[lightbetweenstars]

Yeah I'm over taking anxiety and depression prescriptions. All 3 of the meds I take cause dry mouth and that might seem pretty mild but I seriously hate it. I wake up feeling like a desert every day. I'm going to sloooooooooowly taper off them, one at a time and then I'm just done with it. I didn't want to go back on them in the first place but unsurprisingly, a male psychiatrist didn't take me seriously. At some point, I will do a 30 day t-break as well. I don't plan to give up weed because it helps me in a way nothing else ever has but I want to be a cheaper date 😆 I want to be able to get elevated off less again. It's undeniable how much it has helped me process trauma, it helps me sleep, it has reduced nightmares, AND it makes me more productive. It's literally a miracle but obviously tolerance can become a problem.

[polkadotmotmot]

Jung Eun Lee - J's bookshelves (R), 2025 - Coloring on Korean paper (Jangji)

[ratantics]

I needed to see this today.

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[dafancyuhinspiration]

[lightbetweenstars]

Called out of work for the first time since I started 7 months ago. Wasn't sick per se but definitely sick of getting 3 hours of sleep. I'm so dysregulated. I've seen literally everyone call out multiple times since I started, so I decided to have this paid sanity day because I have more than enough sick hours.

[cherrydanish]

[petaltexturedskies]

Here are my resolutions for the next 3 months; the next lap of the year. To have none. Not to be tied. To be free and kindly with myself, not goading it to parties: to sit rather privately reading in the studio. To stop irritation by the assurance that nothing is worth irritation. Sometimes to read, sometimes not to read. To go out yes—but stay at home in spite of being asked. As for clothes, to buy good ones.

Virginia Woolf, in a diary entry dated 2 January 1931, from The Diary of Virginia Woolf Vol. V: 1936-1941

[uroko]

[remanence-of-love]