[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ zaiden.

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑩𝑬𝑻𝑾𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑴 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳𝑺  almost  painful  ,  every  nerve  &  fiber  coiled  tight  within  the  vampire’s  tall  frame  tensing  with  burning  desire  ——-  desire  to  come  closer  ,  to  reach  out  to  the  other  ,  to  fall  back  into  their  old  vices.  but  years  had  passed  since  then  and  time  had  a  fickle  way  of  tearing  the  world  down  mercilessly  in  its  wake  ;  zaiden’s  narrow  field  of  vision  had  proved  to  be  nothing  more  than  a  thinly  veiled  sham  &  the  reality  of  his  existence  ,  of  the  sins  his  hands  had  committed  ,  began  to  eat  away  at  him.  he  had  nowhere  to  go  ,  no  one  to  turn  to  ——-  and  the  irony  of  it  isn’t  lost  on  him.  how  in  his  time  to  need  ,  of  desperation  ,  the  only  one  he  could  think  of  was  the  man  that  had  broken  his  heart  far  more  than  damien  ever  had.

❛  no  ,  ❜  zaiden  finally  answers  honestly  ,  voice  low  &  heavy  with  exhaustion  as  blue  hues  drop  to  the  ground.  it  almost  hurts  him.  being  so  close  to  dane  ,  but  not  being  allowed  to  lean  into  him.  his  muscles  are  rigid  ,  tense  &  tight  as  he  flexes  his  jaw  and  stares  down  at  wet  boots.  ❛  can  i  ——-  come  in  ?  ❜  he  feels  pathetic  for  having  to  ask  ,  but  zaiden  knows  almost  too  well  that  right  now  ,  he’s  little  more  than  a  stranger.  ❛  dawn’s  only  a  few  hours  away.  ❜  he’s  pleading  now  ,  surely  dane  can  hear  it  in  the  reservation  clouding  zaiden’s  quiet  murmur.  ❛  ——-  if  it’s  possible.  you  don’t  have  to  say  yes.  ❜

For some reason, there doesn’t seem to be any other answer that he can possibly give to his question aside from ‘yes’. The word gets caught on the tip of his tongue, lost somewhere near the back of his throat, and he has to take a moment or two to clear it out before he steps back from the doorway. Leaving plenty of room for Zade to slip in past him, he keeps an elegant hand presses along the frame of the door, head lowering just so like he means to duck it in respect. Old habits die hard, and if nothing else, he is his elder, so that means something to him even when most forms of respect fail to anymore. It’s hard to look at him and to not feel the weight of what he’s done, of the years that have passed in between the ‘then’ and the ‘now’ of who they were and what they’ve done. Dane knows that it’s his own fault, and he knows that he should acknowledge it in some way, but he simply can’t seem to bring the words to mind that will make up for the weeks and months and the years. The heartache and the heartbreak and the way that he can’t see him anymore without seeing that pain on his features. 

“You can come in.” Words spoken needlessly, perhaps, and on the tail end of an exhale --- he doesn’t particularly want to be out in the hallway while they do whatever it is that they’re doing right now, and although he couldn’t tell without the question being asked, it’s obvious that Zaiden needs the privacy, too. “I know I don’t ave to say yes, and I think that you must know me well enough by now to know that I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t want to. Or at least you used to know me that well.” It’s been a long time, and who’s to say really what he’s forgotten and what he’s remembered.

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ dante.

While before he couldn’t concentrate his thoughts, right now his focus lays on Sejin and him only. He scoots forward, remains seated next to him with his legs across the other’s lap. A soft smile spreads across his face at the new nickname. Two fingers move up and brush a strand of hair out of Sejin’s face. “Somewhere fancy, expensive,” he hums, thumb stroking over the other’s hand. Dante isn’t too sure where people go on dates these days, but he doesn’t mind entirely. If he has to take Sejin on a hundred dates just to find out what the perfect date is for them– you wouldn’t hear him complain whatsoever. “Maybe a play and dinner?” 

“A play?” It’s obvious in the way his face lights up that Dante has stumbled across something with that one, and he lets him have it, shifting his position only so that he can press forehead to temple. It’s intimate, and Sejin doesn’t shy away from it for once, only embracing the way that it makes him feel and the way that he hopes it makes Dante feel, too. “Oh, please let it be a tragedy --- I love tragedies.” Which could explain his life up to this point, honestly. Maybe he just loves what it is that he’s grown used to, or maybe he shaped himself to be like the things that he loves. It’s difficult to tell whether the chicken or the egg came first. “Don’t you?”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ zaiden.

𝑨 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝒁𝑨𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑵 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻  he’d  never  be  able  to  forget  ——-  no  matter  how  many  months  ,  years  ,  days  ,  hours  passed  them  by  ,  he  would  always  remember  how  to  come  back.  it  felt  pathetic  at  first  ,  how  deeply  rooted  zaiden’s  body  felt  every  time  his  tall  figure  slipped  in  and  out  of  the  shadows  fringing  the  neighborhood  dane  called  home.  it  was  almost  as  if  the  years  had  done  little  to  wear  down  the  thread  that  kept  the  former  death  dealer  tethered  to  this  apartment  ,  as  if  zaiden  was  never  meant  to  leave  at  all.  the  fragile  truce  had  broken  long  ago  ——-  and  with  it  ,  the  fate  of  vampire  &  lycan  kind  had  undergone  a  radical  change.  zaiden  lost  a  piece  of  himself  then  ,  the  startling  realization  that  the  blood  on  his  hands  ,  on  his  tongue  …  had  all  been  for  nothing.  and  now  ,  after  finding  himself  gravitating  towards  dane  again  ,  zaiden  felt  as  if  he  had  nowhere  to  go.  a  sheet  of  thick  ,  unyielding  rain  had  covered  new  york  city  &  the  vampire’s  body  was  drenched  to  the  bone  ;  black  clothes  stick  to  his  lean  frame  and  dark  ,  raven  -  black  locks  are  clinging  to  his  forehead.  his  boots  squelch  as  he  shifts  his  weight  from  one  leg  to  the  other  ——-  and  finally  ,  blue  hues  lift  to  meet  dane’s.  ❛  walked  ,  ❜  he  grunts  quietly  ,  rivulets  of  raindrops  dripping  from  his  chin.  ❛  needed  …  to  get  away  for  a  bit.  i  didn’t  know  where  else  to  go.  ❜  will  you  let  me  stay  ?

Finding the motivation to so much as speak to somebody out loud has been something that’s slowly been becoming increasingly difficult for Dane. Even now --- or perhaps especially now --- with Zaiden standing in front of him, he’s unable to summon them to his lips with any sort of relative ease. It’s been a long time since he last saw him, a long time since he broke his heart --- since he broke both of their hearts. It feels strange now, looking back on it, and he can’t help the way his mind always returns to the possibility of them in the wee hours of the morning, when he used to gaze at him like he was the world. Maybe there’s something reminiscent of that in the way that he gazes now, something to be seen hidden in the set of his features, but he chooses to ignore all of the swelling feelings inside of him in order to keep his careful neutrality intact. There are not many people in this world that he feels vulnerable for anymore, but if he had to choose someone above all that makes him raw, it would be him. “Is everything okay?” It occurred to him a while ago that he should probably check in on him, find out how he’s doing after everything that happened, but he wasn’t brave enough then. He’s barely brave enough now, even looking at him through the darkness surrounding them both. 

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ dante.

starter for @onethrills / sejin.

The library in the coven is quiet, especially at this time of day. They’re sat on a couch together, Dante with a thick book in his lap while his feet rest in Sejin’s lap. He’s thumbing through the pages, pretending to read, except that his gaze keeps drifting to the other and so do his thoughts. Finally, after far too long, he gives in. The older vampire closes the book and reaches for the younger’s hand. “Do you want to go on a date with me?”

Scrolling mindlessly through his phone, Sejin drifts in and out of the here and the now. Of course, he’s still aware of Dante’s presence at his side --- as he always is --- but there’s a lack of focus to everything he’s doing, his thoughts in a hundred different places at once. Mostly he can’t stop thinking about how he wants to go back to work, and how he’s probably not going to be able to find a production that will let him come in exclusively at night.

It seems sudden when Dante begins to speak, reaching out to take his hand, and Sejin starts a little before he sets his phone down on the arm of the sofa and turns his body a little. “Depends. Where are you going to take me, Romeo?” His voice is teasing.

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ bell.

darling. it’s been a long time since he was given an affectionate name such as that – at least a genuine one that wasn’t laced with the word slut beneath it’s breath. he thinks he smiles when he hears it, but all of a sudden his cheeks are wet and he’s not sure which is real. is he crying? is dane crying? why are they crying? why is he floating away? he swallows thickly, trying to blink his eyes clear as if seeing will help him to hear better. to focus. to understand. “where am i?” he repeats the question back, and then he clears his throat and attempts to make the words carry to the person on the bed. “where am i?” 

the response is muffled. dismissive. annoyed, perhaps. bell wasn’t invited here to make so much noise. usually it isn’t a problem. usually he doesn’t want to talk anyway. 

“i don’t know,” he finally replies to dane, though it isn’t much of an answer. it’s the best he’s got. “where are you?” he isn’t here. he isn’t the man in the bed or the one who stained the floors beneath his bum. he isn’t the smell of smoke and liquor and the sense that he’ll be sticky and gross forever after laying here. none of this is dane. it is the opposite. perhaps that is where bell is. the opposite of wherever dane could be. 

“At home, right where you left me.” Dane feels like he’s always right where he left him, always lingering, always waiting, watching, wanting. Right now is no different, and even with tears clogging his voice, he can tell him that because it’s the truth. Vulnerability has never been something that he’s good at, his default being buttoned up, being closed off, but right now he feels as raw as he’s ever felt around Bell. Perhaps more so, even when he has nothing left to lose. Maybe his humanity being intact is only a bad thing after all. Maybe he can’t stomach the thought that he’s going to be this sad for the rest of his fucking life. Maybe none of it fucking matters because him reaching out can only end in sadness and fucking heartbreak.

“Fuck.” It’s hard to not let the curse out on a sob, and Dane draws a shaking breath into his lungs. What is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to go on? He’s angry, he realizes. He wants something to be angry at, but he can’t have that. “Can I find you?” Asking him this right now... it means that he can say no. It means that if Dane just does it on his own, he’s directly violating him in some way. He knows the implications, and he asks anyway. “Please.”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ berry.

“WHAT are you implying?!” berry gasps, shocked and mortally wounded by such insinuations as those being cast upon him by his own husband. how could he – could anyone – accuse berry of such things? he’s innocent! pure as the day he was born upon a cloud in the heavens and presented his halo. it’s just not fair! “that’s it. bedroom it is. i won’t have it any other way,” he declares, and eve is successful in getting the rise of indignation out of him, huffing loudly as if the whole entire world has wronged him. the pout starts to form immediately after, though that’s partly because he knows eve is right in thinking it’ll look hideous there, but now they have to at least try it. 

It’s exactly the kind of response that Eve expects, and he keeps his expression carefully neutral just to add fuel to the fire. “I wasn’t implying anything, I was stating that you just want me to move the painting around for the sake of having me move it around. I’m not putting more holes in our walls that I’ll have to fix.” Berry is going to say he’s mean. He knows he is, and it only serves to amuse him even more. Reaching out, he touches his face lightly to soften his words. “You said this was the perfect spot. You insisted, as a matter of fact. Are you going back on your word?”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ chae.

chae doesn’t have the chance to reply, and for that he’s grateful. instead he gets to see a little insight into his… boyfriend’s?… mind. witness a glimpse of it as rhys backtracks and reminds himself that chae cares – and he’s right, because chae does. he asked because he wanted to, certainly not from obligation. if anything, it went against his instincts, of which are simply to ignore all emotion and pretend everything is going swimmingly. he listens, and once again a kiss is pressed into rhys’ hair. perhaps a forming habit. “yeah, i do. do you wanna tell me about them? i’d like to hear,” he clarifies this time, just to be certain. 

Not knowing where to begin or how to start isn’t something that’s out of the ordinary for Rhys. His head is always full of winding paths, twists and turns that start from one place and do not end very far from the beginning. It’s strange and difficult to navigate, and he worries sometimes that maybe Chae will get lost in the labyrinth of his mind, should he allow him entry. He worries he won’t know how to get back out. “I had a nightmare about my last boyfriend.” It’s raw, a little too real for him to be able to keep looking at him as he speaks. Instead, he looks away, out towards the rain falling in sheets. “About his hands around my throat.”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ mia.

she’s delighted by the look of surprise on his face, a laugh escaping her lips as they spread into a mischievous grin. it only begins to soften, fade, as she purses them in response to his words. 

“in? oh, no sir. i’m sorry, but you’re strongly mistaken. you see, it’s raining, so we need to be outside,” she presents him with her hand in the midst of her nonsensical words that she somehow states in an entirely logical tone, as though jun’s the odd one here for not understanding such a concept. 

“c’mon, hurry. before it’s over,” she’s as eager as a child on christmas morning and it shows, a second hand reaching for him as though that will speed the process along. “what will we do if the rain ends and we never get to kiss in it?”

Confusion makes the smile fade from his lips at first, showing on his features just like everything else does. Jun is nothing if not an open book, and he doesn’t bother trying to change that about himself. Instead, he focuses on figuring out what other people are feeling, and that’s more than enough work for anybody. 

“It’s supposed to rain all night.” He points that out with a smile, one that melts back onto his features because of what she says, and he wonders for a moment if this is what it feels like for someone else to be as straightforward as he is. If he’s finally met his match in the form of this girl that he barely knows, but wishes he knew far better. “I can see that you’re in a rush, though, so let’s go.” Allowing her to take both of his hands, he’s lead out into the hall of his apartment complex, his door swinging shut behind him. They take the stairs down, and he holds the front door open for her with another cheeky smile. “I thought you were all wet just ‘cause you were happy to see me.”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ bell.

“mmm?” it’s almost inquiry, though with less focus and not an ounce of the curiosity bell would usually allow for a deep rumble of his name through the phone. he doesn’t recognise it shaping that single word, but he isn’t sure he’d recognise his own right now, either. he certainly doesn’t recognise where he is or who he’s with, he’s come to realise in the process of searching for his phone in the first place. there’s a bed, the male who’d snapped at him earlier laying upon it. bell has a feeling that will be his bed tonight, too. at least for an hour or two. payment. 

dane? dane. did he hear that correctly, or is he just not high enough to escape those thoughts tonight? has he been ripped off with some weak shit that’s going to send him back out to the streets come 3am, searching? he swallows back bile at the thought of another night like that, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a breath. 

“dane?” it’s quiet. unsure. like he’s placing all question of his sanity upon that one syllable. he can’t begin to process the outcome either way, but he almost thinks it’d be easier to lose all control of his sanity at this point. give into it. let go, stop fighting. he’s always been a fucking fighter, but he’s never been so exhausted before. there’s a cold in his bones he’s never gonna shift. 

The sound of Bell’s voice makes his breath hitch in his throat painfully. It’s not because of that alone, but because of what he can hear going along with it, the tone, the way that he shapes it around his words. It all comes together to form one inevitable conclusion, and that one conclusion is enough to make the lump in his throat finally flood his eyes. Pressing his lips together, Dane tries to keep his trembling under control, and he sniffles despite wanting to not allow Bell to hear him cry. Maybe he won’t. Maybe he won’t notice, since he’s so out of his goddamn head. Since he’s unreachable. It brings back memories, resurfacing them from his childhood, when the person he loved most in the world then would float away, too.

Aching, he tries to dispel the tears from inside of his chest, from his eyes, but all they do is drip slowly down his cheeks to land on his bare chest. “Yeah, Bell. It’s me.” His voice is husky, hoarse. “Where are you, darling?” In danger, most likely. Maybe he doesn’t even know where he is. The thought makes Dane’s heart constrict, and he wishes that there were a way for him to find out without invading Bell’s privacy. He wishes he didn’t know that it was wrong. Knowing right from wrong is a burden sometimes, at least so far as his anxiety and his fears go. Still, he knows he can’t do that unless he’s really in danger, and he grips his phone tighter, pressing it harder into his ear like it’s going to make him closer to him.

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ berry‌.

“hmm,” he inspects it as though he hasn’t been studying eve’s every move with a magnifying glass for the past hour of their lives. he draws the blanket tighter around him as he tilts his head, not wanting to risk it slipping from his shoulders. how disastrous would that be? “it looks straight, but…” oh boy, here we go. “are we sure we like it there? would it not look better on the wall across? or maybe… maybe the kitchen? ooh or our bedroom. maybe we should try it in a few different places and see?” never mind that this one place took so much time already, nor that putting it up means putting holes in every wall they try it on. or the fact that berry had previously insisted this was the perfect spot. he bats his lashes entirely innocently at his husband.

Eve shouldn’t be amused. Not even the little bit that it takes to arch his brows and curl his lips up slightly at the corners, looking down at Berry with far too much softness for it to be healthy for either of them. Maybe he should start putting his foot down in situations like this, but he still can’t seem to find it anywhere in himself to not have to hold back laughter. It’s so Berry, he can’t help but take a bit of joy in it. “I’m sure you like it here, otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to get me to move it.” He answers wryly, teasing for the sake of teasing and knowing that he’s as likely to get a pouting response as he is to get an indignant one. Perhaps it will be indignant pouting this time. “It would look terrible in our bedroom.”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ chae‌.

“what is it?” chae had seen, having been watching rhys nap for a while now. he’s not sure he’s ever been so relaxed, sitting here with the chills running up his spine in such an enjoyable way and the rain drowning out the sound of anything else. it’s magic here. truly. as is the boy in his arms. usually he wouldn’t ask such an invasive question, but the amount of fear he’d seen is too much to ignore; he wishes to comfort. to soothe. to protect, as is his nature. he tucks a kiss in against rhys’ temple, and allows him as much time as he needs to speak. 

“You don’t have to ask me that.” Rhys speaks it small, into the chilly air like he’s afraid of what it might do. A minute shake of his head follows, and he tips his chin down, thinking for a few, long moments. “Sorry.” He follows it up with an apology because he knows that it’s probably unfair of him to assume Chae doesn’t care about the things that scare him. He does know it. He’s just not used to having anyone care, and he feels... strangely exhilarated and strangely frightened at the same time. “I hate how my dreams make me feel sometimes. When they include the very, very bad things. The things that happen that you don’t really forget, you know?”

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ bell‌.

the ringing of his phone seems distant, like through a tunnel or maybe a different dimension. he can hear it, and yet it sounds out of reach of his own ears and the concept makes his head spin. he listens to it, yet it never occurs to him to answer. he’s entirely forgotten that’s what a ringtone is for. he’s reclining back on some guy’s floor, chin tilted up to the ceiling as poison spreads through his veins. fresh track marks show it’s point of entry, but where will it escape? bell doesn’t like that thought. he tries to make it leave, swallowed up in the smoke that seems to thickly coat everything in this room. 

are you gonna fuckin’ answer that or not?

his company’s snapping reminds him once again of his phone, but this time with the added sense that you’re supposed to pick up when it rings. sitting up is hard. crawling around trying to find it is harder. discovering it’s been in his pocket all along is confusing. by the time he finds it there, the call has ended. he doesn’t think to check the name, simply pressing the button that’ll call them back. not a lot of thought is going into anything right now. he listens to it ring out now, rather than in. 

Disappointment wells up inside of him more and more with every passing trill of the ringing, and by the time the last one sounds, he’s completely fallen in on himself even more than he had been before. Curled, Dane lifts a hand to touch at his hair, his head tilting away from the light from the street lamps slanting in through his window. He feels exposed with it, with this, and he doesn’t like it. He hates it, in fact. So much that it makes his throat go thick with it, and he has to remember what Gunner said to him about crying. That it’s okay to do. That he even should, sometimes. It’s a shame Dane refuses to allow this to be one of those times, because he could probably really use it. Not being numb, actually feeling --- it does hurt sometimes, doesn’t it?

It startles him when his phone begins to ring, so much so that he knocks his elbow against the glass and curses beneath his breath. When he lifts it, the name he sees there printed across his screen makes his heart skip several beats. Him calling back never felt like a possibility, but now that he has it, he wonders why his mind never clung to that little hope. Maybe he’s just more unaccustomed to feeling that emotion than he is all of the others. “Bell?” He answers it on an exhale, and he leans his forehead against the cool windowpane. “It’s Dane.” Obviously. He called him.

[lightpatch]

*:･ﾟ✧ ﾉ mia.

[ TEXT READ 29/1/2020 AT 7:05PM GMT ]

mia chooses not to reply. sat in possibly the most boring board meeting of her life, she smiles a little at her screen before flipping the phone again to place it on the polished wood before her, pretending not to have been distracted. rain is falling outside, pattering against the large glass windows and making her itch to be out there; exploring, adventuring, splashing in puddles – and perhaps, with him.

the meeting goes on for above an hour longer, the increasing darkness outside threatening to dampen her spirits but she won’t allow it. the moment she is free, her feet are taking her out of the door and into the rain where she belongs. her driver, actual love of her life, late forties married man who’s been a father figure to her for years now, is giving her a disapproving yet somehow fond look as he watches her take her sweet time in approaching the car. 

it’s a short drive, and when her knuckles wrap upon his front door, she’s already damp and looking ready to cause mischief. 

An hour passes, and then a little over one, and Jun melts into his sofa, halfway dozing and halfway waiting to feel his phone vibrate with an incoming text. Of course, that text never comes, and then he’s being startled back into full consciousness by the sound of a knock at his door. His mind immediately leafs through the possibilities of who it could be, and he comes up with no one. He isn’t expecting anyone, at the very least, so drawing blanks is all he can really do.

Standing, he stretches his arms out above his head, letting out a quiet groan before he drops them back down and heads towards his entry way. He doesn’t bother checking who it is before he opens the door, and to say that he’s startled would be putting it lightly. “Mia.” Maybe the impression that he’d made on her was every bit as good as the one she’d made on him. It’s not something that he’d allowed himself to really get used to the thought of before now, but he can’t think of any other reason she would be standing there --- without his shirt? Is she wearing it under her coat? He isn’t sure.

“I suppose I won’t make you ask to come in.” With a little smirk, he stands aside.

[lightpatch]

“Is it straight?” Eve’s voice carries, and he takes a couple of steps back until he’s standing next to Berry, looking at the painting that he’s just hung up on the wall of their lounge. They’re still working on customizing their shared space into something that looks shared between them, and this was something that his husband had picked out, which is more than enough for Eve to want it to be perfect. Glancing over at him --- wrapped up with a blanket draped around him like a cloak, as per usual --- he smiles a bit with swelling fondness, warmth dripping in his chest to pool in his tummy. Unable to help it, he reaches to cup his hand over his nape and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Straighter than us, of course.”

[lightpatch]

A rumpled mess, Rhys wakes up from his nap with a start, the dreams that had haunted his slumber leaking out into his reality even with Chae’s arms wound around him. They sit curled up in one of the chairs on his fire escape, tarp shielding them from the English downpour going on around them. It’s soothing, in a way, hearing the rain patter atop of them, and he shivers slightly from the chill as he tucks in closer. Fear shows on his face, deeply rooted and unable to be hidden, and he tucks into his lover’s neck like he means to keep it from him, even if he’s already seen it. Rhys is quiet, nothing to say for the moment, and his breaths are shallow as his body gives another tremble.

[lightpatch]

Cold seeps in through the cracked open window, and Dane sits on the sill, curled into the glass like he means to fall through it. He misses him, is the thing. He misses him in this empty apartment, in his chest, deep down in all of the dark places that have ached for him every single fucking moment since they met. Thinking back on them in the car, on them the first night, he regrets how they came together, but he doesn’t regret that it happened. He doesn’t regret that he came to know him, because even if everything is ending in desperate heartbreak, it’s okay. He had him. He has him, forever, trapped behind his ribs and between the beats of his heart.

Phone in hand, Dane’s long fingers hesitate over the ‘call’ button for what feels like the hundredth time. His throat is thick with it, and he knows that he isn’t supposed to. He knows that he isn’t supposed to do this, be like this, call him when he’s low, when he’s needy. Still, there’s a moment of desperation that temporarily takes him over, and he finds himself tapping that green circle and bringing the phone up to his ear despite it all. “Pick up. Please.”

[lightpatch]

[ TEXT SENT 1/29/2020 AT 7PM GMT ]: so, when am i going to get that shirt back?

Hitting ‘send’, Jun settles into his sofa, still dressed for work and feeling the exhaustion settling in that usually hits him around this time. There’s a certain degree of excitement, and perhaps a little bit of anxiety as well mixed in with that, and he does’t quite know what to do with it all in combination. Mia is different. He’s known that she’s different from when they’d met this past weekend, and he knows now that he feels it deeply enough to want to reach out to her with any possible excuse to see her again. Even on another work night. Staying up past his bed time is worth it when it’s for her, and he knows that he’s probably too intense about it, but that’s just the way that he’s functioning when it comes to this.

Dating has always been something that he hasn’t taken too seriously, but somehow, this feels like more than dating. He tries not to stare at his text app too much as he waits for a response back, scrolling lazily through his twitter instead.