ilya “my husband said no” rozanov and shane “can my husband come” hollander really are the codependency couple of all time

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@liighteater
ilya “my husband said no” rozanov and shane “can my husband come” hollander really are the codependency couple of all time
harris creates ILYA JEOPARDY for ilya’s 32nd birthday and the centaurs are hyped to see who can get more points than Shane; Bood and Ilya have been captains for years together, Troy and Ilya are best friends, Wyatt and Ilya have their own captain-goalie relationship, Luca is his mentee etc etc all the centaurs have their own thing with Ilya. “yeah Shane’s his husband but I saw him everyday for practice for years I think I’ll get some points in there”. AND the questions aren’t even that hard “what does Ilya order at osmows” “what’s his pre game ritual” “what’s his favourite city” “what’s his favourite gatorade flavour” - the centaurs keep getting the answers like 20% incorrect and shane gets to swoop in and correct them, “it’s actually a loon not a duck” “that is NOT his favourite fast and furious” “he doesn’t like blue he likes the light blue gatorade”. Ilya can’t even act nonchalant he feels insanely loved.
ryland grace is aroace. however he is also stratt’s dead wife, rocky’s red string of fate starcrossed soulmate, & intensely violently homosexual for mark “simon iron lung” iplier. all things are true & all things can coexist. peace & love on planet erid
i live! here's part 3 🎉
(working on this again after having to rush to finish work for finals has been a balm on my weary soul, but also i feel slightly insane bc i was tired of drawing and i am recovering by drawing🧎)
part 1, part 2
One day at the cottage, Shane and Ilya wake up super early and they're both hard, so obviously they have lazy morning sex about it. Then they fall asleep and when they wake up again they go for round two, then a third one in the shower.
"Three rounds before breakfast," Shane comments while they're drying off. "That has to be a personal record."
As soon as he's said it, he and Ilya lock eyes, the same idea occurring to them both.
This is how they end up spending the whole day trying to wring as many orgasms out of each other as physically possible.
It's fun at first, a little bit aggressive in a playful way. They try out new positions and chirp each other ("That's five for me, try to keep up Hollander!") and just generally have a great time with it.
As it takes them longer and longer to get hard after each round, the mood shifts. They are nearly constantly touching and it should get to be too much, shouldn't it, but instead it's like something's been unlocked for them, a bottomless hunger kept at bay for years because they never had enough time to satiate it.
They have time now and they are gorging themselves. It's desperate, almost frenzied, and they're not even talking in between rounds anymore, too busy kissing every inch of each other they can reach.
Eventually, they start to get tired. They've been sore for hours and it's starting to get painful now, so again the mood shifts. The touches turn gentler. Ilya spoons Shane and fucks into him, hips just barely moving because it's painful for the both of them but neither one wants to stop.
That last round lasts forever and by the time they finally come, they're both crying. Shane turns around as soon as Ilya slips out of him, giving him the softest, most tender little kiss.
"I really don't wanna get up to shower," he mutters, the first clear words spoken by either of them in hours. "I don't know if I can even walk right now. This was a terrible idea."
Ilya laughs. "It was maybe not a good one," he agrees. "I think my dick might fall off."
"Mine too," Shane groans. He tucks his face in the crook of Ilya's neck, where he is warm and sticky with sweat. It would gross Shane out if he wasn't also sweaty all over. "At least we broke double digits."
"It was a worthy sacrifice."
I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
and every time, they sit in their seats like
Speaking as someone who is demiromantic I NEED more demi Grace content (especially in regards to Bloodymary. Hell make Simon demi too)
I so bad wanna be involved in all the fun shipping and crack shipping of my dearest darlingest ryland grace, BUT unfortunately I feel like sooo many people tend to sidestep the concept of aroace grace when they decide to ship him w people, and i dont think my aroace brain or heart could take it
down to the wire and my internet went out so i'm posting from my phone 💀💀💀 anyway happy end of mermay, it's eel simon!
Simon’s ability to navigate is cracked asf to Eridians!!! /pos
OKAY so idk if this is canon cus I can’t find the post but someone made a post about how Eridians apparently don’t have a spacial memory/recall/remembered spacial awareness like we do, and therefore if they walked through a room and “saw” it, then tried to walk through the room “blind” aka deaf and unable to echolocate, they’d be totally lost. They don’t retain awareness of how to navigate that space. Unlike humans, who can mentally visualize the navigable area of a room they can no longer see, allowing us to walk around in the dark with some semblance of where things are. That post mentioned how confused Eridians would be seeing Grace walk around his house in the dark and not run into Everything, he actually seems to know where he’s going.
And then I had a realization while rewatching Iron Lung. THEY WOULD FIND WHAT SIMON DID INCONCEIVABLE. Absolute freak of nature shit. And what I mean is his ability to map his surroundings and learn them and navigate them. Simon literally could never effectively see things while moving, all he had was a proximity radar and occasional shitty photos that would only ever be “how things looked 3 seconds ago”, and he mapped the area in the blood ocean with decent success and at certain points no longer even needed his map. He managed to gain a sense of his surroundings outside the ship, and understand those surroundings, navigating essentially blind. Only knowing/discovering if something is in front of him once he’s right there almost up against it, close to collision. Building a visual of the space by approaching a direction until he is stopped. And that method of navigation?
In all reality, what most accurately describes the way Simon navigated is by feel. Simon navigated by touch.
….and I think I need to make some fanworks about that.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
BABYGIRL ILYA!!!
This is my agenda and I will push it! @bambicoded fic was exactly what I was looking for!! Ilya is Shane's baby and he will buy him nice things and take care of him because he deserves it.
❤️❤️!!
HOLLANDER V ROSANOV
... mma au anyone?
Some art about coffee and certainly nothing else
I’m gonna be honest if Bradley hadn’t left after the paper I think this boy would be so unhinged like Beth Dutton unhinged and Jake would just have heart eyes
Javy: Jake he just threatened to stab somebody
Jake: (sighs, while making heart eyes) yeah, he’s perfect
once shane moves in with ilya and theyre able to codependencymax i think shane’s parents (probably yuna) broach the topic of how theyre together all the time but shane cuts her off before she can even say anything with “I know!! isn’t it great we get to do everything together it’s the best!!! we thought we’d have to wait until we retired but we get to play together and live together and i’m very happy and Ilya is too!!!” and she’s like okay honeymoon period got it and then like 5 years later thinks about trying again but decides it’s not worth it because those two want to live in eachothers skin but that’s not possible to this will do.
GOD imagine Jake retires and is finally able to grow out his hair and not have to shave so frequently, and maybe even gaining more muscle.
and Bradley, poor, lovestruck Bradley, is always thrown a curveball in the shape of Hot as Balls Jake Seresin. This man is a 2star Admiral, he eats pipsqueak sailors for breakfast and puts his foot down in meetings with other highly ranked people but the second he walks into the Hard Deck and sees this Jake????
He's on his knees, a man devout to the god that is Hangman
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