i don’t think people talk about the fact that part of the reason ian is so cold to mickey in s6 is because ian is probably fucking livid with mickey for trying to kill sammie and being put away for possibly 15 years. it was a stupid thing to do, and we know how ian hates mickey doing stupid shit that will take mickey away from ian.
ian most likely saw his break up with mickey as temporary. like all their ones previously. ian needed time, a breather. he’s so lost and needed the break up but knowing them, they would make their way back to each other as they are always ian and mickey.
but mickey got thrown in prison and ian has to now learn to live with a possible future of up to 15 years without mickey. to a 17 year old - that’s nearly his whole lifetime
i do think a lot of it is ian not yet finding a med combination that works for him. and he's lost a lot of his agency because his family is now micromanaging him.
i can speak from experience that irritation is common when adjusting to a lot of anti-depressants. once my prescription got messed up and i went a few weeks without my anti-depressants and when i tell you i was so filled with rage for like no reason. i was practically breathing fire.
ian used to be really independent and self-reliant. he used to have goals and freedom. he would go days without his family knowing where he was
and now everyone's breathing down his neck. he's lost his chance to be in the army. everyone's looking at him like he's a ticking time bomb. and he's lost a lot of his confidence
he doesn't think anybody would want to be with him. a lot of that is to do with him coming to terms with his diagnosis, but it's also about the general state of his life post-diagnosis. he has no control and nothing is how it was before.
he's angry. he's angry at everyone and everything and the universe for taking away everything he was before this.
plus he's not yet adjusted to medications that give him hope that things can get better.
visiting mickey is depressing. it's an exercise in futility. what difference would it make. ian doesn't even want his life as it is so why would he expect anybody else to want to be a part of it.
breaking up with mickey was self-sabotage, a misplaced sense of self-righteousness. ian was making mickey's decisions for him.
and mickey getting locked up probably does piss ian off.
like what if he was thinking "i broke us up so mickey could have a life and be free and not feel obligated to care for me or to deal with me, and i did that for nothing because he threw his life away anyway". what if he was thinking "i broke both of our hearts for nothing, for what?"
and there's probably also a lot of resentment, especially when ian is experiencing suicidal ideations. because mickey said ian didn't need a suicide list. mickey said he would be there. mickey said he was all ian would need. and where is mickey now? unreachable! and he'll be unreachable for a decade at least because he was reckless and impulsive.
visiting mickey would be like pressing on a bruise. it would be to reopen that wound for the both of them over and over again. to be so close yet so far. and perhaps a clean break is for the best, would give them both the best chance of moving on.
because this is the consequences of their decisions. this is the hand they've been dealt. ian didn't want mickey to worry about him, so he doesn't give him anything to worry about. mickey said he would be there, and now he can't be.
there's so much angst and crunchy character work that we could dissect and flesh out regarding this part of their story.
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