Hesitation
Hey there, this is my first fanfic in a few years and my first on Tumblr. I hope you like it and stay for longer. I've tried to write this story the way like books are write but I still have to see if this style suits me although I don't know if you'll want to read another one either, but just enjoy reading my stuff ✒️
❕️English is not my native language and I use a translator! I apologize for any mistakes.❕️
Lucifer x Reader | Idea taken from KDH | Christian family, religious wavering, manipulation of friends, falling in love, compassion and reflection.
You were an ordinary girl from a Christian family. On the outside, everything seemed fine: you were smiling, had hobbies and talents, and had no problems, right?
In reality, you were torn inside because of your religion. You believed that God and eternal life existed, as did hell and damnation, but sometimes different thoughts and doubts came to mind. How can you be sure you'll go to heaven? You've heard that it really depends on your conscience, but what if you don't do anything wrong in your life but your conscience torments you because you overthink things? What if...
Fears arose within you, which Michael Demiurgos sensed. The man you met and became friends with enough to tell him about your doubts (even though he knew about them from the beginning) and he actually used them to his advantage to defeat Lucifer. He thought you were the perfect target, uncertain about your future, lost, overwhelmed by your thoughts, but also deeply longing for friendship, someone close, anyone you could talk to. He convinced you that all those stories about the devil and demons you heard at school and saw in films were true, and that if you helped him defeat Lucifer and one of the strongest demons, Mazikeen, you would be guaranteed paradise after death. Micheal revealed to you that they live on earth, so you need to deal with them as quickly as possible before more of them appear here. He gave you one of the blades that kills "heavenly" creatures and taught you the basics of combat. It is well known that a person who is just learning, having never even touched a weapon before in their life, will have no chance in a fight against such agile and powerful beings. That is why you came up with the idea of befriending them first, gaining their trust, and then attacking at the most vulnerable moment, which will hurt twice as much. At first, that's what you thought, and everything went according to his plan, but as time went on and you spent more and more time with Lucifer, you felt something... You tried to justify it, telling yourself it was just his tricks, but your heart showed you how it really was. You were even more torn and tried to hide your feelings from Michael, who in reality didn't even care about you, but only pretended to be your ally and best friend who wanted what was best for you and the world.
You were sitting in your room singing, you liked it and writing some lyrics. Recently, you wrote the lyrics to "Takedown" in which you expressed all your hatred for hellish creatures. Michael was delighted with it, but over time you felt that it was too strong, inappropriate and wrong. You even began to understand the feelings of demons. They looked like ordinary people, but you could hear, and sometimes even see, their devilish faces coming to the surface.
"Time to put you in your place 'cause
you're rotten within.
When your patterns start to show
It makes the hatred wanna grow outta my-"
"Ehh..." you sighed, crossing out that line of text with a pen and looking at it sadly.
"When your patterns start to show..
I see a pain that lies below.."
You were lost in your thoughts when suddenly you heard a knock on the door and Michel's voice "[Y/N]? I can hear you in there" he asked, continuing to knock.
"Um, can you give me a moment?" Panicked, you quickly tried to gather the papers and throw them into the practically empty bin, which, due to your haste and carelessness, had tipped over, spilling the papers out. You ran to the door to open it for him.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing, just... uh... what? Did you want to come in or-" He entered without hesitation.
"Okay, if you want me to come in, I'll come in" he looked around for a moment before sitting down. "I heard you singing, it sounded good. But why did you change the lyrics?" he asked, picking up a piece of paper from the floor in front of him and seeing the crossed-out lines.
"Ehh... I don't know... there's so much hatred in it" you replied with sincerity in your voice, which Michael didn't like.
"Well, yes, because we hate Lucifer and all his demons" he replied firmly.
"Sure, yes, I-I know-" you tried to explain.
"Girl, what's been going on with you lately? You're acting like you slept with a demon or worse"
"What?!" You blushed slightly and felt embarrassed.
"And you're cheering on Maze? What was that about?: he said reproachfully.
"Of course I wasn't serious, come on, I was just messing with her"
"Listen, I think I'm pretty good at reading people, I'm actually an expert at it, and somehow I can't shake the feeling that you're hiding something from me" he looked at you as you sat down next to him.
"Michael, I.. I'm not hiding anything from you. I swear." You look him in the eyes, trying to show your sincerity.
"Uhhh, sorry.. I think I'm going crazy.. I don't know, maybe it's some kind of demon trick.." He wanted to manipulate you again. "Uhh, I can't wait until we take care of those posers and send them back to hell to suffer for eternity, heh, am I right?" He smiled.
"Yea.. eternal suffering.. sounds cool.." you couldn't hide your sadness and regret when you imagined it. Michael finally left, leaving you in an empty room with your head full of perverse thoughts, not knowing what to do next.
Thanks for reading! 🫶🩷