Analyzing Lily Orchard losing her fucking mind in real time
@lily-is-a-gooner has the post debunking the fact that this event was not staged, but I wanted to go over some of the noteworthy things I think are worth dissecting. Strap in, this one’s probably gonna be long.
Video link for anyone playing along at home:
[3:15] “You’ve got these things causing fucking car crashes, cuz they go off in people’s cars, startle them and cause them to veer into oncoming traffic!”
I’ll need to see a source on that before I believe it. Looking up “car crashes caused by amber alert” only brings up instances of kidnapped children that the amber alerts were for being involved in a car crash. Wouldn’t there be some study showing that reports for car crashes have an uptick within the hour of an EAS alarm being sent out?
[3:26] “AND THEY SEND THEM ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! […] You’re gonna get one of these things once a fucking week!”
No you won’t. Like. That is factually false. Excluding the test that just got sent out this month I get MAYBE one every three months. They are NOT common.
I thought maybe I was the outlier in that I live in Middle-of-nowhere, Alberta so I asked my Ontarian friend if they were more common there (you know, given the larger population) and what do ya know
[3:42] “We had one of these come out when Covid was happening! Like, Stephen, we all knew Covid was deadly, we didn’t need you to blow up everyone’s phones over it!”
I was ready to clown on this given I thought she was referring to Stephen Harper who hasn’t been PM since 2015 but I THINK she’s referring to Stephen McNeil who was the Premier of Nova Scotia in 2020. I don’t personally remember that alert going out (but I also have the memory of an anemic goldfish so that isn’t a high bar to clear) so maybe it was only a NS thing but I would assume for a national state of emergency that would be sent out by the NPAC? So, all parts of Canada? What would that have to do with Premier McNeil?
Don’t take this part super seriously I’m mostly just spitballing, this very well could just be an honest slip up on Lily’s part
[5:52] “I get amber alerts for shit that happens in Yarmouth! That’s a 3 hour drive away from me, the fuck you want me to do?!”
Hey, you know how earlier you said the amber alerts are usually about kids that wander off or are taken by a parent in a CUSTODY DISPUTE? Ya think that parent taking the kid is gonna STICK AROUND? They very well could be in Halifax by the time the alert actually goes out depending on how far the parent is willing to go. I myself jumped provinces to escape an abusive situation, that’s not exactly a long drive in comparison.
[6:36] (I’m gonna paraphrase this but essentially she’s talking about how 911 got swarmed with calls just bitching about the alarm going off in the first place and when they said not to abuse the line Lily calls this hypocrisy)
Lily the alerts are reporting imminent emergencies. If a kid (or really anyone) goes missing and they aren’t found in 48 hours it’s safe to assume they’re GONE. Calling 911 to complain about the alarm waking you up (despite them not being responsible for it) clogs up the lines when an ACTUAL report could be trying to get through. This is not comparable to a province using an emergency line for something that needs immediate attention just because it doesn’t affect you directly.
Feel like it’s also worth noting I’ve never seen anyone who wasn’t a conservative complain about the alerts at night. If it’s really that much of an issue you can turn your phone off at night (which you really should do anyway, it’s better for the battery) and get an alarm clock. If you know this to be an issue for you and the solution is completely within your control it is your responsibility to avoid this specific issue.
[7:46] (paraphrasing again: Lily is accusing people who are okay with the alerts going off at night of being hypocrites because they’ll just click their phones off and go back to sleep)
Again, this reeks of self-centrism and I’m once again unsure if Lily is aware that people who aren’t her exist. Yes, the person who acknowledges night alerts as a good thing may dismiss the notification. However, they acknowledge that people working night shift, such as hospital workers or those working at 24hr drive thrus/gas stations ARE awake and able to keep an eye out for certain descriptors, licence plates etc. This is not a hypocritical stance.
[9:10] “I can’t do anything while [the alarm] is playing. I just have to clap my hands over my ears and wait for it to end.”
…no??? You can literally swipe it away like any other notification and the noise stops. What are you talking about.
[9:30] (Not typing allat: Lily uses Japan as an example of how they use different alarms for different emergencies)
Oh hey look! Lily saying Japan did something good for once!
Gotta love how she picked the one country that doesn’t have an alarm that’s ominous as hell because literally almost every other country has an alarm that is just as if not more shit-in-pants worthy than Canada’s if it was played abruptly and at max volume
Maybe this is just personal opinion but I think it’s a good thing that all emergencies are regarded at the same level here. If we had a different, lessened alarm for when a child goes missing then people could immediately go “cool don’t care” instead of reading it at least once quickly to see what it says.
Alright that’s it for me I didn’t have a closing statement I’m gonna go take a nap… with my phone off
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