it had been a few weeks since JJ watched Francesca die and she couldn’t get the girls scream out of her head. no matter what she did.
emily has suggested she have more time off but jj wasn’t taking it - convincing everyone she was fine. everyone else was fine so was she.
they were in the office now and it was a day of paperwork, no new cases. everyone was joking and getting along in the bullpen, but JJ felt so unbelievably vulnerable. today would have been Francesca’s birthday. no one else seemed to care. no one else did care! it made her so mad, so upset.
she blamed herself for what happened to that young girl, she couldn’t not. but all the internalised anger wasn’t healthy.
since that day, she hadn’t been little. not that the team knew that. usually she dealt with it on her own or emily would come over but emily was busier now.
“JJ,” emily said coming down the stairs. “i just sent you an email, can you get it done asap for me please?” she said, walking past. JJ gulped and nodded, opening the email.
there was something wrong on her report. about the case.
she glanced it over and felt her chest go tight. she tried looking over the words but it was too hard, she felt dizzy.
JJ pushed out her chair and turned on her heels.
“JJ, hey,” emily gasped, grabbing her wrist. the whole team were watching her.
“get off,” JJ said, shaking her arm.
“what’s wrong?” emily asked, not letting go.
“i said get off!” JJ screamed, ripping her hand away. “leave me alone! do your own stupid report! leave me alone, get out of my god damn hair emily!” she ran from the room, heading straight to her safe place. she barged in the room, not thinking to knock and slid down the door- sobbing heavily into her arms.
the whole team was shook.
“i only asked her to do a report -“ emily said, perplexed.
“today is Francesca’s birthday,” spencer told the team.
“that girl from the case a few weeks ago?” tara asked.
“oh, no wonder she’s upset-“ luke sighed. the case had upset him too but it took jj to a whole new level.
emily sighed and turned to the team. “does anyone know when she was last small?” she asked, everyone shook their heads. she grabbed a bag from under jj’s desk before heading in the direction of Garcia’s office.
“whoa, pumpkin!” garcia exclaimed, seeing the blonde curl herself up at her door. she got off the chair and huddled next to her.
“JJ,” garcia whispered, stroking the girls hair.
“i sout,” Jay sobbed, her body racking with guilt. “i sout at mama,” she shook her head over and over and penelope sighed.
“that’s okay sweetie, mama won’t mind if you were upset,” penelope told her, grabbing her hand. jay shook her head, crying heavily.
“sout is bad, i bad,” she cried.
garcia sighed again and helped jj off the floor. the girl wasn’t too cooperative but garcia knew emily would come in any minute, she had to make sure the door was free.
“sit here lovely,” penelope whispefed, setting jj in her corner. it was only a small corner, one full of drawings she’d done, a blanket, some toys as well as sensory toys. JJ cried softly, looking around it.
“what’s this, hm?” penelope gasped, holding up JJ’s favourite cat toy.
“meow,” jay whispered back, grabbing it.
“meow to you too little lady,” penelope said softly. she interacted with the young girl, making sure she was distracted and wiped her tears softly.
just as jay was going to curl into garcia’s lap, one of her favourite spots, there was a knock at the door.
“it’s only me,” prentiss said behind it.
“come in,” garcia told her but jj gasped, shaking her head. none the less, the door opened and emily slid in.
“no, no mama,” jj whimpered, pushing herself into the corner.
“hey, it’s okay baby,” emily whispered, crouching beside garcia.
“mama isn’t mad baby, she can’t be mad at your cute face,” penelope chuckled, kissing jj’s cheek as she pushed herself closer.
“i’m not mad baby. reid told me what day it is,” emily whispered, picking up one of jj’s toys. jj didn’t say anything, only lowered her head.
“why didn’t you tell me sweetheart?” emily asked after a few moments.
“i fine bout it,” she shrugged.
“you’re not fine about it jay, because this happened. mama’s told you before about communicating,” emily sighed.
“no one unstan,” jj whispered.
“it doesn’t matter if we understand darling, we need to know if you’re hurting. because mama upset you by giving you the report, if i’d known i would have asked luke to do it!” emily told her.
“b b but he okay wif it,” jj whimpered, shrugging. then it clicked to emily.
“just because someone else has been okay after a case, doesn’t mean you can’t be jay. we all have our triggers, the cases that we struggle with, you’re allowed yours too.”
“you are a big girl but emotions don’t make you any less of a big girl,” emily said. she grabbed jj’s hand.
jj put her head on garcia’s shoulder, holding her mama’s hand and her cat toy in the other.
“i sowwy i sout,” she whispered a few minutes later, looking up at em through her eyelashes.
“that’s okay baby, thank you for apologising,” emily replied. she stood up, kissed jj’s head and stretched.
“how about you head home? take garcia with you and you can have a girls day?” emily suggested.
“ooh sugar plum we can go get icecream!” garcia laughed, tickling jj slightly.
“but i a big girl, i work,” jj groaned, throwing up her hands. emily laughed and helped her baby off the floor.
“i don’t think you’re able to get much work done today darling. head home and work on a surprise for mama,” emily giggled, pulling JJ into her arms.
“pwise?” JJ asked, gently. penelope perked up.
“we can make an awesome surprise for mama! let’s head off, hm?”
a few hours later, Jay and Penelope had finished their fort and were starting on their cookies when emily came through the door.
“mama!” JJ cheered, running out of the kitchen - covered head to toe in flour, batter and eggs - she jumped straight into emily’s arms, wrapping her mama in her love.
“well hello baby!” emily laughed, planting kisses to JJ’s face. emily was so, so glad jj was feeling better. sometimes thats all she needed, a little time out.
“i wove you mama,” jj whispered, she put her head on emily’s shoulder as she walked them through the house to the kitchen.
“i love you too baby,” emily replied, smiling ear to ear at her happy girl.
