Ā Ā THE MUCKRAKER : TWELFTH EDITION (Ā AUGUST 10TH, 2040 )
THEREāS NEVER A DULL WEEK IN LIMA, OHIO. READ THIS WEEKāS EDITION BELOW TO STAY IN THE KNOW OF LIMAāS HOTTEST GOSSIP
WHOāS KEEPING WINNIEāS BED WARM? (pg 2)
@winnicloveā has been noticeably absent from our dreary little town as of late. while itās no secret sheās filming her big comeback in a guest starring role, sources say she wonāt be making a comeback to grayson anytime soon. winnieās star was already outshining his own and now with this added distance, it only makes sense sheād be leaving that janitor in the dust! the only question left? whoās cleaning up after her now? if you have any tips, please get in touch ASAP!
SILLY FINN! LEOāS FOR KIDS! (pg 4)
whatever is going on between @leo-mccarthyā and @finnschuestersā is definitely questionable, right? other than the surprise leo was capable of moving on so quickly, is anyone going to talk about the fact they went on a seemingly romantic getaway to chicago? even though i never wouldāve painted finn as a cradle snatcher, i have to hand it to the new couple (?) it was a turn nobody expected to come from the publishing of their little hook up. letās just hope finn doesnāt keel over and die before leo actually develops a personality beyond brooding!
THE BOY IS BACK! (pg 6)
surprisingly, within the midst of all this cross country, mamma mia drama, somehow @brokelynsdā managed to throw everyone for another loop when he returned from the dead! sure, weāve all known heās been in new york, but itās not like he, you know, made any efforts to stay connected to lima. can we as a collective blame him though? thereās no doubt it mustāve burned when he found out his long term girlfriend was cheating on him with another chick. whoās gonna tell him naomi and eli are back on though? and when somebody does? give me all the details!
NYU DROPOUT! HEāS STUCK IN LIMA! (pg 8)
so once golden boy @tracehummelandersonsā seems to be back in lima for good! iām still not sure why heās back to stay, but a reliable source has told me heās trading in those silver screen dreams for that horrendous blue mechanic jumpsuit. yes, thatās right, limaās dearest tracy has dropped out of school and seems to be in lima to stay! welcome to lima loserhood trace, sorry you fell short of filling those gigantic shoes set before you! better luck next lifetime. i hear your friend eli has been dealing lately if you get tired sweating over peopleās cars!
CHASE TWO GIRLS, LOSE THEM BOTH! (pg 10)
to nobodyās surprise, @julien-schuesterā decided to go behind girlfriend @rorysladeāās back and get his dick wet with @ivystjamessā. you all know the saying, those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it, blah, blah, blah. according to our sources, rory has is still yet to dump julien which? only shows me sheās more messed up than we all may have initially thought. ivy clearly has some perpetual pining for julien. and julien? well itās obvious heās a whore. though there isnāt much word on any epic blow ups from roryās end, she burned julien in another way by performing as well as she did thursday night? and ivy? i heard sheās not speaking to him. but weāll see how long that lasts. letās just hope julien has some better car insurance since his last little fuck up!
MAMMA MIA! : A REVIEW BY JACOB BEN ISRAEL II (pg 12)
three words; drama, dadās, and duds. seeing as i am limaās most reliable source for anything and everything important, it makes sense the crowds would come swarming for the only review that matters. we all know and love the story of mamma mia, so iāll save all the boring plot stuff. hereās what iāll say, cream of the crop: rory slade, baby puckerman, ruby zizes. flops? theo beiste, joey hummel-anderson, leia evans. for me, rory just hit every mark! baby is insane, but it brought a dynamic presence to each of her few scenes. and ruby? talk about a breakout star, unexpected and pleasing, i for one wouldāve given someone with her ability and confidence levels tanya, but thatās just me. as for my flops, theo beiste is so stupid you can see it from the nosebleeds! everyone roots for pepper a little and i just didnāt. as for joey, casting a gay as a gay? boring. thatās all iāll say on that front. and leiaās performance as sophie? talk about a snooze fest. too sweet without enough fire. in whole, the performance was fun and up to mckinley standard, but next show i hope for an actual competent director not afraid to make daring choices. three and a half stars out of five.
CHECK BACK MONDAY (8/24)Ā FOR THE MUCKRAKER (ISSUE #13)














