Wrestling with God

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Heaven

Is heaven created by doing good deeds? When we love another person, do they enter our heaven? When we love are we then guaranteed to not walk alone in the next life? When we reject the poor do we reject heaven? When we refuse others will we then be refused? Are those we show love to and who we are shown love from, are they the treasure we store in our palace?

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15

If you have life figured out, scroll on. If you have questions, and don't mind Biblical conversation, the following may be for you. If you read it and it's not for you, I apologize for wasting your time. I wanted to share what I learned this weekend. I hope this helps someone, it helped me. Last week I learned about "magic squares". 1-9 laid out, all rows and columns equaling 15. I created a sigil using the square as a map to plot the course. Yesterday morning I had a dream that men where chasing me. Their goal was to cut me with a straight razor 15 times. I woke up to go have breakfast, I was order number 315. On the way home, a lecture on the 15th letter of the Hebrew Aleph-beis played in the car, Samech. What is 15? 15 is יה, Yah. What is Yah? Yah is a divine name. What does Yah tell us? Yah sits on the seat of wisdom. Yah begins with a single undifferentiated point, wisdom, a seed. Representing masculine traits of the divine. Yah ends with understanding, like the womb, it gives the seed of wisdom a place to grow, representing feminine traits of the divine. Without understanding, wisdom has no place to manifest. When the two are placed together they form Yah, 15. What is 15? 15 is Samech. What is Samech? Samech is a ring. A ring with no beginning or end, like a wedding band reminding us we are supported, and taken care of. Samech is a shelter from the elements, not a house, but refuge from life's storms. When it is pouring rain, and you enter a warm dry shelter, that joy you feel as you warm your hands and dry your clothes, that is Samech. That is 15, that is Yah. If you shelter yourself in eternal wisdom you will be supported, taken care of and safe from the storm. Know the name, and you are closer to the two paternal traits. Father wisdom and Mother understanding. Saying the name, is the key. Knowing the name opens the door. You don't have to stand in the cold anymore. ס

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Nothingness and Infinity

“Nothingness with beginning created God, the heavens and the earth.”  

Before there was, there was Nothingness.  Nothingness, not as in void or in lacking.  Nothingness as in, nothing can be equal to.  Beyond comprehension, personification and definition.  Before all things, there always was and will always be.

Infinite expanse, to infinite reduction. Large became small, so that all might grow.  On this, logic and faith agree.  But in this, we refuse to sing in harmony.  A painter and a poet expressing the same sunrise.  Two bickering children, crying for validation.  Ego blocking the continuity.  Won’t you see that you are we.  Can’t you see, we are family.