Backstory for my Baldur’s Gate 3 Tav - Cinder
Seldarine Drow Rogue Assassin
Pale grey with freckles, moon silver eyes, and copper hair, with a tattooed mouth and a scar across her nose
Proficient in the lute and lyre
Crossbow expert
Rapier duelist
Artisan of poisons and potions
Spotify Playlist
*story spoilers for beginning of act 3* *songs throughout by Mitski*
Originally from the Eastmyr district in Menzoberranzan, she was orphaned as a child and raised in the children’s house run by the church of Lolth. Cinder had a harsh upbringing, not helped by the fact that she did not appear as a full blood drow, with her fiery hair and pale gray skin. Her heritage was a mystery to her, and a danger; she was lucky to still be alive. She had clawed her way out of childhood tooth and nail, and earned her place as an assassin within the Spider Queen’s societal web. The Underdark is a savage and perilous place, but exploring the wilderness outside of the city was preferable to staying under the watchful eyes of the Lolthite priestesses.
It was in the winding caverns of the Northdark where she practiced with weapons and learned how to make simple toxins and healing salves. She had very little in her possession and kept it in a secret cache: vials of potions and bundles of herbs, semi-precious stones that could be used as currency, and a silver sword necklace that felt... significant, somehow. She found it stuck in a grate by one of the busy Eastmyr roads and never dared wear it on her person.
Citizens of drow society are locked in a constant battle for power, kill or be killed, abuse or be abused. She witnessed atrocities committed in the name of Lolth, and she bore the scars from her past transgressions, questioning the so-called wisdom of the priestesses. She had blood on her hands, her own as well as others’. She was the property of their goddess and her only purpose was to express devotion through acts of cruelty. Fail to do so and she would be destined for an even more torturous fate.
"Elliya Lolthu." "Test me, Lolth." The words were ever on her tongue, but her mind wanted to bite them back. She sharpened the sword of her body, but to what end? To appease the whims of an unloving goddess? To become the heel under which everyone else is to be crushed?
She saw her peers nearly destroy themselves for any ounce of power over others, and how it ultimately changed so little. The gilded gates of the drow nobility would never open to them, not to anyone from Eastmyr. It wasn’t worth it, all of the misery, the stalking and predation under the cover of darkness, the sacrifice of innocents. Aiming her crossbow at political enemies or followers of Vaeraun was one thing, but being forced to personally hand over infants to be consumed in one dark ritual broke her. She was nothing but an instrument of violence, to be discarded when she was no longer of use. The cruelty, the unfairness, everything she had experienced was all too much. Cinder had nothing to gain by staying in the Underdark, so she planned her escape, and her retribution. Her mouth would keep speaking "Elliya Lolthu," but in her head she cursed her goddess.
"To hell with your tests."
Song - The Deal
She began picking off members of the Spider Queen’s clergy, just enough to stir the pot without drawing too much attention to herself. A bit of poison in a goblet here, an ambush laid out in a dark alley there, she targeted the ones that inflicted the most pain, including the priestess that had given her the scar across her nose with a piece of jagged glass. It was thrilling, getting her revenge, but not satisfying and definitely not safe. Soon the eyes of Lolth would be upon her, she would either escape the Underdark alone in the vast cave networks or die trying.
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Cinder had some connections in a small Menzoberranzan thieves guild, she had sold them poisons and did some pickpocketing for them over the years. They were the ones who taught her how to pick locks and showed her some discrete exits outside of the city walls. On rare occasions, the guild would meet with a drow spellcaster, Iivxena, who lived on the surface and would make the dangerous trek to the Underdark to trade. Finally, Cinder had earned enough respect from key guild members to attend their more clandestine meetings, this was her first opportunity to meet her and very well could be her last.
That day at the bazaar, Cinder felt a set of eyes on her. After slinking through the crowds and concealing herself at one of the fabric stalls, she spotted another of Lolth’s assassins, Dhauzana. She was a bit older than Cinder, an accomplished killer and fervent follower of Lolth. She wore a determined look as she wove through the crowd. It could have been a coincidence, but now was not the time to play it safe, now was the time to leave.
Cinder made it to the small, sorry excuse for a guildhall and settled in with some roasted fish and ale. Iivxena stepped in through the guild’s secret passage and Cinder was awestruck at her beauty and the strange expression she wore on her face: a genuine smile, a rare sight to see in Menzoberranzan. She had to get close to her, before she left on her journey home, wherever that was exactly. Iivxena was careful not to share too much of herself, but that only further piqued Cinder’s curiosity.
When the night drew to a close, as Iivxena stepped into the private quarters that she rented from the guild, Cinder slipped her a note: “The flames of the sun and stars seem to have followed you into the depths, for this moth is drawn to the light. Would you share a bottle of wine with me?” Her message was met with a surprised yet subdued smile and an invitation in the form of a door slightly ajar. Cinder slipped into the shadows away from the others and grabbed a fresh bottle from the guild’s hoard.
The air in Iivxena’s temporary room held a hint of perfume, she had dressed her bed with lilac and silver colored fabrics. It felt cozy, and… safe. Cinder wasn’t used to this, but welcomed the feeling of comfort that settled her ever tense nerves. Over the years she had become a master at deception, feigning her true feelings and intentions from cutthroat drow, the priestesses of Lolth, even the spider goddess herself. But here, the tightness in her throat, the hardness in her face softened on its own.
“I like what you’ve done with the place.” Honestly, she did.
“Thank you, it's like a little taste of home.” Iivxena’s eyes sparkled in the candlelight.
With some hesitation, Cinder asked “…Where is home?”
Iivxena flashed that sweet smile again as she patted the cushion beside where she sat crosslegged. “Why don’t we open the wine you brought and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Right.” Cinder had almost forgotten about the rare and vintage Exeltis Ice Wine in her hands.
“This one should be good. It was damn expensive too, just not for us.” She eyed Iivxena, searching for a reaction. Iivxena shot a playful look at her as she reached for two glasses. “We snagged it off a woman in Narbondellyn, she probably didn’t even realize this was gone until she arrived back at her mansion.” Cinder smirked at the thought, free wine from one of the wealthiest families in Menzoberranzan, and now it might be key in gifting her freedom.
The wine was cold and sweet, truly delicious, a treasure from the surface brought down into the dark.
“It’s not often I get to come down to my homeland. What’s it like, living here?” Iivxena asked her. Cinder could spot a bluff when she saw one, but she wouldn’t call her out on anything yet. This person knows exactly where she’s at, hell on earth, why she’d willingly come here was the real question. Cinder thought she must be a spy, who’s though she wasn’t sure. She replied that there’s not much to tell, that the crowded part of town that housed Menzoberranzan’s poor and destitute was a miserable place to find oneself in. She told her that what she really wanted was to explore Faerûn, to go wherever she pleased… to go where Lolth could not. This caught Iivxena’s attention, this is why she really comes here. As they sipped on stolen wine, Cinder learned that this visitor indeed did more than just trade. Iivxena was a Secret Moondancer, a follower of Eilistraee, the perfect person to guide her to the surface.
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After some quick and careful planning they left together, stopping only to pick up Cinder’s things from her hiding spot. They would make their way far from the city, as close to the surface as possible before making camp. As much as she would’ve loved poisoning every last one of the Spider Queen’s clergy, making some sort of grand exit, it would have put an enormous target on her back. Best to simply disappear herself. She told herself that no one would be looking for her, all while privately dreading that slavers would come hunt her down. Lolth has no love for her children, only ensnares those she deems useful. Cinder hoped that after all those years of striking down whoever she was told to, buying time for herself, she hadn’t been claimed as an essential asset or declared a traitor of the Dark Mother with a bounty on her head.
They came up on a subterranean river, planning to climb the waterfall that fed it and camp in its mouth. “Wait,” Iivxena came to a halt, gripping her staff a bit tighter. “Something’s different… ready your bow.” Cinder’s ears pricked, her eyes narrowed, searching for movement among the stalagmites and glowing fungi. Suddenly, they were met with a flurry of arrows and the two dove for cover.
A familiar voice rose from the chaos, it sang out: “Ciiiinder, come out, come out!” It was Dhauzana, and she was joined by two archers. Iivxena cast a shield of faith around Cinder. So, she was a cleric instead of a sorcerer like the guild members had believed.
“I’ve been dying to slit your throat since we were kids!” Dhauzana taunted.
Cinder returned their hectic volley with the precision of a sniper, hitting one of their assailants right between the eyes. An arrow grazed her shoulder as she bolted for a better angle.
“You’ll be buried with that dying wish!” Cinder yelled back. Iivxena’s daylight spell pushed the two assassins out of the shadows, which had now become filled with blinding light. The male drow shielded his eyes, unable to see Cinder charging towards him with her shortsword. That bright, paralyzing light was the last thing he saw.
Dhauzana gathered her bearings and came at Cinder with a piercing yell, long daggers in each hand. She swiped ferociously at Cinder, stopping only to dodge a guiding bolt from Iivxena. Cinder found her opening and thrust her sword under Dhauzana’s ribs, pushing her to the ground while losing her balance. Cinder found herself crouched on top of Dhauzana, but jumped up at the sight of her longtime rival and enemy, now choking on her own blood, the life slowly draining from her eyes.
They stood over the body that once was Dhauzana, panting. Iivxena exhaled a laugh. “Wow, you’re good! Like, really good, that was incredible!”
In one quick motion Cinder pushed her up against the cave wall, her bloody blade at the nape of Iivxena’s neck. Iivxena gasped, surprise and fear flashed across her face, as Cinder brought hers close. Cinder’s mind raced and her voice rose in anguish. “What was that, really? An ambush? Are you some sort of– of trick? Another of Lolth’s tests?”
Iivxena was genuinely shocked, hands raised in surrender. “What?! Cinder, please think about it, how could I have set that up? I’ve been with you this whole time.”
Cinder’s brow furrowed, she breathed hard, blood pounding in her head. She studied Iivxena and saw that she was telling the truth. They’ve had eyes on them ever since they left Menzoberranzan, the network of Lolth’s spiders spread word of their movements towards the surface, but it couldn’t have been Iivxena’s doing. And she had fiercely protected her, without her, Cinder might have been killed. Cinder backed off, she sheathed her blade and anxiously ran her fingers through her hair.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I thought– I thought they were going to drag me back there.”
“It’s okay, I understand… you’re scared.” Cinder winced, words she’s heard her whole life echo in her mind, that to be afraid is to be weak. Iivxena paused, and carefully took Cinder’s hand in both of hers, looking her in the eyes. “You don’t have to be scared anymore. Once we’re out of here, you’ll be safe with our people. You’ll be free, I promise.”
Iivxena let go of her hand, she chuckled and added “If anything, whoever crosses your path should be afraid of you. You’re quite the fighter.” Cinder smiled back as Iivxena picked up their things. She felt glad to not have to take on this journey alone. The extra set of eyes helped to spot any danger lurking in the dark, and Iivxena was proving to be pleasant company. “Clearly we can’t camp here, but that’s okay, I know another spot, it’s not too far. Think you can keep moving for a little bit longer, deadshot?” Cinder nodded and they continued their ascent.
Trust is a near impossible thing to come by in drow culture, but Iivxena was different. There was a spark in her eyes that the darkness couldn’t snuff out, it was at the same time enchanting yet sincere. Now that the assassins had been dealt with, Iivxena almost started to shimmer with relief and excitement. Cinder had never seen this side to anyone before, and finally she felt she could unclench, relax, and fully breathe in the air of this immense cavern. Had the mushrooms always glowed this brightly? Had the chirping sound of Underdark insects always been this melodic?
Iivxena hummed tunes along the way, she told Cinder she couldn’t wait to get back home and play her harp. She leaves it behind for journeys to the Underdark, much safer that way. If anyone found out who she really was, they would kill her. The only personal trinket she wears is her silver sword pendant around her neck, hidden under her blouse. A sign perhaps, Cinder thought, that this is exactly where she was meant to be.
Music and dance, joy and kindness are the underpinnings of Eilistraeean worship, in complete contradiction to the constricting web of Lolth. Cinder was entering an entirely different world, physically and mentally. She knew that the light that trickled down from the mouth of the cave would be blinding, but she never had so much hope in her heart that her future would be brighter than her past.
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Cinder lived with Iivxena for a while, following the teachings of the community’s sword masters, learning how to play stringed instruments, and basking in the light of Eilistraee. Leaving that trench felt like a weight lifted off her shoulders. For the first time in her life she tasted the flavor of freedom, and it was unbelievably sweet. She devoted herself to defending these people who so kindly took her in, and made a private oath to help the less fortunate, to help people like herself. Having gone on her first Run ritual, Cinder returned invigorated and more experienced with life on the surface.
Still, she felt restless, this beautiful forested enclave could not be her home forever. As much as she had healed from her past, old wounds would resurface from time to time, along with a new kind of hurt. She loved Iivxena. She loved her dulcet voice, how she wore wildflowers in her plaited silver hair, the way she tenderly held Cinder’s hands as they danced in the moonlight. When Cinder would wake from night terrors, visions of spiders crawling, falling from her mouth, Iivxena was right there and would hold her until they fell asleep.
She plucked at Cinder’s heartstrings as easily as she made her harp sing. Each kind word, each gentle touch had a sting to it, because Iivxena was betrothed to another. She had been courting Nilophrin for years and they were to be wed in the Love-Binding ritual. They belonged together, it was obvious, both of them pillars of the community, as devoted to each other as they were to their cause. Cinder thought their partnership made sense, more so than anything she could ever have with Iivxena.
Song - First Love Late Spring
Cinder felt she had to move on, explore the wilds of Faerûn, make a life for herself while following the teachings of the community that taught her how to love, how to be free. She traveled, sold her potions (and some poisons here and there, the concoctions are useful tools in the right hands), and acted as a sell-sword for small communities that lacked defenses. She was free, but alone all over again.
She worked hard to be good, to embody the truth that no one is inherently evil, even if that's all they've known for most of their lives. Not everyone she met during her travels was welcoming, but she didn’t let that stop her. She pushed herself in order to prove herself worthy of kindness, of coin, of a safe place to stay. Still, she struggled with loving herself, the guilt from her past hung to her thoughts. Unwinding with the burning sensation from smoke and drink in her throat evolved from a habit into a nightly ritual.
Song - I Don’t Like My Mind
After a few years of traveling, she found herself in Baldur’s Gate, searching for a connection to the rumored Nine-Fingers Thieves Guild. She was on the terrace of the Elfsong Tavern, had asked for a light for her ziran blunt from a shifty-eyed sorcerer she had been staking out, when the attack happened. A giant tentacled ship manifested in the sky, zooming over the rooftops, picking off civilians one by one. Cinder ran through an alley, she spotted a door up ahead but just as she reached for it, suddenly she was unable to move. She was trapped in an alien-like pod, the sound of screams echoing through the halls of the illithid ship. The next thing she knew, a slimy psionic creature with rows upon rows of tiny teeth was being placed on her left cheek and began to inch its way toward her eye.
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Cinder found herself lying on the beach, infected with this ilithid tadpole nestled between her brain and her skull, yet somehow completely unharmed from the crash. Around her, the remnants of the ship were burning and sending up a billowing cloud of smoke. She wondered if that githyanki warrior or the half-elf woman with long dark hair had survived as well. It wasn’t long before she found them though, also infected but unscathed, and all able to share thoughts with one another. Peculiar.
They found others too, a pale elf named Astarian, Gale the wizard from Waterdeep, Wyll Ravenguard, son of a well-known duke from Baldur’s Gate, and the woman he had been hunting in accordance to his warlock pact, Karlach.
Cinder fell in love with Karlach, the tiefling barbarian with an infernal engine placed where her heart should be. In all her time trapped in the Hells, forced to fight in the Blood War, Karlach never lost her sense of humor. Joy radiated off of her as much as the immense heat. She was strong and beautiful and she was free at last. Cinder had dreams of living the rest of her life with Karlach, of one day performing the Eilistraeean Love-Binding Ceremony with her.
Song - Heaven
But Karlach’s heart would continue to burn and eventually turn her to ash unless she returned to Avernus. Karlach had resigned herself to death, and would fight until her very last breath as long as it meant that the Sword Coast would be safe, that her love would be safe. Cinder couldn’t bear the thought of it. If Karlach’s only option was to return to the Hells, Cinder would go with her in a heartbeat. She’d lived in her own hell and made it out alive, maybe they could do the same now, together.
She wracked her brain trying to find the answers to their problems: Karlach’s heart, the approaching army led by the Dead Three’s chosen and an elder brain, and a mind flayer using the powers of the githyanki prince bound by infernal chains. It was the power from this figure of githyanki legend that protected Cinder and her allies from becoming mind flayers themselves. A lot to think about…
Song - My Love Mine All Mine
