My Patron Left Me On Read

Hex Haver, Spell Shooter, Curse Caster. She/Her, main @jolteongirltja, unreality

[literal-warlock]

So apparently I am no longer allowed to use time travel spells.

[literal-warlock]

Apparently a bunch of nerds (wizards) all got together to specifically ban ME from time magic

They deadass performed a whole ritual sacrifice to my patron to convince them that they should not let me do time magic

[literal-warlock]

how was I supposed to know that the mountain where the Star of Zeal fell and absorbed evil energy was the prison of an ancient fell lord and that HE was the source of the energy the star absorbed and not the mountain (which I did blow up)

[literal-warlock]

So apparently I am no longer allowed to use time travel spells.

[literal-warlock]

Apparently a bunch of nerds (wizards) all got together to specifically ban ME from time magic

They deadass performed a whole ritual sacrifice to my patron to convince them that they should not let me do time magic

[literal-warlock]

So apparently I am no longer allowed to use time travel spells.

[bodyfeeling]

op turned off reblogs but i want this post on my blog

[zzoupz]

I know basically nothing about tarot cards but I absolutely need to make this a reality

[literal-warlock]

Where should I do my next ritual for my patron:

Abandoned Burger King

Outside of a government building

Voting ended onApr 9, 2025

[literal-warlock]

Burger King it is! But if you voted for the Government Building, don’t worry because I have EXCELLENT news about the purpose of the ritual :)))))

[boatgrave-deactivated20250901]

[mysteryteacup]

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

[literal-warlock]

Where should I do my next ritual for my patron:

Abandoned Burger King

Outside of a government building

Voting ended onApr 9, 2025

[literal-warlock]

Withering

[m0nomercy]

human warlock miku!!!

can you believe i only have one miku left to post... chat.... omg

SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR BARD!

[literal-warlock]

It’s not a coincidence that historically there were Patrons of the Arts that would pay artists lots of money and give them stuff in exchange for art

[literal-warlock]

What I’m trying to say is that the Medici family were some kind of pact forming entities.

[literal-warlock]

It’s not a coincidence that historically there were Patrons of the Arts that would pay artists lots of money and give them stuff in exchange for art

[lofijazz]

🙈🙉🫥🔐🪬🏃🏻‍♂️👨🏻🏃🏻‍♂️🪬🔐🫥🙉🙈

Emoji spell to keep the shooter of the CEO of United Healthcare safe and never caught

Like to charge

Reblog to cast

[muzzledmikey]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[literal-warlock]

My patron said I have to "Chill out with the beams of death" and like?????? What else am I supposed to use them for???? Why'd you give me the ability to have them if I can't use them liberally???

[literal-warlock]

I don't know how else to say this but IEPs count as Warlock pacts

[all-encompassing-hero]

As much as I love the classic "Warlock who made a dubious deal with an evil entity for power" thing, I think we need to branch out more, so here are some random ideas I have floating around in my head.

Person who found and adopted a lost child before finding out that child was actually a young demon. (They get new powers by bribing their child with toys or sweets)

Married couple where one of them is a demon or devil and the other is their Warlock. ("Hey, why can't you use your powers right now?" "My wife and I got into a fight.")

Kid whose parents are a demon and a human who gets their powers from their demonic parent. (This might just be Fig Faeth from Fantasy High)

Patron who acts like an e-girl Twitch streamer with a Warlock who has to "subsrcibe" to higher and higher tiers to get new abilities. ("What's up, guys? Today, we're gonna be reacting to my Warlock killing a bunch of bandits.")

[hellsitegenetics]

Has anyone tried to send you a carefully composed ask before that specifically contains the genome of something they intend?

Now you'd think that by sending this ask, I may have done this very thing. But that would be too much effort for me.

Or is it....

REVEAL THE BEAST

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String identified: a a t t a ca c a tat cca cta t g tg t t?

' t tat g t a, a a t tg. t tat t c t .

t….

A T AT

Closest match: Fringilla coelebs genome assembly, chromosome: 8 Common name: Eurasian chaffinch

[mustachewashitape]