Help me, I'm new

Like really, very new. I need a tumblr mentor. Or, just... a mentor for life in general.

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Did anyone else lose 10% of their body weight within 8 weeks of moving away for uni? I am now dangerously close to being underweight... wth

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Is it just me or does Simon Cowell give Agamemnon vibes...?

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Saw a dodgy-looking old lady physically shove and kick two teenage girls (who had done nothing to warrant this treatment) out of the disabled area on the bus today...

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Amazon put my package in one of the top boxes of the locker. I couldn't reach it and had to ask a random passer-by for help. I guess I'll just check the wheelchair option next time I order something.

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last day

Had my last day of school ever today. Seven years over. Only exams left to do, then we're all off to uni, going our separate ways.

Everyone was crying.

I was not.

Should I have been crying?

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My mum just told me about something that happened to her this morning...

She was walking to work, cutting through the park, minding her own business, when she was approached by two young boys. One looked about 11, while the other looked maybe 8 or 9. And they asked her if she had any cigarettes. Now, cigarette smokers come in all shapes and sizes, but my mum doesn't exactly look like the type of person who'd smoke. Regardless, she didn't have cigarettes, and certainly wouldn't have given them away to children even if she did. So she just told them 'no'. In response, they yelled 'liar!' at her, and told her she 'looks like a porn-star'. I'm not sure what kind of porn they're watching, and I'd be surprised if they even knew what porn really is, but my mum most certainly does not look like a porn-star. Especially not in that baggy beige cardigan she was wearing.

In conclusion, I worry for the younger generation.

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Things heard in my philosophy a-level class:

"I've slammed Descartes like three times in this essay already..."

"I always imagine Hume coming in on a skateboard, wearing sunglasses."

"I was explaining intuition and deduction thesis to my mum and now she hates Descartes."

"I actually liked Aristotle until he said that only white, male philosophers can flourish."

"... the evil demon, a.k.a. Mr. Phillippou, ..." [an ex-philosophy teacher of our school]

The teacher: "left-handed people are superior. I tried to force my kids to be left-handed when they were learning to write..."

"Descartes pisses me the fuck off."

"... G. E. Moore, a.k.a. G. E. Awful, ..."

"I love error theory. It just says that everyone is wrong all the time."

"What's that guy in the Gettier example with the barns called?" "Barney." "No, no, it's Henry." "Wait, Henry? I thought it was Harry!"

"I always remember that name because my great aunt named her pet rabbit 'Carruthers'."

"But the concept of infinity doesn't make sense!" "Well, according to Georg Cantor's set theory, it does." "What even is set theory, then?" "Don't even go there. You don't need to know, so just don't ask."

"Onto and Teleo are okay, but I just can't with Cosmo. Don't even get me started on Aquinas' ways..."

"Eschatological verification is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. No offence to Hick or anything..."

"Do you think Richard Hare's friends ever called him 'Dick Hair'?"

"I don't understand how some people can even doubt qualia..."

"P-zombies freak me out."

"So you'd be willing to concede that if everyone in China had walkie-talkies, they'd be considered a mind?" "... I mean, yeah. Why not?" "You're not supposed to say yes!"

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What day is it?

On Saturday, this girl came into the store I work at to apply for a job. She handed in her CV, and my manager asked her to just write down the days she could work. She wrote down a few days, then asked if we're open on Saturdays. It was a Saturday. I bet she felt a bit stupid after that. Not the best first impression...

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I feel like my social anxiety gets in the way of me being flamboyant a lot, and I just think it's sad that hardly anyone knows that side of me. Just wish I could be myself without worrying, and that I could know that people like me for me, not whoever I've portrayed myself as.

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Reasons why I do love my cats

1. They're cute. Sometimes. 2. They do dumb things that I can laugh at. 3. I can brag about them to other people who don't have pets.

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Reasons why I don't love my cats

1. They sit on whatever I'm doing. My laptop. My homework. My board-games. My book. My piano. My newspaper - they love sitting on the newspapers. 2. They bring in all kinds of things from the garden... mice that end up running round the house, slugs in their fur that they don't even notice which we then have to comb out (they have very thick, long fur, which makes them fluffy and warm, but also sucks)... 3. Fleas. 4. They're useless. Literally useless. They're scared of spiders. What's the point of having cats if they can't get rid of the spiders for you? 5. They always want attention when you're busy, but whenever you want to play or cuddle with them, they act all aloof or run away. 6. They don't do anything all day. They just eat all the food we pay for, and sleep. 7. They throw up in the most inconvenient places (my bed). 8. They have dumb, Harry-Potter-themed names: Fluffy (after the three-headed dog) and Norbert (after the baby dragon - yes I know she turned out to be Norberta, we're ignoring that). (The dumb names are my fault though, since I named them. Why did my family let me do that?) 9. They grow up too fast. Honestly, they used to be small and cute. Now they're older. And fat. Fluffy is so, so fat.

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Driving test

I just failed my driving test. Because I was driving too slowly.

Guess what speed I was going...?

55 mph. The road was a 70. (It was a dual-carriageway.) I am a learner. Sorry I wasn't ready to drive 70 mph, considering I'd never done it before. Seems a bit unfair to me.

Oh well. I'll just book the next available test... oh wait, there aren't any.

[literallywhyamidoingthis]

Who needs comedians when you have crazy siblings to make you laugh...

So. I have a sister. She's sixteen, and currently studying for her GCSEs. She also has ADHD. The medication she takes for her ADHD puts her in one of two moods: surly and monosyllabic OR energetic and (as my mother describes her) 'high as a kite'.

This morning, she has been the latter. She has also been revising, with my mother's help. Or at least, trying to. Unfortunately, being hyperactive and highly distractible means she is getting little work done. I myself, being just down the hall in my own bedroom trying to revise, have also been getting little work done, because they are being incredibly noisy.

As annoying as this is, it is also highly amusing... Here are some of the things I've heard in the past hour:

My mum: what's in the nucleus of a cell? My sister: for god's sake! I don't fucking know, you fucking fuck! Mum: yes you do. Come on, what's in the nucleus? Sister: erm... protons and neutrons. Mum: no, that's the nucleus of an atom. We're doing biology.

Mum: how do you spell 'meiosis'? Sister: M-A-I-S-O-E-E-I-S... (She's also dyslexic)

Mum: come on, focus. What are the four stages of mitosis? Sister: there aren't four stages, mum.

Sister: where's my can? [her drink] Mum: I took it. Sister: *screams into a pillow*

Mum: so what is mitosis for? Sister: reflections...

Mum: what do ribosomes do? Sister: I don't know. Mum: I'm not sure either... Sister: maybe something to do with proteins... Mum: ooh yeah that sounds about right.

Sister: *randomly yells/sings* 'E-I-E-I-O!'

Mum: oh shit I spelt 'meiosis' wrong... Sister: YOU LITTLE FUCKING BITCH!!!

Mum: where would I find a chromosome in the body? Sister: in the nose.

Sister: *starts singing 'umbrella' by Rihanna*

Sister: science is pointless. We don't know anything! We just pretend we do to feel better about ourselves. Mum: oh this old shite again...

Mum: which one is for reproduction? Sister: ...20, 21, 22, 23, 24...

Mum: in sexual reproduction, what are the two gametes that meet? Sister: A WILLY AND A PENIS!! Oh wait...

Mum: give me three purposes of mitosis. Sister: *singing/yelling* IN THE JUNGLE THE MIGHTY JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT...!!

Mum: ...so all of your DNA is called your genome... Sister: WHY ARE YOU POINTING AT MY ARSE!?!!?

Mum: so the cell splits - Sister: like a banana. Mum: what? Oh, yes, a banana split.

Mum: what happens in cytokinesis? Sister: that's when there are 'cyclopses' and they are killing everyone...

If anyone out there is reading this, I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me.

[literallywhyamidoingthis]

my random-ass thoughts

I don't know Tumblr etiquette (or social etiquette in general), so don't judge me (but feel free to inform me - e.g., if someone follows me do I follow them back??).

But anyway, I'm just going to treat this like talking into a void. For therapeutic purposes, of course.

Now for the first of many musings I will share with you...

Do all people with houseplants treat their plants like pets? Or is that just me? Actually, I think I prefer my plants to my pets; plants are much less unpredictable and you can always rely on them to be there for you.

Also, side note: is it weird to name my plants? I didn't think so, but others have told me it is. It's just like naming pets... isn't it?

okay this is making me nervous but it's unlikely that anyone will even see this byeee

[literallywhyamidoingthis]

Just got this account because I need more people to talk to, but then realised that I have nothing interesting to say.