spikeās changing perception of love and his actions surrounding how to show it is such an interesting conceptā¦
as a human, spike, or william, was never shown love in a true way. he loved his mother, and he took care of her. he showed love to a girl in his town, and he was made fun of and shut down. he was a bit pathetic (and i donāt mean this as an insult, itās just one of the only words to describe what iām trying to convey). when he becomes a vampire, he turns his mother in an act of love to cure her sickness (as another post has mentioned before), but she becomes cruel, and in another act of love, he kills her. he ultimately ends the life of the one person he cared about completely as a human.
then there is the power dynamic between drusilla and spike, as i think there always is between the sire and the sired. she knows more about the world and changes him to be like her. despite her mental state, she has the upper hand about what they are and how they should act. that isnāt to say that they donāt truly love each other; it just presents another obstacle.
i am a spuffy shipper all the way, but I do love dru and spikeās relationship as well. however, it is built on obsession and violence. spikeās birth as a vampire is due to his death as a human by druās hands (or fangs lol). they do grand acts of violence for each other. they are aggressive and passionate with one another. they love each other (this can be seen not just through their actions but through the episode with the judge when he says he can sense love and jealousy in both dru and spike). but this love is not built on things that we associate love with. it is built on violence, sex, passion, but also a strong sense of loyalty.
when spike realizes he loves buffy, he is taking his own perception of love that he has developed throughout his life. from what weāve seen, he does not have experience as a human, so most of his definition is being taken from his time as a vampire. we see this deep caring he has for buffy, but he has no way to convey it properly. he kidnaps her and threatens to kill dru to prove his devotion to her, by killing the person he loved first.
however, he sees the fault in his ways. heās fiercely loyal to her by the fifth season. heās willing to sacrifice himself for dawn; heās willing to put his life on the line in a way he hasnāt for anyone before. he counts the days buffy is dead and continues to fight with her friends. he helps her fight her way out of her depression.
he tells her that she belongs in the darkness with him because he truly thinks that. what friend was really trying to help her after they resurrected her? do i agree with him? no, but also what image of healthy love does he have to look back on? none.
(i do not take into account the actions of āseeing redā. in all honesty, i act like they didnāt happen because of the reasons behind it being petty and cruel *cough cough joss* and sending james to therapy etc etc etc, just a disclaimer)
so spike gradually learns how to love. properly. he gets his soul back to prove he can be the type of man she could love. to be worthy. and that is something so beautiful. he didnāt force buffy to show him how to love. he did it himself. for her. he learned how to love with and without his soul. he made the decision to get his soul back when he still didnāt have one.
his character is so interesting to me because he is a goofy guy but heās also deep and deeply flawed. i have a lot of thoughts obviously but this explains some.
