.toast expert.

you don't need a license to drive a sandwich

[animatedtext]

[mothcub]

Please clap for him.

[legendary-scholar-deactivated20]

Fireflies photograph in trees with long time exposure.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

He was right: I do not believe my eyes.

[huffylemon]

Happy Halloween

[spookyskeletonblog]

[dogsdotcom]

every day of my life i scream and cry and throw up bc i dont have this jumper

[thoodleoo]

touching grass is not enough i need to see the night sky as it looked to an ancient greek

[ambiguousdisorderken]

im a bisexual with a bad knee bet most of you are too

[honeypleasejustkillme]

“are you seeing anyone” you mean like a hallucination??

[daughtertosuicide]

or a therapist?? you gotta be specific

[sweatermuppet]

being in yr 20s is abt experiencing the worst thing you can imagine & then having to go to the grocery store

[sweatermuppet]

[sobs until im physically ill] [buys greek yogurt] [repeat]

[hornyspice]

remember when spongebob got pranked by squidward on april fools

[nvvr]

you should be able to call in sad to work

[imperviousthot]

thanks for making me this hot tea bro. Why did the steam make the shape of a skull and crossbones when you stirred it lol

[wyldstallyn]

this post is for broccoli fans ONLY 🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦 broccoli i love you

[thyrell]

everyone on this website except me needs to shut up

[crimegoku]

*sticks to you*

[thyrell]

everyone on this website except me and this swag ass lizard needs to shut up

[thyrell]

they dont make bombs that are a big black ball with a string sticking out of it anymore

[ruinedchildhood]

[pavelow]

Can you be held in contempt of court if your hearing is over zoom? Like how would they enforce that

[pavelow]

I am going to drink an inappropriate amount of milk during my zoom court hearing in about an hour

[pavelow]

[pavelow]

There is now an official court record of me being asked to stop drinking milk