We're his little henchmen And we take our job with pride We do our best to please him And stay on his good side I'm not the dumb one! Barrel Adamson, sad boy
perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky / looking for alaska by john green / the worm kingās lullaby by richard siken / an abundance of katherines by john green / the body by stephen king
If you take Alaskaās genetic code and you add her life experiences and the relationships she had with people and then you take the size and shape of her body, you do not get her. There is something else entirely. Thereās a part of her greater than the sum of her knowable parts. And that part has to go somewhere, because energy once created is never destroyed. And if Alaska took her own lifeā¦ that is the hope I wish I could have given her, to understand that anything in life is survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be.Ā So I know she forgives me just as I forgive her. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. We can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. I know so many last words, but Iāll never know hers. Iāll never know her thoughts in those last minutes. Weāll never know if she left us on purpose. But the not knowing will not keep me from caring. Alaskaās last words to me were: āTo be continued.ā And she was right. I must continue. I choose the labyrinth, even if there is no way out, even if weāre all going, even if everything falls apart.
āWhen I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets meāI have to remember my cat. I canāt keep my cat if I get into trouble.ā
āI asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. āOf course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, itās the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But Iāll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone elseās cat.āā
i really love this program i feel like my heart is going to burst. there are so many great things about this program, these animals were going to be euthanized but they are being taken care of by people who need that kind of relationship for their mental well being. the prison system in america is messed up but this is definitely a step in the right direction. its such an innovative solution to both the issue of the negative social and psychological impact that prisons have and lowering the euthanization rates in animal shelters.
āweāre not just saving four-legged lives, weāre saving two-legged lives.ā
Itās a proven fact that having inmates, even extremely violent criminals, care for a creature that is small and āhelplessā has a positive impact on the criminals brain wiring. Where before they may have had little or even no regard for life, even their own, the animals foster a sense of empathy and responsibility. The inmate begins to consider the animals needs with every choice they make.
āI cant get into this fight cuse Iāll be put in solitary and my cat will miss me.ā
āIf I do some extra work in x area (laundry, kitchen, ect) I can earn credit for the store (many low security prisons have little general stores where they can buy things like cigarettes, chips, ect) and by Miss Molly that sweet catnip mouse.ā
āNeed to be on good behavior cuse when I get out I can give my cat a better life than this cell.ā
And once out of prison, parolees have a reason to find legitimate work to get things their pet needs or get them special treats and toys. Often a parolee that just has to care for themselves will be able to justify either not getting something they themselves need or not working legitimately for those needs. When they do it for a pet, they often feel a real sense of accomplishment and believe their pet is proud of them for working hard.
Not to mention the effect animals have on depression and anxiety. Coming home to a pet that loves unconditionally after a hard day at work really makes it worth it.
When my cat says āyes I will allow you to touch the softest parts of me, yes I will allow you to see me at my most vulnerable, yes I will call out to you when I wake in an empty room, yes I will seek you out when I need to feel safe and seen, yes I will stand guard so that you can sleep, I cannot tell you I love you but you know, I know that you know, I cannot tell you that I love you, so I will show itā I cry
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?
takes place: dec. 28
in which Barrel and Su say goodbye...
@princess-su
[tw: discussion of death, literally one of the most bittersweet things iāve ever rpād im tearing up as i post this oh my god]
BARREL:
Barrel stood at the train station. Luckily for him, he didnāt have much to pack and it had all fit in this old suitcase that heād found at Whosits. Most of his clothes and stuff had burned back in the fire in August. He had some new stuff that Shock and Lock had bought him with Anthonyās credit card. He had some Christmas presents. He had things from the Qins. He had the Nintendo Switch that Lock had given him for Christmas.
The one Lock had not gotten to see him open.
That one was actually in his backpack.
His train was theoretically coming in fifteen minutes, but heād wanted to get here early. The train would take him to a little suburb outside of Cardiff, Ā Holley Shiftwell Ā had told him, where he would meet a short, dark-haired woman with bangs named Jane who would escort him to a family. Theyāre really nice, Holley had reassured him. Weāve been working with them for years ā they looked after me when my parents were in Russia.
This was the right decision. Barrel would finish up school in Wales. Barbie and Holley told him the RAS would take care of all the paperwork. Shock said sheād pay for any university he needed, if he decided to go with that. He wouldnāt be anyoneās problem. He could figure out a life for himself.
But he glanced at Su now, and with a pang to his heart, he wondered if this was the right decision.
She was the only one whoād accompanied him to the station. He didnāt know where Mei was, but heād left her a note. Heād cracked Tingās door open to say goodbye and sheād jumped up, apologizing over and over about how sheād forgotten and how she could be ready in just a second. But he told her it was no worry. That he could go on his own. Ting-Ting looked tired. She looked like how he felt a lot of the time, like he wanted to cry Ā but had a hard time figuring out how to start the tears.
That was why he was leaving.
The Qins thought it was social services who stepped in after Ting reported it all to the police, which wasnāt super far from the truth, Holley had said. He could still write to them and text them and play Animal Crossing with Su.
āIāll send you a Dodo code as soon as I get my wifi set up in Wales,ā he told her right now, trying to smile.
SU:
The day had come too quick. Thatās what Su wanted to tell Barrel when he spoke of Dodo codes and wifi. She didnāt want to think about how theyād have to do that method now instead of the easier, closer local play option. It was less of a hassle, honestly.
Of all things for her to focus on when Barrel spoke, that had to be the silliest. But she would rather think of something silly that could help her return the small, sad smile than the reality of the situation. The reality of their lives now. Lives that would now be lived apart.
Which, really, was the normal for them. Honestly, theyād only become so close within the past year. Only met each other in that time as well. But the tragedies theyāve stood by each other throughout, it made her feel like sheād known him for a lifetime. And now that life was coming to an end. Waiting like this train, ready to whisk Barrel - her friend, someone dear to her - away.
It was selfish to feel this way, she knows, enlight of everything thatās happened to him. Itās why she didnāt say any of this and simply nodded, hands gripped tight together behind her back as she looked at her feet. āYou better. I'm going to start setting up a fun New Yearās firework show and I need you to see it.ā
This was the right decision. He deserved to leave this pain behind, even if that means leaving Swynlake. And whatever decisions he makes going forward, sheād support him. Because she was his friend, and he deserved a soft epilogue, if you will, after the chaos of his teenage years, his childhood.
āYou stay warm too. Itās really cold out today, and going to be even colder tonight,ā She fussed, moving closer to fix his jacket, as if doing so would just make it warmer.
BARREL:
At the mention of New Yearās, Barrel remembered something. It hit him with a jolt and he immediately bent to reach for his bag ā just as Su reached for his jacket.
āWoops sorry ā ā Their foreheads almost collided. Barrel felt his face flush. He looked at Su. She was very near him. She smelled very nice. She was very warm.
He was going to miss her a lot.
That thought also hit him with a jolt.
He knew he was gonna miss Swynlake ā miss school and his friends and going to soccer games and working the counter in Whosits. He was going to miss the Qin house and how it always smelled like something yummy and he was going to miss Ting randomly singing and Mei laughing and MuHou telling stories. He was going to miss Su, but it didnāt hit him till right now how much.
She was very pretty.
Also, at one point heād reached for her hand as it rested on the collar of his jacket. He didnāt realize that till right now.
āI got you a birthday present,ā he said. He realized he was still holding her hand and let it go. āItās in my bag ā one second ā ā
He rifled through his backpack and pulled out a little gift bag from the front pocket. His cheeks felt very warm still. Hadnāt Su said it was cold? It didnāt feel cold.
āYou can open it now if you want,ā he said, handing her the bag. āIām sorry for missing your birthday. I got this ā¦ well, before everything. I hope you like it.ā
Heād picked out the gift because of Animal Crossing, but also because Su liked plants and her magic was plants and Barrel always thought that was so fitting.
SU:
āSorry,ā Su also said, the apology mixing with his in the wind at their clumsiness. But she chuckled a little. āMy bad.ā
His hand at some point came to hold hers. It was big and warm compared to her tiny ones that always struggled to hold any heat. It fit perfectly, she thought. Comfortable and safe. Like that night so long ago when heād first come to the Qinsā home. Somehow, heād seemed so small then. Someone she wanted to protect and cradle in her world, inside their home of magic.
When did she have to tilt her head up so high to look at him?
She blinked just as she did so, his words taking a moment to process as his hand left hers and then she was holding a present. āBirthday presentā¦?ā She questioned, looking at it a moment longer before realizing - oh yeah. Her birthday. She was going to be seventeen at the start of the new year.
Her face warmed as she smiled down into the bag. Of all things he was worried aboutā¦
āThank you, you didnāt have toā¦ā She started, quickly opening it so he could see her reaction. And she hoped it didnāt disappoint. Honestly, anything Barrel would give her, she would have loved, but something about this necklaceā¦ Why did she want to cry? She held it in. Instead, she smiled wide and looked at him. āItās so pretty, Barrel! I love it!ā She said, before throwing herself on him in a hug. Trying to hide those tears. āI promise Iāll always wear it.ā
BARREL:
Su hugged him.
His arms fit around her waist, pulling her closer. Truth be told, he was crying a little bit too now, though he didnāt realize she was crying, only that he was crying and he didnāt want Su to see that he was crying.
For a second, he wanted to stay.
He thought about what it would mean to stay. To graduate from Swynlake Secondary. To go to Pride U with the money that Shock had given him. To continue living with the Qins, and sitting for dinner and Sunday morning pancakes. He thought about that for a moment, clinging to a warm, impossible dream.
Because he knew it was impossible. Because it wouldnāt be the life he thought it would. Because Lock was dead and Shock was gone and everything had changed. He didnāt know what that would mean for the future in his head, but Barbie had offered him a way out. A place where Lock and Shock didnāt haunt every corner. A place where his parents had never touched.
For the first time in his life, Barrel saw the possibilities that offered. He had to take it.
Heād just miss Su a lot.
He pulled away to tell her this, to try and say something about how he really wanted that other life ā the one where he stayed, the one where he went to Pride U, the one where they got to celebrate her birthday together and eat pancakes ā how he wanted that one to happen, but at the same time, he wanted it to never happen, because it was golden, warm, bright, and untouched by reality.
In some pocket universe, it happened and it was very nice over there and he was very happy for that.
He wanted to tell this to Su and he looked down at her, about to, but the words were too complicated and Barrel wasnāt good with words, so somewhere along the line, Ā they got caught in his throat. He didnāt know how to say what he wanted to say, so instead of saying any of that, he leaned down and pressed his lips to Su's.
It was a short kiss ā short and golden and warm and bright.
SU:
Stay.
The plea was on the tip of her tongue. Su felt it. Even as she tried to smother it and the rest of the storm in her mind. Donāt leave me in this mess alone. She didnāt feel strong enough. Even as she held onto him now, she felt maybe if she let go, heād never leave. She could keep him here with her, and then maybe things would go back to normal.
But that was selfish and untrue, no matter how loud her thoughts were.
Then everything seemed to go silent with a sudden kiss.
Her eyes widened. Her face flushed. Sheād never been kissed before. Her first kiss. And it was a kiss goodbye. Despite how bittersweet it was, she felt incredibly warm. And her fingers curled into his coat, pulling him closer into the kiss - only for a few seconds more, itād feel like it was just them there. She wished that were true.
But with one bold action, she knew one thing: she knew Barrel would be okay. She knew things would be far from easy but - she believed in him. Believed in him and the person she knew heād grow to be while also staying the kind boy she met in the Swynlake Secondary cafeteria and let into their home. It was the only reason she was able to pull away with the kiss with a warm smile.
āWeāre going to be okay. I promise,ā She said, smiling while wiping at her tears, the necklace still clutched in her hand. āYouāll always have a home with us too, if you ever want to come back, even for a visit.ā
A visit. Yeah, that would be nice. And then this would be less like a goodbye and more like...see you later. Su liked that a lot better. Even if later was...years from now.
BARREL:
He had to go.
Barrel was even more sure of this after kissing Su.
It had been a nice kiss. He liked it a lot. It was a very good first kiss (he didnāt even realize it was his first kiss till right now and now he felt very bubbly and light that Su had been his first kiss). And maybe one day they could kiss again. Maybe one day.
But Barrel had to figure out who he was and what he was going to be that one day. Barrel had spent nearly 18 years of his life defined by Shock and Lock. He loved them. He loved them more than anything ā including himself.
He needed to figure out who he was without them. He couldnāt do that in Swynlake, not in the home where his brother died and his sister left, not a few streets down from the burned remains of their house. He had to do that on his own. In Wales, which was not so far away.
He could always visit.
There was a future for Barrel. For maybe the first time in his life, there was a future.
āThank you for everything, Su,ā he said, gently touching her hair. āI donāt know how I wouldāveā¦ without you and your sisters. Without youā¦ā His voice trailed off and he reached for her hand to give it another squeeze. āWeāll always have Animal Crossing, at least. I canāt wait to show you my island once I get it looking nice.ā
He smiled a little, just as the train started to whistle into the station. A lump formed in his throat and he tried not to count the seconds till it pulled in fully and just enjoy these last moments with Su.Ā
SU:
Su swallowed thickly. Swallowing more tears, not allowing anymore to fall. She had to remind herself this wasnāt truly a goodbye. The world was so small because of phones and the Internet. She could talk to him every night still. Even though itād hardly ever be the same.
She squeezed his hand back. Go. Live. āYou donāt have to thank me for anything. I - weād Ā - do it all again,ā She smiled, forcing herself to let go of his hand - to let him go. āRemember what I said about turnip exchange! Itās a life changer!ā
She laughed at that, but really used it to cover up any sobs that might want to bubble out. Sheād be okay. Theyād be okay. Heād be okay. That was all that mattered now. She was still suspicious about the story he told them but...it wasnāt her place to ask about social services.
She trusted he knew what he was doing.
She took a step back, glancing up at the train and smiled. It hurt. But if she could distance herself, itād hurt less and be easier to watch him go. āYou better hurry so you can get a good spot and get your luggage put up. Iā¦ā She looked at him then to her feet. Then back at him. āText me when you get there, ākay?ā
BARREL:
āI will,ā said Barrel. His head still spun from the kiss. Heād already picked up his duffle bag. Heād taken a step back from Su, not realizing sheād done the same. The distance between them now could not be closed with an embrace. Soon heād get on the train and the train would bring him further and further away ā
He couldnāt think of it like that. He could still talk to Su. Heād just said he was going to text her, after all. Theyād meet on Animal Crossing. Heād text all his friends: JJ, Nemo, Finn, Wilbur, and Tony. Maybe some of them would text back. Heād video call Su and Ting-Ting and Mei and show them his new room and tell Su about his new school and his new town.
But he would also go to a new school. Heād meet new friends who didnāt know about Lock and Shock or his parents. Heād graduate. Heād go to university. He would study animals and he would get a job at any place he could work with them. He would become a zookeeper one day, in the far future, and he would get an apartment of his own where he fed cats behind the building and took them home.
Heād see Shock. Heād see Su and Mei and Ting-Ting. They could come to his apartment and meet his cats and he would learn how to cook so he could make them dinner like they did for him so many times.
One day, maybe, he would even come back to Swynlake.
He didnāt know if that would happen, actually. Or when that would happen. Right now, he couldnāt think of Swynlake without thinking of Lock ā and Shock and his parents.
One day, maybe, he would come to this station again and when he stepped off the train, he would smile at the town.
Right now though, his smile was for Su.
āGoodbye Su,ā he said, touching her shoulder gently. When he glanced back, stepping on the train, it was for her. He found a good seat by the window, pressing his face against it, waving as the train rolled out of the station. When Su was nothing more than a speck in the distance, when he squinted and couldnāt see the town, Barrel sat back in his seat.
He took a deep breath. His heart hammered, but ā he felt light. He felt hopeful. He could see a future for himself, bright and clear.
the underside is lighter when you turn it around || BarBar
takes place: Christmas morning, right after Shock leavesĀ
In which Barrel has nowhere to go... (so he thinks)Ā
@estrelllas feat @miss-holleyshiftwell
[tw: discussion of death, sad]Ā
BARREL:
On Christmas morning, Barrel left the Qin house.
It was quiet. Shock had already left. Mei, Su, and Ting-Ting werenāt anywhere to be seen. He texted them saying he was stepping out, just in case they worried about him.
He didnāt want them to worry about him.
Barrel managed to make it out of Tortuga Place before he realized he was crying. His tears were hot against his cold cheeks. He sniffed, wiping them his hand.
Barrel had no idea where to go. Barrel had no idea what to do.
Lock was gone. Lock ā his big brother, his hero, the person he looked through for everything ā was gone. Barrel had never imagined a world where Lock was gone. In his head, even before the vampire stuff, Lock and Shock were always there. Barrel was just lucky to tag along.
But Lock was gone.
Barrel and Shock were left.
But Shock said she was going to leave. Barrel knew this. Barrel would be left behind.
But Barrel didnāt want to be left behind.
Not here. Not in Swynlake. Not where every street made him think of his siblings.
Also ā he did not want the Qins to worry about him. Heād already caused them so much pain. He already caused them so much distress. He and Lock and Shockā¦
He didnāt know what to do now. He couldnāt stay with the Qins. He couldnāt do that to Mei. He couldnāt do that to Ting-Ting. He couldnāt do that to Su. He crumpled down onto the sidewalk, pulling his legs to his chest, his forehead falling to his knees. A sob shook through his body.
Nowhere to go, nowhere to go, nowhere to go ā
He remembered something. He reached into his pocket for his phone and swiped down to a contact. Barrel paused. He hesitated a moment, then swallowed.
Hi Barbie ā Merry Christmas! Is it okay if I come over? I need to talk to you about something. :)
He stood up, taking a deep breath, and even though she didnāt reply, he started to talk in the general direction of Castle Suites.
BARBIE:
Barbie had Christmas plans with her Aunt and Holley, but Christmas for an RAS agent didnāt mean your day was off. Holley and Barbie had to be ready for anything and even if Barrel wasnāt RAS related that didnāt mean she wasnāt concerned.
So at his text Barbie texted back closing up her room and inviting him over, letting Holley know. It had been enough times that Barbie ranted about being worried about this kid, she hoped sheād let it slide for the short notice. Also letting her Aunt know she may be late.
Other than that, the apartment still smelled of cookies, gifts were still under a small tree that had been set up. Everything was merry, not expecting the storm that would come through.
Opening the door to him Barbieās heart sank before ushering him in.
āMerry Christmas Barrel, how are you?ā Barbie softened her voice, one she specially used when rescuing anyone.
BARREL:
Barbieās apartment smelled like Christmas.
That was Barrelās first thought as the door swung open.
His second thought was that he was not fine.
He wanted to say he was. Wanted to just shake his head and say that heād just wanted to come and say Merry Christmas and that he had a present for her (he didnāt; heād left that under the tree). Wanted to be able to just figure this out on his own, like he always had.
But that wasnāt the truth. Heād never been alone. Heād always had Lock and Shock. And then the Qins. Barrel thought he was alone, but he always leaned on others. He couldnāt lean on them any longer, but that didnāt mean he had to do it alone.
And Barbie said she could help.
āI ā ā He took a deep breath. āIām not good, actually. My brother died.ā He swallowed as he sat down. āHe was ā it was a werewolf attack. Thatās what Ting-Ting said. And the wound was fatal becauseā¦ā
He didnāt finish that sentence, instead saying, āHe never got to open his presents.ā
BARBIE:
Lock was dead.
From a werewolf bite. From a fatal werewolf bite. And there really only was one reason that bite would be fatal.
Barbie didnāt sit, not across from Barrel, she leaned down beside him and took his hand. Suddenly all the theories she had started to click into place. If Lock was a vampire (fact) and lived with Anthony(fact) It was only reasonable to assume Shock was one as well. Which left Barrel left as a human(fact).
And that scared her too. Because from an outside perspective Shock seemed unstable, losing your coven leader (assumption) and your biological brother (assumption) and having one little brother left was she the type to rampage. Was she the type to take Barrelās humanity away from him?
And mind you, Barbie did believe everyone needed a chance, they could relocate vampires too if need be. Help them get on their feet. But her concern wasnāt for Shock it was for Barrel.
āIām so sorry Barrel,ā Barbie began. āIs your sister alright? Was she hurt as well?ā How many werewolves were in town. If this was related to Lou and Merida, how would that explode. Perhaps Barbie and Holley wouldnāt even make it to Christmas dinner. Hopefully they wouldnāt have to call Jake in until tomorrow at the very least.
BARREL:
Barrel shook his head.
āSheās okay. She just left, actually. She said itād be better if she did.ā It wasnāt safe, Barrel figured. Two vampires dead in less than two months. Barrel used to think vampires were scary, evil things. Then he thought they were invincible.
Now he just kinda thought they were sad.
āShe has a lot of money, so she wants to travel, since we never got to.ā He shrugged a little, trying to build up the courage to ask what heād come here to do. He twisted his fingers in the fabric of his sweater. āIā¦ The Qins arenāt kicking me out, but I think itās better if I go. They were only really looking after me because of Lock. And now heās gone. And Iām just going to remind them all. And theyāreā¦ they donāt need that.ā He swallowed, looking at Barbie now. āDo you know anywhere I could go? Somewhere safe? Shock said it wouldnāt be safe to come with her, which is probably right, but I donāt really know much about being somewhere on my own. Iāve always had them.ā
Again, he thought about what he once thought the future would be: turning into a vampire, leaving town with Shock and Lock (and Mei), and doing fun things forever.
That was all gone. He did not even know how to have dreams that did not revolve around his siblings. But maybe he would have a chance to try.
BARBIE:
Shock was gone. She had left Barrel. Okay fine fair traveling with a vampire wasnāt the safest option but leaving your brother without him even having a plan just rubbed Barbie the wrong way.
But somewhere safe. Somewhere, where people could know about Swynlake and know Barrel had two vampire siblings one of which might or might not come back. Yeah she knew somewhere he could go. Itād take some research on the best family but Barbie would find it for him even if she had to stay up all night.
āBarrel, I work with an organization that can place you with a family that will be safe and stable. One that you will be okay in for however long you need and even after that potentially.ā He could finish out highschool. Look into universities if that was what he wanted. He could have a chance at being happy.
āYou wonāt have to hide the fact your sister is a vampire or anything like that okay? Do you think thatās something youād like?ā
BARREL:
Barrel really hadnāt known what he expected Barbie to say, but it wasnāt that. He blinked, the surprise settling over him like a pop in the cavity of his chest that trickled down to his fingers and toes.
āReally? Wait ā how do you ā Ā ā He swallowed. Okay, maybe she figured out that Shock was a vampire. He felt his palms get sweaty. Barbie could help him. She could help him ā it sounded too good to be true, really. There was something in Barrel that still protested these things, something ingrained in him by years of growing up an Adamson.
But then again, growing up that way left them with two dead parents and a dead brother.
āIād like tht a lot,ā he said, voice small. āI donāt want to ā do I need to do anything? I donāt know if I have, like, ID or anythingā¦ the fireā¦ā
Before Barbie could say anything, something barked. Well, a dog barked, trotting into the living room and following that dog was a tall blonde girl that Barrel had seen before, who looked very much like the dog. She poked her head around the corner, holding a laptop.
Barrel froze.
āHello! Sorry ā didnāt mean to interrupt. I work with Barbie here actually. I just wanted to pop in and say do not worry about any IDs or birth certificates or expenses. I can arrange it all immediately, right Barbie?ā She smiled. āWe can place you as near as youād like or as far as youād like. Thereās a lovely family in Cardiff thatās been our point of contact for years and I think thatād be a nice fit, but if youād rather go to America ā
āI wouldnāt.ā Barrel shook his head. It felt like it was spinning. He couldnāt believe the solution had been right here. Ā He looked at Barbie. āWill I still be able toā¦ to talk to Su and Ting and Mei?ā
BARBIE:
Holley popped in but really did Barbie expect anything less? Smiling up at her Barbie nodded, if Holley was on it, there was not doubt about it the paperwork would be flawless and they could get him placed even sooner than she thought.
āYou can stay in touch with them if youād like this is more of a relocation due to circumstances less than danger but you are about to find out a lot about Holley and I that we need to keep secret so if you are going to stay in contact with anyone or in general Iām going to ask you to keep our names out of it. Itāll be something more like social services stepping in to help. And I hope you know Iāll be staying in contact too and you can still call me if you ever need something.ā Sheād lost contact with her siblings, still didnāt have contact with her youngest sister but now that she had the skill and file that she did she could fight to stay in contact with her cases. But now if someone needed her sheād promise to be there.
BARREL:
This was a lot of information to process. Barrel did his best. He nodded his head along. Wales. Paperwork. Keeping this a secret. Saying it was social services.
āBrandon Joe Adamson, correct?ā Holley piped up, her fingers flying away on the keyboard as she sat at the kitchen table. āBorn in Hallowtown, California to Wade and Veronica Adamson. Goodness, how on Earth did your family get through customs on this dodgy paperwork?ā
āIā¦ā
āNo matter! Iāll have you fixed up shortly ā the family in Cardiff is lovely. Itās an old couple. I used to stay with them over summers. Mr. and Mrs. Sommers are wonderful! Have a nice house with a yard ā ah yes they have a vacancy! That fairy from the destroyed Hollow we placed with them ended up nicely assimilating into a nearby Hollow,ā she directed this bit to Barbie, nodding sagely.
āOh ā¦ā
āYou can leave as soon as you need! Well, I should give them a day to get ready, I suppose. Agent Porter-Thatch is actually in Cardiff right now visiting her grandparents for the holidays. Both Agents Porter-Thatches, actually. Theyāre lovely too ā ā
Barrel nodded. Holley was talking a lot. He glanced at Barbie, suddenly feeling sheepish. This sounded likeā¦ so much. So much good stuff. A solution to all his problems.
A solution he didnāt feel like he deserved.
āHey Barbie,ā he said softly, as Holley chattered on about how fun it would be to hack into the United States Social Security database. āAre you sureā¦ Iām allowed to do this? I feel likeā¦ I dunno. Holley said a fairy in a destroyed hollow and stuff and those are the people who should get this stuff. Not me.ā
BARBIE:
Holley rambled but it just made Barbie smile at her. She could imagine Barrel having a good future. It was the only reason she was okay not yet knowing where her sister was the RAS did good work.
Turning her attention to Barrel she tuned out Holley (Which wasnāt that hard, sorry Holley) and focused only on him. āDonāt underestimate me okay? Weāve got a lot of connections and a lot of homes. If we need another we find another. Or like with my parents, agents take in kids until they can be relocated.ā Of course her parents loved having more kids that they ended up taking in two more girls.
āYouāre allowed this. I promise you that.ā Holding out her pinky to him Barbie grinned. āYouāre a good kid Barrel. Youāve gone through a lot and I think itās about time someone gives you a little helping hand.ā
BARREL:
Barrel didnāt know how to describe the feeling that came over him. It clutched at the center of his chest, almost like he was very anxious, except the feeling wasnāt suffocating. It felt warm. It flooded through him and instead of hooking his pinky through Barbieās, he leaned over and wrapped his arms around her.
He didnāt realize he was crying till heād done so, a tear trickling slowly down his cheek.
āThank you so much,ā he said. He wanted to say something more ā something about how he spent his whole life with no one helping him, but moving to Swynlake had given him the Qins and now Barbie and now he got to help the Qins by leaving and how he promised to himself now that heād help Barbie one day. And how much he missed Lock and he missed Shock, but he realized that he needed to learn how to live without them. In a place theyād never been. He could still love them, but he could learn to love them in a way that meant he didnāt depend on them.
He wanted to say all of that, but nothing came out except another soft āThank you.ā
BARBIE:
Barbie didnāt hesitate to wrap her arms around Barrel and give him a hug. Her extended hand went to his head running her hand over his hair. It was moments like this that Barbie remembered why she was doing what she was doing.
Helping those that the world abandoned in one way or another. Ā Before they could get lost, so far that there was no helping.
This was her way to give back just a little bit. And she hoped the next time she saw Barrel heād have a brilliant smile on his face. This would be good for him. She just knew it.
Shock ruffled his hair. Just like Lock used to do. He felt the lump in his throat, the one that hadnāt quite gone away since yesterday.
He didnāt want to go back into the Qin house.
He didnāt know what happened after people died, but he could feel Lockās presence in there. It would never go away. Well ā maybe it would, but Barrel knew that the longer he stayed, the longer Lock would haunt them all: not just him but Ting-Ting and Su and especially Mei.
Shock was leaving; Shock should leave, Shock should go and see the world.
Barrel just wondered where heād go from here.
Shock might not want it, but he stepped over gave her a hug. It was brief. He knew she wouldnāt want to prolong it, but he would also feel really bad if he didnāt hug her one last time. Who knew when heād see her again?
āIāll see you around,ā he said, letting her go and stepping back. He smiled at her, ducking his head down a little. So, this was it. Barrel tried not to panic, but this was the first time heād be without Lock and Shockā¦ basically ever.
But Shock was right ā she had to go. And he knew he did.
āDonāt worry too much about me,ā he said. āIāll figure something out. Iām an Adamson, after all.ā
(*)
Barrel hugged her.
She shouldāve expected it, but she didnāt. She stiffened as his arms wrapped around herāsurprised. His body was warm and he smelled goodā¦she couldnāt really place the scent and didnāt have time to think about it deeply. Before she could move her own arms to hug him back, heād already stepped away.
Shock stood there, dumbfounded, as if he had smacked her in the face. Not hugged her.Ā
Part of her, for just a moment, wondered if she was making a mistakeā¦
But that was a selfish thought only. Shock was the one who didnāt want to be alone. Barrel deserved a life away from all the shit. Shock and Lock had fucked him up enough. Maybe it wasnāt to late for him. He could still grow. With goodie two shoes like the Qins looking out for himā¦well, sheād seen what theyād done to Lock in just a year. Give him 5, 10ā
Heād actually make something of himself.Ā
āDamn straight,ā Shock finally said, her lips twitching into a smile.Ā
āSee you around, baby bro. Donāt get into too much trouble.āĀ She took a step back, then another, until her foot hit the edge of the porch.Ā
Then she turned, and in an instant, she was gone. As if she had never been there at allā¦
