places from which it is impossible to return

Do you want to see my nurosis?

[littlekryer]

[littlekryer]

Bumper sticker game be like…

[corrodedarts]

Hand painted orange genuine leather jacket with cropped sleeves and large buttons, giving it a 60s vibe.

FOR SALE-$199

Hand painted jacket with cropped sleeves and pleate in back. Size 10P but fits women’s size M-L.

[corrodedarts]

Hand painted orange genuine leather jacket with cropped sleeves and large buttons, giving it a 60s vibe.

FOR SALE-$199

Hand painted jacket with cropped sleeves and pleate in back. Size 10P but fits women’s size M-L.

[corrodedarts]

Hand painted, Vintage coat. Heavy suede material. Good vintage condition, few repaired flaws

FOR SALE- $199

https://posh.mk/ruwIPduJKNb

[corrodedarts]

For sale $260

Unique vintage genuine leather coat with soft interior lining and multi color leather details. Hand painted with quality leather paint. Brass studs on front pocket. Coat is worn in, condition shown in photos. Womens size M, mens size S

[heavensghost]

Jenny Holzer

[littlekryer]

For the last several weeks I’ve had an issue with involuntary contractions in the muscles of my face, foot twitching and compulsive movements of my neck. My psychiatrist confirmed today that it is Tardive Dyskinesia (TD) and is a side effect of my antipsychotic medication (Rexulti). I must discontinue use right away. Even after stopping use of my APD (antipsychotic drug), there is a good chance that the TD will be permanent.

I am devastated by this news for many reasons. I have suffered with severe mental illness since childhood. My teens and twenties were consumed by hospitalizations due to extreme suicidality and a myriad of prescriptions for psychiatric medications that never facilitated a significant improvement in my mental health. In fact, most of them were downright miserable to experience. It wasn’t until I moved to New Mexico that I was prescribed high dose SSRI in conjunction with Rexulti, which was a newer drug on the market at the time. This combination of drugs improved my quality of life 100 fold and I doubt I’d still be alive if I had been without it the last 4 years. The crippling social anxiety I used to battle with had almost completely disappeared, and the depressive lows did not reach critical and life threatening levels like they used to. I remember the first day I woke up and my first thought wasn’t wanting to die. I think of that moment often, and never lost the gratitude I felt for actually wanting to live.

Thinking about what my future may look like without the Rexulti is terrifying. I don’t want to go back to the life I was experiencing before it. The magnitude of my suffering was so great that my life was not worth living. I was aware, when starting the Rexulti, that it is common for APD to lose effectiveness after long term use and it was a fear of mine. Developing TD is a worse scenario than what I had feared. Though I’d rather live with the physical side effects that I’m experiencing rather than stop the medication, my Psychiatrist has told me that isn’t an option, as TD can escalate into full blown Parkinson’s and in rare cases can even be fatal.

So here I am, at a loss for faith in this situation turning out even okay for me. I’m so sad about these circumstances; I’m angry that this was the hand that I’ve been dealt, and I’m discouraged. I don’t know what to do.

[littlekryer]

[littlekryer]

[corrodedarts]

[littlekryer]

Some fairly recent pieces. Guitar is sanded and painted. 

I think art is finding a stick in a burned forest. 

[littlekryer]

“Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

— Eckhart Tolle (via purplebuddhaproject)

[littlekryer]

“Do not tell everyone your story. You will only end up feeling more rejected. People cannot give you what you long for in your heart. The more you expect from people’s response to your experience of abandonment, the more you will feel exposed to ridicule.”

— Henri J. M. Nouwen (via getoffthefloor)

[littlekryer]

[corrodedarts]

Edvard Munch

[littlekryer]

On the phone, my sister brings up feminist therapy. She says it can help me find something larger than myself to fight for. She suggests the stigma around mental illness; she knows how much it affects me, says I can break the chains if a professional shows me the way out. I choose, in that moment, to be a silent mirror. Sometimes I wonder if she ever sees me at all or only a reflection. I want to cut her off to defend my radicalism. To tell her how far back I shed the assignment of playing woman, to tell her how being loud IS the work and how I opened that door for myself. I resent the belief that making change is only done properly by joining an organization backed by money and the complimentary belief that making personal experiences public is childish. I think it's childish to participate in societies delegation of shame. Even before it was a choice, I have lived on the outside, socially ostracized. The best thing I can do with those circumstances is to use the freedom it's afforded me to shine a light on what the reality of living with severe mental illness can look like, in hopes that it normalizes public perception of people experiencing mental illness, and that my outspokenness helps to carve a path for others to step out of the darkness and gain the sovereignty to present authentically and without shame.