I’m pulling myself off of all my psychiatric meds one by one and it has been hard, but I’m already feeling the positive effects. I was on an antipsychotic called Rexultifor the last year and successfully cold turkey’d it. Took my last one a month ago.
Now I’m pulling myself off of Trintellix, which is my antidepressant. I’ve gained a lot of weight on it and I’m just not happy with myself. Why am I even on so many meds? My doctor said that after she’s had me on an antipsychotic for a year, she actually doesn’t think I’m bipolar and instead thinks I just have extensive trauma.
Anyway, today is my first day skipping my Trintellix. I’ve spent the last month in hellacious anti psychotic withdrawal, so anything this throws at me will feel like a cakewalk in comparison.
I’ll be staying on my Vyvanse, Guanfacine and Buspar. The Guanfacine works as a heart med for my POTS while also evening out the negative parts of being on a stimulant.
After coming off this anti depressant I will be coming off of gabapentin. That I will need to taper. I tried last summer to come off of it and almost offed myself as a result. I went catatonic and just laid on Stephen’s lap, rocking my body and humming to stop the terrible thoughts I was having.
I didn’t taper it though, so that was my issue.
I’m going to free myself from the shackles of all these medications. I’m 30 years old and I want to enjoy it. I want to feel everything deeply again instead of feeling this fuzzy numb feeling 24/7. I’d rather feel everything and cry than walk around this world letting time pass me by because I feel apathyx1000.
My medication journey started in rehab in 2020. I hadn’t taken meds since I was a child taking stimulants for my adhd. I was put on a cocktail of things and gained an insane amount of weight when all I needed was some fucking therapy and help addressing the death of my father.
Gonna set it all straight now and undo what I thought was just my new norm. It doesn’t have to be.
Here’s to lots of withdrawals coming my way, ha.