Schizophrenic psycho

schizoaffective. Everyone can follow just as long as you’re nice!

[littlemisshallucination]

IF YOURE HALLUCINATING

Unfocus your eyes if you can still see it clearly it’s a hallucination this is the only thing that has ever helped me with recognizing hallucinations I hope this helps some of you!

[acrylicsanddrawings]

Friendly Reminder

💐Disabled and mentally ill people are still valuable and worthwhile even if they couldn’t finish their education or work. 🌻

[bbycas-deactivated20190121]

pls tell me im not the only one

[satanhaus-deactivated20220217]

yo does anyone else feel CONSTANTLY guilty? like you’ve always done something wrong but you don’t know what it is?

[why-am-i-even-on-here]

Yes, and I’ve spoken to my therapist about it, who offered an explanation:

She says that people who from a young age were made to feel like they kept doing things wrong - people who’s parents had impossibly high standards for them, people who were bullied, people who have special needs, people who didn’t develop crushes on the “right” people, people who didn’t act like the “right” gender - basically ended up being made to feel guilty so much that guilt became their default response to everything. Guilt became the emotional response to anything which the person didn’t already have a set emotion for.

People for whom guilt is the default emotional response are also more likely to have low self-esteem, doubt their own experiences, and experience impostor syndrome. So, watch out for that too guys

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

reading a paper on quality of life among 45-to-70-year-olds with Down syndrome:

“Individuals expressed a desire to be allowed to go to bed when they wanted to.”

[queenshulamit-deactivated201602]

:(

[chavisory]

Imagine.

[fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton]

I lived in a room and board that failed the burrito test. (”If you’re not allowed to get up in the middle of the night to microwave a burrito, you live in an institution.”) No one stopped me from going to bed, but they did tell me I had to have my lights out by 10, and that I had to be out of the house by 10 the next morning. When I complained to my outpatient program that I needed more help than I was getting, they threatened me with board and care, where my cell phone would be taken away and I would lose contact with the outside world. My case manager sounded so damn smug, like he had caught me out, when he said, “if you’re really as helpless as you say, then you need to be in a board and care.” Like my only options were struggling to do things I couldn’t do, or surrendering my life to an institution.

When I tried to talk about these things with other people, they always rationalized it away. (I told my dad once that my caseworker was reading my e-mails as I wrote them, demonstrating extreme disrespect for my privacy, and he said, “Well, she’s probably making sure you don’t use the internet to goof off.” I was 22 years old.)

 People tend to mock the idea that telling an adult when to go to bed, when to eat, etc., is a human rights violation, even though they would find it outrageous and absurd if anyone came into their lives to do the same thing to them.

And this is what people seem to think when they tell disabled activists we’re just not disabled enough to understand that some people really do need to be locked up and deprived of all autonomy.

[snakes-in-my-head]

Dear Normal-Headed People

I really doubt that any normal-headed folks are ever going to read this, but on the off-chance that someone searches for ‘things you shouldn’t say to your schizophrenic friend/spouse/co-worker’, here you go.

1.  ‘Have you taken your meds?’ - Unless I am literally covering the windows in newspaper, turning off every wifi-enabled device in the house, or something equally blatantly insane, don’t fucking ask this question.  I’m allowed to have the entire spectrum of human emotions like anger, sadness, melancholy, excitement, or fear just like everyone else, and they aren’t reasons to immediately assume I’m off my meds or having an especially bad day.  I’m schizophrenic, not a child, and you aren’t my goddamn caretaker.

2.  ‘You’re delusional/crazy.’ - Not agreeing or not believing something I say is not the same as me being in a delusional state.  This isn’t something to say offhandedly or joke about, or use as a method of playing practical jokes to make me think I might actually be experiencing delusions.  This is also NOT the thing to say when trying to be dismissive over something we’re casually talking about.

3.  ‘You need to calm down.’ - This doesn’t work with your significant other, your sibling, or your parents, so why the fuck do you think it will work with me?  Especially if I’m actually in a state that suggests I actually might need to calm down?  At best, telling someone to ‘calm down’ is condescending, and at worst, saying ‘calm down’ is actively attempting to make a not-calm person even worse.  Which are you going to be?

4.  ‘You don’t need medication, you just need ________’ - Get fucked.  No seriously.  Unless you are literally that person’s psychiatrist, you have no business suggesting that a schizophrenic doesn’t need their meds.  Ever.  SCHIZOPHRENIA IS AN ORGANIC BRAIN DISORDER.  YOU CAN SEE IT ON A FUCKING MRI.  There is no alternative medicine, snake oil, exercise routine, prayer ritual, or bullshit meditation center that is going to suddenly cure an organic brain disorder, because if organic brain disorders could be cured with whatever bullshit you’re suggesting, nobody would have Alzheimer’s, MS, or Parkinson’s anymore either.

5.  ‘You don’t have schizophrenia, you have ________’ - Again, get fucked.  Schizophrenia is the last thing that any well-adjusted, normal human being actually wants to have.  If there were any other potential diagnosis, there’s a good chance we’ve already ruled it out.  Unless you went to medical school with a specialization in psychiatry, and are actually qualified to suggest a new or alternative diagnosis, shut the fuck up.

6.  ‘You really don’t seem that crazy/look sick.’ - This always feels like a compliment at first, but underneath it is a suggestion that because I don’t ‘look crazy’ I’m somehow either not schizophrenic or that my issues, when I have them, shouldn’t be taken seriously.  There’s a good chance that a schizophrenic that doesn’t ‘look crazy/look sick’ is either currently stable, properly medicated, or just very good at keeping their shit together in public.  We also aren’t fucking obligated to tell you when we are experiencing symptoms in our day-to-day lives.

7.  ‘What do you hear?/What do your voices say?’ - Not all of us have auditory hallucinations, and not every schizophrenic with auditory hallucinations actually has ‘voices’ they can single out or identify.  What’s more, the folks who do hear voices often experience them saying very negative, unpleasant, sometimes very hurtful things.  If you heard someone constantly calling you stupid, or useless, or fat, or worthless, or suggesting even worse things, would you feel like constantly repeating that shit to someone else because they feel like being a tourist?

8.  ‘This is my friend X, they’re schizophrenic.’ - If someone trusted you enough to actually tell you about their diagnosis, you keep that shit to yourself unless it is absolutely medically relevant that someone else be told.  That is not your goddamn information to share or even hint at with others, ever.

I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones I’ve personally experienced and have a special hatred for.  Your mileage may vary.

[hunterinabrowncoat]

Honestly the most frustrating thing about chronic illnesses is the boredom. Like actually right now I don’t want to sleep. I would love to be doing something productive with my day. But I just don’t have the energy…

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Friendly reminder that doing your best means doing what you can WITHOUT jeopardizing your mental or physical health. Doing your best doesn’t mean pushing yourself into a flare or a breakdown. Doing your best doesn’t mean forcing yourself past what’s healthy and sustainable.

[schizosupport]

Hi, im psychotic pending diagnosis and im struggling with negative symptoms. My environment is so incredibly filthy that my mother is becoming extremely disturbed and upset (she works two jobs and doesnt have time to clean) is there any way i can do things. I feel guilty that i cant do anything. Its a struggle to eat and shower right now, im not even brushing my teeth most days. Any tips at all would be welcome

Hello there! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you, truth is I really struggle to find something helpful to say. Not because I don’t want to, or don’t sympathize, but bc your situation hits so close to home for me.

I think the thing that has helped me the most, and it’s by no means a miracle cure, is to practice a very kind of mindful “one thing at a time” attitude. The idea of all the myriad things that needs to be done often makes the situation worse, and it’s best if you can somehow just focus on one task at a time.

Try to make it into a ritual, an event. Like “Everytime I do the dishes I listen to ABBA”.

Start easy and build up. Start out by grabbing a plastic bag and collecting all the trash. Just that will make a huge impact on your environment. 

If part of the problem is that you aren’t sure what to do, then try to talk to your mom about what the most pressing matters are - maybe get her to write a list.

Finally, please remember that you are ill, and that you are not being “lazy” or otherwise slacking off. It really IS that hard. 

I wish I could’ve helped you more, but I hope this at least provided an idea of where to start.

Take care of yourself anon!!

Cat

[belowe-system]

I hope butting in is alright- But dear anon, I do have some advice that.. I need to remember doing myself.

Sometimes even doing one thing at a time is STILL overwhelming to certain people, because sometimes doing the dishes suddenly becomes a large and intimidating event! I learned that on my EXTREMELY heavy and low energy days, I just split my chores into parts.

So, for example, for dishes, I’ll put away the clean ones first, turn my attention to something else for a while, and then clean the dirty dishes, that way I’m not so intimidated my one swoop. It’s somehow more relieving when I pat myself in the back and say, “I’m done!” with even only just half of the technical job.

Another example is maybe vacuuming the house; You can divide each room to vacuum into different times- whenever you feel ready in the day. It’s pretty nice to take time to reward myself (which is absolutely encouraged, no matter what, trust me) in segments rather than busting my ass to finish ONE. BIG. CHUNK.

This is one tip of many, and I could also suggest a type of calender and physically divide each job into several bite sized chunks. A combo of depression, paranoia, and executive dysfunction really sucks- especially when it feels like you’re doing all the work- but overall I definitely recommend to applaud yourself much more frequently.

You did it when no one else could, and the fact that you can complete at least one or two chunks is an amazing feat!

@schizosupport

[schizosupport]

Thank you for the input!! Very important advice indeed, that I failed to mention.

Cat

[psychosispsositivity]

Tips for going inpatient

So I’ve gone inpatient twice, once in a rural hospital ward once in an urban psychiatric hospital, both in the US South. Both times I had a horrible experience. Here’s my advice for anyone who might be going inpatient, mandatory disclaimer that I am not a professional.

Grab some clothes before you go to the ER, or have whoever is with you do so. Don’t forget underwear. It will make you feel more human.

They don’t allow anything sharp, or any beauty products containing alcohol. You’re better off just not bringing any beauty products. If you’re an artist, grab loose leaf paper or print paper to take with you and mechanical pencils, because most notebooks are also forbidden.

Bring a stuffed animal if you have one, but be prepared for it to confiscated. I’m not making this up, the urban hospital took all my stuffed animals, but the rural one allowed them.

Some of the nurses will be awful, try not to take it personally. It’s not you, it really isn’t, they’re just awful people who should t be in this job.

They may treat you like a prisoner, I certainly was. But you’re not. If you sign in voluntarily, you can leave Against Medical Advice. You will have to have someone check what the consequences will be with your insurance, but if you sign yourself in, you can sign yourself out. I did that at my second hospitalization because of absuive staff. I’m not recommending this, just saying it’s an option.

Advocate for yourself. If you’re not getting meds on time, make a fuss! You’re paying for a service, you should get it.

You have the right to request another dcotor.

You have the right to refuse medical treatment, as long as you are deemed mentally capable. Please don’t allow yourself to be pressured into any therapy you feel is unsafe or unnecessary. They will try and sell you services, I was even lied to about services at the psychiatric and about what my parents wanted. Stand your ground.

[catboy-dysphoria]

Just one edit and a few more things:

-None of the hospitals I was in allowed pens or pencils outside of supervised crafting time. Be prepared to have those taken, though sometimes you can ask for golf pencils, one hospital I was at had weird bendy pencils. A lot of times they’ll let you have markers.

-Even if you’re put in inpatient involuntarily, they can only hold you for 72 hours if you ask for the discharge paperwork right away

-Its not a place to make friends. People are in there for a reason, and while they may be excellent people, no one in there is in a place where it’s healthy for them to make new friends. I’ve tried to keep contact with people I’ve met in inpatient or partials many times, and it’s never worked. Folks go to hospitals because they are unhealthy, and generally need the support of known and familiar friends before they’re healthy enough to be friends with you. Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t be friendly, but leave those connections behind when you leave. It’s just not the right time in your or their life.

-Write your friends/families phone numbers on your body. They’ll always have a phone you can use, but you likely won’t be able to access the internet and you won’t be allowed to have your cell phone.

-Try at least a little to engage in the things they offer. Monotony is terrible, boring, and unhealthy. Even though you’re allowed to stay in bed all day every day, I’d advise against it.

-Don’t panic! No one really stays in inpatient for that long. You’ll be out soon.

[honeysuckle-venom]

-If possible look on their website and see if there are rules about what to bring or what not to bring. 

-Drawstring pants and shoes with laces are generally not allowed. Bring sports bras, as bras with underwires may or may not be allowed. Bring socks! Bare feet are usually not allowed, and if you don’t bring your own socks you have to wear weird hospital ones.

- Crayons are almost definitely allowed, while pencils and markers are more iffy. If you have crayons, bring them.

- Bring your favorite book(s)!

- Ask the doctors questions. If they put you on new meds, ask why. Ask about side effects. Stay informed about your treatment.

- Know your rights. There should be a Patient’s Bill of Rights posted somewhere accessible to you. Read it. Use it if necessary.

- If you can, have someone on the outside help advocate for you. If you have loved ones nearby, see if they can visit. If you get there and find out there are things you’re allowed to have that you didn’t bring (a stuffed animal, a blanket, fidget toys, etc) see if they can bring you one. Take advantage of calling hours. Outside support makes a big difference. If you don’t have that, though, it will still be okay.

[psychosispsositivity]

Thank you for your additions!

[the-nordic-system]

Me, knowing full well that I have a disorder that causes amnesia: don’t worry, I’ll remember

[sickbitterandcoveredinglitter]

I don’t think healthy people every really get chronic illness.

I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore. She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.

“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”

She was honestly surprised and it made me realize a thing. They don’t get it. They don’t get that getting diagnosed only equals benefits like welfare or parking spot for us, and sometimes better pain meds but that is just like pushing luck. That it’s a forever thing. That that one day we felt good a week ago was just a bright spot and doesn’t mean we won’t need our aids anymore, cause chronic illness is not linear and will make a great comeback in next four hours, and the next good day is planned on when we’re 70. Cause when abled people are sick, they get better. And our illness is just an excuse for them. And when we say we will never get better they think we’re being dramatic and pessimistic. And I don’t think they’ll ever get it, cause to get it you need to live it. And I want my friends to stay healthy and not go through hell.

[sickbitterandcoveredinglitter]

This is definitely okay to reblog and abled people are encouraged to reblog cause maybe it’ll help others understand

[sickbitterandcoveredinglitter]

Hello it’s me Lexa and this post is relevant again as I just had the Legit Same Talk with someone and I exhausted my number of fucks to give

[beka-tiddalik]

Oh my god I literally had this conversation with my mother an hour ago.

Mum: “So yeah, I was thinking that when I come down we could do visit an art gallery or a museum or something.”

Me: “I’ll have to see if I’m up for it, I’ve been going through a rough patch. I might not have the energy.”

Mum: “But you love art galleries.”

Me: “I know. What part of ‘it hurts to walk long distances now’ is hard for you though?”

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I routinely have people well aware of my disabilities/chronic illness congratulate me on how I “seem to be doing so much better these days!” on a good pain/energy day and then basically try to stage an intervention a week later on a bad one. “You seem to be on a decline lately, I’m just concerned you’re not taking care of yourself!” And then a week later on a good day again congratulate me on how I really seem to have improved and must be making a real effort to keep on top of my health, with no irony or self-awareness whatsoever. The narrative of “getting better” is so ingrained that healthy abled people will ignore massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to apply it where it makes absolutely no sense.

[birdkeeperklink]

And this belief in “getting better” is actively harmful because that’s how we get shitty things like people having their benefits “reviewed” and taken away because it’s been ten years and they’re not going to the doctor “enough.” They don’t need to get constant treatment after they know what they have, but that doesn’t mean they’re magically cured or just “not trying”!!! It means they’re ill, they’re always going to be ill, and going to the doctor every week isn’t going to change that (not to mention it’s expensive af)!

I see this in my job much more frequently than I should (we help people fight benefit denials and occasionally get back benefits after these “reviews”). Sometimes it’s justified - the person went back to work - but more often, it’s not, it’s just that some worker somewhere decided that this person or that person should be all better by now, and that’s just not how chronic illness works, so ending this idea that chronically ill people will just get better would help put a stop to shit like that.

[rosslynpaladin]

They cannot comprehend that we do not control our health. In their world, when people are sick it’s because they caught it from someone else, and if you stay sick it’s your fault for not taking care of yourself. They cannot fathom a  world where you can 

do everything right and still be sick. 

“don’t let your disability define you! Fight! INspirEd! Taking back my life from Cancer!” This narrative is everywhere in Able culture. If you JUST tried harder you’d get better. THAT is what they live and believe.

Therefore to them if we are “still” sick or “Sick Again” it’s because WE did something wrong. They can’t comprehend a world where you can’t Earn health as a reward for performing purity, kale and yoga.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

There’s so many posts about recovery, so here’s a shoutout to everyone with chronic conditions who can’t expect to make a full recovery:

To the people who will have to learn how to live with and manage their symptoms long term.

To the people who will always be sick and disabled no matter how hard they work or how many healthy choices they make.

To the people who will have to spend their whole lives working around and accommodating limits and impairments which most people don’t have to worry about.

To the people who have to figure out how to live a good and fulfilling life WITH their illness/disability and its symptoms.

To the people who will have to go “this is as good as it gets and that’s okay” even though they’re still struggling more than most people.

To the people who’ll never be able to put their diagnosis behind them.

I see you - and I absolutely promise you that even if you can’t ever get to live a symptom-free life, you can still learn how to live a good one.

[traumatized-mouse]

People say dissociate like it means staring out ur window

[lost-mind-of-a-schizophrenic]

[enby-entity24-deactivated201910]

This was me last night. Fudgin sleep paralysis

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has a chronic psychotic mental illness

[actuallyschizophrenic]

hey, as the resident raging lunatic of this here part of tumblr i would like to remind everyone that by calling genuinely terrible people “psychotic”, “delusional”, “psycho”, “insane”, or anything of the sort, you’re being ableist and shitty to schizophrenic people! so maybe stop that thanks