littlemuddledhead

just some girl trying to make it through everything! I'm on Instagram as @littlemuddledhead. Install the app to follow my photos and videos. https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1qo6mfvguanxg&utm_content=l2n50t8

[littlemuddledhead]

Been a long time since I have posted something here.

I miss writing but I feel like I don’t have enough words to express how differently I see the world now that I have experienced world.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel the same?

[littlemuddledhead]

[littlemuddledhead]

1. You smile all day long, no matter what is happening around you. You smile with your cheeks flushed and your heart flying in the colors of love.

2. You have a passcode set on your phone and you some how are always extra cautious whenever you are around someone.

3. You impatiently wait for your love to text you and when they do, you feel butterflies in your stomach.

4. You have a hidden album with all their pictures in your phone and you stare at those pictures all day, smiling away with all your heart's foolishness.

5. Romantic songs have now become a part of your daily life and they have a greater meaning to you now.

6. You always dream about your love. They are at the back of your mind 24*7 and they somehow become a part of your prayers.

7. You no longer sleep at nights because all you want is some extra moments of happiness with your love

8. You feel devastated whenever you and your love end up having an argument. You feel like crying and you wait for them to message you .

9. You get into a habit of talking to them all day long so whenever you are not able to talk to them, every minute feels an hour long.

[littlemuddledhead]

To the one I will love forever

Forever isn’t something I would buy because the idea of giving yourself to one person felt kind of weird. I have always believed that love exists for sure but forever might tie a person in unwanted promises, those which are hard to keep.

To be honest, I wouldn’t have believed in it even today if it weren’t you. You my beautiful soul, you my man whom I love so much that it hurts me to even think of loosing the sight of you.

I am a very weird girl. I need things a certain way which probably I never mentioned. I just want you to look deep into my eyes and know it by yourself. I am not someone who believes in flings. I am someone who believes in warmth, who thinks feeling your partner naked is way more sexy than all the other things. I feel it to be more intimidating that someone wants to rest on my shoulder while sitting on a couch instead of having sex on the bed.

I am different. I like things my own way. I love being stared at. I love all what is labeled as “cringe" today. I love that all! I love being called nicknames by you. I love being teased by you. I love being scolded by you when I am careless. I love how you get so annoyed of my unbearable childness but then bear it with a smile.

And more than that, I love you. Because somewhere deep inside my heart, I know that you do care. I know that whatever troubles we are facing now, we will for sure overcome them one day.

I know I sound negative. I know I am annoying at times, but believe me, everything I am doing is to help you achieve what you want, I want you to succeed today so that we can together achieve our future. Secure it. Love it. I want to love you. I can’t stand being away from you for so long. It hurts. It hurts so bad that I cant begin to explain. Then too, I do it, and try not to complain, so that you can come home to a peaceful place.

I am sorry for failing at this miserably. I don’t know why I wrote this. But I hope by this you know that I love you!

Yours ❤

[littlemuddledhead]

To the one with inevitable social anxiety,

Hi, how are you? It’s okay, you don’t have to answer that because I know that it will only make you uncomfortable. There are a lot of things, rather social norms that stress you out and I know how much you hate them! Talking to people, giving a presentation actually interacting! People consider that you are rude just because it is difficult for you to get along. You are fun in your own special way! You might be a crazy book worm for whom numerous fantasy lands is life, or you might be a great artist, saying whatever is in your mind through various strokes of brush! You might write, or sing, or dance or do anything and everything others do! However, you still are considered to be weird!

This is a reminder for you that what these people around you say doesn’t matter. They judge you without knowing you, a thing that only naïve people do! You don’t have to feel inferior just because you don’t mix in well or too soon! You don’t have to think down about yourself! You are unique, you are bold in your own beautiful way! Don’t let others ruin it for you because you never know when tables turn around and every one who was mean to you before will depend on you for something!

Be you, do you because you are incredible!

[littlemuddledhead]

Only Those days matter when you feel that you are at a point which is beyond materialistic happiness.

It is that feeling of love that makes you feel completely elite!

[littlemuddledhead]

The fear that never goes away

Almost everyone in his or her life time experience moments in which their anxiety reaches to its peak. It may be regarding something as petty as getting selected for a competition or as big as a life changing opportunity which you may or may not get. You feel nervous and tensed and there are a number of times throughout the day when you start doubting yourself. It feels like a fear has taken birth in your heart and it refuses to go away! You think about it all the time, decide to avoid it but end up going crazy about it ultimately. It is during such times when you have to fight, but not for something, you have to fight with yourself. You have to fight the fear that never goes away. It may seem to be impossible, but it for sure is possible! Hang in there, you have got this.

[littlemuddledhead]

To the best friend who lives far away from me,

Hi, how are you? It seems like it has been ages since we have last talked. Life in the past few months has changed so much, and you know me, I among everyone am the worst to handle or as a matter of fact adjust with the changes happening around me. Yes I know it was me who had to move away, and I don’t deny that this distance sucks. But I wish we could go back to being what we were. I miss our golden period. Yes you were right when you told me millions of times to not worry about what will happen in the future and live in the present because that is all we have. I wish I would have listened to you back the because as a matter of fact, indeed were lucky back then.

You know what I miss the most? I believe seeing your ugly face daily tops the list. Sitting on the last bench every day, ignoring teachers during lectures, rushing to the canteen for we have nothing left in the lunch boxes and are as hungry as always. I miss it all. I sometimes am unable to believe that we have all of a sudden passed out from school and now we have to go to all together different places, start everything from scratch. Keep all that aside, how in the world am I supposed to make new friends? How am I supposed to find another idiot like you? Believe it or not, I am scared!

I wish we could once again start from kindergarten, my only wish this time would be that I meet you earlier. I always knew that this day would come, when we would have to wave each other good bye, but I never really thought that this would be so difficult. I had never imagined all of this to be such a nerve wrecking pain. I know I am blabbering a bit too much, but I miss you. I wish I could come back just to show you how much you mean to me.

Anyhow, as it is said that life goes on, I think I will be able to accept it too. I just have one request, please don’t forget me when you find new people. I miss you idiots, call me once in a while, and please forgive me if I don’t answer your first ring, I definitely will retreat back to you.

[littlemuddledhead]

In life it doesn't matter how many people you know. But it surely matters what are the kind of people you know.

[littlemuddledhead]

1. Be productive: I know this may sound a little off because everyone in his individual life has numeral things to do on a daily basis, but being productive should be one among them. You must invest some of your time in doing something that you love, that gives you happiness. Why? Because at the end of the day, we are answerable to ourselves. We will be responsible for our own happiness, no one else.

2. Learn something new: Learning never seizes, no matter how old you are. You might know a lot of things, but it isn’t possible that you know everything. Also, learning new things broadens your mindset, it gives you a chance to view things and life in general from a different angle. So, never end your day without learning something new, no matter how small it maybe.

3. Take out some lone time: We human beings are emotional creatures who tend to get tired of their daily life. Obviously no one can keep going on and on without breaking down at some point, feeling depressed and dejected. So, in order to keep yourselves sane, take out some lone time, talk to yourself, meditate, paint, play, read, listen to music or just sit with a cup of coffee. Do anything you like, but never fail to give one hour of your day to yourselves.

4. Try to share joys: Human life is full of sorrows and miseries. Others may not be as blessed as you are. There is a wide range of problems people face on a daily basis. Try to add a little ray od happiness in some such person's life. You may have things that others may not, so try and share your joy with others. Make them smile too. Trust me, when you see them smiling, your day will get ten times lovelier than it was before!

5. Thank God for everything: Once the day ends and you are in bed, just take a few moments to thank god for everything he has given to you, for the day, for food, shelter, everything! Because life is uncertain, you never know when a moment will take everything away from you.

[littlemuddledhead]

Its so hard to be on your own.

[littlemuddledhead]

To all the frenemies,

How long has it been since we last talked? A couple of months I guess! So how has life been since? I was wondering recently what my life was like back then, how dull and depressing. However, it occurred to me that yours was actually quite the same!

Did you achieve what you were looking for? If you have, then great! I am happy for you. If not, I am glad I decided to walk out. My life back then when you were there was loaded with depression, and I discovered, I am better off without that! At first, I used to get irritated whenever anyone mentioned you in conversation.

But now, I think I have finally reached to that point where I have attained that closure Rachel was talking about! To be honest, I don’t remember the reason of the misunderstandings between us. But I for sure know that walking off was the best!

I figured out how immature we were back at that time. That friendship turned into hatred was all we used to talk about to others. We were so foolish to blame each other for anything that happened. We unnecessarily got ourselves into a phase we hated. Actually maybe not you, but definitely me!

Yes you were important to me back in your time. I still respect you. The golden period we have lived was worth it. But not everything that starts well ends well. Besides, I have much more important and loving people in my life now, and guess what? I adore them! My close circle might not be as big as yours, but darling trust me, I have the best of all!

Have a great life ahead.

~Not a friend, not an enemy

[littlemuddledhead]

The level of happiness when someone you don't know appreciates your work is unparallel!

P.s I love you all my followers <3

[littlemuddledhead]

Have you ever come across someone who just adorns you in the way you are! They find happiness in just being with you, they make you feel complete, and they add an essence to your life.

Some people are just the right ones for you. They make you feel at home, no matter where you are or what is going on in your life. They understand you in a way no one ever has, they read your silence, and they see your scars through your smile. It doesn’t take them much to love you. They find one reason enough to stick by you.

These people may fight with you, not agree with you over many things, but they never stop respecting you for who you are. They do not make you feel bad about yourself; instead, they make you face the reality which you find hard to accept. They make you analyze what the world is criticizing you for, they make you see the reality, and motivate you to work upon it. They always praise you in public, they correct you in private. They never look down upon any thing you do, they always support you, and they always love you.

They become your family before you know it, you love them more than you realize. These people mean the world to you. a friend, a partner; anyone may take this place in your heart. You will feel void in their absence, content in their presence and blessed for their existence!

[littlemuddledhead]

How weird and painful it is to stop talking to someone with whom you used to spend hours daily!

[littlemuddledhead]

What calms you down the most? Is it sleeping in your warm and cozy bed or is it going around the block for a run? Is it laying down on the sofa with a pack of cheetos in your hand or is it watching your favorite movie on netflix? Does meditation calm you down or do you count on your best friend to do the job? Is it talking to your loved one or discarding everyone and everything till you have calmed yourself down in loneliness? Is having a day off from work helpful or do you tend to go an extra mile today just to beat the anxiety?

Our lives are full of events which tend to annoy or distress us. Life without any of such things in not complete. However, what we can do is hang on to any thing, any one thing which helps us grow through everything. There is a lot already that we have to deal with every day, but there is still more to come. Our last and only chance now remains with hope. The hope that things will get better, hope that times of hardships will pass, hope that you will get to see your loved one again, hope that you are not alone in any of this. Life as it is, is not as complicated as we take it to be, it is meant to be lived and worked for, and it is this hope and this calm attitude that will help us through this journey!

[littlemuddledhead]

To the Netflix Generation

Another night, another 3 a.m. another binge watch? You promised yourself to sleep on time tonight, didn’t you? It has become an addiction, hasn’t it? Speaking on behalf of the masses, laying in bed at 2.30 a.m, in a cozy blanket and a bowl of popcorn by the corner is our most favorite thing to do! We will to survive another day feeling worn out, we will even curse ourselves for the never altering schedule we have! However, we will be the same owls at night who will have their eyes glued to the television screen, just to know what happens next in the mystery in hand.

We are the generation that has seen everything. Right from Nokia 650 to IPhone 12 pro, from going to restaurants to having delivered through swiggy and zomato, from the time when 1.5 GB data was enough for the whole month to the time when the same 1.5GB data is less for 24 hours, from Congress to BJP, from living life to surviving life, from street cricket to PUBG, we have come a long way, haven’t we?

Waking up early to hang out with friends is not a thing anymore. Specific time for cartoons is a long gone history. Catching up on weekends is a thing of past now. We as a generation are competent, we have a clarity in our thoughts and power in our speech which probably our ancestors didn’t have. We stand up for what we think is right, we protest, we support, we have a specific drive for life. We are not among them who work within the limits, we are the ones who break stereotype, invent something new, no matter How many questions are thrown up on us.

We believe in thinking outside the box. End game for us is not studying engineering or medical, it is about doing what we love, and we do not care about what the society will think about us. Our aim is not a nine to five job, we think bigger, we aim for everything that is considered impossible.

Yes we are the Netflix Generation, yes we are not bound in the mornings and nights of 24 hours, yes we like to do things our own way. Yes our aim one day is to prove to our elders that we can mould our lives the way we want it to be.