A warriors mentality with a poets heart.

And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.

[mortmicpodcast]

Perpetual puns

- Red

[funny-tik-toks]

Thera the deaf ferret gets a surprise!

[mumble--bee]

😲

[ladamania]

Visit Original Link

[ruinedchildhood]

zombiesusingtheinternets:

damnthatswhatshesaid:

Significant piece of childhood, get your ASS on my blog

[theproblematicblogger]

So I have a question for my followers: are there any conspiracy theories you’re 100% convinced are real

[berqamot-deactivated20190704]

Canadian prime minister Justing Trudeau is the illegitimate son of the late Cuban dictator Fidel Castro

[unstumpabledeplorable]

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

[feminists-against-feminism]

Castro with Treudeau’s parents

holding Justin’s older brother as a baby

Supposed parents are both white, yet Justin has Brown nipples

[ampersand-prime]

See, the nipples angle is just not something I would’ve thought to pursue

[feminists-against-feminism]

1000$ says his brother, who actually looks like his father Pierre, has pink nipples.

[theproblematicblogger]

Do we have a picture of Fidel’s nipples? My searches have yielded fakes and forgeries.

[drinkyourfuckingmilk]

the final battle in trespasser was an absolute clusterfuck and you know solas was looking down on it all like “my friends…my stupid, puny, mortal friends”

[visja]

hdjwndhxkwjsufjrbd this is the best

[solverne-02]

🤣🤣🤣

[buttsonthebeach]

I AM FUCKING DYING

[mogwaei]

Perfection

[succubused]

not to be a monsterfucker but this sphinx is…..kinda sexy

[succubused]

ma’am i will answer your riddles any day of the week

[succubused]

sphinx got him

[assassinofroses]

Pretty sure she counts as monstrous lol

[succubused]

oh so we’re gatekeeping monsterfucking now huh

[seelcudoom]

to be fair gatekeeping is kind of sphinxes thing

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

jesus christ, be polite to children and show them manners. fucking say excuse me when you walk past them, apologize to them when you cut them off, thank them when they’re courteous to you. they’re not little objects that don’t matter. you should be a fucking example and teach them how to treat people, instead of acting like they’re these invisible THINGS that don’t have feelings or don’t notice when they aren’t acknowledged. be polite to children the same way you’d be polite to someone of your own age group or older. you can respect a child.

[catchymemes]

The Collection

[sad-wolf-timezones]

I love this persons work lmao

[fuckyahumor]

good post

[draconym]

I often work with children and it makes me kind of sad when I’m at work and I start talking to a small child and their parent says something like, “oh, she’s sixteen months, she can’t understand you.”

Like, 1. I know what a toddler is and 2. not with that attitude she won’t.

[draconym]

There are a lot of great additions to this post, but I think this also may be the time for me to share one of my favorite stories about myself.

Growing up, I spent most days with my grandmother while my parents were at work. My grandmother was a spry old Estonian woman from Saaremaa who had herself grown up on a farm, but her favorite hobbies in her retirement were reading, being a card shark, and gardening. She had a lovely backyard with a lot of flowers: both those native to Maryland and some that reminded her of her homeland. She spent a lot of time out in the garden, and my very earliest memories are of sitting in the grass watching her putter around in the dirt on her hands and knees.

So one weekend afternoon when I’m perhaps barely a year old, I’m at my parents’ house on their day off, just sort of noodling around on the grass behind our townhouse. My mom thinks she hears me babbling to myself and so she quietly sneaks up behind me, hoping to maybe catch some of my first words.

As she gets closer, she notices that I’m pulling up grass in my fat little baby hands while I mutter something. Just fistful after fistful of grass and tossing it in every direction. She gets up right behind me and finally she can make out what it is I’m saying as I rip up the lawn:

“God damn weeds. God damn weeds! God damn weeds.”

[teaboot]

Children have an incredible capacity for learning that we underestimate all the damn time.

When I was three or four, my mom (who was a single parent with an incredibly understanding boss) used to take me to work with her, and I would spend the day doing 3 things: napping under her desk, cooking macaroni in the break room, and learning about biospheres via interactive explorer games that plugged into this ancient early-era PC.

(My favourite thing was this video clip of a cameraman getting chased down by a frilled lizard. I loved it so much, my mom found me a frilled lizard beanie-baby named ‘lizzie’. I shoved sugar packets into her mouth.)

Anyhow, one day my grandpa comes to visit, and because every kid loves dinosaurs he and my mom took me to the museum.

There, there was a bunch of life-sized animal statues, right? And so my grandpa thinks, ‘oh, wouldn’t it be fun to teach my granddaughter something?’ He points to one and I remember, he went: “Sweetie, do you know what this one is called?”

There’s a gap in my memory t here, so I can’t be sure what I said, but according to my mother who still howls with laughter over it to this day, I gave my poor late grandfather a dry, unimpressed look and told him, a foot and a half tall with rainbow-colored poofy pants, “It’s a kangaroo, gran'pa John. They’re marsupials.”

Apparently after that he just walked away

[idezwitch]

and i oop-

[whatevercomestomymind]

Boost this. Malicious fucking compliance y'all. Tie up their legal system with tens of thousands of cases. Burn their state government’s cash on this issue. Force them to play by the Nth degree of this idiotic rule.

[nube-1-deactivated20210117]

[northofcorpis]

That fuckin smile at the end

[bettsplendens]

To the worried person in the comments: 

No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

[sindri42]

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.

However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.

Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

[ubercharge]

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

never understood people who let candy melt in their mouth. ill bite down on a damn jolly rancher because i lack the patience 

[clownclownclown]

It’s like a dishwasher

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

i dont understand even a little bit thank you

[fucked-up-but-it-is-what-it-is]

mood

[forfawkssake]

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

[jonmoxleys]

sometimes it just ends up being something like

[onlyhereforthedrama]

ITS BACK

[dontleavemydreams-deactivated20]

lord 

[uhmgilinsky]

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

[forfawkssake]

Please stop reblogging this post

[myterribletwenties]

This post made my water break

[myterribletwenties]

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

[forfawkssake]

WHAT

[vintar]

i’m watching a british youtuber’s birthday stream and an aussie viewer sent in a comment saying “why was he born so beautiful, why was he born at all? because he had no say in it, no say in it at all” which was received with confused existential horror, and this is how i just discovered that australian happy birthday songs are not universal

[argumate]

oops

[languageoclock]

do you not sing this in other countries?!?!??

[stele3]

NO we do not sing a lament for someone’s personal beauty wishing they’d never been born. That is some weird Greek tragedy shit.

[vintar]

i’m watching a british youtuber’s birthday stream and an aussie viewer sent in a comment saying “why was he born so beautiful, why was he born at all? because he had no say in it, no say in it at all” which was received with confused existential horror, and this is how i just discovered that australian happy birthday songs are not universal

[argumate]

oops

[languageoclock]

do you not sing this in other countries?!?!??

[stele3]

NO we do not sing a lament for someone’s personal beauty wishing they’d never been born. That is some weird Greek tragedy shit.

[geek-scientist]

jane the virgin: portraying a bisexual man in a healthy relationship and slaying biphobes since 2017

[newrucas]

It’s really interesting what she says “I can’t give you what a man can.” A lot of gay men avoid relationships with bi men because they worry that they can’t provide what a woman can. People, gay or straight, think that for a bi person the grass is always greener on the other side.

[lex-evetta]

Straight men and lesbians have said the same. It’s insecurity rooted in the notion that bi people have all the options constantly at their fingertips AND are insatiable. We don’t choose a team, we choose a person. A failure to understand this mostly boils down to people not believing bisexuality is real.