THE SUNS OUT GUNS OUT MILITIA

Twelve shekels to the man who kills me

[captioningcrusader]

are these even legal anymore

[habkeinb0ck-deactivated20250609]

Művészet

[riverdoge]

the muffled ‘Call Me Maybe’ by Carly Rae Jepsen in the background is what really sells this video for me tbh

[annieskywalker]

Potions master

[timelorddarthswagger]

The peak anxiety of not know if the video will be a success or a failure until the end or one of those random twist videos.

[ampersand-prime]

That’s it. I like men now

[discourseful]

[carnival-phantasm]

[weirdness-is-good]

[christineebersole]

This post isn’t written in any known human language

[patheticperipatetic]

Is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?

[prokopetz]

I’ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: “How do these critters masturbate?”

[ruingaraf]

what if masturbation was uniquely a human experience though

[prokopetz]

Okay, I know that you meant “what if humans are the only intelligent species that’s anatomically capable of masturbating?”, but now I’m picturing a universe where humans are the only ones that ever thought to try it.

Human masturbation specialists traveling the galaxy to offer our gift, undertaking rigorous study and enormous personal risk to teach weird-ass aliens how to rub one out.

Calculating the exact harmonic frequencies to allow ancient, vacuum-dwelling crystalline intelligences to self-stimulate.

Descending into the crushing atmospheres of gas giants in specially constructed aerostats to design sex toys for the vast, jellyfish-like super-predators that prowl the hurricane slipstreams.

Wanking is our genius. Our legacy.

[berlynn-wohl]

[rhube]

That last addition is possibly my favourite thing Tumblr has ever done for the world.

[sincerelycalum]

literally everyone is coming for dj khaled

[dclaire13]

not his wife

[dolphin-machine]

HAVE YOU HEARD!? DEATH GRIPS DROPPED A NEW ALBUM!

No I have not. What is it called?

It’s called….um it’s called…. hold on one second…

…

…

…It’s called Ni-

Hey guys, whatcha talking about?

oh um n-nothing just the n-new uh Death Grips alb-

NIGGAS ON THE MOON!? OH SHIT THAT SHIT IS TIGHT!

[redbloodedamerica]

[feminists-against-feminism]

That, but also, this

[feminists-against-feminism]

I did another one

[its-a-human-thing]

Keep them coming lol

[feminists-against-feminism]

[feminists-against-feminism]

I really need to find a blank of this meme

[its-a-human-thing]

This is the best one yet

[feminists-against-feminism]

.

[feminists-against-feminism]

[feminists-against-feminism]

[feminists-against-feminism]

[igglooaustralia]

I have never laughed so hard

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

I am despondent

[babyfireflyisdead]

My soul just left my entire body

[cake-warrior]

I’ve gone to a better place

[secondhand-sheep-shack]

Schools are safer than they were in the 90s, and school shootings are not more common than they used to be, researchers say

Northeastern University's official news source

“The thing to remember is that these are extremely rare events, and no matter what you can come up with to prevent it, the shooter will have a workaround,” Fox said, adding that over the past 35 years, there have been only five cases in which someone ages 18 to 20 used an assault rifle in a mass shooting.

In 2014-15, the student-to-school counselor ratio was 482-to-1, according to the American School Counselor Association, nearly twice the organization’s recommended ratio. 8 mass shootings at schools since 1996. 8 things in 22 years.  Everyone’s bad at math it seems.  If you go here: https://ballotpedia.org/United_States_school_shootings,_1990-present#Quick_facts Add up all fatalities and injuries from school shootings you get: 518 since 1990.  There’s an estimated 55 million students in the US per the study from Northeastern. 55 million divided by 12 grades = 4,583,333 students per grade (averaged). Even going the easy route and assuming that 55 million per year is the same for all 28 years in question in the 2nd link - 55 million * 28 years = 1,540,000,000 - 1.54 billion chances of being a student during the last 28 years of K-12 education. Even assuming all things were equal and K-12 had the same rate of shootings/injuries/deaths by school shootings…You’re looking at a chance for a student to be involved in a mass shooting of - 518 (involved) divided by 1.54 billion = 0.000000336363  - or 0.0000336363% - 33 millionths of a percent.  Please stop saying its for the children when we know you’re just bad at math.

[danishprince]

a game called “hamlet, kanye west, or dril” in which you are given a quote without context and subsequently must determine whether or not it originates from shakespeare’s extremely well-known tragedy hamlet, highly influential rapper/fashion mogul kanye west, or noted Weird Twitter account dril. it may sound easy but i have a feeling it’d be at least a little bit harder than it sounds

[lizawithazed]

if you think this is easy, please remember drill said “I will face god and walk backwards into hell” Kanye West said “Nothing in life is promised except death” and Hamlet said “Words! Words. WORDS.”

[ampersand-prime]

[hesjayrich]

Holy shit! This could be Good! THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE GOOD!!!

[montatora501-deactivated2018121]

That face is pure nightmares…… Perfect!!

[grimphantom2]

I’m not impressed.

Don’t you guys notice that the majority of the scenes we don’t see Venom in action or trying to swing using his Symbiote as webbing? Sure, we see him with the motorcycle but why does he need a motorcycle, to begin with?

There where rumors that the movie just focuses on Brock and the symbiote is used in tiny proportions until the last minutes he turns into Venom and watching the trailer it does seem to go to that road.

So yeah guys, DON’T FALL FOR THIS! Don’t waste your money, it will turn out bad.

[gservator]

I’m gonna fall for it, if not for visuals and the prospect of a solo Venom movie alone, I honestly don’t care if it’s about Eddy Brock, Eddy Brock is the vessel for Venom so it’s good to get his story while also cementing Venom as an actual thing rather than this travesty

[noitemsfoxonlyfinaldestination]

venom fucks hard so of course they’ve got all the gays on board for this

[gservator]

[ampersand-prime]

I don't know who animated those symbiotic lips but I want them taken into the street and shot in the back of the head.

[notchicken]

Kids are interesting. I’m babysitting a 9 year old boy right now who’s homework is to write a fictional story and he wrote about how in millions of years the sun will expand killing everything and one man fell asleep at the beach and missed all the official announcements about the world ending but he managed to be the only survivor of the solar flares because he applied SPF 100 sunscreen.

[guerrillawar]

[angoragoats]

Sassy

[chrissongzzz]

So how do they make that?

[tylorioussex-deactivated2024062]

This just raises more questions for me 🤦🏾‍♂️

[pondwitch]

what the FUCK

[pochowek]

[brunhiddensmusings]

this is whats called a ‘coffer dam’, you basically build some walls, drop them in the water, tie them together, and then pump out the water from your new hole in the water so you can build while staying dry its oddly not that hard- the flippin ROMANS were able to do it with logs and mud

occasionally particularly devious people would use this to hide treasure or tombs underneath the river so its not only impossible to find but impossible to get to without an engineer division

[aggrokawaii]

I would be terrified every single moment working in that thing.

[pfcanimal]

To be fair, @aggrokawaii you’d probably be terrified of every construction environment, when push to the extremes. Working on steel beam skeletons of sky scrapers, around the high voltage of live line repairs, in the nuclear environment of a nuclear generator, he’ll even around the falling giants of lumberjacks have become accustomed too.

This shit happens everyday, in order to sustain the way of life you’ve grown accustom too.

[10370150]

the injuries ive seen on the job… near death experiences. the white collar worker will never understand

[adventuregoats]

Theodore says smile it’s a happy day!

[respectfulmemes]