because I’m in my emo mood, but let’s talk about aron.
i’ve been in this fandom for the 5th year now (i joined post hello era) and in some ways, i’ve felt like I’ve not only just watch these boys grew up, but grew up along them. so, let’s talk about aron. i was an aron stan before i truly knew it - i just liked how he seemed so fun-loving and derpy, how he can sing and rap and writes his own lyrics.
and what really sealed the deal for me was him on radio with music access. it’s not the most stellar of his records - we all knew about the past that haunt him till this date. but this post isn’t about that because it’s long over. for those that had never, ever heard music access, you wouldn’t know how much the radio meant to international fans. aron not only hosted the most successful radio show in arirang that he got an article written about him connecting international fans to kpop during his stint, he also helped to build this community known as music access family.
loves who tuned in from all over the world sort of knew each other, some closer to others as they’ve interacted. i kept to myself more, so i don’t really know others, but i remember hearing certain names from different regions, seeing certain ids over and over again. and aron does too, because he might not have seen our faces, but he remembered our stories if you write in to him enough. he remembered the time he name a pet or the time you’ve met a slump, he gave words of encouragement to people who felt like they’ve hit a wall, he made us laugh at some of the silliest things.
there were moments where you can tell that he’s not in the mood, that he’s sick and he’s tired, but aron is human and we know that. so we appreciate even more the effort he tries to keep focus on the show. and he has helped so. many. people in ways that people don’t seem to realise.
aron lost a ton of fans after his supposed controversy, and as an aron bias, this hurts a lot. it hurts a lot because we see how his apologies are buried over by sheer hate; we see how a man so confident and straightforward has changed for the better but ignored and dragged on for months, even now. it hurts because we know - he knows - that no matter what, this thing has stained his history and there’s no turning back.
and yet, at the same time, we have taken steps forward. aron’s changed a lot. but him appreciating fans a lot is not new. in many fancams you can see how aron interact with loves, and how he make his rounds during fanmeeting to shake as many hands as possible. someone i knew said that she missed out on a high touch with aron during a fanmeet, but aron rounded back on his way to the stage; personally, i’ve see them twice in real life going down the stage to greet fans and twice, aron has impressed me how thorough he is with high touch or greeting them.
it’s the reason im an aron bias, after all.
aron always had very little korean fans, and even lesser fansites. a lot of his old fansites ceased operations, not because they disliked him, but because real life has taken over. a fansite i knew stopped because they wanted to focus on their career. another left the country. and then…for what seemed like close to a year or two, we had to look at aron through previews of other members. on some days, it felt like aron wasn’t there - he’s cut away from the previews or only an arm’s showing in the next; his face was blurred and there were none of his personal photos.
it got to the point where other member fansites posted photos of aron because there was none if they didn’t, because they wanted to help their fellow friends and fansitemasters who weren’t able to make it to the event. and we cherished it, all aron-stans. for every preview we had, we cried in joy, hyping it in our social media and kakao chats. we’re glad to see a photo of his full outfit, because most of the time, an arm or a leg or part of the back of his head is all we got.
( and even then, we told ourselves that we were lucky, because at least we knew the color of the shirt he wore. )
and it hurts too, frankly speaking. i’ve shed tears over this because of how more aron seemed to be hidden away and invisible. i’ve pondered why my bias doesn’t seem likeable to others when i firmly believed otherwise. i wondered, worried, if aron actually knew?
and i think he does. because he tries.
“i’d work on my korean.” “thank you for coming” “i’d try to post in the fancafe more often” “thank you for cheering on me too”
you’ve heard him said the last sentence in their last fanmeeting as nuest w, but did you know he’s pretty much been saying it since forever?
but now…im glad. there are more and more aron fansites again, and ice tea nim even came back briefly. for all the slumps we’ve witness aron gone through, to seeing his tears on their first win, we’re truly, truly happy for him. because now people are loving him as a member of the group, and people are willing to learn about him.
and most importantly, they knew what he said and they acknowledged his apology, and they’re giving him a second chance like how they’re giving nu’est a second chance, and it’s in this that i cannot be more grateful about. because i don’t think aron - or the boys - are perfect, but they aren’t as mean or an asshole as some people make them out to be, and they learn and matured and poured in their hard work time and time again to be who they are today.
words just can’t describe how proud i am, and glad to know that they’re accepting aron as he is, his changed self and his derpy self, his smart caring self and his hardworking self.
so yes, let’s talk about aron, because he deserves to be loved as a member of nu’est too. and thank you, to every love out there, who may not like him (yet) but at least given him a chance.
as an aron stan, thank you, for giving him a reason not to regret staying for his dream, for his brothers and fellow loves. this boy gave up new york university and was apart from his family members, coming to seoul alone when he speak none of the language nor understand the culture and it would never have been easy. but now, i think, at least he wouldn’t leave with any regrets years down the road.
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