Living with Misophonia

Ash (she/her), 23, living with misophonia! Misophonia (4S) is a neurological disorder in which extremely negative emotions are triggered by specific sounds. Professionally diagnosed July/2015. Married to @Vomast . Feel free to ask me anything! Stay Strong!

[living-with-miso]

i absolutely love your blog! as a fellow misophonia sufferer, it’s comforting to see that others have the same thing and that i’m not alone. 💕💕

Thank you! I've been a bit of a stranger on Tumblr the last few years, but this blog and this community are super special to me. They remind me that I'm not alone in this when miso gets tough to deal with. The relief of knowing that there are others who understand how you feel is so amazing and validating!

[living-with-miso]

Hi! My partner has symptoms which likely seem to be misophonia -- though she's undiagnosed and, as far as I know from talking with her, hasn't done much research into her condition. With that in mind, I'm interested in book recommendations regarding the condition -- since research is likely updating constantly I'm not sure which books might be the best.

Hi! Firstly, I think it's so great that you're wanting to research their condition and find resources. That shows great initiative! The best book that comes to mind is "Understanding and Overcoming Misophonia" by Tom Dozier. I read it a few years ago and it's still sitting on my bookshelf. My dad didn't understand miso at first and would get frustrated with me, so I let him borrow my copy. After reading it he apologized to me and said he understood it a lot better. It's a great first step! Good luck with everything, and give your partner a big hug from all of us!

Anyone else have a book recommendation?

[living-with-miso]

Oh shit, y'all!

[forever-hating-my-misophonia]

I dead-ass saw a 43 year old man on a misophonia livestream tell a bunch of girls in high school and middle school that misophonia doesn’t get any better and that “it get’s worse” when they asked him if there was hope for them being happier in the future and now I’m determined to make sure every other kid/teen with misophonia knows that he’s fucking wrong and shouldn’t be telling kids that.

[living-with-miso]

Fun fact! I'm only 21 but my miso has become so much easier to live with since I was a teenager. I remember being so afraid that I would never be happy, and that it would never get better. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard to live with, but not nearly as bad as it used to be! The great thing about growing up is that you have more control over your own life, which means a lot of the time you get to control your own exposure to triggers. Not so much in public, but you don't have to be stuck with your family triggering you 24/7 anymore! It gets better guys. Don't ever let anyone tell you it doesn't just because it didn't for them personally.

[eternalhoodie]

Misophonia Awareness Video

Hey guys! I’m making a Misophonia Awareness vid and need your help! I’m taking in video submissions of yourselves (those with miso) saying specific things and talking about your stories. I’ll also be taking in artwork relating to misophonia!

Some of the thing’s im looking for in a submission:

•"I’m______ and I have Misophonia"

•"Misophonia is real"

•If you’re diagnosed, how long it took to get diagnosed from when you first developed it. Like if you developed it at 10 and you’re 16 and just got diagnosed it took 6 years.

•How you cope

•How it has impacted your life

•A summary of how you discovered what Misophonia is

•Shut down a myth.

•"Misophonia is not_______“. (sound rage, chewing rage, fake, a joke,. etc)

•Picture of yourselves wearing headphones/earplugs/covering ears

•Summary of your story (aka just not super long version of it)

I will be taking video without your face in it as well! I understand not everyone is comfortable sharing their face and while I encourage it, I understand and will take the audio as well!!!

Remember this is about and for people with Misophonia so be considerate with the noise in the video. Please avoid any common triggers. I will not use any footage that contains common triggers.

Also remember this will be on the internet so make sure you’re okay with that before submitting anything!!

You can submit video and images at [email protected]

DM me any messages! You can also get more info on my SpeakOutMisophonia instagram account.

Thank you to all who participate!

[living-with-miso]

Hey guys! This is such a cool idea. Please participate if you can!

[staff]

Happy International Women’s Day, Tumblr! 

Let’s take a moment to celebrate the women in our lives right now, the women we looked up to growing up, and the women who have opened doors for the next generation. Without them, we’d be nowhere.

[staying-strong-with-miso]

I'm 14, my counsellor has never heard of miso and is trying to get me to expose myself to the noises and said that its my responsibility and my problem and no one else, especially my family, should have to hear about it if I'm triggered...

ohh no. no they do not. do you have a therapist? can you afford one? will your parents get you one? when I was in high school, the counselors, the school board, all tried to force me to work in a triggering situation. my parents got in touch with Dr. Jaffe, a misophonia counselor who works by skype. she sent a scathing email to the counselor and the board forcing them to stop. my regular therapist (whom I adore) also sent multiple letters and calls on my behalf. If your family isn’t advocating for you, get a therapist who will advocate for you. if you can’t afford one/your parents won’t set it up, I know @living-with-miso will personally write an email to your counselor on your behalf as Chairman of Public Awareness at The Misophonia Institute. 

you should not expose yourself to the noises. it is not your fault. your counselor is wrong, idiotic, and should be fired. I hope your family is on your side. If they are not, it’s not impossible to change their minds. don’t give up hope. I recommend printing out some good articles on misophonia, use examples from the past when explaining, and never stop self-advocating.

this “counselor” is obviously speaking from a place of ignorance. when talking to them, project confidence. speak with conviction. this is what you have. this is your situation. it is their job to help. bring articles on misophonia to them too. excerpts, specifically from the book, “Understanding And Overcoming Misophonia, A Conditioned Aversive Reflex Disorder”. Personally I find that the author, Tom Dozier’s, views in quite a bit of the chapters crumble under the new research, but some parts continue to be helpful and factual. ex.

a good part. from below↓

honestly? just print these out and shove it in that persons face. “this is my condition. I have misophonia. it’s your job to help me. help me.”

[living-with-miso]

I'm not a doctor, psychologist, or therapist, so I can't write a formal accommodation letter. However, I can write a strongly worded letter of recommendation as to how you should be treated. Please let me know if you need a letter like this. I will personalize it and send it to you for proof reading. Stay strong!!

[strongfromourveryweakness]

When that misophonia trigger hits ya

[strongfromourveryweakness]

My Blog is Off to Preschool!!

Okay not really, but I just realized my blog is 4 years old today and that’s honestly wild to me. I met my beautiful wife through this blog. I’ve had speaking opportunities because of this blog. I’m the Misophonia Research Institute’s vice-chairman of Public Awareness because of this blog. 

This blog has helped shape me into a decent person and I’m just glad I can help people with my horrible drawings and terrible sense of humor. 

Thanks everyone for four years. You are the reason I do what I do. I’ve met so many of you and you’re the very best of people and I’m so thankful for all of your support even though my hands have been useless this year and I haven’t been able to draw much xD 

Here’s to another year of whatever this is :) You guys are worth it and you’re all such beautiful, wonderful people.

Stay Brave Out There, Steven Thomas Vomacka

[living-with-miso]

Happy 4th Blog Birthday to my amazing husband 😙💜👌🎉👏

[living-with-miso]

1,500 Followers!

I noticed the other day that I passed 1,500 followers on Tumblr! Thank you so much everyone! When I started this blog in highschool, I never thought it would grant me the opportunities it has! Because of this blog I’ve spoken at the Misophonia conference, been appointed chairman of Public Awareness at the Misophonia Institute, and most importantly, I’ve had that chance to help so many people! If it weren’t for Tumblr, I also wouldn’t have met the love of my life.

Thank you again for all your support, and enjoy the celebratory cupcake photos! (Thank Steven for his artistic cupcake decorating talent) 

[living-with-miso]

2017: A Reflection

Well, 2017 was kind of a shit-show. 

I started off the year engaged to the love of my life, Steven from @powertotheoctopus. Our wedding was planned for June. My parents of course, didn’t approve of the idea at first, me being only 20 at the time. Funnily enough, my mom ended up picking the date, location, and planning everything from the food to the decorations. It was so cute to see her pretend not to be excited, but call me to tell me, “I just bought a big thing of pork so we can do pulled pork for the wedding!!”

In February we attended the Misophonia conference in Las Vegas, where we were keynote speakers! It was such an honor to speak at the conference, and I hope to do it again in 2018!

Unfortunately shortly after we returned from the conference, Steven’s health took a turn. His EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) worsened a lot to the point where we had to buy a wheelchair for trips to the store, or anywhere that would require walking for more than 30 seconds. (Thankfully it’s been getting better since then with exercise, so now he uses a walker and cane instead!)

In the Spring, I got a new job that I absolutely hated. I worked there for a few months before ultimately ending up somewhere else in the summer. Unfortunately Spring time was also when my family dog, Pippi, passed away. She was 15 at the time, so it was her time to go. it wasn’t easy to say goodbye. We’d had her since I was 5. Rest in peace, Pippi. 

Summer was an incredibly busy time! Steven celebrated his first Canada day and Pride Celebration, we got married, we moved to another town, and I started a new job! I’d realized that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with the schooling I had. (Go figure, right? $20,000 later, here I am)

I decided to apply for a position at a car dealership as a sales consultant. Somehow, even with my lack of qualifications, I was hired! I think it was my charm. Steven and I took a trip down to Seattle shortly after to visit his sister, which was a great time! We got to go to the 1st Starbucks store!

Part way through the summer we realized that the place we were living in was inhabitable. Extremely noisy neighbors, mold growing everywhere, you know, the usual for sketchy rental units. This led to us living in a tent for about a month until we were allowed to move into our next place part way through September. September was also the 1 year anniversary of my assault in 2016, which put some emotional stress on me. 

We moved into our new place, and all was well! We were safe, warm, happy, and (relatively) healthy! Nothing could possibly stop us now! ... Except for when I lost my job. 

Saturday, September 30th. I was fired completely out of the blue in the middle of the day, on the last day of the month, leaving me with no income to support my family. I was told by my manager that I wasn’t going to succeed in this industry, and that all I would do was put stress on my colleagues.

I was absolutely devastated. I hadn’t seen this coming at all, as I’d gotten nothing but compliments from my managers. They never talked to me about shortcomings before this, or gave me anything I needed to work on. 

However, because Steven can’t work (Immigration Laws in Canada) it was still on my shoulders. I sobbed uncontrollably for about an hour, spent the next hour applying for unemployment insurance, and then marched to the Wendy’s down the street. I told them my situation, and they hired me on the spot. I worked a 4 hour training shift the next day, before being invited for an interview at a rival dealership in town. 

Thankfully I was hired, and was back in the car business game. I had to start from the ground up, building my customer base all over again and learning new brands of cars. As stressful as that all was, I realize now that it was a blessing in disguise. I couldn’t seen how toxic the first dealership was while I was there. I didn’t notice that I wasn’t being treated the same as my male coworkers were, or that I wasn’t receiving proper training so I could succeed. 

I started at the new dealership on October 3rd. I’m still so grateful that they gave me a chance, and that they saw my potential. Now that I’ve been properly trained, I’m blossoming as a salesperson! 

The holidays came and went, as they do with everybody, and Steven and I had a great time with my family.

Which leads us to right now. The present moment. The last few weeks. 

I just passed 1,500 followers on Tumblr, which I know isn’t a lot. It’s been a personal dream of mine for a few years, and I’m so happy to finally have achieved it! Thank you so much to everyone who’s stuck by me this last year while shit hit the fan. 

I also just passed my probationary period at work which means I’m a full fledged employee! Passing probation means they can’t fire you out of the blue because you, “Just weren’t working out” which gives me a great sense of security. 

I’ve learned a lot about myself this year. I learned that I can handle being momentarily homeless and jobless, all while staying happily married. I also learned a few weeks ago that I’ve been suffering from ADHD my entire life. Nobody noticed the signs when I was a kid, and I never knew why I had so much trouble with such little things, even into adulthood. I’ve had tests upon tests to try and find out why I’m so tired all the time, why I’ve always had memory problems, why I have such little motivation, and why I get so emotional over seemingly nothing. My doctor and I are currently working to find the best medication for me, and I plan on seeing a specialist for a full assessment. 

Thank you so much to everyone who’s supported me throughout 2017. As rough as it was at times, it was so meaningful and special to me. I’ve struggled a lot, but I’ve also grown into a better person. 

Here’s to a fantastic 2018 everyone! Stay Strong!

[living-with-miso]

When someone says they understand your miso, and then pop in a piece of gum;

[misophonia-management]

I really shouldn’t have to say this, but I know there are a lot of young teenagers following this blog. Don’t be romantically involved with someone that doesn’t believe you about Misophonia, or acts like accommodating it is a burden, or makes fun of you for it. Especially don’t date someone that would trigger you for fun. Don’t even date someone that you feel like you can’t even tell about Misophonia.

If you haven’t been together for long, and you don’t want to tell them yet or aren’t sure yet if they will be accepting, that’s okay! Go at your own pace. But I hope that if the relationship lasts longer, you won’t stick around if they treat Misophonia like a joke or a significant inconvenience.

Your partner(s) should be able to be emotional support for you. If they’re ableist, they’re only going to make Misophonia more difficult for you and leave you feeling like you have to struggle with it on your own. That’s not a healthy relationship.

[living-with-miso]

Truth

[forever-hating-my-misophonia]

There’s noise and then there’s

~n o i s e~

[living-with-miso]

etsy. com/shop/SpeakOutMiso - i know i've already posted this on the discord, but for other misophonics outside of the discord, a misophonic friend of mine opened an etsy with misophonia-related pins !! they're very cute, and all proceeds will go towards the misophonia association's annual convention scholarship !

Thanks Mes! Here’s a quick link to the shop if anyone wants to have a look! SpeakOutMiso on Etsy

[living-with-miso]

Just wanted to say I stumbled upon this whole community of support online while i was at work today that i didn't know existed. Nearly shed a few tears I was so happy to see that this exists; I wish this was available when I was growing up. I can't even begin to describe how negatively this has affected how I interact with other people for 30 years, and the impossibility of describing it to people who can't understand the mental anguish it causes. So happy to see a community that understands.

I had the same reaction! Upon first discovering that Misophonia was a real thing when I was 17, I was so unbelievably happy and moved that there was an entire community waiting to support me. This community is so loving and caring, and I don’t know if I could have survived without it. 

[living-with-miso]

Hi. I have a little brother, he’s 12 and he has misophonia. It’s really hard for our family because he’s so young he doesn’t understand entirely what he’s feeling and will get so angry and doesn’t know how to control it. We are seeking professional help, but from our understanding there’s no cure. What advice would you give to a family that’s trying to help him/ what we can do for him? He already wears earbuds all the time but it barely helps and having to wear them upsets him more.

Hi! Thanks for the question! 

First of all, I want to personally thank you for trying to understand and help your brother. He may never express it, but it probably means the world to him. It hurts so much when our families brush it off and don’t try to help. 

Secondly, I wanted to link you to a helpful post. It’s an older one, but it’s still gold. “Loving your Misophonic Child” was originally written for parents of kids with misophonia, but it’s super helpful for anyone trying to understand and help. I would highly recommend sharing it with any members of your family who also want to help your brother. 

Some of the suggestions in that post seem like really small, insignificant things. But trust me, they really do make all the difference. Please let me know if you have any other questions I can help with! Tell your brother and the rest of your family to Stay Strong.