TUESDAYS

[jspark3000]

I had a friend who was dating a girl, and the girl left him for his boss. They all had to work together. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been.

Years later my friend opened his own business, but he took all his hurts with him. He hardly opened up to anyone, viciously arm-wrestled for authority, boiled hate at meetings, and ran things under a strict disciplinary cage.

I get it. If I had gone through what he did, I might have become the same person, too.

But I still miss who he was and who he could be.

The hard truth is that our trauma and trials are not always the worst things that happen to us. The worst is when we let it define us by a lie—that the world is bereft of any good, to never trust again, to retaliate first, to repay bitterness and contempt. It is a harsh internal whisper that says, “Never again, I’ll show them.”

All of this is understandable. Trauma is a brutal scar to manage. No one can forgive easily or recover quickly. But without finding resilience, therapy, or trusting good, safe people again, the sour whisper of distrust can slowly destroy you and everything you touch.

I hope I am not misheard. I believe you have a right to be angry. I have said many times: forgiveness does not mean friendship and you have your own tempo for healing. No one must let the abuser back in. Your anger comes from a real wound, a demand for justice.

At the same time—there is a stark difference between anger and contempt. I grieve for those define themselves by what‘s been taken, and for myself when my wounds become the portal by which I wound others.

You may have been embarrassed, stabbed in the back, betrayed, and cheated, and it may take a lifetime to recover. It will take so much work you never wanted to do. I can only hope, for you and me both, that in our pain we will not pass on more pain, but pass on wisdom and justice, to still believe that goodness is possible. That often means reconstructing a safe world which was taken from us, that others may reap the harvest of that haven.

God help us, may we be angry for and not against, and may we be strengthened for the painful work of healing.

— J.S.

[social-anxiety-mylife]

This hit me hard...

[loumovies]

Amy being the friend we all need.

Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde

[jasonapham]

[enchanted-dystopia]

REPRESENTATION MATTERS.

[profeminist]

[mysliceoffun]

Representation is SO important.

[jspark3000]

Which Books of the Bible Do I Start First?

shadytyrone asked:

For someone brand new to the faith, what is a good chapter of the Bible to start reading?

Hey dear friend, great question. I think it really depends on your learning style, but I can recommend a few ideas:

- The Book of John is almost always the best place to start. It has a ton of theology and shows specifically what Jesus came to do on the earth. It elaborates on seven miracles by Jesus in ascending order of power (starting with turning water into wine, ending with Jesus raising someone from the dead), and suddenly Jesus gets a hit contract on him because he’s considered too powerful. Jesus gives a few sermons before he dies, sort of like “last words,” and there’s a detailed account of Jesus’s activity after he jumps out of the grave. I also like the Book of Mark, as it’s the “action gospel” and moves very quickly through Jesus’s life, like a Robert Ludlum novel.

- Paul’s letters are extremely important. I would start with possibly Philippians (about joy and unity, written from one of Paul’s prison bids), and then Ephesians (about how Jesus saves us when we could not save ourselves). You might find stuff that sounds archaic or weird (some of his views on women or slaves will initially sound off-putting), but there’s a broader context for those statements, especially since he’s writing in the first century. I’d recommend also reading Colossians and Galatians, then Romans, which was supposed to be his final will and explanation of Christianity.

- Proverbs is all wisdom. It’s timeless. It has 31 chapters and could be done a chapter a day to fill out a month. Some of the Proverbs will reach right through your lungs and shake you up.

- Psalms is a lengthy book, but it contains the spectrum of every single possible human emotion, with every kind of interaction with God. The magnum opus of Psalms is chapter 119, which is the longest book of the Bible and seems intimidating, but it’s wonderful and worth the effort.

- The story of David is incredible (1 and 2 Samuel and the first two chapters of 1 Kings). I’ve taught on David more than any other Old Testament character. He’s endlessly fascinating and his life is the stuff of glorious, epic, Game-of-Thrones-level narrative. David goes from unknown nobody to overnight celebrity to completely scumbag royalty to a redeemed sickly old man. It’s a breathtaking ride, both maddening and heartbreaking. I’m certain that David suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, and he doubted God constantly. I guess I get mad at David while reading him because I see him in me, and I so badly want David to be redeemed, as if I would be redeemed, too.

- You could always start from the beginning at Genesis. The first book of the Bible, to be truthful, is pretty difficult to finish. There are alarming parts that won’t mesh with our twenty-first century sensibilities, like genocide and incest and sexual abuse and polygamy and selling kids into slavery. But Genesis is exactly that very story: about the frustrating efforts of a selfish humanity trying to be their own god and exploiting people for the approval that they once had in Him. It’s that simple (and complicated). Over and over, Genesis shows how depraved and awful we can really be, especially when we have zero unchecked authority. When you see it that way, you can see how patient that God really was when you know what He was dealing with. It seems He’s a little “wrath-crazy” in the Old Testament, but in my opinion, God was holding back way more than He should have. Genesis is essentially a case study of humanity’s very worst versus God’s very best.

- For a bit of “advanced reading,” try the Book of James. It has 54 imperative commands within 108 verses, and is essentially all marching orders once you become a Christian. This will grab you by the guts and won’t let go. For more of that, also hit up 1 John, another relentless book of truth and conviction.

- I have to give a shout-out to Ruth and Hosea. Ruth is the sweetest love story in the Bible, almost a romantic comedy, and Hosea is the most tragic, much more of a grand opera. Both are equally important in conveying God’s heart in the tides of human nature, and how much we really need a true love in the fluctuating ricochet of life.

— J.S.

[jspark3000]

If your faith is making you a jerk, throw it out and start over. If your faith doesn’t examine yourself first, you’ll never be humble with others. It’s that simple. Scripture must move us to compassion, to comfort, to accountability, to be wildly kind. Otherwise, it’s not the life that Jesus had in mind.

[feministism]

[gaysuggestions]

Dont let anyone try to convince you that you’re not a caring person bc you pushed them out of your life. You’re allowed to care for yourself

[leikamei]

[bob-belcher]

[bl-letters-i-never-sent-deactiv]

6 weeks ago today I took a lethal overdose. I should not still be alive to tell this story, I don’t think anyone can quite understand how I am still here. I was on life support for ten days, with three failed attempts to wake me, the diagnosis was looking like I was either not going to make it or be completely brain dead, I will never understand how but I am here and everything is physically okay besides my voice. The point of saying this is whilst I was just coming to it and everyone thinks you can’t hear them, I did. Family crying. People blaming themselves. I couldn’t talk and wake and say it wasn’t their fault. Although six weeks ago I wanted to die and didn’t intend to ever survive I am so glad I did. You think you want it all to end, but you really don’t you just want the pain to stop. I have to believe I am still here today for a reason, that my body fought so hard for a valued reason and I will live on to tell my story and do great things, if that is even saving one life then I am more than happy about that. Mental health can be so under talked about and it shouldn’t. Check up on your friends and family while you can, you never know the difference it can make. I am so ready to close this chapter instead of the book. If you are experiencing similar thoughts, know you are loved and it may be what you want right now but you can not take it back. I saw the pain it bought my family and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Don’t get me wrong I have so much healing and a long way to go but I am on a path to good things which I would’ve robbed myself of if I based the rest of my life of the temporary feelings I had. The devil in me won in that moment but the angel is fighting back the bad to now make way for the brilliant. You can do this too.

[noorshirazie]

“you tremble behind‘i do not want to talk about it,’ afraid that you will never heal if you keep returning to the wound.”

— Noor Shirazie

[lunas-worlds-blog]

"The good thing about life is that everything I've ever lost, it's been replaced with something bigger and better. I never lack, I just transition."

Lunas-worlds-blog

[veryfunnymemes]

[thegoodvybe]

[juansendizon]

“I love warmth. It is when she comes home from work, and she’s happy, and I’m happy because I’m grateful that writing silly poems is what I’d like to be doing for the rest of my life and it’s in her where my forever lives. She undresses herself, and it makes me feel playful and horny but mostly happy because she knows how amazed I am with her body. I’ve already told her that a thousand times in bed “Your breasts are so heavenly they drive me nuts” “You smell like a dream within a home, and I want to remember every scent of every part of you” She says the most profound things while we’re both cuddled into each other’s souls things like “If we’re in a song, I’d listen to the sound of our heartbeats all night long” “Love is forever and ever and ever even if a huge meteorite falls down from our roof and destroys us, we will always be together as light carrying on to another life,” and I really admire her both heart and mind. She’s the ray of sunlight that slips through a closed window on my most painful days. She’s the breath of fresh air the moment I choose to come out of my sea of misery. She’s my thank you for nothing at all except for this feeling that she’s happy, and I’m happy because I am the someone who gets to say “I love you” “I love you” “I love you” every day and every night and every moment that I’d be glad to let her know that she’s the reason to wake up with a smile for all of my tomorrows.”

— juansen dizon, A girl named Annie

[okay]