YALL REALLY DO BRING THIS BACK EVERY SEPTEMBER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Today's Document
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@livingqueen1
YALL REALLY DO BRING THIS BACK EVERY SEPTEMBER
tbh(thinkin bout Halloween)
Not Like The Others
You speak to me
I try to listen
You tell me to lead others
To you
To show them your light
But how?
How am i supposed to lead others
To your light
In their lives when
I can’t even see your light
In my own life
I look around the dark room
But see no light
So if I can”t see your light,
How am i supposed to show it to others?
Truth is,
I can’t
Ask others to show people your light
Because i can’t
I dont see your light
I dont see you
I’m not like the others
-[Holly Forsman]
Who Am I Really?
When I was 6 years old
I looked in the mirror
I told everyone i was going to grow up
To become a princess
Then I got older
When I was 10 years old
I looked in the mirror
I told everyone I wanted to grow up
And become a teacher
But then I got older
When I was 12 years old
You were born
I promised I’d be the best,
The best big sister in the world
But then I got older
I’m 15 years old now
I look in the mirror everyday
I think I’m doing just fine
But that’s the drugs talking
You’re 3 years old now,
Smiling,
Laughing,
For you all is right with the world
That you know of anyways
I look into your sparkling eyes,
And they are like a TV,
I see this image you have created of me
How I’m this happy person
And that’s when I realize
I’m not who you think
You don’t even know
Who your big sister
Truly is
Your Fragrance
Liquor,
It was your fragrance
The subtle scent you wore daily
Blended with musky cigarettes,
I will never forget
I think of you when I touch liquor,
When I smell cigarettes
Especially combined
You didn’t need any cologne,
You wore your liquor breath.
Every time I smell those two items,
I always think about how it was,
Your fragrance
-[Holly Forsman]
Peace
Everyday you see this view
Out of your highest window.
It’s beautiful.
You want to go there,
To this place of peace you see,
To escape the hate of this earth
You see this light outside,
As it gets brighter everyday.
The glass of the window,
Slowly brakes away from the window sill
Just a little bit everyday
Until one day,
When it’s completely open.
You look around,
Close the curtains behind you and
You take in one more sight of the light
You decide it’s time to leave now,
You grab the shutters outside
From inside your room,
Then you jump
To follow that light
So you can finally find,
Peace
-[Holly Forsman]
Eternal Rest
You believe it’s your time to go,
You need to leave,
So you finally give in and fly
All the way to heaven.
You walk through the gates
You’re finally up there,
In the kingdom of god.
You’re now there for eternity
The glory then pushes through your previous
Ice cold heart
You’re in the great beyond now.
I picture you laughing with god,
As we now painstakingly lay you down,
For eternal rest
-[Holly Forsman]
Last Breath
You expand your lungs,
Staring at the gun in your hand
You drink to get the courage,
To pull the trigger
You take one last look around
At the home you built with your wife
As you do so,
You inhale one last breath,
You shed a tear,
Because you can’t handle the pain
You pull the trigger,
And it’s over
Just like that.
In the blink of an eye,
You’re gone.
You took your life.
Now,
All that’s left down here
Is a huge pit of heartache,
And the depth,
Is endless
-[Holly Forsman]
Mental Storm
The raging thoughts,
They all swarm together
I can’t bare this,
The weather inside my mind
Blistering winds of memories,
Roaring thunder of negative voices,
It produces a squall of tears
That stream down my face,
Constantly.
I can’t sleep,
The storm won’t pass
So I deal with the natural destruction
It leaves in its path
Day after day,
Night after night
I can’t get away
From the wrath of my thoughts,
My mental storm
Conflicting Grief:
How do I process this?
I don’t shed any tears,
But my heavy heart still aches
I can’t do it
You hurt people a lot,
But you always loved me
Does your loss cripple me?
In some ways yes,
Though you were horrible at times.
How am I supposed to deal with this?
The shade of pale I saw you,
Will haunt me forever,
But you’re at peace now.
I’m mad at you for leaving,
But my heart still sorrows with sadness
Please tell me,
How do I grieve you now?
I can’t take it
My head and heart hurts,
From this brittle thing I call,
Conflicting Grief
-[Holly Forsman]
The Bottle Explodes
“Don’t bottle it up”
That’s what I’m always told.
Not to hide my pain,
Not to lock it away
But that’s how I was raised
Don’t cry,
Don’t shut down
Just push through it.
So that’s how I cope
All my feelings,
I shove them in a bottle,
I hide it,
Until it gets to be too much
That’s when it explodes.
I explode.
But that’s all I know
Hide it until it’s too much
Then go back and do it again.
Hide it until it’s too much,
Explode,
Repeat.
-[Holly Forsman]
Dark Star
Stars are made for a reason,
To light up the night
Everyone says,
“Be the brightest start in the sky,
Be the star that dances,
The one that everyone can see,”
But I’m not.
I’m not the brightest
Star in the sky
Some stars are dimmer,
Some are just there,
They barely shine at all
That’s me.
I’m the dim star,
The one that no one notices
I’m the least important star
No one notices me,
I’m just there,
In the back
Taking up space
I am,
The dark star
-[Holly Forsman]
Answer Me
Hello?
Is anybody there?
I’m screaming
At the top of my lungs,
Yet there’s no answer
All I hear,
Is the lonely echo of my voice.
My shadow,
Is my only friend.
Nobody hears me scream
I feel like I’m buried,
Six feet under
Because nobody hears me,
Nobody sees me.
I feel invisible
Why is my shadow
My only friend?
Why is the only talking I hear,
Is my own echo?
All I want is one person,
Just one person,
To answer me
-[Holly Forsman]
Nightmares
Here we go again
It’s the darkest time of the day,
Night time
It scares me
I thought I’d be able to escape reality
While I’m sleeping,
But then I dream.
I dream about the past,
About losing you,
About leaving this place,
I have nightmares about my life
I don’t want to sleep
I don’t want to dream
So I try and stay up
I watch tv,
I read,
I talk to you until you fall asleep
I watch you to make sure you fall asleep smiling
I write,
I listen to music
But then I fall asleep no matter what
And I dream
Ill wake up sweating and shaking,
Screaming and crying
This is why I hate night time
Especially when I’m here alone
No matter if I’m awake or asleep,
I can’t escape the night mares
I dream and have nightmares at night,
But I also live them during the day
Please oh please
Just make them stop
I can’t stand these nightmares
Not anymore
- [Holly Forsman]
This Feeling
How am I supposed to go on?
I fight everyday
I kick,
I yell,
I scream.
Yet you don’t hear me
You stand there in silence
Acting like everything was fine
You pretended to love me
You pretended to care.
Everything you said to me,
You lied.
I don’t know why,
But I can’t hate you
I still love you,
Despite what you’ve done to me
I’m told I should be mad
I should be this,
Or I should be that.
But the truth is,
I’m not.
I still love you.
And now everyday
I have to go on with my life,
And I have to fight the love I have,
I have to fight myself,
I will always have to fight
This feeling
- [Holly Forsman]
Your grandchild
Hey grandma,
It's me,
Down here on earth,
Saying hi
I can't come visit you up in heaven,
But I know this will reach you,
I love you
And i miss you.
I know you're out of pain,
You're finally happy again,
But down here,
I'm not
I cry myself to sleep,
As I stare at old pictures
The memories we made,
playing through my mind
As if it was a movie.
The words you said to me,
I can still hear them as clear as can be
"I love you too"
Is what you said to me once,
And I never forget it
Grandma you may be gone,
But you're not struggling anymore,
You may be gone,
But you're at peace
You may be gone,
But you'll never be forgotten,
Love,
your grandchild
- [holly forsman]
Behind
The first day we met
You said you would never hurt me
You said you cared
And I believed you
You gave me your word
And that ment something
To me
Weeks later you walked into
The locker room
We were getting ready for gym, and then
You looked me right in the eye
And smacked me across the face
It was that moment that I knew, you
Lied to me
You hurt me even thought you said you wouldn't
I forgave you because,
I cared
But later on, I learned it was a mistake
You continued to hurt me more and more
Each time it hurt more and more
You stabbed me in the back
When you went against your word so,
At that moment, I left you
Behind
-[Holly Forsman]