Oh my god, that is so profound. @lizzybearrr-blog - Tumblr Blog

neutraldankhotel

you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned

me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields

10inchflaccid-deactivated201701

what?

neutraldankhotel

I don’t know. i woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep

10inchflaccid-deactivated201701

hope youre okay

tastefullyoffensive

Try ketchup. (via imgur)

jackwynandmoved-deactivated2017

people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch the fuck out

yikyakapp-blog

harrypotterhousequotes

SLYTHERIN: “Icarus. The original myth had two parts. Daedalus said to his son, ‘I fashioned these wings for you. Two rules. Don’t fly too high, or the sun will melt the wax. But, more important, son, don’t fly too low. Because if you fly too low, the water and the waves will surely weigh down the wings, and you will die.’ We’ve left out the second part of the myth. We don’t say to people anymore, ‘Don’t fly too low.’ All we do from the time they are 4 years old is warn them against hubris. We have created this industrially-led structure that says: How dare you.” -Seth Godin

cantcontrolthegay-deactivated20

the rumors are true: im soft and i just want to be loved

garrus-vakkarian

doe-the-doe

christinedreamy

ulibeanzz

everything is a competition unless I’m losing and then fuck off not everything has to be a competition asshole

dinuguan

when puppies get to dog age just put ‘em in the trash

crimewave420

yeah we got a clear shot at him im about to take him out

sublime

sale

“do you think I have to blur out all the dildos?” blurs out trump’s face

justbrosthings

MAKE THEM DILDOS RAIN

only1600kids

tag yourself I’m the dildo-filled masterpiece

johannas-motivational-insults

Almost all the Happy Birthday Katniss edits made this year involve shots from the epilogue, and I’m just over here like, “The movie epilogue was horrible. They messed up the tone from the book epilogue, and Katniss looked nothing like herself. But if you want to celebrate how she lost all her character development to settle down with the character who challenged her least and don’t care that the movie glossed over her lingering sorrow and mental health issues, then by all means reblog away.”