Hi!

My name is Tendies (he/they) (23), and I love opossums. Feel free to message though I may be slow to respond.

[monstersflashlight]

Happy ides of march to all who celebrate, grab a knife, get to the stabbing!

🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️🔪🗡️

[escuerzoresucitado]

[notamean-greenbean]

one of the more unrealistic things in twilight is that a child of divorce immediately got married at 18 to someone she’s known for only like two years. like hello.

[shefoundhiminjanuary]

sometimes people who aren't twilight fans say things and it's like

that was one of the core conflicts in the plot man. like yeah she didn't want to get married, we spend like hours talking about it in those stupid books, even after she's shocked by her decision, and she is literally manipulated into it by giving inches to vampires who don't take no for an answer haha

[spikedru]

(twitter)

[sweetwithheatwriting]

@talesfromthecrypts

[neosatsuma]

[neosatsuma]

[dontbelasagnax]

Obi-Wan is like I got the kids in the divorce. They aren't even my kids. Or my divorce

[pipistrellus]

my favorite part in attack of the clones is when obi-wan just fucks off to play space nancy drew on Clone Rain Planet with the alarming giraffe-necked aliens and swans in like “HELLO IT’S ME, the jedi who definitely… … was here before and probably, uh, spoke to you, and stuff” and theyre like “ah you are here for the order” and hes like “beg pardon” and theyre like “the order of millions of identical human men?” and hes like “RIGHT YES. ABSOLUTELY I AM HERE FOR THE ORDER OF MILLIONS OF IDENTICAL HUMAN MEN”

and then later when he SNEAKS INTO A CORNER TO FUCKING… facetime yoda… like “ok so we have these millions of identical human men who were apparently suspiciously ordered for us by someone???” and yodas fucking response is just “when countless sapient lemons life gives you…….. send those lemons into intergalactic battle you must”

 and obi-wan’s like “shit man you’re so right" 

[kinky-space-nerd]

There literally isn’t a frame of this scene where Obi-Wan doesn’t look confused as hell

[cali]

soundscape of young green martian playing with pvc pipes

[dralphabet]

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[jaubaius]

Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell

[waffilicious]

imagine if a fuckin……. giant alien just showed up and stuck a huge hand in front of your face and then proceeded to offer you three different houses and wouldn’t stop until you moved out of your old shitty apartment and then helped you fuckin move

and then just left

[glitterary]

I first saw this on twitter and COULD NOT get over these comments:

Twitter link

[phantomrose96]

Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱

[boostmobilemastershake]

tough fucking luck losing my cart and my pack of camels in the same 48 hour period i suspect that it may have been ghouls

[ja-khajay]

are you a medieval silk road merchant

[crittizen]

this is a poem

[wa-u-moved]

i couldn’t not draw this

[i-say-ok]

ok…!

[luxury-nightmare]

babe are you okay, your reblogging the subway rat poem again

[marvelmaniac715]

It’s been a long week

[here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can]

oh i saw this in a sofia isella post lmao

[the-haiku-bot]

oh i saw this in

a sofia isella

post lmao

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[tendie-defender]

Look at him just having the funniest of times.

[chrono-meter-r]

Wheeee!!!! Yippee!! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

[glavilio]

when i see an abandoned bike locked to a rack with its wheels stolen my immediate mental image is always a shackled skeleton in a dungeon

[glavilio]

i go to university in california. it's like dark souls

[mapsontheweb]

Most oddly named town in each US state.

[ohifonlyx33]

i love small towns in America.

[thribby]

[iotaqizm]

like to slap maine’s bald head reblog to slap maine’s bald head

[distortion--world-deactivated20]

Lmao Toad Suck is literally right next to where I live. We even have a HUGE celebration downtown every year called “Toad Suck Daze”.

[insomniac-arrest]

Also a fave:

love places named like sleepover party games/gameshow slogans 

[football-in-tuxedos]

I feel like it’s important that y'all know: The town of Chicken, Alaska was originally supposed to be named Ptarmigan, cause, you know, there are a lot of ptarmigans around there. But when they were founding it they had an argument about whether or not there was a p at the front of ptarmigan, and they couldn’t agree and wound up just naming it Chicken instead.

[bloggoth]

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

[bloggoth]

it was pneumonia.

[bloggoth]

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

[bloggoth]

he shot her point blank

[reading-comp-posting]

Check for understanding:

How does the initial post imply “granny scorpion-shoes” died?

How does the first reblog subvert this?

How does the second reblog subvert this subversion?

How did granny scorpion-shoes die?

[thecheatinghomunculus]

new reaction image

[rural-panoptes]

[saintjosie]

[damnpharos]

[captain-price-unofficially]

[deerkibble]