☆ JustMariana ☆

Just blogging my own thoughts

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A Little Life – Devoid of drama and full of meaning

In a chaotic world where everything seems to rush us and cloud our minds, it’s essential to learn how to make the right decisions. Most people act out of habit, without truly asking themselves whether what they do is right — or even if it suits them. Endless entertainment, addictions, fleeting trends, constant drama and controversy: everything seems designed to distract you from what truly matters.

Live a life full of meaning, not of drama.

1. Control the excess of distraction

In a society where technology is omnipresent, it’s almost impossible to be fully disconnected. From morning to night, our eyes are glued to screens. Distractions aren’t inherently dangerous, but any excess always carries consequences.

The first step is to take back control — to replace useless distractions with activities that bring you meaning. It doesn’t have to be productive or useful; it simply needs to connect you with your inner world.

Four years ago, I began replacing endless phone scrolling with activities that genuinely enriched me in ways technology never could. Reading, writing, and photography became tools to help me understand what truly gave meaning to my life.

I wasn’t born to stare at a phone. I know this because the only way to find out why you live is to experience life itself — and to discover who you are in the process.

2. Be addicted to yourself and love your own company

Having lots of friends and being surrounded all the time can be wonderful, but the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you build with yourself. Learning to love every part of who you are is difficult, but it’s a necessary task — one that takes years, patience, and courage.

People often associate solitude with failure, yet it’s only in solitude that we can truly find ourselves. Learning to do things alone, and to enjoy the process, makes you unbreakable. Silence and solitude are among the greatest fears in modern society.

Go to a coffee shop alone and savor every bite. Go to the movies alone and watch that film you love. Time with yourself is a luxury or a treasure that many see as punishment, when in reality, it’s a form of freedom.

3. Think before you act

At some point, we become responsible for our actions — for what we consume, who we spend time with, and the words we speak. Mistakes happen, but acting without reflection means giving no value to consequences.

Take a step back before making decisions, big or small. Why? Because we shouldn’t live on autopilot. When you make conscious choices, they naturally carry meaning.

Always ask yourself:

"Why am I doing this?"

"Is it really worth it?"

"Does this bring something valuable to my life?"

Questioning yourself is the key to a meaningful life — it helps you focus on what truly matters.

4. Meditate and question yourself even more

To live a meaningful life, you must first understand what meaning truly means to you. Being rich, admired, or famous are goals that don’t go beyond the surface. Focus instead on nourishing your soul—on finding what makes it truly come alive.

Ask yourself:

"What sparks my curiosity?"

"What makes me passionate?"

In my opinion, a life without curiosity, without passion, without the desire to explore and experience — is the most absurd existence of all. Self-questioning is the root of wisdom and freedom.

5. Create something authentic

A story, a meal, a painting, a song, a united family, a memory — whatever form it takes, make sure it’s real and comes from the heart. Life becomes infinitely more beautiful when you create something that adds light to it.

Things made with love are the ones that matter most, because they’re real — and what’s real can always be felt.

My Conclusion

To live a meaningful life is to choose calm over chaos, depth over noise, and truth over illusion. It’s not about escaping drama, but about gently rebelling against a world that confuses attention with value.

Meaning isn’t found in excess or in other people’s approval — it’s found in the simplicity of living consciously.

Less drama, more presence, that’s the true richness of a little life.

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A Normal Life: The Biggest Gift You Could Ever Have

For a long time during my childhood, I often wished I could be someone else and live a completely different life.

I think many of us have felt the same way — that quiet boredom, that craving for escape, that desire to live something greater than ourselves. We dream of adventure, chaos, or fame, convinced that only the extraordinary is worth living for. We want to be the main characters of the greatest stories and call that living. But as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that real life is not extraordinary at all. It’s simple, fragile, and profoundly human. And that’s exactly what makes it a gift.

1. The routine

I wake up early, I go to school or to work, I come home, take a hot shower, and eat a good meal. Nothing spectacular — yet everything about it is precious. Learning to love routine means learning to love the peace and stability of an ordinary life. It means recognizing how lucky you are to be safe, to have a roof over your head, and to simply exist without fear.

Of course, life isn’t meant to be repetitive. The secret is finding balance. Taking care of your body and mind — eating three meals a day, sleeping enough, keeping your home tidy, saving money — is just as important as doing the things that make you feel alive: watching your favorite movie at the theater, playing the sport you love, traveling with your family, laughing with your friends. A balanced routine, filled with small joys, is an art of living. It’s through this simplicity that I began to understand what gratitude truly means.

2. Stop Escaping and Start Living the Present

Hollywood movies and science-fiction stories often make us believe that an extraordinary life means doing something great to feel great. We want to be exceptional because we’re afraid that being ordinary means being forgotten. But to live doesn’t mean to impress the world — it means to feel it deeply.

Pixar’s Soul illustrates this beautifully. The main character spends his life waiting for that one big moment that will finally give his existence meaning. Yet when he reaches it, he realizes that life’s true beauty was already there — in a slice of pizza, a soft breeze, a shared smile. This realization struck me deeply, because it expresses exactly what I’ve come to understand: the real adventure is learning to live fully in the present.

Similarly, Amélie tells the story of a young woman who finds happiness in making others happy. Amélie doesn’t live through great adventures or dramatic events; she observes, listens, and turns the smallest details into moments of quiet magic. Through her, we understand that life doesn’t need to be spectacular to be beautiful. Simply loving, helping, and marveling at everyday things is enough to give meaning to our existence.

Conclusion

We spend so much time dreaming of somewhere else that we forget to live where we are. Yet normality is not a flaw — it’s a blessing. Having an ordinary life already means living something extraordinary. Happiness doesn’t hide in chaos or greatness, but in the silent gratitude for what we already have. A normal life may just be the greatest gift a human being can ever receive.

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Buffalo'66: Love Heals The Broken

This text analyzes the 1998 film Buffalo ’66, directed by Vincent Gallo, focusing on its themes, characters, and emotional depth. Through a reflection on the film’s narrative and visual elements, it explores topics such as childhood trauma, emotional neglect, the search for love, and personal transformation. The analysis highlights how the story uses complex characters and symbolic storytelling to deliver a powerful message about human connection and healing.

The story takes place in the 90s, where Billy Brown, a man who has just finished serving his prison sentence, returns five years later to his hometown to visit his parents. On his way, Billy meets Layla, a young tap dancer, whom he forces to accompany him to his parents’ house, pretending she’s his wife under the name Wendy Balsam. Very quickly, we realize the plan and the protagonist’s true intentions: to impress his unwanted parents and to murder an athlete.

Character Analysis

The film explores complex themes such as love, trauma, and personal change. It does this by introducing the main character, Billy Brown, a man who, from a young age, experienced psychological abuse within his home — from his mother’s neglect to his father’s mood swings. The story shows us how a lonely childhood led Billy to become someone who can’t stand physical contact and has a sour, angry temperament. The protagonist is a clear representation of the impact that indifference and lack of love can have on children, which strongly contrasts with the character of Layla.

Although we know almost nothing about her background, the film clearly shows a contrast between her and Billy. Layla is empathetic, loving, and gentle. She is portrayed as a beautiful, sensitive, and mysterious woman whose hobby is tap dancing. Her character plays a crucial role in Billy’s development because she offers him something he’s never received from anyone before: love.

Review

When I watched the film for the first time, my initial impressions were full of surprise and admiration. Buffalo ‘66 is rich in cinematic symbolism and features iconic characters. I was more than satisfied with the visual aesthetics of the scenes as well as the way Billy’s past is revealed. It allowed us to sympathize with his flaws and understand his wounds. In my opinion, he is a very realistic protagonist who, even though he doesn’t start off well, still manages to find a good ending.

The beautiful musical and quiet scenes helped create a more artistic connection, occasionally allowing us to escape the tension. A very good film overall.

Conclusion

To conclude, I’m glad I watched it and highly recommend it. This story is a clear example that to be loved is to be changed.

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The “Alice in Wonderland” Archetype

I recently watched Spirited Away by Hayao Miyazaki for the thousandth time, and I had forgotten how much I love these kinds of stories. A human girl, by some twist of fate, ends up in a strange world — magical but also kind of dangerous. Stories like Coraline, Pan’s Labyrinth, and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz are based on, or at least similar to, what we call the “Alice in Wonderland” archetype.

What is the Alice in Wonderland archetype?

You’ve probably seen the movies, read the book, or at least heard of Alice’s story. A human girl falls down a rabbit hole and gets caught up in a strange, magical world full of nonsense and danger.

Because it’s such a classic, this story has inspired tons of other works — in books, movies, theater, video games, and more.

A lot of these stories are about a young person (usually a girl) who ends up on an adventure in a different world, far from our own.

Why does it work so well?

Even though it’s been used a lot in fiction, this kind of story still connects with people. It talks about big life themes — like growing up, losing or separating from your parents, and finding your identity.

Some key elements make it really interesting: the main character has to adapt to a new world, make tough decisions on their own, and figure out who they are. Meanwhile, the strange world with weird rules can reflect our own world — a world we don’t always stop to question.

Magical and heartbreaking stories like Pan’s Labyrinth follow this same pattern. We see a young girl who’s willing to give everything — body and soul — for what she believes is right, even in a world that doesn’t value kindness or imagination.

Stories like these make us think deeper and remind us to move through life with an open mind and strong values.

The meaning behind the other world

As I mentioned before, these stories are full of symbolism and metaphor. In the alternate world, everything — no matter how weird — has a purpose. Whether it’s the characters the main girl meets or the challenges she faces to get back home, it all means something. That’s why these stories are so fun to interpret, and why they can be seen in different ways depending on who’s watching or reading.

Conclusion

The Alice in Wonderland archetype still works today because it speaks to something real: growing up, feeling lost, and finding your way. These stories remind us that even the strangest worlds can teach us something about ourselves — and that sometimes, getting lost is the best way to truly find out who we are.

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Thirteen (2003)

the average experience of being a 13-year-old girl

Context: Thirteen is a feature film produced and written in 2003 by director Catherine Hardwicke, filmed in the United States.

The movie portrays the experience of a 13-year-old American girl going through the darkest stage of adolescence. The life of Tracy, a young middle school student, is completely transformed when she meets Evie, the most popular girl in school. The two quickly become best friends within a matter of weeks. Soon, however, the friendship turns toxic and ends up changing them both. Thirteen is a film that, despite its title, is not intended for audiences under the age of 13.

Character Psychology

In my opinion, the characters of the two main girls, Evie and Tracy, are the most complex. At the beginning of the film, Tracy is shown as a somewhat innocent and childish girl (understandable, since she’s only 13). Evie, on the other hand, is introduced as a popular teenager among boys — provocative, party-loving, and a bit rebellious. As the months pass, Tracy’s behavior shifts due to a kind of frustration or stress that builds up for valid reasons: her strained relationship with her parents and her mom’s boyfriend, her mother’s financial struggles, etc. With Evie by her side, Tracy begins to experiment with a variety of things for the first time — sexual encounters with boys, various drugs, stealing, and much more. Over the course of the movie, Tracy exhibits intense emotional turmoil, leading her to self-harm and increased drug use. Meanwhile, Evie also changes, taking on the role of a victim in the eyes of others. This role reversal paints Tracy as the “bad influence.”

Cinematography

A very interesting detail in the film is how it becomes visually darker over time, shifting from a nostalgic color palette to a dramatic one dominated by bluish and gray tones. Filmed in the early 2000s, the cinematography features a constantly moving camera that frequently focuses on the faces of the protagonists.

Ending

In the final minutes of the movie, Evie reports Tracy’s reckless behavior because Tracy refuses to agree to her mom adopting Evie, painting Tracy as the bad influence. In the end, Tracy’s mother discovers everything—the scars on her arms, the drugs, and the stolen money. After unraveling all the chaos, Evie’s guardian announces that they will be moving away, and that Tracy will never be able to see Evie again. Tracy is left devastated, ashamed, and furious. The movie ends with the young girl crying uncontrollably in her mother’s arms, leaving us all wondering if she will ever truly be okay…

Review

A great film, with incredible performances from the young actresses and a story that genuinely reflects the teenage years. Personally, I felt somewhat identified with Tracy—a young girl who doesn’t yet understand how dangerous certain friendships can be, or how easily she can be influenced. The film shows us the real experience of those friendships that leave lifelong marks and scars full of lessons. It shows us that at that age, we’re still naïve little girls, easily manipulated. It reveals how toxic friendships can destroy our adolescence and make us lose touch with who we are. I’ve been in Tracy’s shoes, and luckily, I always had my parents around—but that’s not the case for everyone. Bad friendships are a part of life; we must learn not to harm ourselves because of them, and to leave behind the drama to live a more centered and peaceful life.

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Barbie: The icon of success

"You can be anything"- by Barbie

Since her creation in the late 1950s, the popularity of the famous Barbie doll has never stopped growing. Her presence in popular culture was strengthened through her involvement in the film industry, and since then, she has become a role model for girls all over the world, impacting entire generations with her values and life lessons.

More than just a pretty face

"You can be anything" is her iconic phrase, used in several of her commercials. Barbie has been a symbol of female empowerment, encouraging girls from a young age to be true to themselves and follow their passions. Having held hundreds of careers, Barbie has taken on many roles—pilot, doctor, actress, model, princess, superhero, and fairy—reflecting the wide range of professions she has embraced and showing that she can be anything she wants to be, regardless of what others say. So, beyond being a beauty icon, she’s also a powerful example of self-improvement for everyone.

Brave, Smart, and Kind

These are the qualities Barbie displays and inspires others to follow in each of her movies. Despite the significant controversies the doll has faced regarding criticism over unrealistic beauty standards and female stereotypes, Barbie’s main goal has always been to inspire young audiences to chase their dreams no matter what, and to always do what’s right according to her values. In every one of her adventures, she showcases her virtues—especially courage, cleverness, and kindness.

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Only Yesterday & What You Can Learn From It

Only Yesterday (1991), directed by Isao Takahata and produced by Studio Ghibli, is a poetic and introspective animated film. It tells the story of Taeko, a 27-year-old woman who leaves Tokyo to spend a few days in the countryside. As she travels, memories from her childhood resurface, leading her to reflect on her life, her choices, and her identity.

Through a gentle and emotional narrative, the film invites us to explore the connection between past and present, to question social expectations, and to rediscover what truly gives meaning to our lives. What can we learn from this journey, both intimate and universal? What personal and social messages does Only Yesterday convey beyond the simplicity of its story?

Nostalgia and Personal Identity

The film shows how our past (especially our childhood) shapes who we become as adults. Taeko revisits her memories to better understand who she is today. The ones that left the deepest impression on her are those related to her family and school.

In Only Yesterday, nostalgia isn’t just a sentimental look back, it becomes a true tool for self-understanding. Throughout her trip to the countryside, Taeko is flooded with childhood memories, moments that seem ordinary on the surface, but carry deep emotional meaning. These recollections, sometimes joyful, sometimes painful, help her reconnect with buried parts of her identity. For example, her childhood dream of living in the countryside or her discomfort with puberty reveal her desires, her fears, and the pressures she experienced growing up. By revisiting these episodes, Taeko becomes aware of the gap between the person she once dreamed of becoming and who she is today. The film suggests that in order to move forward in adult life, we must listen to the voices of our past. Taeko realizes she hasn’t truly changed. Not for lack of desire, but because she never dared to take the risk of creating her own path.

The Conflict Between Personal Aspirations and Social Expectations

Taeko doesn’t necessarily follow the “expected” path for a woman her age, such as an ambitious career or marriage. The film questions social norms, especially those placed on women in 1980s Japan. Taeko’s vision of life clashes with the expectations of her family: to her sister, she’s too old to live carefree, while her mother subtly pressures her to settle down. These societal expectations, even when unspoken or gentle, heavily influence her choices.

As the story unfolds, we realize that Taeko isn’t truly happy with the life she has built in Tokyo, a life shaped more by external expectations than her own desires. She feels deeply disconnected from her urban routine, as though she followed a path laid out for her without ever really choosing it. Yet, despite her discomfort, she remains indecisive for a long time. The film portrays a heroine in the midst of doubt, torn between conforming to society’s model of success and listening to her inner voice calling her toward something else. Her ongoing hesitation highlights how hard it is to free oneself from others’ expectations and take control of one’s destiny. Her stay in the countryside acts as a turning point: surrounded by a simpler way of life and people who live in tune with their choices, she starts to envision a life more aligned with her true feelings. Only Yesterday offers a gentle yet powerful critique of societal norms and invites us to consider alternative paths, even if they feel uncertain.

The Importance of Introspection

Introspection plays a fundamental role in the film. The trip to the countryside is also a journey inward. It shows how important it is to take a step back from life in order to make choices that align more closely with who we are. By leaving behind the city’s routine, Taeko also escapes the noise of social expectations, which finally allows her to hear her own voice. As memories resurface, she becomes aware of the things she had pushed aside or ignored (whether consciously or not) in order to fit into the mold expected of her. This introspective process unfolds slowly, without any grand revelation. Taeko doesn’t instantly find all the answers, on the contrary, she hesitates, questions, reflects. And it’s in that uncertainty that the film reveals a universal truth: understanding who we are takes time, distance, and often, a shift in perspective. Far from her city life, observing rural living, talking with Toshio, or even working in the fields, she enters a kind of active meditation. Only Yesterday reminds us that it’s often in slowing down and reconnecting with ourselves that we find the clarity to move forward.

Rediscovering Oneself in Adulthood

One of the most touching aspects of Only Yesterday is how it shows that it’s never too late to rediscover oneself. At 27, Taeko is at an age where many feel the big decisions in life should already be made. Yet she finds herself in a kind of limbo, between an urban life that doesn’t feel like her own and an uncertain future. The film challenges the idea that one must have everything figured out by a certain age. Instead, it celebrates the right to doubt, to search, and even to change direction.

Her return to childhood memories acts like a compass. It’s not just a nostalgic act, but a process that helps her reconsider her deepest desires and redefine what she wants from life. These memories are no longer frozen in the past: they become alive, active, and allow her to imagine a different version of herself. It’s in this context that she uses the metaphor of the chrysalis, describing herself as someone waiting for transformation. This image is especially powerful, it conveys the fragility of her state, the need to retreat in order to understand herself, and the promise of renewal. Taeko isn’t yet the “butterfly” she could become, but she begins to sense that such a metamorphosis is possible, if she dares to break out of her shell. Only Yesterday shows us that rediscovering oneself can happen at any stage in life, and that, like a chrysalis, we all need space, silence, and reflection in order to finally spread our wings.

My Conclusion…

In my view, Only Yesterday is a film every young adult in search of meaning should watch at least once. More than just a nostalgic tale, it’s a subtle and deeply human work that gently explores the ties between past and present, between self and others, between who we are and who we wish to become. The metaphor of the chrysalis beautifully illustrates this process: anyone, at any age, can find themselves in that fragile in-between, hesitating to break free and follow a more authentic path. In the end, Only Yesterday reminds us that it’s never too late to reinvent ourselves, as long as we have the courage to remember, to listen to our inner voice, and to choose a life that truly feels like our own.

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Unpopular Opinion: Aging is Actually Beautiful

Because it means you’ve lived.

We often forget how fragile life really is. How rare, even. Every extra year we get to live is a gift—but somehow, we’ve been taught to see aging as something shameful. Society has conditioned us to believe that once we start showing signs of time—wrinkles, grey hair, slower movements—we’ve somehow failed at staying relevant.

Some people even say they’d rather die young than grow old. Not because of illness or fear of pain, but because they’re afraid of being seen as less attractive, less useful, less important.

Because we’ve been told, over and over:

“When you’re old, you’re too tired to do anything. People forget you. You become undesirable.”

This idea—that we’re only valuable when we’re young—shrinks us down to our productivity, our beauty, our social currency. It makes us believe that we are replaceable, and that our worth has an expiration date.

But as Victor Hugo once wrote, “Each man in his darkness goes toward his light.”

Aging isn’t fading—it’s evolving. It’s becoming fuller, deeper, wiser. It’s the quiet strength of someone who has kept going. And that’s beautiful.

Life moves in a natural cycle: we’re born, we grow, we age, and we die. This rhythm has existed long before us and will continue long after. The simple fact of living through every phase without skipping any is a rare privilege. And instead of fearing it, we should honor it.

There are countless people who never got the chance to grow old. So why wouldn’t we celebrate those who did? Why wouldn’t we look at their faces, their stories, their presence, and say: thank you for staying. Thank you for living.

Writer Joan Didion once said, “Character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.” And in time, that character starts to show on our faces. It lives in our lines, in our posture, in our voice. Aging makes us visible in a new way—one that’s softer, but stronger. Aging is not a curse. It’s a quiet, sacred victory.

And all that to say that I can't wait to get old.

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Childhood as a mythical territory – A place that no longer exists but still defines us

Recently, I celebrated my 18th birthday. I’ve never understood why so many people are eager to reach this age. For me, more than a passage into adulthood, it has mostly marked the beginning of a long period of introspection, where I reflect on how life has shaped me up to now.

The distorted memory of childhood

I remember my childhood like a blurry dream, where everything was colorful and growing up still felt unreal. I didn’t grow up in abundance, nor surrounded by a hundred friends, but my memories are made of simple moments when the world still felt new. And I think that’s what makes me nostalgic.

The nostalgia we feel for childhood doesn’t necessarily come from the memories themselves, but from the way we perceive them today. We idealize a time we imagine as more joyful and memorable, when in reality, it’s not the world that changed… it’s us.

Childhood as the foundation of identity

Something we don’t always realize is that our desires, fears, wounds, and dreams as adults often have their roots in that time. Even though that place no longer exists, it continues to shape us — like an invisible foundation.

The films we watched, the games we loved, the moments we experienced — good or bad — shape our character and influence our choices. The child we once were never truly disappears: they sleep within us, sometimes guiding us, sometimes crying out in silence.