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@localcursedfriend
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earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
I... I imagined Lex Luthor as the version of Batman: the animated series and I was like "how tf this man a omega?" But when you said what version was I was like "ooh know this is more like it..."
thank you for the opportunity to spam even more pretty Lex Luthor gifs on my blog!
I'm gonna be bold enough to say it, even bald billionaire Lex Luthor is an omega. The same way that lego batman joker is an omega in heat, bald lex luthor is chasing after superman hardcore
I personally believe that Shane loves fishing with David but Ilya can’t imagine anything worse than sitting in a boat and waiting for hours, so he stays home with Yuna and they watch Steel Magnolias with face masks on and an entire bottle of wine each
It's their second summer at the cottage. They'd been there 5 days so far when Shane tentatively approaches Ilya in the kitchen.
"Hey, so, uhh...," he hesitates. Ilya raises an eyebrow. Shane hadn't seemed this nervous around him since last summer.
"Everything okay?"
"Yea. Yea, everything's great. I just, well, I know you're only here for a couple of weeks but I wondered if you'd be ok with spending some time with my parents," Shane looked away how he always did when he was nervous.
Ilya's heart melted a bit.
"I mean. You can say no. I know we don't have a lot of time just the two of us. It's just that my dad and I have a tradition. We go fishing every summer and we didn't go last year so I thought maybe-"
"Of course we can Hollander."
"Really? I mean, we don't have to if you'd rather us stay here. I know we don't get to spend a lot of time together and if you'd rather just do something else we can. I won't be upset or anyth-"
"Hollander, is fine. We will go," Ilya says. Shane grins at him and they start planning their day out fishing with David. Shane packs snacks and gear while Ilya sends him different iterations of the "women want me, fish fear me" tiktok. Shane ignores all of them.
The next day they pull up to David and Yuna's cottage midmorning. David is already outside packing a tackle box with various lures.
"Hey, boys," he greets them. They spend a few moments talking about the weather and Shane tells his dad about the new rod he had bought. Yuna pops her head out the front door, she's wearing very fancy looking silk pajamas.
"David, where did you put my foot spa," she calls. Ilya looks at Shane, confused. Shane just shrugs. David sighs.
"Come help me," he says quietly to Shane, "I think it's in the hall closet behind the Christmas stuff."
The three of them make their way into the house. Shane and David head for the hallway, leaving Yuna and Ilya standing in the living room. There was a bit of an awkward silence, they hadn't spoken all that much since last summer when they had met. So instead of saying anything, Ilya looks around and sees various chocolates, a bottle of wine, charcuterie board, a face mask kit, and a pedicure set.
Yuna sees him looking at everything and says, "fishing has always been Shane and David's thing. And you couldn't pay me enough to sit on the lake all day so I've always just had myself a little spa day when they go."
Ilya nodded and was instantly jealous. In truth, he did not want to go fishing. He had only agreed for Shane's sake. He didn't want to take him away from his family. He glanced down the hall and then back at the table.
Shane and David reemerged from the hallway then, carrying the foot spa.
"Is that all you need from us," David asked.
"I think so, thank you," Yuna replied.
"Ready to head out," David asked, turning to Shane.
"Yep," he replied, "ready Ilya?"
Ilya dutifully followed them towards the door, but glanced back one more time towards Yuna who was following them to the door.
"Boys," she said as they reached the door, "I think you two need to have some time by yourselves. Just the two of you. How about you leave Ilya here."
Shane looked a little surprised. Ilya tried his very best not to look relieved. He wanted to hug Yuna at that moment for saving him from a day of touching worms.
"Mom, I can't just leave Ilya here," Shane protested.
"What you don't trust me? Think I'll scare him away?"
"Well, no, but what's he going to do all day? If he goes back home he'll just be by himself. I can't make him do that."
"Shane, he doesn't have to go home. He can stay here."
Shane's face scrunched up in that confused look Ilya loved so much, "here?"
Yuna laughed, "yes. Here. He can have a spa day with me."
"I don't think he'd want to do your whole spa day thing, Mom."
"Oh, just because you can't relax enough to enjoy it doesn't mean he can't. Just go. He'll be fine here."
Ilya thought it was amusing how they were talking about him as if he wasn't standing right next to them. Like they were fighting over who got to hang out with him.
"I can stay," Ilya said, speaking for the first time since they arrived. "Is fine. This is for you and your dad. I can stay here, I don't mind."
Shane looked conflicted for a moment but nodded. He fished his car keys out of his pocket and handed them to Ilya, "just in case you wanted to go back home." Yuna rolled her eyes.
Once David and Shane had left, Yuna led Ilya to the couch. Where they chose their respective spots and Yuna explained that she usually watched old movies but if Ilya wanted to watch something else they could. He didn't, so they started with Sixteen Candles. They snacked on the chocolates and charcuterie while Yuna applied Ilya's face mask. She set up her foot spa and they relaxed for a while in silence other than the movie.
They started chatting a little, mostly about hockey and Shane. Ilya asked Yuna what Shane was like as a child and she told him stories of a Shane that used to run off every time they went anywhere.
"I bought a leash! I was too afraid to use it. I thought people would think we were horrible, but he just kept bolting every chance he got," she said while laughing.
Around noon, Yuna opened the wine and put on Dirty Dancing. They kept chatting about nothing in particular and more hockey. Ilya was enjoying talking to her about hockey. He was surprised by her knowledge and understanding, it rivaled Svetlana's.
When Dirty Dancing ended, she put on Steel Magnolias and grabbed another bottle of wine. By the end of it she and Ilya were more than a little Tipsy and both were sniffling messes.
And this was the Yuna and Ilya that Shane and David came back to. The movie had ended, the credits were rolling, and the two of them were sniveling and talking about how unfair it all was.
"Steel Magnolias," David said to Shane solemnly. Shane nodded.
It took some convincing to get Ilya into the car, but eventually he was situated in the passenger's seat. Shane waved goodbye to his parents on their porch and climbed in.
"Did you have fun today," he asked Ilya.
Ilya nodded enthusiastically, "so much fun. We have to do that again next year." Shane just laughed and drove them both home.
Shout out to my mom who explains my transition as "Having a daughterpillar turn into a Boyterfly". It doesn't erase the fact I was an adorable little girl, and also affirms my gender now. I love my mother.
Me whenever I talk about comic books
Young Justice '98 is wild. Boob joke! The ending of classic children's movie Air Bud (1997) but with a car instead of a dog! An out-of-options suburban father shoots his 17 year old son because he's terrified of any harm coming to his wife! Sick pop culture reference! A local PTA hires the team to throw a safe, substance-free party! Superboy is unable to age and it terrifies him utterly when he thinks about all his friends aging and then dying and leaving him all alone! 70's disco hell!
If you take nothing else from this remember that Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie are proof that in a year your entire life could be different
carl or whatever his name is
saw maki's adorable clark bookmark and had to make a superbat one for @unbreakabledawn <3
Bernard’s face 😭😭😭
Just imagining Ilya admitting to Shane during their first year as a couple post-cottage, that it's always been his dream to have an arcade in his house one day, because it was so rare that he was ever allowed to go to one growing up. And Shane immediately starts secretly reaching out to his contractors, asking how possible it would be to build an extension on his games room. For the rest of the year, Shane spends every free moment checking the building progress, sourcing machines, finding people to restore the ones that are a little beat up, pushing to get everything done before the season ends.
He gets to the cottage a day before Ilya's due to arrive to get all the groceries and snacks they'd need for their two weeks, but also to check the new arcade and it's absolutely perfect. He's so excited going to fetch Ilya he can barely contain himself. He thinks that he'll like it, but there's a small part of his mind that's like is it too much though?
"Excited to be going back?" Ilya asks, taking the hand Shane's been nervously drumming against the wheel. And Shane can't even really speak. He just nods, and brings Ilya's hand up to his lips to kiss it.
When they get to the cottage, Ilya immediately starts dragging him off in the direction of the bedroom, and Shane digs his heels in. Ilya turns around looking concerned.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," says Shane, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I just have something to show you and I'm not going to be able to think about anything else until I do. Come with me."
Ilya only looks marginally less worried as Shane leads him to the games room.
"See anything new?" he asks, and Ilya dutifully looks around for anything that looks different from last time.
"You have bookshelves now," says Ilya. "I did not know we would be doing so much reading this time."
And Shane laughs and tells him to take a closer look. When Ilya approaches the bookshelf and notices the little wooden loon, Shane knows his plan will work. As soon as Ilya tries to pick it up, presumably to chirp him about it, it tips and the bookshelf springs forward on one side. Ilya turns back to Shane looking like a kid at Christmas.
"You have a secret room now? A sex dungeon? My Shane, are you planning to do wicked things to me in here for the next two weeks?"
"Just go look, asshole," Shane laughs, following Ilya into the room, heart catching when Ilya sees it for the first time.
"An arcade?" he asks, awestruck. "You have an arcade?"
"You have an arcade. Or, I mean, we have an arcade." Ilya turns to look at him. "I know you've always wanted one and I want the cottage to be yours as much as it's mine so I, uh—"
And that's all he can say for the next few minutes because suddenly he finds himself crowded against a claw game being kissed to within an inch of his life.
"You're so fucking crazy, Hollander," says Ilya when they eventually part, pressing his forehead to Shane's. "A fucking secret arcade. Thank you, lyubimyy. I don't even know how to say it. Just thank you. I love you and your big crazy heart so fucking much."
And Shane laughs and presses a small kiss to his lips.
"Happy anniversary, baby. I love you too."
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
I think at some point Ilya’s therapist gets concerned by what seems to be a codependent and anxious attachment btw Ilya and Shane. When Shane the Doer hears about it, For the sake of his husband’s mental health’s improvement and the preservation of a healthy marriage, he convinces Ilya to try installing boundaries and do activities separately. It lasts a week before Ilya comes home sobbing from a video game session with Troy communicating that if they keep this boundary thing up he’ll need to switch his meds’ dosage because he’s miserable. Shane jumps from the couch he’s been sitting on for 40minutes because he was supposed to eat diner with rose but he kept wanting to make jokes and look at ilya to see him laugh but he wasn’t there and it SUCKED OMG and Shane starts sobbing too because if they keep this up he will have to get on his own meds and let’s never do this again I hate it when I can’t smell you near me
Watched mission impossible 2018 the other day and got inspired