LoceitWeek 2026 Starts September 20 @loceit-week - Tumblr Blog

Jul 3

Touch and Go

We're a bit past the event deadline - sorry about that - but here is the fic @moritzsexdream for @typically-untypical and @tss-camp-and-coffee Camp Cartoon 2026 event! I hope you enjoy! 💛💙

Summary: Janus hated this power from the moment it manifested. Now it might just ruin his friendship with Logan.

Content Warnings: Self-deprecation, Remus twisting his body in unnatural ways

Read here on Ao3!

~~*~~

If Janus had been paying attention, he might have been amazed at how comfortable he could feel in somebody else's presence. Sure, Remus and him were close and from time to time just hung out with each other, but with Remus you always had to be at least a little bit on edge. He took pride in his unpredictability after all, there was always a chance he had some kind of trick up his sleeve or would just throw some sort of sharp or disgusting object at Janus without warning.

With Logan, things were very different. Logan was someone who prided himself on his punctuality, routines and schedules. He would be at their agreed meeting spot on time, would take up as much of Janus's time as he said he would and was available at around the same times.

When they met to read books together in the late evenings, for example, Logan would arrive at the cozy study — that Roman had created for Logan in the mindscape several years ago — at 8pm, bringing his book and a tea, one of three options that he considered best for quiet evenings. He would stay for about two hours and then wish Janus a good night and leave to start his bedtime routine.

It was orderly and predictable and Janus enjoyed it a lot.

He could finally just relax and let his guard down a bit.

Big mistake, as it turns out.

Logan and him had been reading on their own on a couch, slightly leaning against each other, both so absorbed in their literature that they hadn't even noticed that they had gotten so close to each other.

And Janus hadn't noticed that his usually-carefully-tucked-into-his-gloves sleeve rode up, exposing his skin.

Logan only wore a t-shirt since it was a rather warm evening.

And while one of them shifted to get into a slightly more comfortable position - not even a conscious choice — their skins brushed against each other.

Immediately, Janus' mind was flooded by a well of emotions.

Indeed, the reason he kept a distance from the others and covered himself as thoroughly as he did, was because he was an Empath. A power he detested from day one.

He manifested it in Thomas' childhood. He'd been stricken with a fever — probably a side effect of the power settling — and resting in bed. Virgil had sat next to him, in tears because he was sure Janus was going to die. Janus had moved to pat his hand to reassure he was going to be just fine, but as soon as he touched Virgil's skin, a flood of fear and terror crashed into his brain like a tidal wave and he was just quick enough to turn around and puke into the prepared bucket.

That had of course lead to more fretting from Virgil and not long after, Janus started covering up more. Thank goodness none of them had been very physical with each other in the first place, so when Janus pulled away from touch even more, neither Virgil nor Remus questioned it.

And Janus had managed to not have skin to skin contact with anyone for years just fine, but now one moment of carelessness was his downfall.

Okay, maybe he was getting a bit too dramatic. It wasn't as bad as it used to be his first few times but it was still not fun. And for a person who claims to have no feelings as a being of logic, Janus was sure feeling overwhelmed by Logan's emotions quickly.

The touch was short, thankfully, as Janus pulled his arm away, startled. But it was enough to get an outline of Logan's feelings in that moment.

He was mostly calm, happy and content. Which made sense, they were in a space he felt comfortable in and not pressured by work or anything.

Underneath that however, was a storm of nerves, excitement and agitation. They didn't clash with the calmness, seemed to fuel it even.

Janus had felt that from another person once. Virgil, the first time Janus had seen the purple glitter underneath his eyes. Back when Thomas had his first crush on a guy without feeling absolutely ashamed of it. Thomas and him had just hung out, chatting about musical theater and while Virgil had been super anxious about being in their crush's vicinity, the mundanity of the situation had kept him calm and only strengthened his feelings for the guy.

…So, if that was the same for Logan right now, then he had a crush?

On Janus?!

No, that couldn't be. Why would Logan…? And on him of all people? He must've misinterpreted the signals, right? There had been no other signs, right?

"Janus? Are you alright?" Logan asked, his tone worried. Janus startled out of his thoughts, only then realizing he had frozen while clutching his hand around the spot on his wrist that had touched Logan.

"Yes, I'm fine," he pressed out. Logan didn't look like he believed him. "I just… am more tired than I realized. I think I'll turn in early." He quickly got up, slipping a book mark into his book and closing it on autopilot.

"Are you certain? If there is a problem, I am more than willing-"

"I am certain. Please do not worry, Logan. I have been feeling slightly off since this morning, I am sure I'll feel better after some rest." Janus was glad he was such a practiced liar. He regained his composure quick enough and now Logan looked more willing to let him leave.

"Alright then. But please do not hesitate to approach me if I can do anything for you."

Everyone said Patton had the puppy eyes no one could resist, but for Janus, it was definitely the current expression on Logan's face that made him feel the weakest.

"Of course, Logan," he reassured him softly, even if he knew there was no way he would ever bring this incident up with Logan. "I hope you have a good night."

"You as well, Janus. Until tomorrow."

"Until tomorrow," Janus echoed before sinking out.

He was so, so screwed.

~~*~~

As Janus got back to his room, all he could think about was how careful he had been up to that point.

Ever since finding out about his ability, he vowed he'd never use it. Not on purpose, at least. He hated everything about it. Firstly, it was unbelievably overwhelming. How could it not be, given who he was always surrounded by? Feeling all of Virgil's anxiety, all those years ago, scarred him beyond reparations. Remus and Roman were always so constantly exciting and beaming with new ideas (although never on the same page about anything). Patton was constantly feeling… always. He really deserved the title of being the Heart of the group, and he was constantly thinking of how others might be feeling (Janus considered ironic, as he was the empath after all). The entire group was full of big balls of emotions, it was too much for Janus to handle at all times. Not Logan, though.

And that's not to mention how invasive it all felt. As the side that represented self preservation, he understood the importance of keeping the walls up, of keeping things to yourself. Simply being able to feel someone else's emotions, no hiding, all true, was just a major violation of privacy. It was all very antithetical to his beliefs.

It wasn't easy keeping this ability a secret. He had quickly understood that physical touch triggered it, which is why he wore so many layers. The other sides were terribly touchy, in general, so that was a requirement. There was, however, one other side that knew.

~~*~~

In the old days, when it was just him, Remus and Virgil, he decided the layers of clothing weren’t enough. They were never big on physical contact anyway, but sometimes they got too close. They felt comfortable. Then he realized, he had to put up some metaphorical layers as well. And then his classic Janus attitude started to form. Walls up, always, and the snarky comments would push people away. It certainly worked with Virgil, more and more he could feel the distance growing between them. Remus on the other hand, just always had the itch for pushing people's buttons. As he noticed how much Janus was trying to distance himself from the others, the more he wanted to pry.

And pry he did. He was never one for detective work, whatever the reason Janus had for that behavior did not concern him, but he was very fond of being the biggest nuisance possible. So as he noticed Janus trying to stay away, he decided that would not do. He started doing what he does best to show his care: he started pulling pranks.

Most of the pranks were just regular Remus shenanigans — scares, putting gross things in the others' way, making loud annoying noises — and were working as he intended, they were making Janus realize there was no way he was getting rid of him. It just didn't really sit well with Virgil, who started to feel not only the distance from Janus, but also the group as a whole.

The day Remus decided to steal Janus's gloves as a prank, that wasn't as harmless.

Janus freaked out as he noticed his gloves weren't on top of his bedside drawer, where they always were. All layers were important to him, but he considered the gloves to be the most important one. He could avoid touch all he wanted but he couldn't deny that he still needed to grab things, move objects and with his hands exposed the chance of a mishap were too high. And that's why he always placed them in the same place every night, and that's why when he woke up and didn't see them there he knew they must've been taken. And he knew damn well Virgil wasn't the one going through his stuff.

"Remus, your games are very fun and all, but I really need my gloves back" he said as he confronted Remus in his room. Yes, he needed those back so badly he decided to show up in that horrid place.

"Well, sweetheart, why don't you come and get them?" Remus replied in a playful tone, dangling the gloves that were in his hand.

Janus knew what Remus wanted. He wanted him to go after them, then Remus would pull them away, and then they'd pretend fight for a while until Janus got the gloves back. But he couldn't do that. He'd never manage that without coming into contact with Remus's skin.

He really did not want to touch Remus directly. He barely had any filter when talking to others, who knew what was going on inside him? But on the other hand, what other option did he have? Telling Remus also didn't sound any fun. He didn't want anyone else to know. His ability felt like a violation, but he also couldn't help but feel invaded when he thought of others knowing. It was a secret he had been keeping for so long. What would someone else do with that information? What would someone like Remus do?

He pondered. Time was passing and the energy of Remus's room was starting to get him a little freaked out. He felt cornered. There was no way out of it, he didn't want to share that information, he liked keeping all his cards as close to his chest as possible, but Remus knew how to be stubborn, how to push people's buttons. He would not give him his gloves back without a fight, and they'd end up touching. He remembered the time he felt Virgil's emotions, it was terrifying. So intense and so volatile, and he knew feeling Remus's wouldn't be a chill experience for sure. And in the end, who was to say Remus wouldn't end up finding out anyway? He was able to redirect the attention back then, but he couldn't guarantee it this time. Remus was insane, but he wasn't stupid. And if his feelings were to affect Janus as strongly as Virgil's did, he might have been able to piece two and two together.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't, he thought. He really wanted those gloves back, and he really wanted to leave Remus's room. He could either tell Remus right away, which he didn't love, or risk touching him, feeling the horrors that could come from him and still be at risk of Remus finding out anyway. He might not want to share his secret, but he wanted to have that agency taken from him even less. He made a decision, begrudgingly.

"Remus, I can't touch you. I'm an empath, and if I touch you I'll feel all that you're feeling. That's why I've been distancing myself lately and that's why I really need those gloves back" he pleaded.

Remus seemed unimpressed. "Oh yeah? Nice one Janus. Come and get these babies or come up with some other excuse"

“Remus, please” Janus almost begged. He tried to take all of the sarcasm and snark from his voice (not an easy feat, he spent years working on those) to try and make Remus understand he was telling the truth, for once. “You know how I avoid physical contact. I tuck my shirt sleeves into my gloves so not an inch of skin on my arm will show up and be exposed. I came all this way to get my gloves back, does it look like I enjoy being here? I hate your room. Please.”

That seemed to do it for Remus. He could see it in Janus’s eyes, and he could hear it in his voice. He was crazy and loved to be a nuisance, but in his own way he loved his friend too. Janus never put his foot down to any of his other pranks (many of those being much more annoying, might he add) so this must mean he was telling the truth. He gave him his gloves back, but not without first making Janus promise he'd tell him absolutely everything about this power.

And so, Remus knew. He was the only one. And, considering how unconcerned Remus was with following standard social norms and how much he loved bothering everyone, he kept that secret pretty well. That resulted in a level of trust they felt with each other that deepened their friendship a lot. They didn’t change how they acted, Janus was still a shady bitch and Remus was still an overall problem, but anyone could tell they were much closer now.

That included Virgil. He already could tell the distance between them was growing, but suddenly he felt a key shift. He didn’t know what it was, but it was so painfully clear. There was something going on and he wasn’t included. Suddenly, he didn’t feel part of the group anymore. Suddenly, it was them and then him. He was officially an outcast. Janus and Remus could deny all they wanted but he knew he was right. And that became unbearable to him. To see two other people he cared for so much to exclude him like that hurt like nothing else. And that’s when he started thinking that whatever the others had going on upstairs couldn’t be as bad. And so he started hanging out with the others.

~~*~~

Janus hung around the others now too. The rift between the so called “light sides” and “dark sides” seemed to be basically gone. That’s how he knew Logan was not as touchy. That’s what had drawn Janus to him. And the quiet evenings in Logan’s study. Until, of course, he slipped up. And now it’s kind of ruined.

That’s why he hated that ability so much. He felt like it wasn’t right that he felt like he knew Logan’s secret. He’d still find a way to rationally explain that whatever Logan was feeling was not actually a crush on Janus, he was sure of that, but either way it was a violation of his privacy. He surely wouldn’t want anyone else to know that he maybe also felt the same whirlwind for Logan. That the combination of extreme ease and trust but also excitement and agitation he felt from Logan actually matched what he felt for him pretty well. No, that was another secret he was going to keep.

But he knew about Logan. And he knew about himself. Janus prided himself on being a master of saving face, self preservation and disguise, but all those emotions (and as more time passed more he shared Logan’s disdain for them) were unsettling him. He wasn’t sure how he’d act around Logan now. He’d never want to force anything but he knew too much now.

So it was decided. He needed to avoid Logan as much as possible. He wasn’t happy about it, but it was the only way this all could work out.

~~*~~

Logan had not expected that he would be needing to make a trip to Remus' room for such a reason. They worked together on occasion now that Thomas was more willing to acknowledge his input — accepting it was another matter — but a personal visit? The option had never even crossed his mind.

But he was running out of ideas on what else to do. Janus had started avoiding him days ago and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. Any attempt to get Janus to talk to him ended in failure and it started to truly hurt his feelings.

If he'd been given a reason at least, he could accept it. But Janus wasn't willing to give him even that.

So his best option was talking to Remus. He was Janus' best friend, he should know something.

Logan wasn't expecting a straight answer from him, of course. He knew Remus better than that. But at least a hint about what was going on was enough for him. Because if there was one thing Logan hated more than anything, then it was remaining ignorant. He knew there was a problem and he was not going to be kept in the dark about it.

So, he knocked on Remus' door with two sharp raps.

"Who's that knocking on my chamber door?" a voice whispered directly into Logan's ear. He flinched, stumbling away from the sudden noise and turned, pressing himself against the door.

"Remus!" he hissed as he took in the creative side that was now grinning at him. "That was very unpleasant."

"Unpleasant is kinda my brand, dork! What'cha doing at my room?"

"I was hoping to speak to you about a personal issue," Logan explained as he smoothed out his shirt.

"Oh? What kind of personal issue would you need to discuss with me of all people? Wanna get in someone's pants?" Remus wriggled his eyebrows at Logan, who looked at him unimpressed.

"No, it is about Janus. He's been avoiding me and I was wondering if you had any insights as to the reason why he would do that."

"Uhhhh, trouble in paradise! The bananaconda is spiting you?"

"Yes, Remus. For the past few days he's been avoiding me and I do not know why. Everything was fine before then."

Remus closed the space between them, trapping Logan against the wood of his door.

"You sure about that?" he asked, leaning uncomfortably close. His breath smelled rancid, so Logan turned his head away.

"I am not. I cannot think of anything I did, but that does not mean that I believe the fault could not lay with me. But I would prefer not to discuss this in the hallway. May we move inside your room, please?"

"If you wanna get in my sheets, you just need to say so, Logie~"

"That is not my intention, Remus, and I would appreciate if you could take this at least with a touch of sincerity. Janus means a lot to me and I would prefer him not being mad at me," Logan hissed, pushing Remus away from him with a firm hand.

"Alright, alright! Jeez, a buzzkill as always," Remus huffed before reaching past Logan to grab the doorknob. "Then enter my humble abode if you dare! I can't guarantee the safety of your toes, though!"

"No need to worry. My shoes have steel tips for safety."

Remus cackled at Logan's casual remark before making his way inside and immediately going to lounging on his bed. Logan followed him but opted to sit on a mostly clean chair set before a half-filled canvas, though he couldn't make out what the motive was.

"Sooo, Jannie's been avoiding you and you don't know why. What happened the last time you saw him before he decided he loathed your company?"

Logan sat up straighter, adjusting his tie as he thought back.

"We were doing our usual routine of reading in the study. We were both reading our chosen literature comfortably when Janus suddenly flinched, sat up and then declared he was tired and wanted to head to bed early. I found his behavior unusual but did not want to intrude, so I did not pry further. The next morning he left the kitchen as soon as I came in to get a cup of coffee."

"So you knew something was up before," Remus hummed. He was lying down on his bed now, picking his nose and examining what he found. Logan decided not to watch.

"Yes. But I cannot think of what might have changed in that short moment. We have sat that close before, he has not reacted that way any other occasion."

"Oh? You sat close? How close?"

Logan chanced another look at Remus when he heard his excited tone and now found him on all fours at the edge of the bed, leaning as close to him as he could without falling off. His sharp teeth were stretched into a wide grin.

"We were leaning against each other, shoulder to shoulder. Our arms were brushing occasionally," Logan admitted. He felt heat gathering in his cheeks as Remus' grin turned unnaturally large.

"Oh ho!" he cackled. "You two are getting really cozy, huh? You're gonna make me jealous!"

"Why would you be jealous of us?" Logan asked, confused.

"I would love to be as close to either of you as I can get, really~"

"Remus, could we focus on the issue at hand, please?"

"Ugh, fine! You're no fun!" Remus groaned and let himself fall forward, tumbling off the bed and rolling until he laid outstretched on the floor right before Logan. "So you were getting cuddly. How close?"

"As I said, we were leaning against each other. Shoulder to shoulder. Our arms brushed frequently as we flipped pages."

"Arms? Which part of your arms?"

Logan flinched at Remus' sudden change in tone. The duke sounded more serious than he had heard him in a very long time and he was now staring at him with a focus Logan had only see him exhibit when he was working on one of his passion projects.

"I do not know, mostly upper arms? But occasionally lower arms as well. I believe our wrists touched at one point?"

"And what were you wearing?"

"Remus, I hardly believe—"

"What were you wearing, four-eyes?" Remus growled. Suddenly he was on his knees in front of Logan, his hands planted firmly on Logan's thighs as he leaned close.

"A blue t-shirt and black pants, I think?"

"And Jannie?"

"His usual outfit. Long black shirt, caplet, hat, black trousers—"

"His gloves?"

"Yes. Of course. I've never seen him without them."

"He was covered? Completely?"

"I believe so? Maybe his shirt rode up at some point—"

"Maybe? Did it or did it not?"

"I do not know! I was focused on my book! As was Janus! We might have brushed against each other for a moment before he excused himself but he held his arm away from me so quickly, I cannot be sure if there was skin exposed!"

Remus leaned closer, putting his weight on Logan's thighs as he studied his eyes for as close as he could. The silence sat heavy between them, a tension in the air that Logan didn't dare break. It felt like they remained like that for minutes but it could only have been a few moments when Remus pulled back again.

"I gotta talk to Jannie. You get outta here." He stood and turned to head out of the door but Logan jumped up from his seat and grabbed his arm.

"Wait! Why is it so important if Janus' skin was exposed?"

"Look, Logie," Remus said slowly, though he didn't turn around to look at him. "I like you and I think Jannie's being a bit stupid, so I'm gonna give you a hint. There's a reason Jannie keeps himself as covered up and it's not because he's a prude. Have you ever seen him touch anyone? Seen him in close proximity of anyone for longer than a few seconds? He's been making exceptions for you but everyone else? He doesn't wanna risk it."

"Risk what?"

Remus threw his head back and laughed. His neck elongated until his head was hanging upside down in front of Logan, sharp grin back on his face.

"I know I can be cruel, but even I wouldn't just spill my best friend's secrets! Just think about it, dork. Why would he stay away from everyone? And I know it's not your strong suit but try being a bit creative? It's not gonna be the obvious answer, I can tell you that."

"I see," Logan nodded and he let go of Remus' hand. "I will think it over. Thank you for talking with me, Remus. I appreciate it."

"No problem, pocket watch! See ya later!"

And with that, Remus sunk out, leaving Logan alone to ponder the questions he left him with. The hint didn't help him much, but at least it was more than he had before. So, Logan sank out as well, heading to his room to do some research.

~~*~~

By that time a few weeks earlier, Janus would have been heading out to meet Logan in the study and have a shared reading session. That wasn't possible anymore, he was avoiding Logan so these moments together were a thing of the past. He was instead reading in his room, enjoying the quiet and trying not to think about how he missed Logan when he heard a horrible guttural scream coming from right outside his door.

"You may come in, Remus" he responded to the yell, knowing that his friend wasn't keen on a simple knock on the door.

Remus opened the door with a huge creepy smile on his face and his eyes were almost looking a little crazy. Nothing out of the ordinary. He moved towards Janus until they were uncomfortably close, but without touching.

"Jannie… I have some tea" he grinned as he spoke and Janus perked up immediately. Nothing like a bit of gossip to brighten up his mood.

"Ooh, please, do tell" Janus answered excitedly, putting his book away. Not like he was paying much attention to it anyway.

"You're not gonna believe this! So, a little birdie told me that a certain someone with empathic powers accidentally touched the huge nerd we have to live with and now he's avoiding him! Isn't that exciting?"

Janus's smile dropped immediately.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Aw, come on Janie Bananie! I thought we were besties. Aren't you gonna share what happened with your dear old Remus? Are you gonna leave me in the dark, alone, unenlightened, like one of Cinderella's stepsisters going blind after having her eyes torn out by a dove?" Remus pleaded, trying his best to pout and look cute, but actually looking horrifying.

"Gross. Fine, I'll tell you what happened, but please stop doing that with your face" Janus gave in and Remus sat up in the bed excitedly "so, a few days ago Logan and I were in the study together reading. We were sitting close to each other and my sleeve may or may not have ridden up a little bit without my knowledge and we might have brushed our skin against each other. That's it, there was definitely not anymore to it." He lied, but Remus didn't buy it.

"Oh of course there was nothing more to it. So Logan appeared in my room of all places to ask me why you are avoiding him because everything was absolutely normal"

Janus hesitated. Logan went to Remus's room to ask about his avoidance? Knowing full well the horrors that place evoked? That wasn't good. That meant he missed him. It was becoming harder and harder to find a way to justify Logan's feelings as not a crush. Damn it, why did he need to be so caring and thoughtful and intelligent? Janus was at the brink of freaking out when Remus pulled him from his thoughts.

"Please Janie, if you're gonna spiral at least let me join in on the fun! What was Logan feeling when you touched him? Did you feel he had a thing for you?"

"What? No! Remus, that's ridiculous" Janus tried to argue.

"I knew it!" Remus suddenly stood up, thrilled with the discoveries he was making. "Oooh Logan has a crush on Janie and Janie is denying it because he also has a crush on that nerd!" he started twirling with excitement.

"Remus! Please! You're wrong, I'm avoiding him because I feel bad for violating his privacy. We have talked about this, that's why I avoid everyone's touch"

"Jan. Please. If that was the case you would just have pretended nothing happened and moved on. But you're avoiding him, which means I'm right. Come on, I might be crazy but I'm not dumb. I can put two and two together" he said, as he sat down in the bed again after getting dizzy from spinning so much.

Janus hid his face in his hands and let out a heavy sigh.

"Fine! You're right! I have a crush on Logan and I know he feels it too and I don't want to be close to him with this knowledge because it makes me feel bad that I know it and I might lose the ability to act normal around him and I don't want to ruin our friendship! There! Are you happy now?" He blurted out in one breath.

Remus looked elated to have extracted this confirmation out of him.

"Ooh you want each other so bad! See, I knew for a while you had a thing for Logan, but this twist of events is exciting! C'mon Jan, what's the problem? Just go talk to him, work it out then make out! Oh my God, Jan, think of how crazy your power is going to make you feel when you finally fu…"

"Shut up!" Janus interrupted him before he could finish his sentence. "I don't want to think about that and I will not talk to Logan about it"

Remus turned to Janus and looked unusually serious.

"Janus, you know I hate being the voice of reason, but you're leaving me no other choice. You can't avoid Logan forever. And if I was able to figure out what is happening, it's not going to take long for him to figure out too. He's the nerd here, not me. So just think about that, okay?"

It felt odd to have Remus be so reasonable, but Janus couldn't deny he was right. He looked his friend in the eye and gave him a knowing smile, which he understood instantly. A smile that said "yeah, I guess you're right. It's weird that you're making so much sense but I can't argue with that. I'm gonna think about your words".

"Well, my job here is done I guess" Remus said, standing up and heading out the door. "I guess I'll go back to my room and write some of the dirtiest, smuttiest and wrongest fanfiction about you two. Or maybe I'll terrorize Roman a little bit! That's always fun!" He stood by the door and let his head turn 180° degrees, just like the Exorcist girl, and waved "Bye Janie! Always a great time talking to you!"

He closed the door behind him and left Janus alone in his room with his thoughts. He hated how right Remus was, he couldn't let this situation carry out for much longer. Sooner or later, Logan and him would need to have a conversation about what happened. He could lie about it, of course. He was a professional in that field. But did he want to? Maybe things could work out for the better. Or maybe everything would go wrong. Once again, he hated his "gift" and everything it entailed. He hated how much he felt like he was invading Logan's privacy and how he let this whole situation get so far. He didn't like that he was starting to feel hopeful.

Janus made up his mind. Perhaps he still wasn't ready to confront Logan, but if Logan confronted him, perhaps it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to take off one of the many metaphorical layers he built throughout the years. Perhaps.

~~*~~

It took a few days. After Remus' visit, Janus had expected Logan to make a move soon but instead he was barely seen by anyone for a while. He came in the mornings to grab coffee and a light breakfast before disappearing, citing that he had research to do. Despite growing worried, Janus stuck to his guns and stayed away.

Then the letter appeared.

It was a late afternoon when someone knocked on Janus' door. He called out asking who it was but didn't get an answer. When he went to the door to check, he found an indigo envelope on the ground instead. He hesitated for a moment before picking it up and taking it inside.

The contents were simple and to the point, very much like Logan. He was asking Janus to come by his room for a talk and while he wasn't enthusiastic about it, Janus remembered his talk with Remus and steeled himself. He should at least hear him out. He owed him that much.

Janus took some time to gather his thoughts before heading out, rising up in front of Logan's room and knocking before he could talk himself out of it. Logan took mere seconds to open the door.

"Janus. I am glad to see you, please come in."

"It's good to see you as well." There was an awkward tension between them but Janus figured that was simply natural considering the situation. Even while his entire body was screaming at him to get away from there and just ignore the problem like he tended to do, he walked past Logan into the room and took a seat on his desk chair, turning it to face the room and in turn, Logan.

"Thank you for coming," Logan said as he closed the door. "I was unsure what to do if you had not. Well, to be honest, I wasn't sure what to do at all since you started avoiding me. I did not understand why you suddenly changed your attitude toward me so drastically. It hurt not getting any explanation either."

Janus flinched. He had pretty much ignored how all of this would affect Logan, hadn't he? Maybe Virgil was right in thinking that he was selfish…

"I went to talk to Remus because I simply couldn't think of anything else to do," Logan continued. "And while he did not give me clear answers either, at least he gave me a direction to go off of: Your avoidance of touch. So, I spent the last few days researching why you might want to limit physical contact but I am ashamed to admit that I did not come to a concrete conclusion. There are certain phobias that could be the cause, or other anxieties, though for the most part I considered touch starvation. However, Remus saying that it was not an obvious answer gave me pause. I began wondering if this is related to our metaphysical existence. Since there are no studies on beings such as us, I found it unnecessary to do further research and decided it would be better to simply ask you to speak with me directly."

Logan had paced before Janus during his explanation, clearly in need to get some nervous energy out. Janus didn't dare interrupt, he simply sat and let the words wash over him. It was sweet that Logan went through so much effort to understand him, even if it didn't end up bearing fruit, but Janus really shouldn't have made him worry so much in the first place.

He stopped his self-deprecating spiral when Logan's feet appeared in his vision. When had he started staring at the floor?

"I also thought a lot about what I wanted to get out of this conversation," Logan confessed. Janus looked up to find him fiddling with his tie nervously. "I realized that while I would like to know what exactly happened that evening that made you want to avoid me, I value your comfort more. So if you do not wish to tell me anything, I am also willing to accept that. I simply hope that we can return to how our relationship was before. I quite enjoy spending time with you and I'd hate to miss it."

"Logan, I—" Janus cut himself off, unsure of what to say. He really appreciated Logan's dedication and he knows he could trust him with his secret, but still… He'd avoided the topic for so long, was he really ready to talk about it?

His hesitance must've shown on his face because Logan spoke up again.

"You do not have to make a decision now, Janus. I am willing to wait however long you need to gather your thoughts." His hand reached forward to where Janus' hands were tightly clasped together on his lap, as if to comfort him but holding himself back knowing it could cross a boundary.

How could Janus ever deserve him?

"I'm an empath!"

…Janus had not meant to say that. He stared wide-eyed at Logan who stared back at him just as surprised, though it soon morphed to confusion, because of course Logan wouldn't know what an empath was.

And despite every part of his brain protesting the notion, demanding him to get out of there and to safety — not that Logan could ever be unsafe to him — Janus let his mouth talk, explaining his powers to Logan, how he discovered them as a child and how he had avoided touch as much as possible since. By the end he was shaking with the effort to keep his hands from slapping over his mouth to stop himself from talking.

"I believe I understand," Logan hummed once Janus stopped. "How very fascinating! Do you know how you establish that emotional link to the other person? Since it requires physical touch, skin to skin to be precise, is there a conduit on your skin that connect to the other—" He stopped himself. "I apologize if I am being too forward, I simply am curious to know the intricacies of the process but I do not wish to overstep any boundaries. No need for you to give me further information."

"I wouldn't answer any questions I didn't want to, Logan, you know that. I'm kind of relieved that you're taking this so well, I worried you'd be disgusted with me or something." He said it with a laugh to appear nonchalant, but Logan's expression only spoke of confusion once again.

"Why would I be?"

"Huh?"

"Why would I be disgusted by you? You are not at fault for the powers you manifest and besides that, there is nothing unpleasant about it in my eyes."

"You should find it unpleasant," Janus huffed, avoiding eye contact.

"Why?"

"Because it's a blatant invasion of privacy! I get a look into your most private thoughts basically without any consent! Everything you want to hide, repress, keep to yourself is open to me without any filter! I hate it. I wouldn't want anyone in my head like that."

Logan was quiet for a long moment. Longer than Janus was comfortable with, to be honest. When he looked up to see what Logan could be thinking, he found his expression blank.

"…Logan?" he dared to ask after a few more seconds of silence.

"I had not yet considered what you had experienced during our short moment of contact," he confessed. Though he raised his hand to hide it, Janus could see the red creeping onto his face.

He must've realized.

"I'm so sorry, Logan, I really didn't mean to—"

Janus was stopped by Logan raising his hand.

"Please do not apologize. I am honestly relieved that you found out like that because I was very much struggling with how I could possibly put my feelings for you into words. I considered writing some poetry but even then I was at a loss of how to express myself. You have made my life quite a bit easier. Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Way too sudden!! Janus.exe did not handle the sudden change in topic well.

"I— Wha— You don't— Umm… I—I—" he spluttered, trying to get his thought process back under control. When that didn't seem to work, he simply shut his mouth, once again avoiding eye contact.

"I apologize," Logan said, sheepishly. "I thought based on prior interaction that you might be interested in me romantically as well, but if that is not the case and you would prefer I stay away from you from now on, then I will of course respect your decision—"

"NO!" Janus interrupted frantically. "That's not what I— I just thought you shouldn't— I'm no—" He cleared his throat, trying to get his racing heart under control. After two deep breaths, he started again. "I was just surprised. I thought that maybe the last few days might've changed something. But I would like to go on a date sometime."

Janus could feel the blood gathering in his face, the blush clearly evident to Logan, but he refused to avoid eye contact again. Not in this moment. Not when Logan smiled so brilliantly.

"I am happy to hear that, thank you, Janus! And if you would like help with studying your powers more, then I am happy to help you. I would enjoy it if I could hold your hand someday."

Janus had no idea how Logan could say such cheesy things with a straight face but he hardly cared.

Somehow this horrible situation had lead to the best possible outcome.

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