[TW]
Hello,
I've been these last years with a very big depression caused by past traumas and abuse.
I only feel worse every day that passes.
It seems that people don't understand how bad someone can be, it seems that it's okay for people to laugh at you and insult you while you cry and ask for help.
I suffer from BPD, ADHD and bulimia. It feels like 3rd degree burns. It's the worst pain I've ever felt.
I started doing self-harm months ago and also choking myself to deal with the pain. I cry every single day while people around me ignore me. Being alone really messes up with your mental health. Even going to therapy does nothing.
After who I thought was the love of my life abandoned me for having a tachycardia and trying to contact him while I was alone in the hospital, my life has been pure torture and I only think about committing suicide every day. Which I tried previously several times.
Just yesterday I had another tachycardia and I fainted.
I wanted to say to him that thank you for hurting me to the point I'm going to kill myself. Thank you for making me start doing self harm. Thank you for ignoring my cries for help even where we were together.
Thank you for making me have bulimia. Thank you for leaving me alone crying so many times. Thank you for never defending me against any insults, any bad.
Thank you for kicking me out of your house to be with my abusive parents, the ones that made me have BPD. Thank you for giving me false hope for my recovery. Thank you for even knowing that l've been raped, you still decided to leave me alone with the pain and the trauma.
Thank you, Ådne Christensen Sviund.