* MIDDLE / BLAMED

[lodedblamed-blog]

                *  HERE’S   MY   DIARY   JOURNAL  !   NOW   SHOO  !

                                       ind .    priv .    highly sel .  penned by erin .

[pureefuel-deactivated20200602]

Noah Schnapp on the red carpet for Stranger Things 2.

[arabwife]

I’ll get over it I just gotta be dramatic first

[elizatitsgillies]

[lodedblamed-blog]

❪  . 001   ❫   :    BEVERLY

insecurities spike like barbed wire , crawling through your skin and burning your cheeks with it’s vicious whispers . it’s always the hair ! the colour , length , grasping at straws .     ❛   i DID !  ❜    defense mechanism shuts down rational thinking , only sharp words are left .     ❛  want me to cut your throat next , heffley ?  ❜

❛     woah    ,    hey   !         relax .    ❜       condescension only comes back on you .        sweet silver glint lines the pale edges of your throat .         where have you heard words that carry so SHARPLY before     ?          everywhere      /      from all angles .         you begin to wonder if they are more warranted than ever .         a laugh slips through lips    ,    no humor found .           use her knife to cut the tension .          ❛      it’s not a bad thing    !         tons of people cut their own hair .         i hear it’s  —  it’s  in fashion now .      ❜          a conversation cannot end .          i have not learned when my silence is valued .           ❛     why’d you do it    ?    ❜

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛    so    ,    zombie boy    ?    ❜       wear crude    ,    adolescent nicknames like scars.       some have the luxury of being proud of them.       i have wished them off of my body .       they itch at my skin .       a name that will be in lights     /     they are the BURNT OUT bulbs .       SISSY  is one thing .       i have not known a rotting grave like you have .         ❛    kids can be cruel    ,    huh .   ❜

@flayerer​    /     starter call .

[bylerly]

will byers + mental states

↳ happiness

go ahead, laugh!

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛     did you cut your own hair   ?       ❜         boy chasing shadows .        name is all that matters .         a glint of light in your tunnel vision .         narrowed eyesight on glory    ,    on fame you know will someday tumble onto your doorstep .         from look alone    ,    you are set on edge .         it almost inspires hope .         i cannot be any lamer than that   !

@bloodsrot​     /     starter call .

[firaequis-deactivated20141009]

anonymously leave a rumor about my character in my inbox

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛     shut up    ,    please .    ❜        first instinct is only panic .       only jumping heart rate .       mom would take my head off    !         decorate the mantle with it if she heard words like that .       in your journals    ,    you have drawn cartoons of your grave .         the various thing you do that may put you there .          ❛     aren’t you 12    ?       why do you talk like that   ?     ❜

@tinycomedian     /     starter call .

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛      I HATE YOU    !      ❜        disdain   /   disgust crosses his features .        your anger is not methodical    ,    not like every action you ever make .       the one thing you cannot carefully construct and control .       red ‘round the eyes  ———  QUIT YOUR BAWLING    ,    CRYBABY    !        voice barely manages to fight through the way it cracks    ,    all power lost .         ❛       i hate you so much .       ❜

@lodedbucks​      /      starter call .

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛     what’s up with your hair   ?     ❜        bluntly    ,    words tumble from rose lips .       little thought is put into them before they spill over .        you are a  DISASTER  in such a small frame .       you do not think before you speak .        this would be your downfall .       ❛    is that healthy   ?    ❜

@bleechleech     /     starter call  .

[lodedblamed-blog]

———   how’s   about   a   small   STARTER   CALL   ?

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛    you’re not gonna kick me out    ,    right   ?    ❜        basic rules of survival    :   don’t talk to anyone    ,    don’t make eye contact    ,    don’t order anything    ,    and stay in corners .      instead he is stuck in the AWKWARD MIDDLE of the room .       three out of four is not poor showing .       shuffle feet    ,    eye contact resting    ,    yet fragile .        ❛     i’m here for my brother .       he wanted  . . .  moral support    !         bad stage fright .    ❜

@hughhoncy​     /     starter call  .

[lodedblamed-blog]

❛   ben  —   ❜      it is eleven o’clock    ,    and the band continues to make the floor below your bed tremble .       when the parents are away    ,    music will play .       ears are ringing    /    eyes feel as though they weigh several dozen pounds .       alone in the garage is the singer .       it could be worse   !       it could be rodrick .         ❛     —   what are you doing   ?        do you not see the time   ?        why didn’t you go home   ?    ❜

@lodedsinger​       /     starter call  .

[lodedblamed-blog]

❪   . 001   ❫    :   RODRICK

- ̗̀  ▌ @lodedblamed ｀    ! ｀ !    ! !!╰            !      ╰       just because i love erin <3 ▌ ̖́- ̖

“That’s a REALLY NICE TRY, GREGIE. But WHATEVER YOU’VE THOUGHT,I’VE ALREADY THINKED IT!” 

❛     NO WAY    !    ❜        petulant    ,    childlike whine rises from hollow recesses of the throat .         a pull — string doll with four programmed sentences in a box tucked somewhere among your internals.       rodrick has been pulling on this string since you were able to speak .       he laughs every time    ,    despite having heard them all time and time again .         does he laugh with you or at you    ?         ❛     you’re not one step ahead this time   !     ❜

finger curls sharp around plastic trigger    ,    one eye screwed shut    ,    staring down a non — existent scope .       it is a clear shot from careful resting place in the bushes    ,    small frame camouflaged in shades of green and black .       WE HAVE BEEN GOING TO WAR SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN .       we are both too young to have fought this much .       careful concentration     /    this is his war to win   !       gives way to a decent shot    ,   stream of cool water firing into the wide open lawn    ,    but missing .         narrowly .          off small lips breathes out a smaller curse .         you taught me those vulgarities too .          ❛    there’s no chance i missed that    !       come on    ,    that had to have got you.    ❜

[timid]

my neutral expression makes me look like im always in a bad mood which is convenient because it’s usually true