im tired

im pretty sure i have everything figured out but im probably wrong. i act, kinda. word writer and video maker

[secondstar-acorn]

Red Vines: *exist*

Me: don’t do it

My dumbass brain after all these years:

[gif87a-com]

Framerate synced with a bird’s wings

[espressobean]

[hungwy]

*spins my clothes in a wet metal tube then bakes them in a different metal tube to undo the wetness*

[friskafriskito]

in literature this is called defamiliarization so congrats this post is officially a literary masterpiece  

[hungwy]

In my house its called laundry! Thank you!

[yugaks]

me cooking

[femaille]

[weaponsofclairvoyance]

[recuperationdisliker]

[yugaks]

[statsdead-deactivated20200602]

[teenagerposts]

the fray: where did i go wrong….. i lost a friend…..  somewhere along in the bitterness….. and i would have stayed up with you all night……  had i known how to save a life……

12 year old me:

[midnight-revolucion]

22 year old me:

[kittensnax]

I’m a busy man. Got two caution signs to remind me to slow down sometimes. Got a vibrating megaphone. Clocks. Radiation. Four goats. Got half a tank of simple columnar epithelial tissue. 60% through my day. Half a tank of gas. And it’s only 10:50.

[slowspinningredemption]

the day is december 18, 2018. i type a post and use ‘👀’ in the text body. the emoji too closely resembles nipples (female presenting) and i am immediately executed

[bootycap]

[logiclens]

easy. my dog is never excited to see me. unless I have food 

[weloveshortvideos]

[emmersdrawberry]

She won.

[gnssclothing]

she won alright lol

[geibuchan-deactivated20250804]

[kuroii98]

[interstellar-space-cadet]

I’m every one in this

[closecaptionvevo]

MAN 1 (in a high pitched, whiny voice) Look what you’ve done to my peonies!

WOMAN (angrily) They’re marigolds!

MAN 2 God! I think she’s right! They are marigolds!

MAN 1 I may not know my flowers, but I know a (yells in her direction) bitch when I see one!

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

[daddy-kong-deactivated20231011]

Guess we’re all gunna have to be horny on LinkedIn now.

[devilscandy]

[luvbey]

i just want to sit in front of the ocean for a little while

[tealesbian]

the rain: makes that soft rain sound

me immediately:

[piesandswords]

when your teacher says you can’t use first person pronouns in your writing

[piesandswords]

WAIT SHIT

[catsofinstagram]

[lperezidente]

He makin biscuits

[antiandrogen]

he is biscuits

[logiclens]

@allll-smiles 

[paxamericana]