insert title here

Kat, aroace, cis, she/her, 20s. Podcast blog @asexualchloe.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[thegunlady]

love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”

[seraph5]

My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’

[x-authorship-x]

[your-royal-momoness]

[that-stone-butch]

personalized ads are so funny to me

'hey we've been spying on you and tracking your every move. it's a culmination of state of the art technology and an unprecedented invasion of consumer privacy. a room full of men with made up jobs bent their will toward decades of constructing this system, defending it in court, and tirelessly innovating new ways to aggregate more data about you'

and the end result is

'yeah so uh we saw that you recently bought a car. so here's an ad for that car'

like no i'm good actually. you might be aware that i already have one

[samimarkart]

🌈

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[batsandboba]

[beardedmrbean]

this sounds like a party to me

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[you-need-not-apply]

Bro I just nearly fucking died

[you-need-not-apply]

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

[you-need-not-apply]

Dude I was dry heaving into a sink barely breathing and my brain went “this is gonna make a sick ass tumblr story”

[epistleii]

is this accurate

[you-need-not-apply]

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

[dancinbutterfly]

I can never leave here

[great-and-small]

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

[wizardarchetypes]

literally said out loud to myself 'i need to do something to calm down and regulate my nervous system' and then opened tumblr.com. like a guy in a horror movie going to check out the scary sound in the basement.

[essektheylyss]

started rereading the Emelan books and I love all of the circle kids so much but I never get over how funny Rosethorn and Briar are. truly the only* child she's ever taken a liking to and it's because they are both the prickliest bitches in Emelan. you know when Briar asked Niko what the plants with thorns were to pick a name for himself he fucking laughed. he claims he hadn't expected Sandry or Tris to wind up at Discipline but there's no way he didn't know from the jump that this little thief was gonna be wrapped around Rosethorn's finger within moments. the funniest duo of all time and I love them.

*yes Evvy also but that was all Briar's doing. it wouldn't have happened without him lbr

[targetedknowledge]

[screamting]

in modern day it's very easy to look at batman and be like "WHAT was this guy doing. Insane choice. You do NOT have to fight crime this way" but then you learn literally anything about the US in 1900-1939 and you're like "oh a batman terrifying people would have actually for real improved the situation"

[orange-clown]

So I’ve seen a few “Grace time travels” fics (and absolutely loved them!) but it got me thinking - what about Rocky?

Rocky, whose age difference means that he’s sent back pre-mission to before Grace was even born.

So he protects his crew from the radiation, gets the Taumoeba, and once their sun is fixed, heads out to Earth.

And so, just as the Hail Mary project is in full swing, a giant-ass spaceship appears in Earth’s orbit, releases SOMETHING to the sun that stops the Petrova line, then communicates in English(??!!??) that in thanks, it wants to meet One Scientist In Particular.

Which then leads to two branching options:

Grace didn’t timetravel

Stratt: What the fuck did you do??!?

Grace: I don’t know! I’m just a teacher???

Grace DID timetravel

Stratt: huh. Guess you didn’t actually go crazy…

Grace: OMG YAY bestie’s here!!!

[3liza]

a fun band name game would be pairing bands with their diametric opposition. so for example, the cherry poppin daddies : men i trust

[3liza]

really good

[edgebug]

"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."

"come again?"

"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."

"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."

a long and judgmental pause. then:

"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"

[bugsnax]

i went to save this video again, but i already had a video titled ME.mp4 saved in the folder when i went to save it. and it was this exact same video saved previously