insert title here

Kat, aroace, cis, she/her, 20s. Podcast blog @asexualchloe.

[hisuizorua]

they call it amtrak because the trains am on the trak

[wooteena]

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

[bramblepatch]

Grace explaining sheepishly to Eridian linguists that the reason he uses different pronouns for Rocky than for the rest of the population is that he reflexively defaulted to assigning Rocky the same grammatical and social gender that he himself uses, in a way that has historical precedent but in modern English is considered somewhat chauvinistic and backward, and he's not proud of it but also the habit is pretty deeply ingrained now and unless Rocky objects it's probably easier to just keep on as he has been...

and immediately being informed lol. lmao. do not even worry about it. you have no idea what kind of buck wild grammatical constructs Rocky has invented for you. everyone else addresses you as foreigner/scholar. they're somehow managing to refer to you as their sibling, ward, and semidivine culture hero at the same time every time they talk about you.

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[fallout-lou-begas]

Visit Original Link

[snoleopard7]

[libertineangel]

It is implied through gameplay mechanics that the two kingdoms at war in chess both formally permit regnal polygamy, allowing the King to take at least nine wives of equal status, and that marriage can be bestowed as a military honour, but curiously that honour - in stark contrast to the conventional attitudes of the aristocracy - can only be bestowed upon soldiers of the unlanded class, leaving great questions to be asked of the material interests and stability of these kingdoms' aristocracies

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

also, their horses lack limbs & their castles are small

[worlds-tiredest-girl]

yknow the smallness of the castles is FAR from their most interesting distinction from the noticeably immobile ones we are familiar with

[tanoraqui]

I think it actually makes a lot of sense. It's difficult to become a queen; it only happens to pawns that survive the way across the whole board. That is, to peasants who prove themselves with particular skill and dedication - to them, the King grants additional power, to continue to guard him. But a Queen's power comes at a cost: she is also a primary target for the entire opposing army. So, the peasantry are promised great power and respect IF they first prove themselves by pushing into ever-increasing danger (very few survive this), and the reward brings them into potentially even greater danger as they continue to protect the King and serve in his forever war.

[papayafromtv]

ten year old Tim Drake having a minor phase of liking archeology bcs of his parents so he starts digging shit up in his garden, but because he’s Tim Fucking Drake he does it too well and accidentally unearths one of the tunnels that connects to the fucking batcave.

ten year old Tim Drake who already knew who Batman and Robin were, finding out he now has a secret tunnel in his garden connecting his house to their lair, and he’s just like ‘fuck yeah that’s cool.’ and starts exploring.

thirteen year old Jason Todd bored and fucking around alone in the batcave system when he comes across a fucking ten year old who knows his identity, clearly idolises the hell out of him, and is just kinda wandering around the cave system alone and completely chill about it. they see a super dangerous spider and Tim just starts info-dumping on the species. when asked if he has a curfew to go back home by he goes ‘uh, July i guess? that’s when mom and dad get back.’ it is early February.

thirteen year old Jason Todd who takes a minute and then goes ‘ok this is funny as fuck i promise i won’t snitch to Bruce.’

Jason Todd and Tim Drake being secret cave buddies. Jason Todd and Tim Drake hanging out in the tunnels and making fun of Batman and Nightwing from the shadows. Tim Drake who has to buy a whole new set of night-vision camera lenses for his new photo album that’s just photos and selfies of him and his new best friend Robin fucking around in the underground pitch-dark.

Jason Todd who dies, gets revived, is told by Talia that Tim Drake has ‘replaced him’ unknowing they’re already friends, and Jason who all he can think of is that time they played hide and seek in the cave system and Tim clung to the fucking ceiling via a stalactite for 45 minutes straight. Jason Todd who just looks at Talia and goes ‘yeah sounds about right for him.’

Jason Todd being told he has to deliver Damian to Bruce and he decides ‘absolutely the fuck not’ to the idea of even touching the front door. they have a Ring camera he is not getting caught on that bullshit.

Jason Todd who just goes to Drake Manor and uses Tim’s old entrance to get into the tunnels, his home away from home, dragging Damian along, until he gets to a spot where he can secretly signal into the batcave for Tim to sneak the fuck away.

fifteen year old Tim Drake who gets called into the tunnels to find the Red Hood, unmasked as Jason, presenting to him a random child which he declares to be the son of Batman.

fifteen year old Tim Drake who comes full circle and says ‘ok this is funny as fuck i promise i won’t snitch to Bruce.’

the cave boys are reunited. a third is added to the club. a new photo album is filled. when Tim brings Damian up through the tunnels into the cave he looks Bruce dead in the eyes and says fully straight-faced ‘this is your cave son. i found him wandering, he was born from the shadows of the bat.’

eleven year old Damian Al Ghul-Wayne who’s spent the past three and a half years under Jason Todd’s influence and sombrely declares ‘the cave birthed me for you, father. i am darkness. i am your child.’

Bruce Wayne who genuinely is starting to lose it.

[aggressionbread]

It sucks that the only way to begin is by beginning

[em-the-mushroom815]

it's even worse that the only way to learn is by playing and the only way to win is by learning

[anarqueeen]

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

[ceruleana]

Eva Stratt's pov of phm is kinda insane really. Because it's basically being told, hey humanity WILL go extinct soon. but we've decided that if one person makes it through all the levels of the Torment Nexus our chances of survival might increase. they might also not. Anyway. We think you're the best person to do this. Your reward is that everyone will hate you forever.

And you're like well. I'd rather trust myself to the fate of the world than anyone else. And I'd rather not let anyone else suffer the Torment Nexus just because of my own feelings. That seems kinda selfish. Alright sure.

So you enter the Torment Nexus. Each level has you pressing buttons like, [abduct innocent scientists to your vat: chances of humanity's survival increases by 0.005%] [everyone disliked that] [congrats! your moral goodness has decreased!].

The later levels get even worse. [blow up Antarctica: chances of humanity's survival increases by, ummm who knows ????] [total humans negatively affected: ????] [congrats! you're an ecoterrorist!].

Then you reach the final level. It reads: [through this door you'll break the news to your friend that he needs to die.] And you're like, wait he has to die??? I have to tell him?? But that's incredibly fucked up. After I went through the Torment Nexus as well. But it's the last level. So oh well. I can do this I suppose. Rather me than anyone else.

You enter the level and you friend is standing next to a cliff. You go over to him and say, hey this really fucking sucks but I've just learnt you need to jump off the cliff. Then we might be able to save humanity for real though. Maybe billions of people can survive if this works.

Then he turns to you and is like, are you fucking insane? And starts sprinting away from the cliff. Suddenly you have a gun in your hand. You're like, no wait. I don't want to do this. For real? I gotta shoot him for real? [Chances of survival if he lives: 0%. Chances of survival if he dies: maybe NOT 0%......????]. You pull the trigger. [congrats! you're a murderer!]

[piesandswords]

my dream check please adaptation would be a four-season 22-episode apiece sitcom, with each season being one year of the comic/one year of bitty's time at samwell. this would allow it to be silly enough to really bring the spirit of the comic, allow for little hocky shit animations, provide opportunity for all of the characters to get the development they deserve, and meaningfully seperate it from both heartstopper and heated rivalry. extra plotlines could get added to adapt the tweets and really make it sing! i think of this magnificant and improbably dream often.

[insaneandlovingit]

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

[problemnyatic]

desired you while the women flee

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[susiephone]

that post that's like "if Hamlet and Othello swapped plays, their tragedies would've been avoided" except it's for Andy Weir protagonists

Mark Watney would've been banging on Stratt's door demanding he be tested for the Hail Mary mission, resume in hand before she had time to finish her first speech on the matter

Rocky and Ryland Grace working together would get off of Mars before NASA even realized Grace was alive, Grace would just roll up like "oh hey guys! look! I made a friend, he gave me a ride home!"

[were--ralph]

this tweet genre is so fucking funny i need more of them

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

how many sharks does a tornado need to be considered a sharknado

1

2

3-5

10 ????

more ??????

other ????????????

Voting ended onMar 27

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

this is the level of analysis we’re looking for here people

[symphony-calamity]

Guy who's been "doing normal": yeah I've been doing normal lately

Guy who's actually been doing normal: why'd you say it like that

[jesncin]

make a terrible comic day 2026 and this is what I come up with in an hour. sometimes they're on the same shared brain cell