It's in the way his hand moves over yours as you turn the page. That slightest intentional touch, the desire to hold dear manifested in a small and subtle gesture.
You used to think nothing of it. It's always been one of Loki's mannerisms, to put his hand over yours, envelop it for a moment as he helps you with something you could very well do yourself: the turn of a page, the grasp of a weapon, the reins of a horse. You used to think, up until this moment, that it was because of his impatience. But as you sit beside him on the floor in the corner of the library, next to large windows that light up the room with golden dust, your skin warm with the heat of the sun through the glass... and watch the way his hand flexes when he pulls it away, your stomach drops.
You've come to notice that Loki, unlike his brother, is not a grand, definitive statement. Not a precisely carven marble statue where every angle is complete. He is the sum of his small gestures: a faint smirk, a small quirk of the brow, a flash of emotion across the eyes that strikes you like a shooting star. Bright and brilliant and all too easy to miss. The affection in his face for you unmasked, but only ever for a moment.
It makes you wonder, as you glance at him from the corner of your eye, how many of the signs you missed before this moment. Right now his angular face is beautiful in its focus, as he trails the line of the book with his finger, lips moving in soundless shapes of the words. He parts those lips when he looks at you, sometimes. Like you bring him a taste of unrestrained awe; the thought makes your heart flutter violently against your ribs.
He looks up then, catching you in the act, and there's another small gesture: he blinks, and his long, dark eyelashes catch in the golden light, revealing their warm undertones. "What is it?" He asks, in a way that makes you suspect he already knows the answer.
You shake your head and make a face. "Nothing," you lieâ which, to the god of lies is a bold statement indeed, but he says nothing. You stare at each other, until some of the dust from the ancient books around you catches in your breath the wrong way and you sneeze.
He laughs, quiet and musical in the empty library. When you rub your nose and open your eyes, he's still looking at you, just for that moment, and it's like all the puzzle pieces are fitting together.
Loki is in love with you.
His eyes narrow in a way that's almost fond. "What is it?" He asks, more pointedly, and you realize he doesn't know. That you've found him out. You've undone his riddle. Solved the culmination of years and years of clues so cleverly hidden, he may not even know they're there.
"I think ..." you begin, and then your face flushes at the thought of finishing the sentence. I think you're in love with me, because sometimes you touch my hand.
But you know that you're right. In your bones, in your core, you know Loki and you always have, and you're right about this.
And I think I'm in love with you, because when you touch my hand I wish you wouldn't let go.
It takes a moment for you to come back to yourself and realize that Loki is hanging on your last word. His expression is open in suspense, with perhaps a twinge of fear behind his emerald-green eyes, because he doesn't know what you're going to say.
You open your lips and find that you're smiling. "So this is love," you say without thinking, and Loki's brow furrows at the same time as his pale cheeks flush.
"What is?"
You lean forward and pull back his hand from where it rests on his knee, setting it on top of yours; the two of them lying on the open page like they always do, only now he doesn't dare pull his away. Instead, Loki looks up and meets your eyes with bated breath.
"This," you say softly, and turn your hand over beneath his, palm to palm, and you twine your fingers through his. Your heart is in your throat. "Isn't it?"
He takes a moment to answer. Eyes shaking with the thoughts that run behind them, his gently curling hair glowing in the warm afternoon light. Slowly, he draws a deep breath, and curls his fingers around yours. "If you think it's love, it is," he agrees softly, the confession soft and shaky on his lips. It almost makes you smileâ knowing that Loki is the sum of subtle gestures, and yet for you he opens. A lock with the right key.
You squeeze his hand, but when you move to let go, he recaptures it. Pulling it back to him, running his thumb over your knuckles, and then... he looks back down at the book between you, and continues reading like he had done before.
You smile and laugh through your nose. Even though your heart is still beating hard, in the end, nothing has really changed. Loki was already telling you for years of his affection, and you - knowingly or not - were telling him, too. Two sums of small gestures that make up a love so powerful your chest aches at the realization of it: knowing for certain that Loki, your longtime friend, feels the same.
Iâve decided to kind of start over. I unlinked a lot of my fics that are old and I wasnât really all that proud of. You can still find them if you look up the tags ( _______ x reader) but I want to start fresh. I know I havenât posted fics in forever, but Iâve been trying to just live my own life and I think I might be ready to start writing again. Weâll see. Thanks for sticking around.
Hello! I'm sending this message to a couple of my favorite writers, just a little bit of praise. Thank you for giving us your wonderful art. "You are powerful, beautiful, and brilliant". With love. -Nini â¤ď¸
So glad youâre back! Remember to take your time and donât pressure yourself too muchđ¤ I was stalking you and saw the pregnancy anon asked about and OMG I had the same thought!(great minds think alike anonđ)
Thanks babe! âĽď¸
once again, y'all are so horny for Dad!Loki.... I can neither confirm nor deny your suspicions, unfortunately. You'll just have to wait and see!
I do have a question for all my Polaris readers, though! Do we like our storyline darker, or more lighthearted?
Hihihihi I just wanna tell you how much i adore your work PolarisđđđđYou have no idea how happy I was reading it, your writing is just so damn good!!! I don't even know how to explain how much i love it so I guess I'll just say. ... THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH FOR WRITING SUCH A WONDERFUL MASTERPIECE!!!
Thank you!! All this love for Polaris is helping me want to write it again. I've been in serious writer's block for a while. âĽď¸đâĽď¸ I appreciate you!
Omg omg omg ok so I barely started following you because I found Polaris a while back (I was actually thinking about it today đ ), but... HIIIII I HOPE YOURE FOING SPLENDIDLY ITS LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN!! đđ Okay, Iâll calm down now, sorry about that đ
Hi!! No need to apologize. Itâs lovely to hear from you too, anon!
Hey!! I started Polaris at 3 am and was awake the whole night reading it!! Itâs just so good!! I wanted to ask when youâll post the new chapter(17)Iâm not trying to rush you just need something to look forward to in these dark times ,alsoooo they didnât use protection(I mean obviously) sooo will there be a pregnancy..đđ
Omg PLEASE get some rest!
Chapter 17 is going a little slow just because I'm weighing my options, plot-wise. See, originally, I did have the entire plot hashed out, and then my brain said "what if we didn't do that," sooo I need to figure it out. Who knows! My lips are sealed. đś
General update on me: Writing, as usual, is a back-burner activity in my life... right now, it's not even on the stove. I'm trying to stay active politically and do my part with the protests, I just got a new job, I'm moving across the country this fall.... All good things, but by the time I get done with the day, all I want to do is play minecraft with my friends and go to bed, you know?
TL;DR: Hopefully updating soon! I've learned not to promise anything because I can never stick to it đ
I LOVE your Conrad fics, they fill my heart with so much joy, knowing that people still write for him. The fact you do it so well is just the cherry on top. I was wondering if you could do a James Conrad x reader fix where James meets the reader who is a doctor on one of his expeditions, because sheâs their medic. And they love each other to absolute bits, and heâs so gentle and kind with reader. If you want, this could take place during the Kong skull island movie? Thank you â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Aww, thank you! I am very grateful for your interest in my writing, and that is a lovely plot idea! However, I donât think I could quite do it the justice it deserves.
I say this because it has already been done by one of my favorite writers, @lokimostly. Theyâre incredibly talented, and her series Rainy Days follows pretty much that very plotline youâve described. I promise that her series would blow anything Iâd write out of the water. I hope you enjoy it!
Hey I was just wondering if you knew any other pirate auâs. I love Polaris but I have already bing read it lol your so great Iâm just looking for any others cause I canât get enough of pirates!
Oh, I wish I did!! part of why I wrote Polaris was because I couldnât find any. I decided to take matters into my own hands with that one. Though I havenât looked in a few months, so maybe something new has appeared?Â
I have one called Silken Sails. There are only two chapters posted before I put it on hiatus due to quarantine. But I intend on getting back to it in June. Â
Hi! Regarding the question of pirateAU. I know of one, but with Tom not Loki... hope it is ok. Its called Brothers in Arms. A bit time traveling involved and the main character gets between two brothers, portraid by Tom and Michael Fassbender. Oh and your stories are SOOO GOOD! Love, love, lovee your writing. Hugs...
Oh very cool! Also, thank you, and many hugs!!
P.S. Tagging @littlemissporter again because she asked the initial question âĄÂ
CHAPTER 16 WAS AMAZING SDKSGAHDB IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY. I CANT WAIT TO SEE THOR AND LOKI WORK TOGETHER BUT I ALSO DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS FOR HER AND THORâS ENGAGEMENT. IM WORRIED. I JUST WANT HER AND LOKI TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER :(
Aaah thank you!!! Iâm excited to see the brothers work together, too. Hopefully Lokiâs wits will enable him to work it all out!Â
Summary: Your life has always been set in stone. Born to a wealthy merchant family in the Caribbean, youâve spent your years as an heiress in the daytime, escaping at night to wander the streets of St. Thomas. Now, on the eve before your life settles into mundanity for good, you discover someone who could change everythingâ if you choose to trust him, that is.
A/N: As promised, this chapter is entirely from Lokiâs perspective! Donât worry, weâll get back to our debutante reader soon. For now, this is his part of the story. Letâs let him tell it.
Chapter One ~ Chapter Two ~ Chapter Three  ~ Chapter Four ~  Chapter Five ~ Chapter Six ~ Chapter Seven ~ Chapter Eight ~ Chapter Nine ~ Chapter Ten ~ Chapter Eleven ~ Chapter Twelve ~ Chapter Thirteen ~ Chapter Fourteen ~ Chapter Fifteen
The sun was making its first appearance over the glass sea, turning the sky pink and lighting on the waves with a rosy glow. The clouds were as pale and wispy as stretched cotton. As the sunrise dimmed the map of stars above, it burned bright in the reflection of Lokiâs bloodshot eyes, staring out at the waves as they turned to gold.
His hands were already blistered from rowing. The sinew of his muscles had been stretched to their limit a few hours ago, and so he had let go of the oars to hold his head in his hands instead, filled with a despair that felt larger than the ocean around him. Hot, frustrated tears fell from his eyes, more to try and soothe their dryness than to curb the aching in his chest. Perhaps it was a mix of both. It was only in raising his head to dry his eyes, blinking away the water and fatigue, that he saw the merchant ship approaching.
Lokiâs brows pulled together. It was a trading company ship; not Odinâs. Rather small. The bell on deck was ringing, signaling a man overboard as they approached, and a few seconds later, a rope landed in Lokiâs lap.
Several pairs of hands helped haul him over the side, pulling him onto the deck, but they were quick to leave him; Lokiâs reddened eyes and haggard look gave him a frightening aura, one that the men obviously werenât keen to hang around. He slowly straightened his posture, rolling his sore shoulders and looking down at the Captain, standing in front of him.Â
Loki gave him a single glance, surveying him without much consideration. He was small and portly with receding hair, hardly intimidatingâ though clearly he was doing his best to look nonplussed by Lokiâs sudden and unexpected arrival.
âGlad to have you aboard, sir,â he greeted, as warmly as he was able. âIâm Capân Montgomery, and thisâs my ship The Duchess. Howâd you wind up all the way out here?â
Loki didnât answer. He stood still on the rocking deck, his posture stiff, looking out at the pale dawn sky with a hardened expression.Â
Captain Montgomery waited awkwardly for his response, shifting his posture. Then he cleared his throat. âPerhaps youâd like to talk elsewhere?â He gestured to the doors that led to the Captainâs cabin.
Lokiâs eyes trailed to the left, and he nodded. He followed the Captain inside, walking slow and cat-like with a look of apprehension as he stepped over the threshold. His eyes were quick in surveying the small room, unadorned by lavish decor. The only notable object of interest was the mahogany desk that Captain Montgomery sat himself behind, setting his elbows atop its surface and waiting for Loki to close the door.
He did so, and stepped over. The shipâs charter laid open-faced by the Captainâs hand, and Lokiâs dark eyebrows pulled together. âWhere is this vessel headed?â
Captain Montgomeryâs eyebrows raised and he held out his hand in a stopping motion. âNow, hang on a minute. I have some questions to ask you firstââ
Loki reached forward and spun the paper to face him, scanning the lines. âKingston?â
The Captainâs eyes flickered. âAye, thatâs right, sir.â
Lokiâs frown deepened. âThat is exactly the opposite of where I need to go,â Loki muttered in annoyance.
The man shifted in his seat, visibly uncomfortable. âWellââ
âWhat day is it?â Loki interrupted again, looking up at him. His gaze was sharp enough to cut glass. They might have been a different color, but when he wanted them to, Lokiâs eyes could hold just as much chill as his fatherâs.Â
The Captain blinked. âUhâ the first of August, sir.â
âWhat was your name again?â
âMontâ Montgomery. Captain Montgomery.â
Loki hummed shortly, leaning on the desk. He glanced back at the closed doors, then returned to the paper in front of him, running a finger over his lip in thought. The captain watched him uneasily as he stood there, still as stone, with nothing but the rocking of the ship to mark the passage of time.
Suddenly Loki reached forward and grabbed the captain by the collar, slamming his face into the mahogany and twisting his arm behind his back in one fluid motion. The Captain shouted in surprised pain, only to be silenced when Loki twisted his arm further, his lips curled in a snarl.
âListen to me very carefully, Montgomery,â he threatened between his teeth. âIt is in our mutual best interests that you take this ship to St. Thomas immediately. One more inch in the wrong direction and this arm will break. If you donât do as I say, the same thing will happen to your neck.â
The Captain struggled fruitlessly beneath Lokiâs grip, his face squashed against the desk in a contorted expression of anger. âYou â you bastard!â
âPirate,â Loki corrected, applying the slightest fraction of pressure. It was enough to make the captain gasp and pant in pain. âDo we understand each other, Montgomery?â
âItâllââ The Captain wheezed, struggling to speak. âItâll take moreân three days to get there. The wind⌠the windâs against us.â
âThen you should bear a hand and tell your men to come around,â Loki suggested coldly, and let go of him. Captain Montgomery stood up so fast that he stumbled backwards, holding his arm and staring at Loki with frightened eyes. He darted past Loki and out of the cabin, running faster than Loki suspected he ever had in his life. Judging by his portly stature, it was probably a good thing for him. Nothing like a healthy fear of death to keep you fit.
Loki stood in the empty cabin and listened to the muted sounds of the captain shouting orders above, and he tightened his jaw, reaching into his pocket. The cold coin was there, safely stowed away. He rubbed it between his fingers, smoothing over the serpentâs pattern with the pad of his thumb. His eyes drifted to the window. Somewhere, out there, you were being held in a cell â stuck behind rusted bars while the sand in the hourglass slowly sifted through.
August the first. That meant he had until the end of the month to secure your safety, with at least four days already spent by the time he reached St. Thomas. Lokiâs grip tightened on the coin. If fate had pushed you together â and he firmly believed that hit had â then fate would keep you from being pulled apart.
~
Nearly a week later, The Duchess floated into the rainy port of St. Thomas. The sun peeked out occasionally behind the clouds while it showered. It was one of those odd, rainy summer days before hurricane season where the weather couldnât quite whip up enough energy to storm with full rage and intensity; not yet.
The sailors were still tying the small merchant ship to the dock when the gangplank dropped and Loki descended from the ship, running down the slippery wharf so fast that he nearly stumbled. He dodged the men loading crates, ducking underneath a load of lumber carried between two sailors, and climbed the cobble stairs with exhausted determination.
Home was only a few hours away, but Loki wasnât headed there; not yet. Instead he headed up the street, doing his best to keep his tired legs from giving out underneath him. He made a right and found the corner bar, stumbling inside. This was the place you and Loki had first encountered one another, but also somewhere that heâd frequented long before your fateful meeting. The creaking floorboards beneath his feet were as familiar as the mattress of his own bed, and the heady smells of mahogany and beer reassured his senses that he was safe. Home.Â
Being the middle of the day, the corner bar was totally devoid of customers. Light streamed in through the fogged windows while the buildingâs only occupant, the bartender, polished glasses behind the counter with monotonous repetition, glancing up only when Loki pulled himself into one of the barstools and leaned against the counter, his hair and clothes dripping wet. The only sounds were the steady shower of light rain outside and the squeak of fabric rubbed against glass.
âYouâre a bit early in the day, young master,â The bartender observed curiously. The man sported a heavy accent behind his mustache, but his tone was good-natured and amiable. He was as much a part of the bar as the polished countertop and neatly lined bottles on the shelves behind him.
âI need a drink,â Loki said hoarsely, dropping his head into one hand and massaging his temples. His whole body ached, inside and out. Beating slow inside his chest, Lokiâs heart weighed him down as though it was made of lead.
The glass slid down the counter and Loki caught it with his free hand: cold, polished glass with dark liquor inside. He tilted his head back and downed it in one go, setting the empty cup down on the polished wood. The bartender refilled it without asking, handing it back to him before returning to his former task. He polished the cups until they sparkled like crystal, despite the fact that they were already clean; no doubt it was a soothing, repetitive notion to help the empty afternoon hours pass by. âYou âere to talk, or just drink?â
Loki scoffed. âWhatâs there to talk about?â He asked, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them tiredly. Dull sparks floated behind his vision, signs of dehydration and an oncoming headache.
âFair ânough, sir. I wonât press you.â
Loki dropped his hand and regarded the man with a flat expression. His mouth pressed into a thin line, and he dropped his gaze, spinning the glass of liquor in his hand. He stared at the distorted wood pattern of the bartop through the brown liquor.Â
The bartender watched him with soft, dark eyes for a moment longer before he tried again. âIs it a woman?â
âOf course itâs a woman,â Loki snapped, though his words didnât have much bite; they never did when he was telling the truth. He thumbed the rim of the glass. âItâs the woman,â he admitted, more quietly.
The bartender nodded knowingly, tossing his rag aside and fetching a fresh one. âShe leave you?â He asked, his tone conversational and unassuming, from decades of practice with discussions far more delicate than this one.Â
Loki shook his head. His wet raven hair slipped past his shoulders when he did, falling in gentle waves past his ears and smelling of saltwater. âNo. I lost her.â He frowned at the sudden blurriness in his eyes, downing his second glass and setting it down with a gentle thud. He sniffed. Straightened in his seat. âIâm getting her back.â Whether he said this to reassure the bartender or himself, Loki wasnât entirely sure.
The city bell tolled out the hour, bringing him back to a state of clarity. It was later than heâd thought. Loki reached into his pocket for money to pay â and then realized he didnât have any, apart from the serpent coin. The coin he couldnât give away. Loki stalled, his elegant fingers still at his sides while he tried to think of a solution to this sudden dilemma.Â
The bartender noticed his hesitation and extended his hand with a polite shake of his head. âYouâve been generous in the past, young master,â he stated. âI trust youâll be back.â
Loki met his eyes. Normally he would take offense to a gesture of charity; Loki had never lacked for money, not once in his life, and he never intended to. But if heâd learnt anything from the past weeks, it was that even his best intentions didnât guarantee the future. He met the bartenderâs eyes and found them to be soft and reassuring. He bowed his head. âThank you.â
The man shrugged, like it wasnât any problem to him, taking Lokiâs empty glass and polishing it alongside all the rest. âBring your woman next time.â
Loki laughed once, humorlessly, and stood. âI will,â he promised, with a final nod of thanks before he turned his back to the bartender and walked back out towards the drenched cobblestone street, feeling renewed somehow â perhaps by the drink, though more likely by the manâs kindness. Not everyone in the world was bloodthirsty and rotten.
Not everyone in the world is a pirate, Loki thought. Of course, he considered himself a rare exception: Loki was a pirate, yes, but a reputable one. Honorable, even. However â somewhere deep in his heart â Loki was beginning to come to terms with the fact that getting you back might permanently soil that reputation. He intended to do whatever it took, however foul, even if it meant killing Vane and all his crewmen with his bare hands.
Would you be able to love him, if it came to that? If he became a murderer? Would you let him touch you with bloody hands, or would you turn away in fear and disgust?
The thought disquieted him, and he shook his head to clear the thought. Whether you hated him or not at the end of this didnât matter, so long as you got out alive. He owed you that much.Â
His seaglass eyes looked up instinctively towards the road that he knew lead home, but he turned the opposite way instead: there was still one more errand to run.Â
In order for Loki to both save you and maintain a clear ledger inside his fatherâs business, he had to find a way to combine the two. That meant enlisting in his familyâs help, while simultaneously making it look like he wasnât involved at all. During his time floating adrift in the waves, waiting for the sunrise, Loki had surmised a plan of action. With some skill, and a great deal of luck, it would prove itself successful.
He hoped his luck hadnât run out yet.
Loki found himself in a familiar backside alley, the entrance hidden behind empty fruit crates stacked six feet high. He stepped carefully down the narrow cobble path, wrinkling his nose at the stench of city sludge and old bathwater dumped unceremoniously onto the ground. The clotheslines above hung limp in the afternoon, the fabric heavy and wet from the rain â whoever put them out had neglected to retrieve them. He found the heavy wooden door with gold hinges and knocked, twice. Then he stepped back into the rain, no more than a light mist at this point, and waited.Â
He was considering turning away when it finally opened. The man who answered the door had dark skin and eyes that shimmered like copper. His hair fell over his broad shoulders in locs, decorated with metal clasps. His face wore a stern expression that revealed exactly nothing, and he waited with one hand on the door â prepared to shut it again at a momentâs notice. âYes?â
âHeimdall,â Loki greeted solemnly, and glanced out at the alley for listening ears.
âYou donât have an appointment.â
âThis isnât my usual business,â he explained, squinting as misty rainwater dripped down his face and clung to his eyelashes. âItâll be quick. I only need one page; no forgings, no signatures. It just canât be my hand.â
The dark man hesitated, gripping the door while he considered this. Lokiâs clothes stuck to him, and he silently wished that Heimdall would at least let him inside, but he knew not to press the matter. Their relationship was a strictly professional one, and he knew how much he was asking. âIâll pay twice whatever you ask,â he added.
Heimdallâs copper eyes met Lokiâs, his expression still flat, and then he opened the door further. âCome in. Donât sit. Youâll ruin the chair.â
Loki obliged, stepping in quickly. The room was dark and smelled of leather, lit only by candles and the narrow, cross-hatched windows that lined one wall. The other three sides of the small, square space were lined by bookshelves, lined with bottles, parchment, and bookkeeperâs tools. Less conspicuously, there were a few shelves full of antiquated volumes, which he knew to contain ledgers upon ledgers of signatures and scripts. A forgerâs library.
Heimdall sat down at the desk, dipping his quill into the inkwell. âYouâre lucky. Iâm not busy today.â
Loki nodded in agreement, feeling relieved. âYes, I know â itâs short notice.â
âSo,â Heimdall began without looking, pulling a clean sheet of plain paper from the desk drawer. âThis isnât a false shipping charter, or an inventory log, or a bank note. What is it?â
âA ransom letter.â Loki regretted revealing this information the moment it left his mouth, but he had no choice â better to tell it now, rather than when Heimdall started realizing it halfway through writing and risked blotting a page.
Heimdallâs metallic eyes flitted up and he frowned at Loki, setting the quill down and leaning back in his chair. âNow, why would you want me to write that?â
Loki looked up and set his jaw, shaking his head slightly. âThat, I canât tell you.â
Heimdall regarded him silently. Whether it was judgement, scrutiny, contemplation, Loki couldnât say for certain. Heimdallâs expression didnât change. While Loki respected his ability to be discreet, Heimdallâs strong-and-silent personality made reading him nigh impossible. Finally, he raised one eyebrow. âItâll cost extra.â
Lokiâs mouth opened slightly and he nearly rolled his eyes. âI can afford it,â he grated, feeling a flicker of agitation in his chest that the man would even be concerned about such a thing. âThis isnât a fleeting interest. Give me what I want, receipt it under my private catalogue, and Iâll be on my way. â
Heimdall sighed and picked up his quill again, leaning over the desk. âFine.â
Loki inhaled deeply, raising his eyebrows and directing his gaze to the ceiling. Heâd been devising a speech from memory for a week, running it over his tongue inside his mouth and sounding it out when no one was around. He dropped his eyes and began reciting the words from memory, watching Heimdallâs skilled hand start painting the words on the page almost as soon as he spoke. âTo his esteemed grace who receives this note âŚâ
~
â... I hope it finds in a prosperous enough position to enable us both to get what we want,â Thor read aloud, his elegant brow furrowed in both concentration. He unfolded the letter further and skimmed a few more lines silently. Flipped it over, and found no return address. He looked up at the maid standing at the door and held it up in the air. âWhat is this?â
Her eyes were wide with innocence and confusion. âI â I donât know, sir, it was delivered with all the rest.â
Loki sat silently at one end of the long table, holding a spoon in his hand and stirring the bowl of soup before him in slow, disinterested circles. Green flecks of some kind of vegetable rose and fell from its cream-colored surface; neat chunks of tomato, too, alongside pale meat cooked to perfection and pulled apart.Â
It was a favorite of his. He knew this, somewhere in the back of his mind, but even the smell of it wafting up in gentle curls of steam failed to appetize him. Every ounce of his focus was bent on looking unassuming as Thor continued to read the note aloud; the note that heâd carefully hidden amongst the other letters, delivered at breakfast every morning.
âI have in my possession one soon-to-be bride of your eldest son. I understand she means a great deal to you, so let me get to the point: in exchange for 12,000 guineas, I will return her unharmed, so long as the exchange is made at the end of AugustâŚâ Thorâs brow furrowed further.Â
Loki had been home for three daysâ it was the ninth of August now, and an otherwise ordinary Wednesday morning. It felt strange to know the date again after being stuck on an island, where the only sense of time could be ascertained in the rise and set of the sun.
Only last night had he decided to risk delivering the note. Waiting to reveal your situation to Thor and his father was agony, but Loki couldnât afford to take any kind of risk. The coincidence of his arrival and the noteâs arrival on the same day would have been too close for comfort. Loki was cautious to a fault, and he was painfully aware of that fact: he was treading on your borrowed time, after all. His stomach twisted, feeling physically ill, and he abandoned the spoon entirely, staring out the window with a thinly veiled expression of discomfort as Thor finished reading.
âOtherwise, she will die gruesomely, after her usefulness and entertainment to us has been spent. With a letter V as the signit,â he added as an afterthought, setting the letter down carefully, like it might bite him. He reached for the envelope it had been delivered in and tilted it, and the serpent coin fell into his palm. He gazed at it in silence.
Loki was practically crawling out of his skin. âV,â he repeated, breaking the silence with false curiosity and looking between Thor and his father. âLike Charles Vane, perhaps? The pirate?â
âNo doubt,â Odin replied amiably, reaching across the table for the letter. Thor handed it to him, his expression stony, waiting while their father read the ransom note over for himself. He let out a derisive scoff and shook his head, letting it drop. âTwelve thousand guineas.â
Thorâs handsome face lit on confusion. âYou will pay the ransom, wonât you? Her ship was supposed to arrive in Norway weeks ago. Who knows how long sheâs been held captive.â
âThat much for one girl?â Odin said skeptically. âA girl who wasnât keen on marrying you either, I recall. Ungrateful thing. The whole arrangement has been nothing more than a bad business venture.â
Lokiâs face was dangerously pale, anger lighting up his veins like fire on alcohol. âBut we have the money,â he argued, trying to keep his vocal tone only mildly invested. It cracked. âAnd you made a deal with her father.â
Thor nodded in agreement, though clearly exhibiting a great deal more patience. âLokiâs right, Father. We have a duty of careââÂ
âSilence!â He interrupted, and they both shut their mouths. Odin set down his fork to eye both of them with a steely grey stare. âThere is nothing we can do.â
âBut we can,â Thor argued, leaning against the table on one hand and gesturing with the other. âWeâve seen the bank ledgers â Loki and I both,â he added, nodding to his brother. âYour wealth would hardly be dented. I donât see why ââÂ
âI will not deal with pirates,â Odin groused firmly, his voice icy and cold.
Something inside Loki snapped. He stood abruptly, turning to Odin. The chair scraped on the ground behind him.Â
âSo thatâs it, then,â he began. He was smiling, but in more a baring of teeth than an expression of joy. âYou would first resign her to marry a man she doesnât know, and then let her die when itâs inconvenient to help?â He pointed an accusing finger. âYouâre just afraid Vane will slip through your grasp, the same way he did before, and wound your pride more than he ever could your prospects.â Loki realized that he was snarling, his lip curled and tone venomous, cheeks flushed uncharacteristically red but he didnât care â it was too late now. The man who he called Father stared back with equal animosity, the two of them locked in heated, palpable silence.
Thor excused himself from the dining room with a quiet, grumbling apology, and Loki followed.
When he exited the room and the doors shut behind him, he saw Thor walking down the hall â but his footsteps were slow, and he clearly didnât know where they intended on taking him. Lokiâs eyes flickered, and he sighed, loud enough to draw Thorâs attention and halt his steps.Â
He turned around and came to Lokiâs side. He watched his brother reach up and press at his eyes, rubbing them none-too-gently, and he glanced back at the gilded door. âIt sounded like you know a great deal about her,â he stated quietly, breaking the thin silence between them. His large hands were restless at his sides, wanting for actions instead of words.Â
Loki dropped his hand and cleared his throat, and his eyes were distant. âI spoke with her at the ball before she left. You remember.â
Thor grunted, looking out the window. âI didnât get the chance. I had business to attend to.â
Lokiâs lips upturned in a bitter smirk. âYou always do.â His gaze found the window, too, staring out at the palm fronds as they blew in the humid afternoon wind. His chest tightened with the reminder of your island â the trees and the cave, of your smaller body pressed beneath his, smelling sweet and tinged by saltwater. Of feeling complete.
Loki could only guess at how much his father knew. Thanks to his outburst, Odin knew Loki was aware of his true parentage â which meant it would only take one line drawn in the sand between Loki and Vane to connect the dots and undo all his work. Your life and Lokiâs livelihood, felled in one devastating blow.
Thor was uncharacteristically still, a sign that he was deep in thought. His wide arms were crossed over his barrel of a chest, brow furrowed, and he shook his head almost imperceptibly, silently dissatisfied. âWe have to do something.â
Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes, picking at the dark green fabric of his wide sleeves and spreading his fingers, staring disinterestedly at the faint scars that lined the back of his hand from years of seamanship. âDonât humor me. You would never act outside fatherâs orders.â
âI would,â Thor argued, and paused, glancing over his shoulder at Loki. âIf I had help.â
Lokiâs expression flickered and he looked up, meeting Thorâs gaze. The two of them shared a silent exchange; the same kind that they had since boyhood, a silent discussion and a mutual agreement. Perhaps your cause wasnât lost after all.
The corner of Thorâs mouth turned up in a smile, and he shrugged his broad shoulders, returning his gaze to the window. âBesides,â he added, âWhat kind of husband would I be if I couldnât keep her alive?â
At the same time as a humoring chuckle left his lips, Lokiâs breath was punched from his lungs. Realization hit him like a hollow bell â something he had forgotten to consider when he decided to enlist Thorâs help. The two of you were, by all accounts, still engaged. If Thor and Loki succeeded in rescuing you, you would wed him all the same, hopelessly stuck in the same trap as before. His mind searched frantically for an easy solution, some weakness in this sudden and unexpected obstacle, but to his growing panic he found none, and a feeling of utter hopelessness rooted inside his chest that was too deep to claw out.
Loki might yet be able to save your life. But it wouldnât be a life with him that youâd return to.