lol narc abuse

for rbn, justno, and other reddit relationship fails

[lolnarcabuse]

intro to lolnarcabuse

This tumblr is dedicated to the relationship Ls of toxic subreddits like r/raisedbynarcissists and the JustNo network. Whether it's thinly veiled misogyny, revolting hyperindividualism, or pop psychiatry conspiracy theories, it (probably) has a place here.

Common topics that may be triggering include ableism, abuse, ageism, fatphobia, and sexism. This is not an exhaustive list, because reddit is a fucking snakepit.

lolnarcabuse does not encourage laughing at real abuse. When submissions are open, posts that recount traumatic experiences will not be accepted. The intended focus is on dysfunctional beliefs about relationships engendered by the culture and discourse of certain public subreddits.

All submissions must have usernames, as well as post dates and times, censored or removed. Other possibly identifying information, such as cities, countries, or occupations, should be removed at your discretion.

Lastly, "narc abuse" isn't real lol

Tags:

#narcissistic eyes - when narcs have scary eyes (often overlaps with sharkmode)

(Also the name of my new alt rock band)

#missing missing reasons - for when essential context is missing but you gotta trust me bro this is definitely all the "narc's" fault bro

#pot meet kettle - for general relationship hypocrisy

#sharkmode - When narcs are compared to animals (especially sharks) or otherwise dehumanized

(Sharks, like people with NPD, also have a bad reputation in pop culture despite not being inherently violent to humans)

#stirner intensifies - When narcs are the most ultimate selfish beings in the world!!!!!

(It's a reference to philosopher Max Stirner's egoism.)

Image credit: The cursed logo is by thingsihavedrawn and was posted on reddit here.

Last updated: April 5, 2024

[lolnarcabuse]

what narcissistic kekkai genkai is this

source: "Twisted Mind of a Narcissist: A GLITCH in 'Being Human'" by Nix the Narcissist (link)

[lolnarcabuse]

Psych2Go soundin real Catholic rn

[lolnarcabuse]

Something else that bothers me about RBN; The atmosphere of that subreddit is extremely ripe for grooming. A 30+ y/o creep lurking on that sub could convince some vulnerable teenager that moving in with them is the only way to escape their "narcissistic" parents. Come to think of it, pretty much all those "narcissistic abuse" recovery forums are a perfect hunting ground from scammers and predators.

So yeah...that place is dangerous for more than one reason.

Absolutely. reddit has a bad reputation for a reason

[lolnarcabuse]

Psych2Go believes in "porn addiction" lol

[clusterrune]

masterpost

resource listing

cluster a:

stpd, / szpd, / ppd

cluster b:

npd, / hpd, / bpd, / aspd

cluster c:

ocd, / dpd, / avpd

non cluster: wip

psychosis / psychotic: (delusions+hallucinations)

cotard's syndrome

osddid:

tagging: @smpsys

[solitaryschizoid]

I can't take these seriously someone please make a meme out of this immediately

[lolnarcabuse]

[lolnarcabuse]

*Max Stirner intensifies*

Someone please please please make a Stirner NPD flag out of this

(For those who don't get it, this is a joke referring to Stirner's ethical egoism)

[lolnarcabuse]

antisemitism has entered the chat

(Reptilian conspiracy theories, notably promoted by David Icke, are antisemitic.)

[lolnarcabuse]

[lolnarcabuse]

We've seen YTPs of Prager U, now we need YTPs of Psych2Go

[lolnarcabuse]

anti-NPD ableism bingo

From a thread by a now-deleted user on r/NPD

[cassiecryptic-deactivated202404]

i'm currently working on a big post debunking the concept of narcissistic abuse and the arguments used by believers. however, i need help thinking of the points that narc abuse believers would likely use. if anyone can think of any, please reblog with your ideas.

[lolnarcabuse]

My blog is mostly just for dunking on redditors, but I have some suggestions.

"I suffered so badly that you can't understand my experiences!"

There are many other people who have gone through the same thing and do not call their experiences "narc abuse." Why? Because "narc abuse" is just a obfuscating label for types of abuse that already exist.

Every single relevant point of "narc abuse" is attributable to other, more descriptive labels of abuse that do not rely on the stigmatization of personality disorders.

"But this abuse is different because a narcissist inflicted it!"

This logic is circular: "These things that happened to me are narcissistic abuse. This is different from other kinds of abuse because a narcissist inflicted them. I know my abuser is a narcissist because they inflicted this abuse. Therefore, the things that happened to me are narcissistic abuse."

Note that this circular logic is still bullshit even if the abuser is diagnosed with NPD. The issue is not whether or not the abuser actually has NPD, but with the fact this provides no additional insight into the abuse. It does, however, isolate abuse victims from others who do not claim to have experienced "narc abuse."

"Narcissism is a personality disorder, not a mental illness, so it's not ableist to attack narcissists."

This is associated with the conflation of narcissistic traits with actual NPD, as well as a fundamental misunderstanding of what personality disorders are. Narcissistic traits are not in themselves a mental illness, and everyone has them to some degree, even if it's not much. They are also not inherently evil or maladaptive. The DSM-5 has included NPD for a long time because it really is maladaptive for the person who has it. People with NPD do, in fact, experience very real suffering because of their disorder. Otherwise it wouldn't be considered a disorder lol.

Interestingly, anti-NPD ableists rarely say the same about cluster A and cluster C personality disorders, if they are even aware that they exist.

(Note: There are many legitimate criticisms of the DSM and its treatment of personality disorders. Anti-NPD ableism is not one of them.)

"Dr. Ramani said - "

There are a number of anti-NPD grifters out there, and Ramani seems to be one of the more popular ones. Honestly I could write a whole fucking post about her, because I think she's wildly misrepresenting her credentials and cluster B disorders to boost her own career.

I urge narc abuse believers to listen to pwNPD as well as other mental health researchers and professionals who are not trying to inflame your fears to grab your attention and money.

This post will probably be updated with more info later.

[lolnarcabuse]

rbn: real love isn't allowed to have conditions

This is also a textbook Geek Social Fallacy moment, specifically GSF2 ("Friends Accept Me As I Am"):

It's important for people to have a space where they feel safe and accepted. Ideally, everyone's social group would be a safe haven. When people who rely too heavily upon that refuge feel insecure in that haven, however, a commendable ideal mutates into its pathological form, GSF2. Carriers of GSF2 believe that since a friend accepts them as they are, anyone who criticizes them is not their friend. Thus, they can't take criticism from friends - criticism is experienced as a treacherous betrayal of the friendship, no matter how inappropriate the criticized behavior may be. Conversely, most carriers will never criticize a friend under any circumstances; the duty to be supportive trumps any impulse to point out unacceptable behavior.

[lolnarcabuse]

what's the difference between the "silent treatment" and going low contact?

The first is when you do it (bad), and the second is when I do it (good)!

[lolnarcabuse]

r/raisedbynarcissists and the missing missing reasons

This is a behavior that rbn users like accusing their "narcs" of all the time, but have trouble seeing in themselves, as shown by posts like this:

CW: ableism; mentions of death, hoarding, and sexual assault

OP doesn't explain:

whether their friend really had "narc" parents, or if that's something OP made up to describe them

the exact comments they (OP) made (in the absence of screenshots)

the context of the friend's original hoarding post (was it really out of context or explicitly about the friend's deceased mom?)

Also, if you haven't seen or spoken to a person for over 20 fucking years, your platitudes on their depression posts don't qualify you to make more personal comments!

But because r/raisedbynarcissists never allows you to criticize OP's actions ever because they are pure special victim angels who do no wrong, other members of the subreddit are incapable of giving reasonable responses. Instead OP is "reassured" by comments absolving them of responsibility for how they treat other people:

And people who get mad at you aren't just wrong, but mentally ill and malicious, too:

These are not the mindsets of people who are actually recovering from their trauma in a healthy way. They are reproducing the same disordered approaches to relationships that they accuse their "narcs" of all the time. This is not a healing space.

[lolnarcabuse]

what a fucking ghoul

Definitely the post of a not-unhinged redditor with healthy ideas about trauma and relationships

CW: abuse mention, body-shaming, surgery