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@clusterrune
Lightener
this is a blog for sharing info and resources as well as our experiences with pd's
including clusters a, b, c and the schyzo-spec/psychotic.
i can try my best to hand out advice but im not here to help diagnose anyone.
dni - taglist - masterposts - mods
♡PERSONALITY DISORDERS: What the heck is supply?!♡
If you’re persodivergent or know someone else who’s persodivergent, I’m sure you’ve heard the term supply before, and you likely have a pretty good understanding of it based on the way it circulates in the community. However, I haven’t been able to find a good resource that accurately describes what supply looks like overall. Sure, there’s plenty of resources for specific pd supply sources, especially the more ‘popular’ pds, but what is supply at its core?
Supply is something that makes a persodivergent individual feel good about themselves to a degree that persotypicals have a hard time grasping. It’s something that gives feelings like euphoria, energy, etc. Supply fuels them, makes them feel good and like they’re able to function normally. When someone is low on supply they may get snappy, nervous, low on energy, etc. Supply can sometimes even be powerful enough to break splitting! It’s like a battery for persodivergent people, when your supply battery runs low your disorder will start acting up in negative ways. This is why it’s important to surround yourself with people willing to give you what you need without sacrificing anything by doing so. Otherwise, you’ll both be miserable, and that’d suck. Not all persodivergent individuals have this supply battery, of course, but for those that do it’s important to them to have this battery be filled every once in a while. It’s always best to ask what is most helpful for these individuals when their supply is running low, however, as every persodivergent individual is different.
Personality disorders tend to develop due to emotional neglect in certain areas, meaning that those with persodivergence will be particularly excited when they aren’t being neglected in that same way. As stated in this post by @thatnarcissisticfeel, when an individual is constantly faced with being ignored or getting negative feedback as a child and their natural coping mechanism is that everyone else is wrong and that they’re better than everyone, they may end up with NPD. Therefore, giving a pwNPD positive feedback and making sure not to ignore them and to include them in things can be supply for them, as that’s actively going against the neglect they went through that caused the personality disorder in the first place. Of course, compliments and telling them they’re the best could also feed into this supply battery, as that proves their coping mechanism of being the best correct. However, if it’s suspected to be disingenuous, that can have the opposite effect.
Certain disorders, such as ASPD, SZPD, PPD, and STPD are less likely to have a supply battery due to the fact the coping mechanism is detaching themselves from the need for what they were neglected with. This does not make it impossible for supply to exist for these disorders, but there tends to be less of a need for outside validation due to the nature of these disorders. It’s best to ask if there’s anything you can do for these individuals, as it's a lot more subjective and uncertain when it comes to them.
Supply for a handful of other disorders include: ✧ Giving your full attention to someone with HPD when they talk about their interests and engaging to show you’re actually listening. ✧ Applauding someone with OCPD for doing so well on a test or other project, especially if you engage and say what exactly you loved about it.
✧ Assurance and actions to prove to a pwBPD that you won’t leave and that you enjoy being in their presence. Reaching out to a pwBPD first can give supply, too.
✧ Checking in on someone with AVPD when you suspect they’re isolating and letting them know you appreciate them and that nobody hates them for just existing.
✧ Helping someone with DPD to make decisions and talking them through it logically so you aren’t just telling them what to do but also helping them think about it without making them decide completely alone.
Some general supply ideas include:
✧ Asking specific questions about interest(s)
✧ Specific compliments
✧ Reaching out first
✧ Remembering little details
✧ Celebrating meeting goals (anything from just acknowledgement to maybe even a party if a bigger thing like a job promotion)
Supply Resources + the general supply ideas taken from @a-jagged-nightmare. The resources are mostly npd based. Unfortunately not a lot of resources out there for other pds
Supply, NPD specifically (linked above in my npd example)
Self Supply Tips, NPD & HPD focused by @narcissism-positivity
NPD, Asexuality, Hypersexuality, and Supply by @narc-rants
NPD Supply Ideas by @clusterrune
Related:
Supply Person (SUP):A SUP is someone the persodivergent individual can obtain supply from of any kind.
✧Tagging for PD posts: @kpopwerewolf @radiomogai✧
hai!!! I know you said ur not a medical professional so sorry if this is stupid to ask, but do you know any resources on NPD that aren’t condescending towards narcissistic people? I feel like even in professional fields there tends to be that bias of “and therrreeforrreee…ppl w npd shouldn’t be spoken and you should never touch them with a ten foot pole” ( also for context , I heavily suspect I might have NPD or at the very least have the symptoms associated with it which is why I’d want to know more from an objective way)
Honestly? I haven't found any sources in recent memory that didn't have some form of ableism towards people with NPD. I suppose the DSM-5 is an example but I assume you've seen that.
If anyone has good resources I'd appreciate it if you commented them.
i dont know how helpful it is but i have a masterlist here and im always accepting submissions to add to the lists and/or books (or singular list and book in this case)
NEW BOOK AND UPDATES
aspd: understanding antisocials bpd: understanding borderlines npd: understanding narcissism diary of a narcissist
no updates but promoting them anyway:
understanding cotard's wip:
are you a narcisist quiz (2) - remade version of the first.
Hello! We are a new culture is blog for cotards syndrome!
May we have a promo? (Feel free to comment to be untagged!)
@cotards-confessions @ndcultureis @yandere-culture-is @borderline-culture-is @anti-endo-polyfragculture @disabled-systems @programmed-cultureis @positive-bpd-culture-is @hypersexual-alter-culture @avpdculture @paranoia-culture-is @narcissisticpdcultureis @pyrocultureis
Please see our pinned post for more information including our dni
Thank you!
made a venn diagram showcasing the differences and similarities of npd and bpd, please tell me if i got anything wrong :>
got my sources mostly from:
@clusterrune, @hauntedselves, @shitborderlinesdo, and the internet!!
As someone with comorbid NPD and BPD this is so so so so SOO awesome!! It's really really good. Though I would like to add:
I feel like the highlighted statements should all start with "more prone to" or "more characteristically"
These statements are all things CHARACTERISTIC and very common in the disorder they are listed under, however, i also see them pop up in eachother without comorbodity
i.e. delusions of grandeur can occur as part of bpd psychotic features, people with just bpd can be just as exploitative/manipulative as people with just npd, people with just npd may also feel extreme emotions though it just would be more likely to be repressed by someone with npd and come out in different ways (such as anger, envy, jealousy, etc. those kinds of emotions. shame as an emotion is volatile in npd!), people with just npd also are likely to have volatile relationships
so on, and so forth
though that ISNT to say i think they should be under the overlap. i think if you have multiple of these "well they can happen in bpd too!" traits then you should start considering npd for yourself and vice versa, i just think these are things that are characteristic of these disorders and very common to happen in them, but, because of their heavy overlap, its not unheard of to have one or two of them if youre not comorbid
once again this is an amazing resource op<3 thank you sooooo much
made a venn diagram showcasing the differences and similarities of npd and bpd, please tell me if i got anything wrong :>
got my sources mostly from:
@clusterrune, @hauntedselves, @shitborderlinesdo, and the internet!!
i might make a second "are you a narcissist" quiz
Hi!
We're pantheons company and were running this eating disorder recover blog!
We occasionally document our own progress it we also share tips, advice, affirmations and more!
We have a short rescource list we hope to grow !
Or inbox is always open and anon is on!
Please see our dni befor interacting
Tagging for promo: @saccharinefreaks @hewasanamericangirl I dont have a lot of mutuals I can tag :(
Rescource master list!
Affirmations one
Affirmations two
Ed's can look like
How to drink more water
Helping a partner
Nausea tips
Song recs
Warm weather
Why we dont tw food
Where to find iron
YouTube distractions while you eat
To be updated in the future!
Stay tuned for more posts!
hey! sorry to say, but in your "npd safe blogs" post the foolishnpd account has been deactivated for about a year now ☹️ not sure when you'll see or reply to this, but just wanted to let you know.
have not been too active on this blog but i will get around to making an updated version of the list at some point
theres a lot of new blogs and we have not had the energy or motivation for running this blog in quite a bit. especially with starting uni in the fall and our home and finiancial situation being bad right now.
thank you, both you and others who have still been in our notes providing updates on things, its very helpful. /g
i promise eventually we'll get back to this blog and sharing rescources again
Disabled artist - comms open!
[disabled artist - comms open]
Hi! I'm spirit, I'm an artist, physically disabled, 22, and taking commissions! My main is @gravediggerss
Right now I have a visa debt to pay off and medication to buy but I don't have the money.
I have more than just art commissions open on my kofi, such as bracelets, art prints, tarot and more, and I'd be incredibly grateful for any help.
Support Cass/Sparrow On Ko-fi. Ko-fi lets you support the people and causes you love with small donations
My visa limit is 2500 and if I can pay it off I'll probably lose my card.
I need to pay this off as well as pay for medication and food at the very least.
Any help would be appreciated be it donations, commissions, buying from my store or what have you.
It's stressing me out to the point its making me physically ill which is only triggering more flares in my conditions that I really don't need.
If I'm accepted into uni I'd like to not have so much credit card debt let alone only being able to use that by the upcoming fall semester. I'd like to be able to go to my classes instead of rotting in bed but without medication and with all this stress I'm honestly scared wherever I get heatstroke this summer it'll just kill me before that.
There are a lot of things available on my kofi, it accepts PayPal and stripe among others both of which I have accounts set up with.
Examples of my art exist on @spirits-art and on my Instagram cassderolo.
I offer tarot readings, art prints, sensory friendly (pride) bracelets and more.
Seriously anything helps my situation right now.
Support Cass/Sparrow On Ko-fi. Ko-fi lets you support the people and causes you love with small donations
It's rare that I do any drag shows, it's be nice if I got book once a month but it's more like once in a blue moon ATP. I'm trying to get booked for more, they pay decently especially with tips from the audience. But only for a side gig.
Still out of a job and job hunting, wish me luck I suppose.
"how do you hear 'innerworld is not a real place' and still argue with it?"
nobody is denying that an innerworld is not a real place. i mean, obviously we all know it's not a real place, it's called an innerworld or a headspace for a reason, because it's something in your mind.
what we are arguing against is the fact that people say certain things can't happen in them, or that people aren't allowed to have feelings about things that take place in there.
what we actually are arguing against is statements like;
"people need to realize that feeling distressed about things happening in the innerworld is stupid, you did that and caused it to happen"
"___ can't happen in your innerworld, it's not a real thing and just made by fakers"
"stop treating your innerworld as a place of value/stop having feelings about it"
"complex innerworlds are fake"
"innerworlds are entirely your imagination and you make everything in them happen willingly"
nobody is denying that an innerworld isn't a real place. if they are, then that's likely a separate issue and they just need some guidance. but what we are denying is the claims that certain things can't happen, or that people aren't allowed to have feelings about events in their innerworld, or that certain things about an innerworld makes you a faker.
you are arguing with strawman fallacies.
you are using strawman fallacies, taking the opinions and words of others and twisting them to fit your own meaning to find something to be mad about, to find something that'll cause drama. your entire argument is built upon strawman fallacies, your argument is not real or of importance. nobody is saying that an innerworld is a real life place, they are saying things can happen with them. that is all they are saying.
Why I dont like the term singlet
[Why I dont like the term singlet]
This post is not to say you cant use it, just to explain why we dont use it personally and are actually uncomfortable with it.
Instead of using singlet, we simply refer to non systems as just that.
As a system we would use singlet for ourselves as another use for the term, a non twin.
We were supposed to be born with a twins but werent, and learning this around the same time as learning our mom had a mascairage before our older brother really hurt. we'd grown up with the idea and claiming to have a twin or older sister before we learned this, we always wanted one, we got our younger sister instead and we dont have a good relationship with her. We learned about the fact that we were supposed to have a twin and the our mom had a failed pregnancy with her first child years after our younger sister was adopted. So it hurt a lot.
We still carry a lot of that hurt and it influenced some of our alter relationships. (Those who know the source I used for this blog theme might see that present, as qingmei is a name lady bai, who I see as my older sister both in source and in my system, calls me).
That said we learned we were a system almost 5 years ago now. Much more recent than the other events, and we'd seen singlet be tossed around in the community just as long of not longer.
We did use singlet before, but because of the other use being for a non twin it didnt feel right to keep using the way we did. So we switched to just non system.
Some use the terms singleton or singlit (alternate spelling and slight pronunciation difference) to refer to a non twin instead, we've known singlet as the term for it longer. More often it comes down to what word you've heard growing up.
Another reason we dont use singlet to refer to a non system is because the person who isnt a system might still be a twin and wouldnt appreciate being called a singlet. Just as a system doesnt appreciate being called a singlet because it doesnt describe them.
I've seen it happen before, where a twin has been harrassed and called a singlet in reference to not being a system and people got angry when said person didnt want the term used. (I wont delve further as I'm sure people know who this references and I dont want to bring up someone elses expirience and name if said person wishes not to be brought up. Just trying to be polite while providing an example.)
Its not okay to get upset when people ask you not to use certain terms on them and you cant police what terms people chose to use instead, as in dont get upset if you're asked by that person not to call them a singlet and dont get upset when someone chooses to use a different term like non system instead of singlet.
Theres reasoning behind it.
A lot of words we use in the system community have different meanings outside a system context.
Singlet also refers to clothing for example. It's fine for people to want to use alternatives.
In fact alternatives are encouraged in a lot of cases. Its not something to get upset over.
Endos and supporters dont interact, my content isnt for you.
Thanks.
If there are anymore posts discussing this please send it out way.
Let's talk about headspace and te innerworld. Many people make the argument that it's not real in order to disprove things that happen in it.
Here's why that argument doesnt work.
For many if not most systems, headspace/the innerworld is a real place in the system that us used to (help) manifest alters and better form their sense of self and identity, especially when fragments and splits happen and they need a grasp on their appearance to better form and understand themselves as a start. Plus having headspace to visualize things helps the mind understand what's going on in the system behind the scenes when others are fronting, so on and so forth.
There is nothing wrong with systems treating their inner worlds as a real place, the mind is real, the system is real and so are the alters so the home they have in headspace shouldn't have to be treated as any less real.
And for the matter things that go on in it such as ways alters split and form, ways they interact etc, are just as equally real as well.
This post is written for a discussion I'm going to write up soon I just wanted to place this here in a separate post to better keep things organized. I will follow up on this with a connected topic but I would appreciate it if I could have help finding more posts that discuss headspace and the innerworld, including ways they work etc.
Rescources about headspace, the innerworld and how alters form would be a big help. /g
Let's talk about Sysboxes.
[Let's talk about sysboxes]
Disclaimer:
This is just an awareness post, not meant for fighting and whatever you chose to do with this information DO NOT HARASS ANYONE MENTIONED.
Dont go harassing the blog or any of the mods. You can block them or what have you just do not spam them with asks or messages or anything of the sort. If they ask to be left alone then leave them be otherwise that is harassment. Thank you.
Now as many might be aware already, sysboxes is a userbox blog for systems that claims to be anti endo yet has quite a bit of controversy around that and there mods, one mod to be specific though more mods are included.
If you are unaware, this blog has stated they are anti endo, but their mods dont all align with what the blog is supposed to be. A handful of their mods are neutral but there is one that is a pro endo mod.
The problem with this is because if you're claiming to create a safe space for systems excluding endos and then have mods running the blog who themselves violate that claim, you are not creating a safe space and you are going against your own stance by allowing someone to invade.
Below we have screenshots a user sent our partner including their own statements. Apologies for the lack of ids. I hope it's in order.
If sysboxes has not yet taken responsibility for allowing an ableist pro endo "mixed origin" system to be a mod in a space meant to be anti endo then they seriously need to. They are not a victim they are putting victims, that had horrible experiences with endos and follow them, in danger.
But until then here are some blogs that you can follow and support instead that are more transparent about actually being anti endo:
those mentioned are perfectly welcome to ask to be untagged or removed from the list entirely.
@sysboxed , @systiveboxes , @disabledsysboxes , @antiendosysboxes , @sysboxesforsystems , @antiendouserboxes , @systemuserboxes
