I ❤️ Leo Valdez @lolxdswag123 - Tumblr Blog

Before

Haymitch Abernathy x Reader

author's note: hiiii this is a prequel to this story: The 52nd Hunger Games and that story is literally my masterpiece so go read :)

warnings: saddddd, angst, being young and in love, the hunger games, mentions of grief and death, prequellllll

Word Count: ~4.4k

District 12 was always extra silent the morning after the Reaping. I guess I was too young to really understand it all then. My parents did a good job at shielding me from the horrors of the world for as long as they possibly could. I was only ten, and the thought that I might someday have to fight to the death in an arena designed by the Capitol was hardly a thought in my head.

I knew what the Games were, obviously. It was required for our schools to teach us about the war and everything that came after. And yet, it all seemed like some far off reality that could never touch me. The only thing I could control was myself, so why worry about something I had no control over?

It just so happened that on this specific day, the only thing I wanted to control was staying in bed a little longer. My friend Burdock had other plans. He’d woken me up far too early, and far too loud for my liking.

My parents had been great friends with the Everdeens for as long as I could remember, which meant that Burdock Everdeen was far too comfortable coming into our house and disturbing me.

We’d always been great friends, but he had been starting to spend more and more time with some curly haired blonde boy from the Seam. I wasn’t jealous. Burdock was like a cousin to me. But that didn’t stop me from wondering what was so great about this strange blonde boy that made Burdock want to spend so much time with him. He’d even stopped waking me up at dawn to go to the meadow. I didn’t mind, but it was strange.

Now as we walked through the streets of District 12 just as the sun was beginning to come up, it felt like things were finally starting to go back to normal. Save for the deafening silence.

At that age, I was just beginning to understand the unspoken day of grieving immediately after the Reaping. I didn’t personally know the tributes that went to the Games that year, they were too old to be in any of my classes. But what I did know was that the two teenagers that stood on the stage that year would never be seen again.

I was about to ask Burdock if he knew either of the tributes when he made a quick turn, away from the path we normally take to get to the meadow.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

Burdock kept walking, “To the bakery,” he said.

“The bakery?” I walked faster to catch up with him, “Why? It’s not anyone’s birthday.”

Burdock shook his head, “No, but yesterday it was.”

I scrunched my nose, “Who’s birthday is on Reaping day? That’s sad.”

Burdock didn’t answer. He kept walking.

“Burdock?”

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “It was Haymitch’s birthday. Thought we’d do something nice since his birthday is so depressing.”

I stopped walking, my feet suddenly silent against the gravel. “Haymitch Abernathy? That blonde boy you’re always off with?”

Burdock stopped walking, turning to face me. “Yeah, now come on.”

I started walking again, catching up to him. “You didn’t get me a cake on my birthday.”

“Your pa got you a cake on your birthday,” Burdock said, kicking gravel in front of him.

“Well, why didn’t Haymitch’s pa get him a cake for his birthday?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“He doesn’t have a pa anymore.” Burdock said quietly.

The rest of the walk to the bakery was quiet. He didn’t have a pa? I wondered what happened to him. I wondered a lot of things about this Haymitch boy.

“What’s on your mind?” Burdock asked as we stepped in front of the bakery, “You’re being quiet this morning.”

“Am not,” I said, glaring at him.

“You are,” Burdock said, nodding, “Normally you never stop talking. Today you’re quiet.”

I looked at my ash covered shoes, playing with the gravel beneath my feet, “I dunno,” I said, “I just feel sorry that Haymitch doesn’t have a pa, and that his birthday is on Reaping day. That’s all.”

Burdock smiled, a wide smile, and clapped me on my shoulder. “That’s why we’re doing something nice today.”

A smile slowly made its way across my face as we stepped into the bakery.

Burdock ordered a fancy cupcake to put a candle in. That was all he could afford. I reached into my pocket, knowing my pa never let me leave the house without change in my pocket.

“And some pastries,” I said, placing my change on the counter. Burdock nudged me and smiled, shaking his head.

When we left the bakery with paper bags in our arms, the sun was beginning to warm up the streets of 12. If we were lucky, we’d make it to Haymitch’s house before it got too blistering.

“Where does he live?” I asked as we walked.

“In the Seam,” Burdock said.

I nodded.

We walked and walked until my feet started to get sore. My shoes were worn out, but my ma insisted that it wouldn’t be time to get another pair until school starts again. She said I’d wear out another pair by then anyways, with how much time I spent running around with Burdock.

“Burdock, my feet hurt. How much longer?” I asked, walking carefully to try to take some pressure off.

“We’re almost there,” he said.

And we were. The houses were starting to look less cared for— if you could say that any houses in 12 really were cared for. Yet, the houses in the Seam had a specific level of dilapidation that most other houses didn’t. They were extra old, extra rotten, and extra small.

We eventually came across a house that stood a little straighter than the others, with a woman and a toddler on the porch. The woman was speaking softly to the young boy, who was giggling and looking at her with stars in his eyes. When she looked up, her eyes brightened a bit.

“Well hi, Burdock,” the woman greeted, “Wasn’t expecting to see you out here this morning.”

Burdock smiled, stepping into the porch, “Thought I’d come say happy birthday.”

“Does your ma know you came all the way out here?” The woman asked, giving him a teasing look of suspicion.

Burdock shrugged, “Naw, but she won’t be mad. She’s got a lot of cleaning to do today. She’ll be happy I’m out of the house.”

The woman nodded, an actual look of concern floating over her features before returning to a smile, “Make sure you remind her that if she needs any clothes washed that she should bring them to me. I’ll charge her half price.”

Burdock nodded, “Will do.” He gestured vaguely toward me, paper bags wrinkling, “This is my friend. She’s got pastries.”

The woman smiled, “Haymitch is lucky to have such kind friends.”

I wondered if that’s what we would be. Friends. It was hard to imagine enjoying the company of the person who had stolen my closest friend.

But I just waved— the best wave I am able to do with a paper bag in each hand— and we walked though the front door of the house.

“Haymitch?” Burdock called through the house, walking across the creaky floors to a small table. He set his paper bags down. Just as I was about to put mine down, I heard the floorboards creak behind me and turned to see Haymitch Abernathy hesitantly coming through a door on the other side of the small room.

“Burdock?” He said, furrowing his eyebrows. He glanced at me for only a moment. “What are you doing here? I thought we weren’t going out to the woods until later.”

Burdock took the cupcake out of the paper bag on the table and said, “Happy birthday, Haymitch.”

Haymitch’s face cracked into a grin, and he quickly approached the table, looking in all of the bags that we brought.

“Thanks!” He said, “You didn’t have to do that.”

Burdock shrugged, about to say something when Haymitch turned to me.

“Is this the girl you’re always with?” He asked.

I frowned, “My name is y/n.”

Haymitch turned to me with a big smile on his face, extending a hand for me to shake and said, “Hi, I’m Haymitch.”

I shook it.

He quickly turned back to Burdock, “Thanks for all this. Those pastries are my favorite. Ma almost never can afford them.”

Burdock smiled and nodded to me, “Those are from her.”

Haymitch turned back to me, “Thanks!” He reached into the bag, digging out a small pastry that was shaped like the moon. “Do you always get birthday gifts for people you don’t know?”

I frowned, “I know you now.” I said, mildly irritated at his questioning.

“That you do.” He said, and then called, “Ma! Sid! Come see what they brought!”

After that, it was hard to imagine what my days had been like before Haymitch came along. That Summer alone the three of us had spent endless hours climbing trees, running through the meadow, and swimming in the stream.

When school started back up, we were all a lot busier with chores and homework, but we still saw eachother almost every day. Burdock still came over for dinner most days, and Haymitch started showing up at my house unannounced when he needed help with homework. I didn’t mind one bit. Every weekend we’d all wake up at dawn and race to the meadow until we were breathless from laughing too hard.

The next year was the first year anyone we’d known had gotten Reaped. It was our teacher that year’s son. She stopped showing up to school after that. Our class was taken over by Mr. Avett. He was nice, but it was never the same.

The night of the Reaping, Haymitch’s birthday, we were all tucked into my room together. Haymitch and Burdock didn’t have their own rooms in their houses, so we spent the most time in my house. My parents didn’t mind. They were normally busy with work anyways.

Burdock insisted that we celebrated Haymitch’s birthday in some way, but Haymitch didn’t want to. He said he’d already celebrated that morning with his ma and Sid, and that after the Reaping he’d lost his excitement.

I was trying hard to hold my tears back until after they left. Watching our teacher cry today broke something inside of me that I wasn’t sure would ever be repaired.

We sat in a circle on my floor together, but I wasn’t speaking much. I was afraid my voice would crack if I did.

At one point, Burdock made a joke that I must’ve missed. Both of the boys stared at me, waiting for a reaction. I looked between them, trying to recall what had been said.

Haymitch nudged my foot with his own, “You okay?” He asked.

I nodded, forcing a smile onto my face. I still didn’t trust my voice.

He frowned, eyes scanning my face.

Burdock broke the silence, “He might be okay, you know?”

“What?” Haymitch and I both asked.

“He might live. He might be District 12’s first Victor. Why should we believe he doesn’t have a chance?” Burdock asked, and by the tone of his voice I could suddenly tell that he was a lot more bothered than he was letting on.

Haymitch scrunched his eyebrows together, shaking his head, “I thought District 12 already had a Victor.”

Burdock shook his head, “I don’t think so… in school we’ve never learned about a game that one of us has won. Plus, no one lives in Victor’s Village.”

We both stared at him.

“Anyways,” Burdock continued, “I’m just saying he might be the first.”

The lump in my throat was growing harder to swallow.

“Yeah,” Haymitch nodded— hesitantly— as if trying to convince himself that it might be true, “He might.”

I couldn’t hold it back anymore and a sob escaped my throat as tears began to stream down my face. “But, he might not!” I cried.

The boys always denied it, but they shed a few tears too that night. When our tears stopped, we all took turns telling what our ideas of Heaven looked like. I’d never heard anyone describe Heaven as beautifully as Haymitch did.

After that, my world started to spin a little bit differently. The following year was the first year that we were eligible for the Reaping. I remember holding my breath for so long during the ceremony that I’d nearly passed out. Maysilee Donner had to nudge me to keep me upright, and then laughed at me.

It ended up being two older kids that I didn’t know. Even when I exhaled, I didn’t feel the same. It could have been any of us. Me, Burdock, or even Haymitch. But it wasn’t. I was grateful, but part of me was still stricken with terror that one day it might be one of us being sent into that arena.

At thirteen, Burdock started getting busier. He didn’t come over for dinner as often, and only was able to stay at my house until he had to go do his chores. Haymitch was still around a lot, but it felt different without Burdock. Burdock was the glue that brought us together. Without him, the dynamic was shifted.

I started noticing things about Haymitch. How his hands fidgeted when he was frustrated with a homework assignment, how the space between his brows creased when I teased him, and most of all how golden his hair looked when we were in the meadow just before sunset. He also didn’t talk much. Well, he did when I gave him the chance— but when I started talking he would just listen until I finally decided to shut up about whatever was on my mind that day.

I also started noticing things about myself. The feeling I got when I made him laugh, the way I had to pull my eyes away when he smiled that big smile of his, and the way it seemed that the Mockingjays’ songs got louder every time I looked at him. I wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but I knew that part of me didn’t mind that Burdock had gotten more busy.

The next year, Haymitch got busy too. His ma was struggling to make money, so he was doing everything he could to help out. I’d bring them food sometimes to free him up for an evening, but I was starting to miss our long days together.

It didn’t help that Burdock started crushing on my friend Astrid. He spent a lot of his free time with her, so I was alone. I decided that I should help my parents with their work to keep myself busy. It worked, but I missed my friends.

That Summer was one of my favorites. I’d started spending a lot of time with Astrid, which was refreshing after spending so much time with boys. And yet, everywhere we went, they would show up. They were bored with less work to do in the Summer, and Burdock liked to find ways to spend time with Astrid. Even if that meant intruding on our hang outs.

The four of us were reckless teenagers that laughed too hard, stayed out too late, and told each other everything. We spent most nights in the meadow as the sun went down. We had chores to do in the morning, but it didn’t matter. Burdock would usually slowly move closer to Astrid, and they would end up in their own little world. It was quite endearing to watch. My closest friend was falling in love.

Haymitch and I took that as our cue to give them some distance. We would normally end up somewhere in the woods, looking up at the stars and laughing until we were both red in the face. These moments were my favorite.

“Remember that time we climbed that tree just past the stream and—“ Haymitch couldn’t even get his words out without doubling over with laughter.

I cut in, “And Burdock sprained his ankle?” I laughed just as hard.

We ended up sitting against a large tree that looked over the meadow. We could see Astrid and Burdock getting up to walk home in the distance. We both should’ve been home by then, it was getting late, but it was too nice out and I didn’t mind getting scolded from my parents if it meant spending more time with Haymitch.

“I’m really glad Burdock dragged me to your house that day,” I said, staring off into the dark field. Fireflies had started to dot the air in front of us.

Haymitch laughed, “Yeah, me too.”

Neither of us said anything for a minute.

I’m not sure why I asked this. I’m not sure why I said most of the things I said around him. He felt like another part of me. I could say anything and he would just get it. I never had to ask to be understood. I never had to explain myself. He knew me better than I knew myself.

“Do you think Astrid and Burdock will get married?” I asked, quietly.

Haymitch laughed again, turning his head against the tree to look at me. He had a piece of a leaf in his hair. I reached up to get it out and he studied me closely.

“I think so.” He said, “They have something special.”

I nodded, looking into his eyes. “I think so, too.”

“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” He asked, reaching out his hand to play with my fingers. He always liked to fidget, especially when he was tired.

I sighed, thinking for a moment. “I think so. Maybe one day. But I don’t want to think about that until after I turn 19.”

He set my hand back down, turning so he was fully facing me. “Why 19?”

I didn’t even have to think before I responded. “Because after I turn 19 I’ll never have to worry about getting Reaped again.”

I paused, picking a weed from the ground, “I don’t want to fall in love with someone just to lose them. Or for them to lose me. You know?”

He thought for a good minute, the crease between his brows appearing, before reaching for my hand again. “Yeah, I know. My ma has it hard.”

I nodded, squeezing his hand. “Do you think you’ll ever get married?”

He nodded, looking up at me, “Yeah. Some day.”

“Some day,” I repeated, looking out into the field of fireflies.

We were both quiet for a minute, my hand in his, before I smirked and said, “Got anyone in mind? Lula Mae from school has got her eye on you.”

He shoved my shoulder, laughing and shaking his head, “She does not.”

“Yes she does,” I said, laughing with him, “I always catch her staring at you in math class.”

“Well, sweetheart,” he said, grinning, “I’ve got some bad news for you because I always catch you staring at me in history class.”

“No you don’t!” I exclaimed, face reddening from both the nickname he called me and the accusation.

“Mhm,” he said, smirking teasingly, “Maybe you’re the one that wants to marry me.”

I shoved him gently, “I do not stare at you. If I do it’s probably because you’ve got dirt on your face or something.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

On the morning of Haymitch’s sixteenth birthday, I went to the Seam early. Burdock had plans to go see Astrid, and I knew I’d be busy helping my parents after the Reaping ceremony, so I wanted to wish my best friend a happy birthday before the day got started.

I was already in my clothes for the Reaping. A purple blouse that was my moms, and a long white skirt that she’d made for me from leftover fabric. It was beautiful. It wasn’t all white. Some of it was cream, some ivory, some tan, but it was mine. And I loved it.

Haymitch and I went out to the meadow for only a short time. He had to do some work before the ceremony, so I couldn’t keep him too long. I brought him pastries and a card from my parents. He gave me a hug, and I wished he hadn’t let go.

“Will you come over tomorrow?” I asked, taking a bite out of my pastry.

He pretended to think for a moment, then said “If I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Hey!” I pretended to be offended.

He laughed at himself, then said, “Yes, sweetheart, I’ll be there.”

I smiled, allowing myself to blush at the nickname. Haymitch and I had gotten closer that year. Burdock insisted he was sweet on me, but I didn’t believe him. Not really. But I did know that I might’ve been a little sweet on him.

“Good,” I said, “then we can properly celebrate your birthday.”

“What are we doing now?” He asked, finishing his pastry.

“Well,” I started, “I don’t know. It just never really feels like we can celebrate your birthday on Reaping day.”

He nodded, his face dropping just slightly, “Yeah,” he said, “I know.”

I searched for a second, wracking my brain for something to lighten the mood. It was his birthday, and I wasn’t going to let him be sad on his birthday.

“Open your card!” I said, suddenly, picking up his card from the ground and handing it to him.

“Okay,” he said, a small smile returning to his face.

He opened the paper wrapping carefully, knowing that my pa likes to reuse it when he can. He pulled out a small card where I had written ‘happy 16th birthday Haymitch’ on the front.

On the inside, was five dollars in cash. It wasn’t much, but my parents have a special savings jar where they keep money for people’s birthdays. After how much I’ve talked about Haymitch to them, they figured this year he deserved one too.

His jaw dropped, “You can’t— I can’t— I can’t accept this,” he stumbled over his words.

“It’s your birthday gift,” I said, smiling. “I was hoping it would be enough so you could take some time away from work for a few days.”

He smiled brightly, wrapping me in his arms. “Thank you. Tell your parents thank you.”

I smiled, wrapping my arms around him just as tightly. “You can tell them yourself, when you come over tomorrow.”

He pulled away, staring at the money in the card. He looked back up at me, back down at the card, and then closed the card, putting it down on the grass beside him. He shifted closer to me, reaching down to take my hand.

“Actually…” he said, running his thumb over the back of my hand, “What are you doing later— I mean— after the ceremony?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “After the ceremony? I think I’m just helping my parents with work. Why?”

He looked out over the meadow for a breath. “Do you want to meet me?” he asked, turning his head back to look at me, “Back here, after the Reaping?”

“Back here?” I asked, “Why?”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about something.” He said, fidgeting with my hand.

“Why don’t you talk to me now?” I asked, laughing lightly. His eyes looked extra blue in the light, his hair glistening in the sun.

He breathed out, the crease between his brows deepening, “I’ve got to go in a minute. But meet me here, after the Reaping? Well, actually, I’ve got to go fill the cistern for Ma right after, but then you’ll meet me here?”

“Haymitch, I—“

“You look beautiful today, by the way,” Haymitch interrupted.

My face got hot. I wasn’t sure what to say, but butterflies swarmed my insides.

He laughed at my reaction, grabbing his card and standing up. He reached out a hand to help me stand as well. I took it.

“So you’ll meet me?” He asked.

I nodded, still trying to find my words, “Yeah,” I said, “I’ll be here.”

He nodded, smiling at the ground. “I’ve got to go,” he said, taking a step away.

“Haymitch,” I stopped him, taking ahold of his hand quickly and pulling him close to me again. I stood on my toes and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek, before I could think any better.

“Happy birthday, Haymitch,” I said quickly, stepping back. “I’ll see you later.”

He grinned wide, touching his cheek where I’d just kissed and nodding, “I’ll see you later,” he said, turning and starting away.

For the next hour I was buzzing from energy. All I could think of was meeting Haymitch in the meadow later.

When the Reaping approached, however, my spirits had begun to sink. I walked to the town square with my parents, discussing our usual meeting place after the ceremony is over. They hugged me before we went our separate ways.

I stood with the other girls in my age group, clustered together like cattle. It was too hot, and my palms were sweaty from heat and nerves, but I caught Haymitch’s eye across the square and smiled momentarily.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed to me. I nodded.

The girls were called first. Maysilee Donner was called. I felt sick. I was standing with Merrilee and Astrid who sobbed when she walked to the stage. I held their hands tightly.

I didn’t really know the other girl, Louella McCoy, but she was too young. Seeing them both on that stage made me want to throw up. I looked over to Haymitch, who looked like he wanted to come over to me. But he couldn’t.

What happened next was a blur. The boys names were called and I felt a sense of relief for just a moment, that Burdock and Haymitch weren’t called, but then a gunshot rang. I didn’t see what happened, too distracted by the cries of the girls around me and my own paralyzing fear, but the next thing I knew Haymitch was getting pushed onto the stage.

“No.” I heard myself say.

“NO!” I cried, stepping out of the ropes they confined us in. Astrid and Merrilee grabbed my arms, pulling me back.

“No. Haymitch!” I called.

The next thing I knew, Burdock was in front of me, holding me tightly and blocking my view from the stage.

Haymitch was going to the Games. Not just any Games, but the Quarter Quell. With double the tributes.

The 52nd Hunger Games