’Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Many a time had passed in the Primera’s life time, or rather, second life time. One that he lived out in solitude without another to accompany him. But that wasn’t even the worst suffering he had endured. The most pain was when he had found someone to share his time with. Even in a platonic mutual relationship, it was more than he could have asked for from an individual. In reality he had only hoped for such that there was one that could come near his person without perishing at the feeling of his enormous strength. That alone, that fact brought the slightest hope to his empty being. Once one that favored his company came around, despite now showing such feelings, he enjoyed and cherished such time, even going so far as the thinking back to it in times of loneliness that he had returned to.
We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today
Walking away
But in the end, it only caused pain. They would leave, be it for known reasons or not. Some died, from age, disease, or battle. That wasn’t the worst part. It was when they had simply disappeared, without rhyme or reason. Had it been his own fault or not, Starrk had never known. And upon falling asleep, once his sanctuary to the plagued life that he lived, was not swarmed with thoughts and ideas as to what could have possibly happened. Their last meeting replaying over, as if to search for hints as to why they left. He never brought himself to pursue the departed companion, seeing as it was rather obvious that they no longer wished for his presence. He was not one to force it upon them. In the end, he always felt as if he deserved such a crushing fate.
If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain
Perhaps it was something in his past life that caused him to become damned to such a degree. It was to the point that he felt as if the hole in his chest was slowly increasing in size, consuming him with the pain of his solitude. No such luck. It remained the same each time he awake in a cold sweat. Alone. Each time he regained consciousness was a curse on its own, as he was no longer in the company of Lilynette, who had seemed to have disappear since the war. With that, brought the greatest pain to him. But as it always went, as if a vicious cycle that the lone wolf had found himself a part of, he deserved it. And so he watched from great distances as other’s banded together, being able to remain within each other’s presence. His fate consumed him without a chance for the Espada to fight back. Because with each swing of his blade, it only got shorter, cut down by his own efforts.
Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one